The Corrupt-a-Wish Game

[PirateNinja]

Granted.


NCSoft says "Today, we shall #### and kill St. Dumas!"


:nervous:


I wish I has Hypersonic Speed.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your name is Hypersonic Speed. People think you're comic book geek who legally changed his name. They laugh at you and don't take you seriously.

I wish there were more City of Heroes/Villains clix.

[PirateNinja]

Granted.

Your name is Hypersonic Speed. People think you're comic book geek who legally changed his name. They laugh at you and don't take you seriously.

I wish there were more City of Heroes/Villains clix.


How could I deny that to you?

I'll grant it. Nothing bad happens. We get many more CoH/V clix.

I wish I would stop eating candy.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

The U.S. put out a health warning....if you dont eat candy , you die...and well.....you stop eating candy so you die.


I wish i had a boat with bells on.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your bells, unfortunately, create a sound so loud that it messes with the sonar of bats and dolphins. Both attack your boat viviously and destroy it.

I wish I could kill a kitten.

[PirateNinja]

Granted.


However, I report you to the police, and you get arrested.

The next week you are killed in prison by a member of the "Kitty Kat Gang", Butch.

:disappoin


I wish I had Word Perfect so that I could finish my report.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You finish it. And get an F.

I wish i got an F.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted.

You get an F. For Fat!!!


I wish there was no snow up here....

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

Instead of snow, there is now cake mixture. Tonnes of cake mixture....at first its great....but then you all get ill, and of course you can barely move because of the mixture. You die.

I wish i had a really cool mouse mat.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

Since you are such a clown, the circus comes to your house. The Elephant gets scared and tramples you. you die.
I wish I didnt have a headache.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You now have a migrame.

I wish I lose weight instantly.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

You lose 300 pounds. You die. Ha. ha. Go me. ha. ha. ha.

I wish I could come up with better corruptions

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You get a job as a professional wish corrupter, and get deported to an alien world.

I wish i could understand frogs.

[Fantastic_Four]

granted

you understand frogs. You become a frog. Some little bratty kid come ans sticks a bottle rocket up your bum. You die.

I wish I didnt have a "migrame".

[ReZourceman]

Explain why I turned into a frog...

[Fantastic_Four]

Explain why I turned into a frog...
Mutation?

[ReZourceman]

Mutation?

Meh works for me.

I wish I mutated into something better than a frog.

[Fantastic_Four]

Meh works for me.

I wish I mutated into something better than a frog.
no can do before you corrupt my wish

[ReZourceman]

Oh yeah...Granted.

Now, feeling fine you decide to go out and party on down. You get run over.

[Fantastic_Four]

granted

You get mutated to the elephant that trampled you. Now you have yucky ReZ guts all over your feet. You try to lick it off but that horrible taste kills you.

I wish water would boil faster.....

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

It now boils instantly, from little irritation. You have a bath. The water boils...and you burn.

I wish they did a DK Avengers ultimate guide book.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

Unfortunantly there is no such thing as a "Donkey Kong" Avengers ultimate guide book

I wish I never took that bath that killed me

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

Your life sucks thus you corrupted your own wish just by wishing.

I wish I could think of better wishes...Im really scraping the barrel.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

You think of the best wishes ever. Everyone gets discouraged and stop posting. Everyone hates you.

I wish I could go you Wal-mart

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

You think of the best wishes ever. Everyone gets discouraged and stop posting. Everyone hates you.

I wish I could go TO Wal-mart
fixed.....

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

Wal-mart sucks.

I wish this thread would die, so we cna all get on with our lives. It doesnt have the same longevity of my quote manipulate thread. :)

[KitsuShel]

Granted.

Wal-mart sucks.

I wish this thread would die, so we cna all get on with our lives. It doesnt have the same longevity of my quote manipulate thread. :)
Granted.

Now everyonr has no place to wish and they all shun you.

i wish me and my son felt better.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You and your son feel so good, you explode.

I wish you dont get me dirty.

[KitsuShel]

Granted. I don't get you dirty, but I get dirty with your GF. She loves it and leaves you.

I wish I could take a nap.

[Charaxes]

Granted. I don't get you dirty, but I get dirty with your GF. She loves it and leaves you.

I wish I could take a nap.
Granted.

You have the opprunity to take a nap. However, you can unaware of the gas leak in your house. You never wake up.

I wish I could get the booster packs of Icons that I ordered two weeks ago.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, your boosters arrive. Unfortunately they are full of R Ravens and E Scarecrows.

I wish I knew how to dance.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You nkow, but youre disabled now...so yuo cant actually dance.

I wish i could break dance.

[KitsuShel]

Granted. Now you can break dance, but you break both of your legs. Oops.

I wish my rice krispy squares came out perfect.

[PirateNinja]

Granted. Now, however, they are poisonous and you spend a week in the bathroom.

I wish I was stronger than Superman.

[KitsuShel]

Granted. Now, however, they are poisonous and you spend a week in the bathroom.

I wish I was stronger than Superman.
Granted. You are now stronger than superman, but you cannot control it. Everything you touch breaks or turns to dust. As a result, you never ever have sex.

I wish my clothes would clean themselves.

[PirateNinja]

Granted. However, they all become much too small and even your child cannot wear them.

I wish I was a giant man.

[KitsuShel]

Granted. However, they all become much too small and even your child cannot wear them.

I wish I was a giant man.
granted, you are now a giant man, but your penis does not grow and stays "normal" size.

i wish I had everything packed for our overnighter already.

[PirateNinja]

Granted. However, everything you packed turns into snakes and they slither away.

