The Corrupt-a-Wish Game

[jedah_s]

shamelessly ripped off from another mesage board...
it's the corrupt-a-wish game.
someone makes a wish, then you come up with a funny way that that person's wish backfires.
then you wish and then the game continues on endlessly (or for a page or so before everyone gets sick of it).

here's an example....

person #1, "i wish i was immortal."

person #2, "wish granted. you are incapable of dying, and spend the rest of eternity at the center of the sun in incredible agony.
i wish i had a puppy."

i'll get us started.

i wish i had a ham sandwich

[Rando]

You did, it is now in your stomach, the ham was quite old however and so now you have a stomach ache.

I wish everyone always at least felt emotionally content, or some other emotion or group of emotions that they considered better than content.

[The Qwardian]

Wish granted.

All humans now are content with there emotions. No one seeks love. marriage and birth rates plumet. in 100 years there will be no one left.


I wish I could go back in time and fix the mistakes I have made.

[Magnito]

Wish granted.

You go back to when you were a kid and try to change your mistake. When you do this, you change the future and all of your future actions are erassed. Now, since you have no future, you are doomed to relive your aganizing childhood.

I wish that there was a cure for every major illness in the world.

[tigerbonist]

Wish granted.

Your spelling error in your last post is not pointed out by an anal-retentive person and this causes a hole in the space time continuum since the anal-retentive person had to post this in order to inform you of the mistake. Uh-oh.

Good Job:p

[tigerbonist]

Originally posted by Magnito
Wish granted.

You go back to when you were a kid and try to change your mistake. When you do this, you change the future and all of your future actions are erassed. Now, since you have no future, you are doomed to relive your aganizing childhood.

I wish that there was a cure for every major illness in the world.

Wish granted.

Now everyone is dead from the ultimate disease, auto-immune responses that attack the body and cannot be cured. Since everyone is dead, no more posts can be posted on this thread.

I wish people would realize I'm trying to end this thread. :p

[jedah_s]

wish granted.

but your failure to post a wish in your first post negates your wish. you are attacked by a pack of rabid geese.

i wish for world peace.

[St-Dumas]

Granted. All weapons are destroyed. Our lack of defenses are observed by alien races, and we are forced into slavery by otherworldly beings.

I wish Invader Zim would come back for a fourth season.

[Gambit]

Wish Granted.

Invader Zim corrupts all the children in the world to kill their parents and in doing so ends the human civilization.

I wish Gambit would get his own movie and it scores big at the box office.

[St-Dumas]

Wish granted.

Gambit does so good with the box offices, all other movies don't make as much money. Lots of people lose their jobs, and the unemployment rate goes up. This is fun!

I wish my intelligence dwarfed that of the greatest of scientists (a.k.a. I wish is really friggen smart).

[Funky Jett]

Wish granted.

You are friggin smart. Unfortunately, no one else is. Consequently, all invention stops. No new medicines, no new technology, nothing... The Earth returns to the Dark Ages as no one remembers how to repair the existing technologies.

I wish I won the Powerball lottery

[MousePadMan]

Wish granted.

You won the Powerball lottery but your wife divorces you for half.

I wish that no one would ever backfire this wish.

:)

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted.

But after the Federal Government taxes the living daylights out of your winnings, you're left with a grand total of two cents.


Care to spend it?

I wish that there is going to be a Silver Sable LE.

[MousePadMan]

Originally posted by TKMandroid
Wish granted.

But after the Federal Government taxes the living daylights out of your winnings, you're left with a grand total of two cents.


Care to spend it?

I wish that there is going to be a Silver Sable LE.

Wish granted.

Silver Sable's le is horribly inaccurate and now the only LE in Mutant Mayhem.

I wish that no one can ever backfire this wish.

:)

[TKMandroid]

Originally posted by MousePadMan
I wish that no one can ever backfire this wish.

:)

Wish granted, however instead of backfire, someones hears the words fire back and does so.....:laugh:

[Gimpy]

Wish granted.

Your wish kills the thread and it is all your fault.

I wish i had a heart

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by MousePadMan
I wish that no one can ever backfire this wish.

:)

Wish granted. I couldn't decide on which outcome to use, so here they are:

1) No one backfires your wish. But, you made no wish. So, your other wishes do not come true and you exist in this violent rat hole we call a world.

2) No "one" counters the wish, but multiple people do. They counter the wish...and we go back to the latter part of outcome #1.

I wish they would finally come out with new episodes of Justice League Unlimited.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Gimpy
Wish granted.

Your wish kills the thread and it is all your fault.

I wish i had a heart

Granted.

You get two hearts. It disrupts your bodily functions. My last wish still stands.

[Funky Jett]

Originally posted by Gimpy
Wish granted.

