Funniest experience

[Don_of_the_OMM]

And now for something completely different. This is the opposite of my other thread. Now is a chance to look on the bright side of life and share your funniest experience. Have at it.

[BudPalmer]

Oooh Oooh! This was a few years back while I was working at Toys R Us. There was a guy (Eric) I worked with who was also in the Navy and worked at the toy store to make some extra bucks. We talked all the time and had music and reading interests in common. So one day he tells me that he got a bunch of tickets to the Grateful Dead in Washington DC and asks me if I knew anybody who would want to go. I jumped at the chance and decided to bring my friend Paul. So the day of the concert we meet up (me and Paul, Eric and two of his burnt-out hippie friends). It’s at this point we discover that no one has a car that can comfortably carry us all. We opt for Eric's buddy's car with bucket seats in the back and lucky me I get to ride on the hump! So we're driving from Philly to DC and pass through a tunnel (Anyone who's ever watched Tiny Toons knows what's coming next). That's right! Its time to hold your breath through the tunnel. Only the driver holds his a bit too long and passes out at the wheel. The car swerves and hits a large work truck shattering the back window covering me, Paul and the burnt out hippie chick who just wouldn't shut up the whole time with glass. Eric, who was the passenger grabs the wheel with one hand and smacks the driver back to life with the other. As it turns out the driver of the truck we hit wanted no parts and just drives off. If I learned one lesson that day (other than not getting in a car with strange hippies) it’s to not hold your breath while driving through a tunnel. You have been warned!

[BudPalmer]

Oh yeah and there was this other time someone started a thread about funny experiences. So I posted a funny experience and I killed the entire thread! You should have been there, it was hi-lareous!

[Pfligman]

Not the funniest but it came to mind first.
My friend was applying for a job and he knew he wouldn't pass the pre employment drug test. Someone (alright it was me) told him one way to clean your system was to take one gallon of water pour a couple boxes of Jell-o mix into it and down it before it solidifies. My friend decieded to try this with 9 packs of Jell-o. You could actually see his stomach expand after he drank his mixture. We about had to take him to the hospital because we thought his stomache was going to burst. It was great to see this little 110 pound guy develop and instant beer belly. He learned a lot from this experience, and he still failed his drug test.

[CarlosMucha]

a lot of things I cant choise one but here you go a 3:

-When I 1st come to USA I run in a bisicle in the center of the speedway (I mean in the CENTER! the card let me go, becuae was a car accident, I made "stop" with the hand and after that I was in the center of the speedway) when I really know were I was, well, was too late. for lucky a cab stop after I pray for one hour.

-I put my bicicle in the flg of USA in the mail office, almost go to the jugde....

-another time I was waking and I "meet" a dog, when I begining run, he run in the opositd direction!.

[Funky Jett]

I went out to eat with a group of guys from work and a consultant working for our company. Guys + eat = Hooters, of course. After dinner, one of the guys gets his credit card out to pay for lunch. The consultant tells him to forget it, he was buying and going to expense it. So the guy leaves his credit card on the table and leaves to go to the Men's Room. I pick up the card for safe keeping. When he comes out, he grabs his sunglasses and says nothing about his credit card, which is safely in my pocket. We get back to work, and the other guys and I hatch a plan. We get one of the ladies that works there to help us. While she was calling, I went into his office to chat with him... ok, I really went in to watch his reaction. She called him and told him she was with Hooters and she wanted to let him know someone was there trying to spend $847 worth of food and merchandise at Hooters.

"WHAT??? I absolutely do NOT authorize that transaction!!!", he said. He checks his wallet and realizes he's lost his card. He then calls his credit card company on his cell phone to cancel his credit card. All the while he is trying to talk to someone at the credit card company, the "Hooters" woman is listing off everything this "person" has purchased. When he finally gets someone on the line with the credit card company, I lose it... I break out laughing. He looks at me and says, "It's not funny. Someone stole my credit card!" I pull it out of my pocket and ask him, "You mean this one?"

He didn't speak to me for a week. Best week I ever had at work! ;)

[TheBouncer]

this may be one of those "you had to be there" situations, but i'll share anyway.

Me and my buds were having a good time drinking. Among us was huge Texan whom i could barely understand when he talked. I didnt even know his name so I just called him Tex. Well we had a couple beers and some mixed drinks and decided to go party hopping. It was winter, and there was ice on the roads and (fortunately) on the steps leading away from the front door. Well I was about the 3rd person out the door behind two of my friends. Both of them slip on the ice but dont fall, they warn me and I avoid the ice. The friend who was in front of my whispers in my ear "I bet the next person to come out trips on the ice". As he was saying it, big ol' Tex came out the door holding an entire 24 pack of bear in one hand and an open bottle in his other hand. As soon as i turned around after hearing my friend's bet I see Big Tex, 350 lbs of pure Texan meat, slip on the ice. This was no ordinary slip. his feet totally left the ground and he landed hard on his back. The funniest thing about it was that he managed to save all the beer! well almost, a bit of the beer from his open bottle flew out and convieniently landed directly on his crotch. I swear, I about had a heart attack. I was rolling on the ice tipped grass (without a coat, but i was drunk so i couldnt feel it) laughing my lungs out. to this day just remembering it makes me fall over laughing.