I wish I was dead.

[Charaxes]

Granted. You die an go to hell. Your punishment is to live your life over and over untill the end of time.

I wish I had a dishwasher.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

It washes dishes only, so one day you put a glass in, and it explodes and you die.

I wish I had a green keyboard with funky purple lights that tell you when CAPS is on or off. With tunes on aswell. And a fuzzy space bar for added texture enjoyment.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, you also get a matching, fuzzing monitor skin as well. As a result, your girlfriend starts to think you're a pimp and leaves you for some more "stable"


I wish my house would clean itself.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

One day your house confuses dirt with you, and eats you. the house gets into the newspapers as "Cursed house" and everyone dies.

I wish I had a nifty ### white chocolate advent calander.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, but the white chocolcate actually is made with semen.

I wish I had a caring boyfriend.

[Pipedream]

Granted, you have a caring boyfriend, unfortunately he cares not for you but for your sister/brother/sibling instead.

I wish I was on vacation.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, you are on vaction, but you are swamped with work at home the whole time.

I wish candy was fat free.

[Pipedream]

Granted, you are on vaction, but you are swamped with work at home the whole time.

I wish candy was fat free.

Granted, unfortunately the chocolate is made by the same guy who mad ReZourceman's chocolate advent calendar.


I wish there were more hours in a day.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, there are now 5 more hours in a day, but they are mandatory concerts of Swiss yodeling.

I wish I had something to drink.

[herosspirit]

Granted, unfortunately the chocolate is made by the same guy who mad ReZourceman's chocolate advent calendar.


I wish there were more hours in a day.

Granted, but businesses decide that you have to work those hours and give you more work.

I wish I could speak Chinese

[bagman04]

granted,you now speak fluent chinese but can not under stand what you say. to thos ethat understand you will only hear incoherent senteces as you have no idea what you are saying.

I wish I could get away with anything fo ra day with no consequences.

[ShadowMoses]

Granted.

You go out have sex with all the hot chicks on the planet, smoke so much weed you could press your face against a plane window, party all nite, steal a load of money fromt he bank and become president of the US and nothing bad happens all day. Although the next day you find out you have AIDS, you dont know if thats good or bad though bc your brain cells are fried, you dont remember the parties, you are impeached from presidency(sp?) and you go to jail for stealing the money. In jail you meet Bubba a homocidal transvestite who shot his mother in the toe with a machine gun. He falls in love with you and he sees you drop the soap...and we all know where this leads.

I wish i had a large sombrarro(sp?) (big mexican hat) but not big enough to cause me phyiscal pain or cause anything to happen to me emtionally. Just a big cool hat...

[KitsuShel]

Granted.

You go out have sex with all the hot chicks on the planet, smoke so much weed you could press your face against a plane window, party all nite, steal a load of money fromt he bank and become president of the US and nothing bad happens all day. Although the next day you find out you have AIDS, you dont know if thats good or bad though bc your brain cells are fried, you dont remember the parties, you are impeached from presidency(sp?) and you go to jail for stealing the money. In jail you meet Bubba a homocidal transvestite who shot his mother in the toe with a machine gun. He falls in love with you and he sees you drop the soap...and we all know where this leads.

I wish i had a large sombrarro(sp?) (big mexican hat) but not big enough to cause me phyiscal pain or cause anything to happen to me emtionally. Just a big cool hat...
Granted, you now have a big sombrero. But now Jose beats the #### out of you for stealing it. (oops :))

I wish I didn't have to watch frickin basketball

[PirateNinja]

Granted. Instead, you're forced to watch Sunday Mass. Over and over.

I wish Black Widow was white.

[KitsuShel]

Granted. Instead, you're forced to watch Sunday Mass. Over and over.

I wish Black Widow was white.
Granted. they now change her name to White Widow and she murders you for ####ing up her name.

I wish the TV would die so I wouldn't have to watch basketball. . . . . .

[Comicstu]

Your T.V. dies, but without it you become incredibly bored. You decide to go outside, but to your horror, a huge basketball game is taking place. Even more to your horror, you sit and watch it, having nothing better to do.

I wih a received a free comic every single day.

[Pipedream]

Granted, You receive a free comic every day, however it is written by Chuck Austen and drawn by Rob Leifield

I wish my pizza would get here.

[KitsuShel]

granted, your pizza is there, but it's full of anchovies and mushrooms.

I wish I had a nice cold glass of milk.

[Fantastic_Four]

granted but I mix up the "g" in glass and the "c" in cold and you get a nice golden classroom about milk.

I wish my throat didnt hurt no more

[Pipedream]

Granted, you have your glass of milk, but it is breast milk..... expressed by Dark Crisis

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted, you have your glass of milk, but it is breast milk..... expressed by Dark Crisis
ha ha! Beat ya to it!

14 more posts to go before 1,000!!!!

[PirateNinja]

Granted, FF. Your throat doesn't hu...HOLY ####, you just got shot in the head. That sucks.


I wish I had a cape.

[Fantastic_Four]

granted

You have a cape that was ripped, ran over by a car, used to strangle someone, used to clean up my blood off the floor, raped, eaten, spit up, eaten again, spit up again and a ton of other things I cant think of right now.

I wish I had a lightsaber.

[PirateNinja]

Wish granted. But, you get so jealous of my cape, you attempt to kill me in order to steal it. You realize that I have the higher ground, but continue to attack anyway. I cut off all of your limbs with my cape.

[herosspirit]

granted

You have a cape that was ripped, ran over by a car, used to strangle someone, used to clean up my blood off the floor, raped, eaten, spit up, eaten again, spit up again and a ton of other things I cant think of right now.