Your wish kills the thread and it is all your fault.

I wish i had a heart
Wish granted.

Unfortunately, just like the heart the Wizard of Oz gave the Tin Man, your heart is nothing more than a heart-shaped watch. Your bodily functions cease and you soon die.

I wish I could read people's minds

[Funky Jett]

Originally posted by jedah_s
i wish i had a ham sandwich
The correct answer to this wish is...

Wish granted.

You're name is Mama Cass Elliot.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Funky Jett
Wish granted.

Unfortunately, just like the heart the Wizard of Oz gave the Tin Man, your heart is nothing more than a heart-shaped watch. Your bodily functions cease and you soon die.

I wish I could read people's minds

Wish granted.

You can read minds, but you don't know how to properly use it. So many thoughts flood into your head that you go insane.

[MousePadMan]

Originally posted by Funky Jett
Wish granted.

Unfortunately, just like the heart the Wizard of Oz gave the Tin Man, your heart is nothing more than a heart-shaped watch. Your bodily functions cease and you soon die.

I wish I could read people's minds

Granted.

You find out everyone secretly hates your guts and is planning to kill you.

I wish I didn't make a wish.

[St-Dumas]

You don't make a wish. Nothing happens. You die. The end. Sorry, I'm just not feeling creative.

[MousePadMan]

Me niether, did ya notice by my wishes?:laugh:

[St-Dumas]

I still wish for new episodes of JLU.

[doctorfate77]

I wish I were straight.

[St-Dumas]

Granted. You're straight, and you can never bend over. You lead a carpy existence due to your severe lack of motion.

I still wish for new episodes of Justice League Unlimited.

[The Qwardian]

Wish granted.

A Paver rolls over you and makes you straight. But also flat. and you kinda die.;)

[MousePadMan]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Granted. You're straight, and you can never bend over. You lead a carpy existence due to your severe lack of motion.

I still wish for new episodes of Justice League Unlimited.

Wish not granted.

:devious:

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by MousePadMan
Wish not granted.

:devious:

Dude. Sereously, screw up my wish. I wanna see some creativity.

[Thanos thrall]

Originally posted by St-Dumas


I still wish for new episodes of Justice League Unlimited.

Wish Granted.

Just as a new movement against Violence on TV is erupting, New JLU episodes come out. The new Episodes are deemed too violent, the show is cancelled, and outraged parents sue DC, making them Go Bankrupt. Marvel now rules the world.

I wish I were ruler of the World.

[kitsunekaboom]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Granted. You're straight, and you can never bend over. You lead a carpy existence due to your severe lack of motion.

I still wish for new episodes of Justice League Unlimited.

Wish granted, but in every episode it's just Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, and Ch'pp.

[kitsunekaboom]

Erhm yea, a wish. I wish Alpha Flight had a team ability! :D

[Prof. Aragorn]

Wish granted

but the Alpha Flight TA is overcosted and useless making your favorite figures unplayable. You now #### at life.

I wish to be able to click on Sandra's and Qward's avatars-dammit, I need me Sandra fix!

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, clicking on it still causes nothing to happen.

I wish everyone a Unique in every booster.

[Prof. Aragorn]

Wish granted, now no one will ever have the joy of getting a 3-4-5. Additionally, the unique prices go down and they are unwanted.

I wish Dr. Strange, Psylocke, and Dr. Doom weren't retired.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. However new rules will be in place -- once a "retired" figure is KO'd, it must be set ablaze.:confused:

I wish to see no more Indy threads (of any kind) until WizKids makes the announcement of a new set.

[Prof. Aragorn]

Wish granted, but the new Indy set sucks, too and people start posting on that Indy Thread annoying you to death.

I wish pirates and ninjas would get along.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. They are now united with only one goal -- killing mimes.:confused: Wait, that might be a good thing.

I wish to see all Con Artists "retired."

[Prof. Aragorn]

Wish granted.

You've just ruined everyone's weekend and they will now commence your lynching.

I wish for every single Spider-man from the Mutant Mayhem set.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. Now all of the completists are stealing them and selling them on eBay.

REVs for $50.

Masterpiece Spider-Man for $2500.

Power gamers will be able to afford it, as Spider-Man is the game-breaking figure that's capable of winning every game.

Except for Galactus.....

I wish for WizKids to make their dice more useful than for target practice.

[turdburglar47]

Wish granted. Now they're living beings that help do the dishes sometime, but also eat all your clothes, engage in horseplay near the pool area, and are better at satisfying your girlfriend than you are.

I wish more people liked the Hulk movie.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. People actually like the Hulk movie, but only on DVD format because they make great coasters for the coffee table.