[TheBouncer]

another funny incident, the cops showed up at my house yesterday and told me i was under arrest for murder. I said "the murder of who?", and the officer said "this topic".

[Pfligman]

All gone!!!

[Funky Jett]

:confused:

[BudPalmer]

There was this other time I went to a strip club for a friend's bachelor party. I'm not big on strip clubs (they make me feel like a loser - I know these chicks could care less about me, they just want my money). So it was one where you had to BYOB (horray completely naked - I do however like seeing naked women). So I'm sitting at a table and I'm drinking a beer and a stripper comes up to me and asks “Do you mind if I grind on you for a while?” So what am I gonna say, no? She settles in my lap and begins to go to work. She starts conversation and asks me where I'm from. I tell her and she stops for a second and asks my name. I tell her and she jumps off my lap takes three steps back and screams "Oh my God you're Bud Palmer (not my real name but you get the point)!?!" It was like one of those scenes in the movies where you hear the imaginary needle of the imaginary record player screech and the soundtrack stops. The whole place went silent for a second (giving me time enough to crawl under the table). As it turns out she was the younger sister of a grade school friend of mine. I didn't see her for the rest of the night!

[ChrisClix]

Nice try Bud, but I can top it.

While living in Oklahoma, I went to a female cousin's (Brooke) wedding in Ohio. At the reception, I see this really hot girl sitting with a bunch of other girls (all about my age). I go over and ask her to dance. We chat and discover we both go to OU - me Oklahoma, her Ohio. We keep dancing and talking. Things are getting pretty friendly and we start talking about getting together later that night for adult activities. During the "last dance," I asked her how she was related to the goom. She says she isn't,...she's Brooke's cousin! [I had no idea who she was since I am related to Brooke through her mother and this girl was related to her through her father]. Instantly, we go to arms length dancing and a radical change in the nature of the conversation. That was funny...and creepy.

[mattsolo]

I have a good one. My friends thugit and Broken are working part time at Wal~Mart(I wouldn't call what they did working but you get the picture). They come out of the back room walking to the Register at the Electronics counter. When thugit stops Broken midstride and points to a young woman bending rather percaiusly over the counter, butt in the air. They both smile. Neither of them realizing who it is at this point, thugit says something to the effect of "Very NICE!" When the woman stands up thugit turns to Broken and says "Dude, I am so sorry, I didn't mean it." Turns out it was Broken's Wife bending over the counter! I would have given anything to see the look on their faces. When Broken's wife turns around and says "What are you guys stairing at?"

[thugit]

Actually, I don't remember apologizing.

That's where all the wife-swapping jokes began for the broken one and I......

[mattsolo]

I thought this was my story. I can tell it how I want regaurdless of the facts or who was there! ;)

[Inbetweener]

O.K., this really is a true story so if you don't believe me than go carp into a fancy hat.

Here goes....I'm on the Red Line Train going into Boston...I notice that there are a ton of people gathered to one side of the train...that is because there is this one real big dude (I'd guess that he was 400lbs) puking ALL over the place. He is just sitting there grabbing his enormous gut and unleashing go awful up-chuck sounds and people are standing away from him just staring in awe. Meanwhile, he is trying to apologize in between his fit of vomitting...LOL!!!!!!!

That's not all....

The next stop at Andrew Square this dude decides he has to get out of there fast...he just launches his huge body up and heads for the door...but as the train slows down he loses balance and falls all the way down to the other end of the train and lands on some little guy...the little guy wasn't hurt and he just kind of laughed it off and told him it was O.K. Finally, the big guy leaves the train. But then these three nuns walk on to the train through the door this guy should've went through, holding bags...they look over noticing the commotion and fail to notice the reason that those prospective chairs were free was because they were soaked in this guys halfway digested lunch and stomach acid. Two of them sit right in it and the other (please forgive me for finding this funny) slipped and landed on her back and the contents of her bag landed in the mess...she was covered in vomit. It was surreal...I couldn't believe that this chain of events took place about five feet in front of me. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt for days...I did muster up enough dignity to help these poor ladies out though.

[TheBouncer]

"I did muster up enough dignity to help these poor ladies out though"

sure ya did, sure ya did.;)