I wish I had a lightsaber.

Granted, you point it straight forward and turn it on. You find out you pointed it the wrong way, it has now gone straight through your body and kills you. As you die you say to yourself... I was the chosen one....

I wish I didnt have to wear glasses

[PirateNinja]

You don't have to wear glasses....because you do not have EYES!


I wish I had a shark that had no teeth.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Instead, your frikken shark has frikken lazer beams attatched to his frikken head. You burn and die.

I wish I didn't have a rash on my foot.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

You now have a rash on your arse, and youre in public and wearing a pair of boxers that rides up, right to your rash...and you cant do anything about it.

I wish I had a pet dragon...safety dragon.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, but your pet dragon eats the neighbors dog and the goverment takes him away.

I wish the mail would come twice a day.

[Charaxes]

Granted, but you realize that it would double the amount of junk mail that you would have to sift through.

I wish that I was healthy.

[Fantastic_Four]

Granted

you are physically healthy but mentally...well......umm....you arent.

I wish I could get the Sesame Street theme song out of my head

[KitsuShel]

Granted

you are physically healthy but mentally...well......umm....you arent.

I wish I could get the Sesame Street theme song out of my head
granted it is now replaced with the Barney Song. . .
"I love you, you love me. We're a happy family . . . . "

I wish I could tear my boyfriend away from XMEN Legends2 so I can play.

[Fantastic_Four]

granted it is now replaced with the Barney Song. . .
"I love you, you love me. We're a happy family . . . . "

I wish I could tear my boyfriend away from XMEN Legends2 so I can play.
Granted.

you pull sooooooooooo hard you tear him in half. That sucks.

I wish I had the Sesame Street theme song stuck in my head instead of the Barney Theme song

[KitsuShel]

Granted.

you pull sooooooooooo hard you tear him in half. That sucks.

I wish I had the Sesame Street theme song stuck in my head instead of the Barney Theme song
Granted. Now you have both songs stuck in your head simultaneously.

I wish dinner was made already.

[Pipedream]

Granted, but the theme is sung by Barney

I wish I could go home

[Pipedream]

Granted. Now you have both songs stuck in your head simultaneously.

I wish dinner was made already.

Granted, but a raccoon steals it before you get it to the dinner table


I still wish I could go home.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, but a raccoon steals it before you get it to the dinner table


I still wish I could go home.
Granted. your mind goes home, but your body stays where it is.

I wish Armor Wars would come out sooner.

[ReZourceman]

Granted. your mind goes home, but your body stays where it is.

I wish Armor Wars would come out sooner.

Granted.

It comes out in 4 hours....no really. Heh heh heh.

I wish i could corrupt that.

[KitsuShel]

Granted you corrupt my wish into something horrible and make me cry

I wish my son would take a nap.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

Your son steals a nap (A rare type of african bird) from a pet shop, and you go to prison for bad parenting.


I wish i had a Nap.

[KitsuShel]

Granted you now have a Nap(asuming that you meant the bird) and it poops all over your room.

I wish I had someone to talk to.

[ReZourceman]

Granted.

Im now here....unfortunately its me.

I wish i could afford more Armor Wars.

[KitsuShel]

Granted you get tp buy more Armor Wars, but it's the carp you already got.

I wish the Eagles would just trade Owens or cut him loose.

[Charaxes]

Granted. He gets suspended indefinitely for "conduct detremental to the team". Wait, he really did. Now the Eagles will suck even more than before.

I wish I had the cash to repair my car.

[KitsuShel]

Granted, but after your car is fixed, some disgruntled Eagles fans push it over a cliff, light it on fire, and pee on it. Then the insurance company decides it was your fault for being inflamatory and instigating the situation.

I wish I owned a nice, big house with a beautiful view.

[bagman04]

granted, you get a house made out of wood with a termite colony underneath it. your house gets eaten and you neglected to buy insurance as well.

i wish i was impervious to all types of physical and biological harm.

[Charaxes]

Granted. You are now impervious. However, everything you ever cared for is gone. Family, friends, job, school, etc. You are so lonely and miserable, you no longer want anything but to die. But you are now imprevious to all physical harm, so you are doomed to walk the Earth alone, miserable.

I wish that the Rams would pick up T.O. in the off-season.

[superloafer]

Granted.

The Rams pick up T.O. in the off-season. They pick him up and then they drop him...into a Burmese Tiger Trap. He then dies.

I wish I didnt need food,water,or air to live and that i didnt have emotions and that i was impervious to EVERYTHING.

[bagman04]

Granted. but you are forced to roam around with me for the rest of eternity.

I wish next week would com efaster so i can get my clix brick already.

[Antipathy]

Granted, but your clix brick had no figures or cards in it, and Wizkids refused to help you.

I wish people would post in this thread more often.

[Stuart_Rex]

Granted. It's me though. You win some, you lose some.

I wish I could fly, right up to the sky, but I can't.

[spider_ham]

Wish granted. Someone else makes that wish for you, but unfortunately, they hit an invisible barrier, and plummet to the earth.

I wish that Superman Returns was never made.

[Stuart_Rex]

Granted. But Superman 5 is made instead. It's twice as camp and silly as Superman 4 but stars Tom Green as Superman.

I wish it would stop raining.

[Pashmina]

Granted. But due to the permanent lack of precipitation, the U.K undergoes it's worst drought ever, rivalling those found in Africa. Millions die.

I wish I could sing.

[St-Dumas]

Holy carp, this thread is back!

I wish I could sing.