Soon, I'm going to wish everyone a good night, or day -- wherever you are.

[Manchine]

Originally posted by TKMandroid
Wish granted. People actually like the Hulk movie, but only on DVD format because they make great coasters for the coffee table.

Soon, I'm going to wish everyone a good night, or day -- wherever you are.


Wish great. This is the best night or day everyone has had. Of course from now on everyone compares this day (Renamed Good Night or Day) to any other day. Which makes everyone depressed and suicidal. The whole world goes into anarchy because 90% of the people has commented Suicide.

Lets get a real wish. I wish everyone would do exactly what I say. (Perverted Thoughts hehehe)

[Rando]

Granted, unfortunantly you are part of "everyone" and so anything you tell anyone to do you must do also. Chaos quickly ensues as you command someone to do something and everyone on the planet suddenly is compeled to drop what they are doing to obey your order.

I wish I had the power to grant myself and other wishes as I saw fit.

[donnie72191]

Originally posted by St-Dumas

I wish Invader Zim would come back for a fourth season.

hellz yeah biotch! :cheeky:

[jedah_s]

Originally posted by Rando
Granted, unfortunantly you are part of "everyone" and so anything you tell anyone to do you must do also. Chaos quickly ensues as you command someone to do something and everyone on the planet suddenly is compeled to drop what they are doing to obey your order.

I wish I had the power to grant myself and other wishes as I saw fit.

wish granted.
but the first person you have to grant a wish to says, "i wish i had that power instead of you."

i wish i had x-ray vision

[Wolverine_Hulk]

Wish Granted
Though when you first get your powers you look at a very harry person and you see them....You get the point





I wish Bill Gates would donate more money to charity

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Prof. Aragorn
I wish pirates and ninjas would get along.

Wish granted.

As the ninjas and pirates are making out, the vikings come in and horribly slaughter them all.

[Magnito]

Originally posted by Wolverine_Hulk
Wish Granted
Though when you first get your powers you look at a very harry person and you see them....You get the point





I wish Bill Gates would donate more money to charity
Wish Granted, he sells microsoft to get more money for charity. the person who buys it is a greedy sob and makes computers so expensive no one can afford one. As a result, there are no more tecnological advances...EVER.

I wish I was the leader of my own country.

[The Qwardian]

wisdh granted, unfortunatley ther only people in your country are vikings. The only thing smaller than the national IQ is the sperm count. your country imports porno and viagra. it exports Body odour. No one visits your country every begins to incest (even more than normal). Needless to say your country stinks.


I wish Vikings werent so lame.

[Pfligman]

Wish granted.
Vikings become overpowerful and all incompassing. Now all the worlds bodies of waters are referred to as Fjord's and anyone on a ship anywhere in the world becomes unable to tell the difference and start sinking left and right. The head Viking decides to collect all the ships for himself and his final act as a ruler is to have all his men drink all the worlds water. Days later everything else dies of dehydration leaving only vikings to rule.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[EmperorNorton]

Wish granted.
Homer Simpson eats you.

I wish I could share the rest of my life with Christina Ricci.

[Poring]

Wish granted

Since you are busy sharing your life with Christina, you have no time for family, friends, or Heroclix (NOOO!) then you die miserable but not lonely ;)

I wish I could do everything Batman can do!

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by Gimpy
Wish granted.

Your wish kills the thread and it is all your fault.

I wish i had a heart

Poof, you get a heart. You are arrested for the brutal slaying and your possession of the heart is the evidence that gets you the chair

I wish that I answered this earlier

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by Poring
Wish granted

Since you are busy sharing your life with Christina, you have no time for family, friends, or Heroclix (NOOO!) then you die miserable but not lonely ;)

I wish I could do everything Batman can do!

Wish granted

You are now 2 dimensional

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by Pfligman
Wish granted.
Vikings become overpowerful and all incompassing. Now all the worlds bodies of waters are referred to as Fjord's and anyone on a ship anywhere in the world becomes unable to tell the difference and start sinking left and right. The head Viking decides to collect all the ships for himself and his final act as a ruler is to have all his men drink all the worlds water. Days later everything else dies of dehydration leaving only vikings to rule.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Wish granted

Everyone loves you. Sadly you are eaten and turned into poo eight hours later

[Socko]

Originally posted by BigSoph
Poof, you get a heart. You are arrested for the brutal slaying and your possession of the heart is the evidence that gets you the chair

I wish that I answered this earlier


WishGranted, you have a time machine. you go back and announce that i Granted. You go back in time and say your post first. it was successful. You decide to go into the future. You are digusted and terrified of it. You committ suicide, Hiding the time machine in the Precambrian era, forever hiding the threat of human maddness to ever be encountered again... A few years(give or take a few;) ) later a confused paleontologist named Steven Speilberg finds the time machine. He discovers how to use it. He uses it to go back and be succesfull as a Hollywood Director. He uses the information obtained to make films such as dinosaur movies, a movie in the future where their are freakin robots everywhere, tales of war, and the true story of the alien spy E.T. sent to earth in the future to obtain vital information ultimately leading to the slavery of human kind.