Granted. You can sing the happy birthday song like an angel. Every other song sounds worse than before.

I wish I had my drivers liscence.

[BigSoph]

I wish I had my drivers liscence.

You had it

Now you cannot find it, but you remember distinctly that you had it

I wish everyone else got their fondest wish and all gave me a huge wad of money for being so kind

[splashy66]

You had it

Now you cannot find it, but you remember distinctly that you had it

I wish everyone else got their fondest wish and all gave me a huge wad of money for being so kind

You get given huge wads of money, but due to a large proportion of people wishing for lots of money it loses its value causing the economy to collapse and all money to be worthless.

I wish for telepathy.

[Fat_Ninja]

You get given huge wads of money, but due to a large proportion of people wishing for lots of money it loses its value causing the economy to collapse and all money to be worthless.

I wish for telepathy.

Granted, but you have no way to shut off the voices in your head. Your effective range is 20 miles. I would suggest avoiding New York or Tokyo.

I wish my freakin' desktop would work. I tire of the laptop and my wife's desktop.

[BigSoph]

Granted, but you have no way to shut off the voices in your head. Your effective range is 20 miles. I would suggest avoiding New York or Tokyo.

I wish my freakin' desktop would work. I tire of the laptop and my wife's desktop.


your freakin' laptop works but it starts freaking other people

Then it freaks a trigger happy cop, who puts it down

Now your computer is down

I wish my stomach would stop bugging me

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your stomach has been surgically removed. Badly, I might add.

I wish to see miraculous wonders.

[Stuart_Rex]

Granted. You see miraculous wonders.

Everything else is a bit of a let down after that. Life becomes an endless cycle of drudgery. Grey day, after grey die. You tire of the monotony and take your own life.

I wish St. Dumas were alive again.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Author Alexander Dumas is declared to be a saint by the pope, after which he rises from the grave as a vengeful holy zombie. All humanity falls to the undead curse.

I wish I had kung-fu grip.

[Stuart_Rex]

Granted. You also have realistic hair and eagle eyes. To all intents and purposes you are Action Man. (http://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/conservation/reveal/graphics/large/action_man_desert_hunter.jpg).....or GI Joe or whatever he was called in America. You have no genitals. That'll be nice for you.

I wish I were a little bit taller.

[Fat_Ninja]

I wish I were a little bit taller.

Granted! Sadly, that change has also set off other changes and you've become allergic to oxygen. Sad.

I wish we were allowed to light off fireworks at my apartment complex.

[jedah_s]

Granted! Sadly, that change has also set off other changes and you've become allergic to oxygen. Sad.

I wish we were allowed to light off fireworks at my apartment complex.

wish granted. you are evicted from your apartment... nothing stopping you now.

i wish i could paint better.

[BigSoph]

wish granted. you are evicted from your apartment... nothing stopping you now.

i wish i could paint better.

You lose your current job but are immediately hired to apply paint to gamblers (betters)

I wish I could find an apartment that did not have me next to noisiest person on the planet (any direction), no neighbour had a dog that howls at 5 am, none of them had bugs, was no more than a 10 minute walk from the subway system and cost me under $800/month inclusive

[Fat_Ninja]

I wish I could find an apartment that did not have me next to noisiest person on the planet (any direction), no neighbour had a dog that howls at 5 am, none of them had bugs, was no more than a 10 minute walk from the subway system and cost me under $800/month inclusive

Granted with ease! Sadly, you need to be a senior citizen and an amputee to qualify to live there, but in time, I'm sure you can achieve both of those goals. But you did find one!

I wish I had more fresh coffee in my cup.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You are teleported to Columbia to get fresh coffee, but you are captured by druglords immediately. It's fairly sucky.

I wish I knew what pictures to load onto my MP3 player.

[Fat_Ninja]

I wish I knew what pictures to load onto my MP3 player.


As you sit idly watching the forums, your final rival Immortal finds you. In a daring and spark-filled battle, you finally take his head. You know everything. You are everything.

Then that all goes away thanks to a stupid sequel where you're suddenly an alien or something. Obviously you no longer know what pictures to load.

I wish I had a Powerbook.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your Powerbook has a bad battery, so you constantly need to charge it. The excess electricity causes a spiking bill, rolling blackouts and increased carbon emissions that speed up global warming and set the world on fire.

I wish I could use my powers for good instead of evil.

[Daky]

Granted.

Your Powerbook has a bad battery, so you constantly need to charge it. The excess electricity causes a spiking bill, rolling blackouts and increased carbon emissions that speed up global warming and set the world on fire.

I wish I could use my powers for good instead of evil.

Granted.
Your former villain associates feel betrayed, and hunt you down and kill you.

I wish I had x-ray vision, so that I could see thru packs of heroclix and spot the super-rates and chase figs.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You look in your first booster and it has nothing good. Right after that, you die of cancer from super-exposure to radiation.

I wish my immune system was super-powered.

[jedah_s]

Granted.

You look in your first booster and it has nothing good. Right after that, you die of cancer from super-exposure to radiation.

I wish my immune system was super-powered.

wish granted.
your immue system is super-powerful. but sadly, it's also super aggressive.
it no longer waits for you to be sick, it actually kills those around you so they can't make you sick.


i wish for the person who corrupts my wish to get exactly what they deserve.

[Fat_Ninja]

i wish for the person who corrupts my wish to get exactly what they deserve.

Granted! I had a lovely breakfast, thank you. And after that, I got to watch some Godzilla. Unfortunately, the combination of bacon and sausage gravy has had..."unfortunate effects" that have driven off the cats and my bride.