Anyway, My wish is that I had a Les Paul and a Mile x Mile tall and wide amplifier. And That I can rock out on top of it while everyone goes deaf from my sweet riffs. Dont worry, They Get enough Jam before they do go deaf... (My real wish is that I would stop laughing from that mama cass and ham sandwhich remark... It hurts. Bad.)

[Socko]

Originally posted by Socko
...WishGranted, you have a time machine. You go back in time and say your post first...


This is how it should read... Sorry.

[Socko]

Originally posted by Socko
... later a confused paleontologist named Steven Speilberg finds the time machine. He discovers how to use it. He uses it to go back and be succesfull as a Hollywood Director. He uses the information obtained to make films such as dinosaur movies, a movie in the future where their are freakin robots everywhere, tales of war, and the true story of the alien spy E.T. sent to earth in the future to obtain vital information ultimately leading to the slavery of human kind....


Also, Steven doesnt go sadistic and crazy. He was already like that. He just gets rich. Really, Really ####ing rich.

[St-Dumas]

...lets get things rolling again.

I wish I had the "Back to the Future" trilogy on DVD.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
...lets get things rolling again.

I wish I had the "Back to the Future" trilogy on DVD.
Wish granted. Unfortunately, it's just a pile of low quality VHS copies from television broadcasts sitting on top of a blank DVD.

I wish for more wishes.

[St-Dumas]

Wish granted.

You get another wish, which you waste wishing that your next wish can't be corrupted.

I wish I wish I were a fish.

[Socko]

Your wish is granted. every possible thing has come to you.


everything. here let me make it bold for you:

EVERYTHING

I wish people would all smoke a little bit of pot so we could lighten up a bit. everyone is all fighting man.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Wish granted.

You get another wish, which you waste wishing that your next wish can't be corrupted.

I wish I wish I were a fish.

Wish granted

You spend your days pining for the lake and then, finally in a fit of desperation brought on by friends mocking your use of the phrase "finny friends", you plunge in to the lake and try to breath. Your wish to wish results in your drowning

I wish I would win the 6-49 lottery (Canadian, please. I hate paying taxes on winnings)

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by Socko

I wish people would all smoke a little bit of pot so we could lighten up a bit. everyone is all fighting man.

Wish granted. Everyone smokes a little bit of pot and fall asleep. When they drop the doobie, they light their bedsheets on fire. Millions of wasteheads are horribly burned. On their plus column, they do have access to medical marijuana!

I wish all marijuana and coca plants vanished!

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Socko
I wish people would all smoke a little bit of pot so we could lighten up a bit. everyone is all fighting man.

Wish granted.

We smoke pot. All we do is sit around reflecting on our smoking pot. Everyone gets addicted. Soon the supply runs out and we all go crazy due to our addiction.

I wish I knew whatever happened to Saturday night.

[Funky Jett]

Originally posted by BigSoph
I wish all marijuana and coca plants vanished!
Wish granted

With no more illegal products, the drug dealers turn to legal medicines to sell via black market. Prescription medicine prices skyrocket and eventually become illegal too. Many people die as a result.

I wish I knew how to drive a motorcycle.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by Socko I wish people would all smoke a little bit of pot so we could lighten up a bit. everyone is all fighting man. [/B]
Originally posted by BigSoph
I wish I would win the 6-49 lottery (Canadian, please. I hate paying taxes on winnings)

BOth wishes are granted. Unfortunately, as a result of everyone smoking pot, there is a shortage, and people start violent, blood filled gang wars over the remaining stock. BigSoph, after smoking her wish alloted share, forgets where she put the winning ticket.

I wish for a giant robot to step on my workplace while I was at home playing video games.

[Socko]

wish granted.

everyone on earth ends up like the movie equilibrium.



(thanks a lot)


I wish downers like soph didnt down on people all the time. downer.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I wish I knew whatever happened to Saturday night.

Wish granted. Here are the photos of you in a compromising situation with the neighbour's dog. Stop drinking. Seriously.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Funky Jett
I wish I knew how to drive a motorcycle.

Wish granted.

You know how to ride a motorcycle. You spend all your money on a motorcycle, tune-ups, paint jobs, etc. You are now bankrupt.

I wish I knew what I wanted to wish for.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by Socko
wish granted.

everyone on earth ends up like the movie equilibrium.



(thanks a lot)


I wish downers like soph didnt down on people all the time. downer.

Er... everyone in Equilibrium was like that because they were taking drugs, not because there weren't any drugs.

I wish that nobody believed that recreational chemicals were necessary for a good time, and that everyone also believed that some recreational chemicals some of the time aren't necessarily a bad thing, and that I was a 7 feet tall and could shoot lasers out of my eyes, and that I had like a million hot girlfriends and could fly and that my pants were on fire. That's what I wish.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish for a giant robot to step on my workplace while I was at home playing video games.

Wish granted.

The robot has your name written on it in large letters. Everyone knows you caused this and riot outside your house and burn it down...and you accidentaly scratch your video game disk.

[Socko]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Er... everyone in Equilibrium was like that because they were taking drugs, not because there weren't any drugs.



Well, yeah, duh...


Im saying we would all be like that. no feelings whatsoever. oh well.

[St-Dumas]

I still wish I knew what I wanted to wish for.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I still wish I knew what I wanted to wish for.

Wish granted. You now know what you want to wish for. Unfortunately, you just used your wish.

I wish I had a soda.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by Socko
Well, yeah, duh...


Im saying we would all be like that. no feelings whatsoever. oh well.

But drugs caused the lack of emotions. You're implying that a lack of drugs will cause the same thing. You're not making any sense. Must be the drugs.;)

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish I had a soda.

Granted.

You now have a soda. It is Diet, it it flat, and it is shooken up so that when you open it, it sprays in your face. It also has a bug in it, which crawls up your nose and into your brain, where it lays its eggs and kills you.

I wish I could reverse my own death.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Granted.

You now have a soda. It is Diet, it it flat, and it is shooken up so that when you open it, it sprays in your face. It also has a bug in it, which crawls up your nose and into your brain, where it lays its eggs and kills you.

I wish I could reverse my own death.

That's one magic soda - flat and it blows up in my face, too. Stupid Genie.

Wish granted. You reverse your own death - since you were alive when you made the wish, you are now dead.

[St-Dumas]

OK.

I wish you all a Happy and Joyful (Insert winter holiday here). :)

[oseefus1]

granted we are all so happpy and joyful you get sick of it and die

I wish my wish wont backfire and go bad

[St-Dumas]

Already been made.

I wish for a back rub.

[hail_eris]

Wish Granted.

Your wish does nothing. Or does it? You spend the rest of your days in a nervous, hypertensive ball, waiting for the doom that never comes. In the end, it doesn't matter - the stress of anticipation does you in as fast as a perverted wish would have.

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by oseefus1
I wish you all a Happy and Joyful (Insert winter holiday here).
granted we are all so happpy and joyful you get sick of it and die

I wish my wish wont backfire and go bad

Missed the obvious on your response - "Granted. One person's idea of a joyful holiday is for Armageddon to start at day's end."

As for your wish - Granted. Your wish grants you nothing, and you forget you made the wish so that you don't regret the choice.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Already been made.

I wish for a back rub.

Wish granted. You're back is rubbed by a 300 pound plumber named Irving, until you start crying, which turns him on.

I wish a didn't have that mental image stuck in my head right now.

[de4dp00l]

Also, I wish I hadn't typed you're when I meant your.

[oseefus1]

the image gets erased along with your hole memory

i wish i could get comfy
shoes

[turdburglar47]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. You're back is rubbed by a 300 pound plumber named Irving, until you start crying, which turns him on.

I wish a didn't have that mental image stuck in my head right now.


Wish granted. Now you have the mental image of Wolverine in a sheer nightgown making a circle with one hand and popping his claw in and out of it with his other hand. And giving you the waggly-eyebrows and that come-hither look that only he can give. Plus he smells like wet dog.


I wish I could get them to give Deadpool his own book again and let me ignore Cable again, like I did in the before time, when I was happy.

[oseefus1]

they do and they all cry
i wish i could get comfy
shoes

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by turdburglar47
I wish I could get them to give Deadpool his own book again and let me ignore Cable again, like I did in the before time, when I was happy.

Wish granted. And nothing bad happens. (I wish for that, too).

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by oseefus1
they do and they all cry
i wish i could get comfy
shoes

Wish granted - your mother sells her hair to a wig maker to buy you the most comfy shoes in the world, but in an incredibly ironic twist of fate, you sell your feet to a pickler to buy your mother an ivory hair comb.

I wish that story wasn't so one-sided. Hair grows back, O. Henry, but watches don't.

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. You reverse your own death - since you were alive when you made the wish, you are now dead.

Close, but a bit too much interpretation (reversing one's death isn't the same as reversing one's state of being alive).