I wish I had a case of Star Wars Pocket Models to open today.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You have a stolen case. The police arrest you for Grand Theft Nerd.

I wish I had a ride to Target.

[Fat_Ninja]

I wish I had a ride to Target.

Granted! Unfortunately for you, I was your ride, and you've been taken in as an accomplice.

I wish I was down to my pre-marriage, post-high school weight.

[BigSoph]

Granted! Unfortunately for you, I was your ride, and you've been taken in as an accomplice.

I wish I was down to my pre-marriage, post-high school weight.

Granted

You lose both legs and both arms below the elbow

Good thing you have that bride now, hmmm...

I wish, when they do those stupid 'rate the hcrealmsers, give power to the hcrealmsers' that I would be included for once ya exclusionist bastards

[Antipathy]

Granted.

You're rated as the worst realmer ever, and are perma-banned.

I wish I could run 5 miles without suffering from fatigue.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

You're rated as the worst realmer ever, and are perma-banned.

I wish I could run 5 miles without suffering from fatigue.

Granted. Unfortunately, as soon as you run 5 miles and one angstrom, you explode. But hey, you take out seven blocks in the process!

I wish I had a Joe Walsh ray.

[St-Dumas]

Holy carp this thread is back again.

I wish I had a Joe Walsh ray.

Granted.

You have a Joe Walsh ray. It walshes people named Joe. Unfortunately, walsh means agitate them to beat you up.

I wish for a bag of Tim's Sea Salt and Vinegar potato chips.

[JKLantern]

Wish Granted. You are given a bag of Tim's Sea Salt. And on the ground appear the vinegar potato chips. Next to the dog doo.

I wish I was able to get a genuine Philly Cheesesteak while at my family reunion in Flourtown this summer.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

A genuine Philly Cheesestake mysteriously appears out of the sky and falls down in front of one of your family member's dog, who eats it, then poops like a madman-dog for the weekend (Which you are in charge of cleaning).

I wish I was good at baseball.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

A genuine Philly Cheesestake mysteriously appears out of the sky and falls down in front of one of your family member's dog, who eats it, then poops like a madman-dog for the weekend (Which you are in charge of cleaning).

I wish I was good at baseball.

Psh, only dog that was there belonged to my 1st cousin, once removed. I ain't cleanin' up after it. :devious:

Congratulations! You're sent to Cambodia, where you suddenly are the most skilled baseball player in the country.

I wish my phone got reception in my friggin' dorm.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your phone gets reception. However, at the exact same time, your college finds you guilty of doing terrible things to the school mascot. You get booted and can only afford a school that's exactly like the one you go to now, except there's no phone reception anywhere and nobody likes you cause you're new.

I wish Countdown was better.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

Your phone gets reception. However, at the exact same time, your college finds you guilty of doing terrible things to the school mascot. You get booted and can only afford a school that's exactly like the one you go to now, except there's no phone reception anywhere and nobody likes you cause you're new.

I wish Countdown was better.

We actually might have to change our mascot, or at least the pictures of stuff that go with our college. Apparently, "the Tribe" is offensive to some people, as is having two feathers for our logo. If I was in charge, I'd tell the complainers I'd change the picture, and then change it into something more offensive, like a little red man passed out face down, with a flask of whiskey in one hand and a slot machine arm in the other. THEN we'd see what's offensive.

But enough about me going to Hell. Back to the game.

Countdown is better...for five year olds, as it's turned into "Care Bear Countdown."

I wish Jeff Beck would have a free concert at my school.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Jeff Beck agrees to do a concert. However, an alien kidnaps and mindwipes him, taking away all data about his music from his mind. Isntead, you get some local emo band to play. Emo music. Nuff said.

I wish cable didn't screw with R-Rated movies. When I watch American Pie, I wanna see Nadia strip!

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Wish Granted.

There is no censorship in America and children are corrupted and constantly swear and people see all of the horrible things and events taht go on in the world and that the government cover up and freak out and start killing one another.

I wish I had a lot of money!
I wi

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You have a lot of Monopoly money. It blows away in the wind.

I wish I didn't have to read The Secret History by Donna Tartt.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

You have a lot of Monopoly money. It blows away in the wind.

I wish I didn't have to read The Secret History by Donna Tartt.

Wish granted. Instead, you have to gain the knowledge from the book in suppository form. It's painful going in and you get an infected...well, let's just say life is unpleasant from that moment forward.

I wish I had a copy of Izzy Stradlin and the Juju Hounds.

[scehaono]

granted, however the album is defective...however it continuously loops on your least favorite track, unable to read the rest of the album

i wish girls were less complicated

[biz567]

Granted, but now your the one being complicated so it still doesn't work out.

I wish school wasn't so stressful.

[JKLantern]

Granted. With the lack of stress, you become complacent, and your regular, survival instinct level of paranoia vanishes. This leads you to do all manner of strange things, such as going to moose trapping school and learning about moose farts, and making cream of toothpaste soup. While strange, none of these things harm you, and in fact net you quite a profit on the bar bet scene.

Then one day, for no particular reason, Ted Danson comes up to you on the street and punches you in the face. The presence of his fist is so powerful, you turn into an onion, and then get used in a recipe for Rhode Island Hot Wieners. You are devoured by one of my relatives. I'm not telling you which one.

I wish the food here was better.

[biz567]

Granted. It's amazing, but you won't be able to stop eating it. You'll spend all of your money on it and just sit inside all day. You think to yourself "Well that's not that bad, I do that already!" but then your computer and tv break, and you have no money to get a new one or get them repaird.