The best wish corruptions are absolutely true and literal to the wording of the wish (no contradictions with the stated wish, no excessive additions above and beyond what the wish stated).

"Granted. At the end of your death, the process then reverses to the last point of life before you started dying. After suffering through your death in reverse your body, of course, then starts to die again. The cycle repeats endlessly, locking you in the torment of death and denying you an afterlife."

[de4dp00l]

I wish you weren't such a fuddy duddy. And that you hadn't watched Wishmaster too many times. And I still wish I had a soda.

[oseefus1]

sgranted the story is two sided and you hate it
i wish i my head could clap

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by oseefus1
i wish i could get comfy shoes

(poor man, never heard of the experiment where they wired up the pleasure center of a monkey's brain to a button in his cage).

Granted. You get a pair of comfortable shoes. So comfortable, in fact, that you refuse to take them off. Or even move around in them, and thus possibly reduce the exquisite state of comfort. You slowly starve to death on your couch, in a state of foot comfort bliss.

[antedoX]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted - your mother sells her hair to a wig maker to buy you the most comfy shoes in the world, but in an incredibly ironic twist of fate, you sell your feet to a pickler to buy your mother an ivory hair comb.

I wish that story wasn't so one-sided. Hair grows back, O. Henry, but watches don't.


granted. but in the time it took for you to think up a less one-sided story, you missed a bit of trivial knowledge on television which in turn becomes the question of final jeopardy in you first and last appearance on the show.

i wish keanu reeves could act.

[antedoX]

Originally posted by oseefus1
sgranted the story is two sided and you hate it
i wish i my head could clap

Granted. And you destroy your skull and all its inner workings by accident in the ensuing excitement.

I wish Keanu Reeves could act.

[Socko]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
But drugs caused the lack of emotions. You're implying that a lack of drugs will cause the same thing. You're not making any sense. Must be the drugs.;)


uhh....



:noid:

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish you weren't such a fuddy duddy. And that you hadn't watched Wishmaster too many times. And I still wish I had a soda.

I wish you got that second wish. Watched the first two once, only because I was so bored I'd actually left the TV on the Sci-Fi channel when they played those pieces of garbage. Obviously the writer had never read "The Monkey's Paw", which was so brilliantly horrifying because it was so strict, literal, and minimalistic. The convoluted junk the Wishmaster writer tossed into the scripts as corruptions of wish intent were simply absurd. "The Monkey's Paw" is a classic that makes you twitch days latter. "Wishmaster" is a less than classic that makes you wish the MST3K crew was on hand for commentary.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by antedoX
I wish Keanu Reeves could act.

Granted. Keanu Reeves can act like an ###hole. Now he is a lousy performer and all of Hollywood hates him.

I wish Adam Sandler would stop making bad movies and go back to making good ones.

[supergoblin]

Wish granted
But anyone who stars in a movie with him looses there abilitie to act.

I wish the bill gates was poor and destitute, and I had all his money.

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by antedoX
I wish Keanu Reeves could act.

Granted. Keanu Reeves becomes the world's greatest thespian, in demand by studios world wide. But the quality of the scripts he chooses does not improve. Soon Reeves is making guest appearances on every major TV sit-com, cop drama, talk show, nature documentary, home improvement program, reality show, sports commentaries, even tampon commercials. Every auto parts store, investment firm, clothing retailer, and fast food franchise pays to plaster his image on their promotional ads. To save money his name is permanently etched into the marquees of movie theaters. Finally he spearheads a $200 million remake of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure staring Glen Close, Gwyneth Paltrow, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Johnny Depp, Michael Caine, and Jack Nicholson. Directed by Oliver Stone, produced by Hans Brockmann, written by Paris Hilton.

[Socko]

Originally posted by supergoblin
Wish granted
But anyone who stars in a movie with him looses there abilitie to act.

I wish the bill gates was poor and destitute, and I had all his money.



Wish granted.


But, you know, Genie Fees are a ##### these days.

Lets see thats gonna be...

:ermm: :cheeky:

Yeah, Thats all mine.

And You owe me a bit but your ####ation in Genie Purgatory will haunt you for the rest of your days.

I wish I could Find an eye patch for my dog Uno, cause he was born with one eye.

Itd make labs even cooler than what they are, and thats pretty extreme.

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by supergoblin
I wish the bill gates was poor and destitute, and I had all his money.

Granted. In a twist of the legal system, a lawsuit stemming from a computer virus that wipes out your home computer results in a multi-billion dollar judgment in your favor. You selflessly spend huge sums of the money helping the less fortunate. At a congratulatory event in your honor, shaking hands with scores of people you've helped, you unrecognizingly reach out your hand into the crowd to the once destitute Bill Gates. Bitter at being poor and having to accept your help to get off the streets, he empties a half clip from a Beretta 9mm at close range into your chest.

[Socko]

And a pie in the face to boot.:ermm:

[Marshal Law]

Originally posted by Socko
I wish I could Find an eye patch for my dog Uno, cause he was born with one eye.

(bringing up one's pet in this thread - now that takes guts)

Granted. You find a snug fitting eye patch, which looks stylish and your dog doesn't mind at all wearing. But the strap chaffs at his forehead, causing an infection that blinds him in his remaining eye.

[Socko]

You forgot he gets rabies and goes ape #### on everybody, biting off right nuts everywhere.

Everyone who posted on this thread is somewhat neutered by this feisty foamy formiddable pup.

Marshal Law is fully neutered.

That chafing truly is a #####.

[St-Dumas]

Back on track again. I wish I had a golden toilet seat.

[MousePadMan]

Wish Granted

Your golden toliet seat is very uncomfortable and has super-glue on the top, you don't find this out until you sit down.

I wish that I was a Superhero like Spiderman.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

Like Spider-man, you're an orphan with your aunt in the hospitol, you're a dork, and the public hates you. They hate you so much, they riot outside your dirt poor house and burn it to the ground.

I wish I could break dance like a professional.

[turdburglar47]

Wish granted. Your dancing is so awful you have broken the art of dance for eternity, and Ice-T then shows up to take one of your kidneys.

I wish that Gambit had never existed.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You have created an alternate reality in which Gambit never existed. Thus, you never make the wish. Thus, we go back to this reality in which you don't make the wish and suffer through knowing him.

I wish my NCSoft account was free.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. However, because your account is now free, there is no one on staff to keep the games running. Complete anarchy ensues until a maintainance worker mercifully pulls the plug, before heading to the unemployment line.

I wish that it was release day for Mutant Mayhem already.:)

[St-Dumas]

Wish granted.

Mutant Mayhem comes out. People mutate into hideous beings, and cause chaos all over the world.

[TKMandroid]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Mutant Mayhem comes out. People mutate into hideous beings, and cause chaos all over the world.

KEWL!!!!!!!!!!! Got my Goblin Queen already, now all I need to complete this "Inferno" scenario is N'Astirh. Then let the hallucinating begin.:laugh:

Now St-Dumas, you forgot to make your wish.

[BadAxe1]

Originally posted by TKMandroid
Wish granted. However, because your account is now free, there is no one on staff to keep the games running. Complete anarchy ensues until a maintainance worker mercifully pulls the plug, before heading to the unemployment line.

I wish that it was release day for Mutant Mayhem already.:)


Wish granted, but an unexpected result of my rearranging the whole space/time continuim to suit your petty wants is that Stan Lee dies of pneumonia when he's only ten years old. This creates a new reality in which there is never a Marvel Comics Group to begin with, and thus no Mutant Mayhem.



I wish this had not happened because I really like Spiderman.

[St-Dumas]

I wish I didn't have Attention Defacit Disorder...ooh whats that?
*Wanders off following butterfly.

[TKMandroid]

Wish granted. Stan Lee is still here. Spider-Man is still being read, and now you regret making my wish come true and realize that you should never mess with Doctor Doom's time traveling devices.

I wish that I knew what to wish for, even if it does go terribly wrong.:laugh:

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by TKMandroid
I wish that I knew what to wish for, even if it does go terribly wrong.:laugh:

I already made that wish. BE MORE CREATIVE!!!

[BadAxe1]

Granted, and in knowing what to wish you realize that I should have complete control of Dr. Dooms devices and powers. I soon take over the world and call the whole planet New Latveria.



I wish that New Latveria was'nt at war with the Shiar Empire because Gladiator's a real pain in the butt.

[TKMandroid]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I wish I didn't have Attention Defacit Disorder...ooh whats that?
*Wanders off following butterfly.

Wish granted. You actually remembered a previous wish. Unfortunately, you're not interested in that butterfly anymore.

I wish Todd McFaralane would allow a reasonably costed Spawn clix figure to be made.

[TKMandroid]

Originally posted by BadAxe1
I wish that New Latveria was'nt at war with the Shiar Empire because Gladiator's a real pain in the butt.

Wish granted. Unfortunately for you, New Latveria lost the war, and is now the New Capitol of the Shi'ar Empire.

I wish WizKids would make some more new maps.

[DeonBeast]

Wish granted.

Unfortunately they are all quarter segments of the quarter segments that are Universe maps.

I wish that my wish will not corrupt.

:p

[Pfligman]

Granted your wish is not corrupt but you are and it creates a black hole that only inhales gerbils.