I wish Friday would get here faster.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You get to Friday on auto-pilot, a la Click, where you suddenly find yourself in a Cage Match with Tito Ortiz. You have a tatoo on your arm that reads "Chelsea" which you are unsure of the story behind, your hair is now bright purple, and to top it off, you're naked. That's right. You missed the best week of your life, and now you're gonna die.

I wish I could summon giant tree monsters that would do my bidding.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You get a giant tree monster. Unfortunately, it's a giant banzai tree and only understands Japanese. Your orders mean nothing to it.

I wish for season 2 of Robot Chicken on DVD.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You are given a DVD which features 2 Concerts of songs by the Four Seasons played by a couple of Cybernetic Hens. It's so bad, it catches your TV on fire, and burns your house down before you even play it. You end up in a homeless shelter, where an old homeless black man teaches you to become the best dobro player on Earth. You go own tour and make millions. And just when you set foot in your new house, you trip over a stray cat, crack your skull and die.

I wish I could sing like Bob Seger.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Bob Seger suddely goes mute. You do too. Forever.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Propel Fitness Water.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You are given one bottle of water. As soon as you finish the bottle, you get hit by a bus. But wait! There's more!

After graduating from the North Star Institute of Mystical Studies, Pashmina finds your corpse, and brings you back to life as a zombie slave. You are forced to break into stores and steal Bjork albums for him for the next 15 years. After that, he loses you in a game of poker with Keith Richards, who harvests you for spare zombie parts. For the next twenty years you live as an undead brain in a jar, until the worms come. Then you turn into an octopus, who smells a lot like a banana. You are kept in a tank of Propel Fitness water, which proves detrimental to your health, but not fatal. Finally, one day, you are eaten by a teenage ninja.

I wish I had a Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza right about now.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Everything that you just said happened to me, happens to you. Except you get eaten by a teenage mutant ninja turtle. And not the cool one. The dorky one who never made it into the comics.

I wish I had a Lobo.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. You get eaten by the wolf you just wished for. However, your conciousness lingers on when you...pass on...from the wolf. You grow up into a nice tree. Unfortunately, you get chopped down and turned into a dance floor. People trod upon and spill drinks over your trapped, disembodied soul until eventually the owner of the place burns down the building for the insurance money. You exist as ashes, which get blown all over the world, in fragments of fragments. You exist as less than a ghost.

Finally, the pieces of your conciousness get gathered up and put into a new vessel-JKLantern. Ironically, gaining a second personality puts him a step closer to being sane, which still isn't all that close.

I, I wish I could swim. Like dolphins. Like dolphins can swim.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You become a dolphin. That in itself is a punishment.

If it isn't then let's say a shark eats your tail and harpoons stab your fins and Seaworld makes you do impressive tricks you don't know how to do so they fire you and release you back into the wild and sharks eat your fins and harpoons stab your tail.

Use take 2.

I wish I knew how to make better guacamole.

[JKLantern]

Congratulations! You can make a better guacamole. But then the avocados rebel. You attempt to escape from the greens, but you fail, and your jaw is painfully broken in the process. You are then subject to a beheading, a la Robespierre.

I wish I didn't have a painfully long Orgo Lab today.

[Daky]

Granted! Instead of a long Orgo Lab (whatever the heck that is) Your professor is replaced by the interdimentional hopping Wizard ORKO from the He-Man seiries. He begins gleefully casting spells to "Assist" the students to get their work done faster. In the ensuing magical maestrom, Orko somehow splits the atom causing a very localized explosion. You are instantly vaporized. No more pain... EVER.

I wish my girlfriend could stop smoking.


Congratulations! You can make a better guacamole. But then the avocados rebel. You attempt to escape from the greens, but you fail, and your jaw is painfully broken in the process. You are then subject to a beheading, a la Robespierre.

I wish I didn't have a painfully long Orgo Lab today.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Your girlfriend's mouth disappears. She cannot, among other things, talk.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

Your girlfriend's mouth disappears. She cannot, among other things, talk.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Wow, you made that one easy. Let's see if I can mess with it.

Bamf! You're a fish. In front of your computer. With no water beyond the average amounts of water vapor in the air of your locality. You can't breathe. Quickly, you flop, jump, and wriggle to the nearest source of water! It's not a large source, nor is it the most hygienic thing to be swimming around in, but hey, it's water, right? So why is it yellow...?

You suddenly regret not flushing. The uric acid corrodes your gills. You die.

I wish the Post Office was open later here.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

It's open exactly on second later. And it charges you one hundred more dollars for every time you mail something.

I wish I had more bubblegum.

[scehaono]

granted
you start chewing your gum, and wonder at the marvelous taste in your mouth...it's hot tomato soup!
and then...steak and potatoes! "wow!" you think to yourself, this is amazing!
finally, the flavour becomes that of warm blueberry pie...and you realize with a start that this has been done before...and spit out the gum as fast as you can.
but it's too late...your skin gains a bluish tinge, and your body starts swelling, your skin becomes a deeper blue, and your body keeps swelling til you're the proportionate size of a blueberry

i wish willy wonka really did make that gum...without the side effects

[JKLantern]

Granted. Willy Wonka makes that gum without THOSE particular side effects. Instead, the side effects include sonic diarrhea, spontaneous combustion, incoherence of speech and physical form, flatulence, baldness, hairiness, temporal narcosis, spontaneous tentaclosis, necrosis of brain tissue, psychosis, neurosis, depression, an erection lasting four or more hours, Burt Reynolds, lycanthropy, vampirism, zombosis, a nervous twitch whenever anyone says the words "parsley," "football," or "tuberculosis," nucleophilic replacement, development of gills, increased photosensitivity, death, pants allergy, rash, psoriasis, reproduction via budding, and a hatred for gerbils called "Kevin."

I wish this hat fit better.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Now the hat fits so well, that it molds to your face and head, becoming part of you. There is no way to ever get it off, and it fights back if you try to have it surgically removed.

I wish i could finish my homework faster.

[JKLantern]

Granted. Of course, it is inaccurate, so you end up failing out of school. Feeling depressed, you go on a twenty year long drinking binge. Somehow, by the end of this bender, you have become the leader of the Basque nation. As soon as you are given an independent state, you choke on a waffle and die. Your corpse turns an interesting shade of puce, and is subjected to many humiliating experiments that lead to a new and improved version of Viagra.

I wish I had the More Jack Than God album.

[scehaono]

granted
you receive the album right away...but it becomes cursed, and you are damned to listen to that one album continuously for the rest of your waking hours

i wish i had a $1,000,000

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You get $1,000,000. However, it's money from over a century ago and the actual monetary value of it is insignificant.

I wish my cell phone was broken.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. Your cell phone is broken. So are you.

I wish I had a cheese steak. A good one. Maybe one from Geno's up in Philly. Always wanted to try one of theirs.

[Thawmus]

Wish granted. An alien bursts out of your chest, since the secret ingredient is an alien embryo. But it's damn delicious.

I wish the mafia threads were open.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You get lynched in all of them. And every mafia game you participate in, you die in the first round.

Oh wait. That already happens

Says JK the Human Bomb...

I wish I had some Pineapple Chicken Curry right about now, cooked in 14 oz. of Coconut milk, with peas, diced carrots, and maybe even chunks of potato.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Unfortunately, the container it comes in is sealed shut and invulnerable to everything but Pineapple Chicken curry itself. But, due to the destruction of Pineapples and Coconuts in the great Pineapple-Coconut war, you cannot make anymore. So you spend the rest of eternity starring at the container and wishing that you could partake in its Pineapply Chickeny goodness.

I wish i had super powers.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You have a super corrosive belch.

I wish I didn't have a five page lab report to fill out.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

You do not have the lab report, how ever it is still due. If you try to get a copy from a friend, it disappears in your hands. When it is due and you do not pass it in, they kick you out of school. Desperate for money, you test experiemental drugs for a big Phamisudical company. One of them makes you extremely hairy and make one of your arms weigh 45 pounds more then your other one. Seeing how creepy you have become, MTV notices you and puts you in the Real World: Antarctica. However, when you arrive a random suicidal eco terrorist caveman named Stephano eats you.

I wish I had a ham.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. Iron Ham is teleported to your location. You go off on a zany adventure that eventually becomes a movie, but due to a lousy agent, you receive no money. And you're still hungry.

I wish the food here didn't suck quite so much.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

The food sucks more, so much so that it sucks you into the turkey sandwich you are eating. Were you are comically chased by a tomato for eternity.

I wish that I had I knew the meaning of life.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You had you knew the meaning of life. Since that makes no sense, you get nothing.

And a piano falls on your head for no reason.

I wish the Mariners played better.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

The Mariners do play better, but they are still not good at baseball. Instead, they play Gin Rummy better.

I wish Rap would go away forever and never bother me AGAIN!!!

[lunar]

Granted. Instead of listening to their noise the young 'ens rob your house and kill your dog.

I wish for the resurrection of TheNumber's dog.

[JKLantern]

Granted. It is resurrected as the Hound from Hell. It breathes fire and brimstone, and urinates concentrated fear. It consumes only the souls of the living. Every step it takes causes thorns to rise from the earth, leaving behind only sorrow and misery in its wake.

I wish I didn't have class tomorrow.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

However, instead of having class, your school schedules little eight year old ghetto wannabe kids to run around and hit you with comically large wet fish.

I wish I could do the Moonwalk like MJ.

[anonymous92]

Granted.

Now, while moon walking in a boy's bathroom, you are mistaken for MJ and thrown into jail






because you were smoking illegal drugs. (wow you people have dirty minds) :laugh:

I wish I had the ability to control what the result of my wish becomes.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

But unfortunatetly, a tiny troll comes and kicks you in the groin and takes control back. He soon hurrys off to give it back to HCRealms, but is destracted as you trap it in a tube of pudding. Soon a Benny Hill-esque chase sequence unfolds but it ends with you losing control and a hand to scurvy.

I wish I had Thanos.

[JKLantern]

Granted. Sort of. You familiar with the Beatles' song "Norwegian Wood?" Thanos has YOU.

I wish it was a little bit warmer around here.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

It's a little bit warmer around your computer. And it'll probably overheat and blow up or something creepy like that.

I wish my college essay was written. And written well, dammit. Don't go for the easy one.

[JKLantern]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's the Optional One I submitted back when I was applying to WM, so it doesn't apply to you for numerous reasons.

I wish it was visiting my brother. Or sister. Either or.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You're visiting your brother.

At the cemetary.

Where he lives.

As a bum.

Who is dead.

I wish my burger was cooked for me just the way I like it.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

As you pick it up to eat it, fanatics from PETA rush in and brutally assault you for harming a "poor, defenceless creature". The guy who made it rushes out to save you, and as he pulls you from their grasp, he tells you that the burger that you were about to eat was not made from cows, but instead spiders and paperclips.

I wish that Freddy Mercury was not dead. I miss that guy :(

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. He is now a member of the Living Dead. Freddie Mercury feasts upon your brains.

I wish I had the ingredients for a good Chicago Style Deep Dish.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You have all the ingredients (Bread, sauce, cheese, etc.) but no oven to cook it.

I wish for an infinite supply of bubble gum.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

However, the gum is already pre-chewed.

I wish that I could mosh. Right Now. To some killer metal.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

A block of metal falls from the sky and breaks your foot. You never mosh again.

I wish the 3rd season of Avatar would start sooner. And don't use "It does, but it ends up sucking", because that's impossible.

[JKLantern]

It does. But all the TV's in the world simultaneously turn into killer Zombie Robots of doom. And you get eaten.

I wish I didn't have a test tomorrow morning.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Somehow, during the middle of the night, a band of paper hating Nazi robot ninja zombie terrorist janitors attacks your school. They kill all the paper in you school in horrible, painful, janitorial ways.

I wish I could read minds.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You read minds and brag about the ability. People are incredible annoyed by your blatant invasion of privacy and beat you up.

I wish I was a werewolf.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Neron comes out of the ground and you sell your soul to become a werewolf. However, you do not specify when you want to become one. So you only become one when you are alone. Have fun trying to bite people, because the moment you see another person, you change back into a man.

I wish that I was as fast as the wind.

[JKLantern]

Granted. You can move up to 100 MPH. You move the speed of smell. Congratulations. All other super-speedsters in history beat you in races, and have a hearty laugh at your expense.

I wish it was Friday.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

It's last friday.

I wish I were a pirate.

[JKLantern]

Granted.

It's last friday.

I wish I were a pirate.

Granted. As such, you also have NSU and syphillis.

I wish the band Jethro Tull was playing in the Sunken Garden right now.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Jethro Trull is playing Sunken Garden right now, but they are in Antarctica and are currently being eaten by St-Dumas and his band of disease ridden pirates.

I wish that I owned a tap dancing beaver

[JKLantern]

Granted. Unfortunately, you lose a leg in a freak accident with a PS3, and have it replaced with a wooden peg. Then, one day, as you're walking down the stairs, the beaver turns on you and attacks you with a Flamethrower!

I wish I had some Strawberry Pudding.

[TheNumberOfTheBeast]

Granted.

Your pockets are now full of Strawberry pudding. Enjoy.

I wish I lived in a yellow submarine.

[ClixerChase22]

You got your wish, only the sub-marine runs out of oxygen!












Then starts leaking too fast for you to go to the surface for air!












I wish I had buddies to play heroclix with.

[Amora's_best_friend]

Granted.

*Dies before he can reveal how the wish could be granted*

*turns out he was going to be one of the friends*

I wish I could sing.

[DocDoom187]

Granted

You can sing...like Britney Spears. You're teenie pop singing repulses Pashy so much he divorces you, and in grief, you kill yourself.

I wish I didn't have midterms.

[ClixerChase22]

Granted.

But you have finals in the place of midterms, and you haven't finished the course yet.

sigh.....i love reviving old threads....

I wish I was a clix figure of my own.

[michiganj24]

Granted you are now 2 inches high and a favorite playthings for dogs

I wish Tuttle would just break down and give us complete spoilers for Crisis and Nightmares to us all
Granted.

But you have finals in the place of midterms, and you haven't finished the course yet.

sigh.....i love reviving old threads....

I wish I was a clix figure of my own.

[goodman]

Granted

But you got Mordru instead of anyone really relevant

I wish i understood this thread before i broke it :(

[ClixerChase22]

Granted.

You do.

But since I don't understand what breaking a thread means, I kill you. But first I cut your fingers and toes off.



I wish I could play the harmonica with great ease.

[Darkseid Sr.]

Granted.

But now, your jaw breaks due to your over-playing.

I wish my wishes could never be corrupted...

[ClixerChase22]

Granted.

But others' can. So let's keep playing :).

I wish I was Tim The Tool Man Taylor.

[michiganj24]

Granted but the law of averages had to catch up to you eventually. A super charged buzzsaw jumped off a table slicing off both legs and your Little Timmy's.
I wish I Bruce Campbell would get the respect he deserves
Granted.

But others' can. So let's keep playing :).

I wish I was Tim The Tool Man Taylor.

[denhamkarl]

You do, but while filming Evil Dead III the chain on your Chainsaw breaks and you are slashed accross the face, making you a permanent cartoon character voice star.


I wish to have Super Strength!!!

[brevard321]

Granted, but your Super Strength is so powerful, you crush children and senior citizens to death when you try to hug them. Also, it is impossible for you to now make a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, as whenever you do, it becomes one big ball of mush in your super-strong ham-sized fists!


Oh, I wish for a sequel to the great Tom Cruise & Penelope Cruz movie, Vanilla Sky! :)

[loganspeedo]

Granted, but your Super Strength is so powerful, you crush children and senior citizens to death when you try to hug them. Also, it is impossible for you to now make a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, as whenever you do, it becomes one big ball of mush in your super-strong ham-sized fists!


Oh, I wish for a sequel to the great Tom Cruise & Penelope Cruz movie, Vanilla Sky! :)

Granted.

It was called Chocolate Sea and it grossed $50 million in the first weekend because of Tom Cruise, and then flopped, because of Tom Cruise. Two months later, it comes out on DVD with the deleted Penelope Cruz half-way porno scene which was the only reason to rent it to begin with. You're girlfriend finds it in your DVD player and absent-mindedly throws it behind her, sticking in your head and making you go to the emergancy room. Plus you owe $21.99 to replace the broken DVD to the video store.

I wish I could've dated Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.