I wish I would've gone bowling with those Oompa Loompas

[turdburglar47]

Wish Granted. They beat the pants off of you, and while you're pantsless in a bowling alley, they cram fizzy lifting drinks where the sun don't shine.

I wish there was something we could do about mildew.

[supergoblin]

wish granted

The human race now survives only on mildew.

I wish bill gates and microsoft never existed.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by supergoblin
wish granted

The human race now survives only on mildew.

I wish bill gates and microsoft never existed.

Computers never become accessible and cheap and mac users, who are either freaks or rich, lord it over the "unwashed masses"
Then a Bill Gates appears from an alternate universe where he was impoverished and pops a cap in your ### too

I wish people understood how the economy really works and made decisions based on their real best interests not on what some media star tells them it is. (WOW! I have never seen a genie melt before!)

I wish there was a three lane highway to Papua New Guinea from Chicago

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, all two lanes are closed for construction and maintenance, and the third lane is closed while police try to resolve a 14 car pile-up caused by a chicken with a road-traversing fixation.

I wish that someone would trade me an LE Rupert.

[supergoblin]

Wish granted

Unfortinatly they also mail you anthrax with it and you die a horribly death.

I wish bill gates would stop killing me.

[Kid Zero]

Wish granted: Bill Gates finishes you off.

I wish I had a better job.

[supergoblin]

Wish Granted

Unfornatily your house burns down, all your close friends and relatives died and your dog runs away. ALl you have left is the better job.

I wish bill gates was dead. (Gee, am I obsessed with bill gates?)

[de4dp00l]

Wish granted. I just killed him.

I wish Supergoblin would stop making wishes about Bill Gates.

[supergoblin]

Wish granted

I wish that richard simons becomes the president of the United states.

[de4dp00l]

Wish granted. The backfire pretty much takes care of itself on that one.

I wish that something horrible would happen to me.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by supergoblin
Wish Granted

Unfornatily your house burns down, all your close friends and relatives died and your dog runs away. ALl you have left is the better job.

I wish bill gates was dead. (Gee, am I obsessed with bill gates?)

Bill Gates WAS dead. Then an evil cult of Windows Worshippers reanimated his corpse. An undead Bill Gates bites you and now you too are a zombie. YOu spend your days in front of a computer, entering information into the Book of the ####ed!

I wish I could

[crownroyal578]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. The backfire pretty much takes care of itself on that one.

I wish that something horrible would happen to me.


Wish Granted.
You are hit by a delivery truck. You sue the carp out of the company that owns the truck and then live the rest of your life as a quadriplegic millionaire. (Hey, corrupting a bad wish means I had to throw SOME good in there...)

I wish Starbucks wasn't so #### expensive.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. The backfire pretty much takes care of itself on that one.

I wish that something horrible would happen to me.

Wish granted

You wake up to find your bed full of dead puppies. But, since this is supposed to backfire, their bodily fluids doused the cigarette you fell asleep with in your hand

[freakazoid_x]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. The backfire pretty much takes care of itself on that one.

I wish that something horrible would happen to me.

Wish granted, a ball of fire hits you in the head, however since if you weren't standing there it would have hit a group of orphans, people thing that you threw yourself out there as a hero. Then they would assume you like fire. So society would reward you by lighting you on fire every day for the rest of your life while chanting your name and tending to your every desire.

Your every desire? Aloe.

I wish I could freeze and unfreeze as I chose and be the only person who could move around and do stuff while time was frozen.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by BigSoph
I wish I could

Wish granted. You can, but you won't because it's just to ####ed much work.

I wish that I knew what the first guy was thinking when he started drinking the white stuff that comes out of the bottom of cows.

[crownroyal578]

Originally posted by freakazoid_x
I wish I could freeze and unfreeze as I chose and be the only person who could move around and do stuff while time was frozen.

Wish Granted

You spend so much time with the world in a frozen state that, from everyone else's perception, you age at an increased rate. You die prematurely 3 years from now.

I wish that Todd McFarlane wasn't such a tightwad about his characters and would let us have a Spawn fig.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by freakazoid_x

I wish I could freeze and unfreeze as I chose and be the only person who could move around and do stuff while time was frozen.

Wish Granted

The first time you freeze a kid bumps into you and shatters you into a million pieces. On the plus side as long as you stay frozen you are alive

If you mean freeze and unfreeze time you just gotta know that sooner or later you will smash the watch that lets you do it. On the pus side, you get to meet Rod Serling

I wish that no one would grant me my fondest wish

[Basil Elks]

Wish granted

Now Todd's not as much of a tight wad, he still is one, though, just not as much.

I wish I knew exactly where the monkey fit in.

[crownroyal578]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish that I knew what the first guy was thinking when he started drinking the white stuff that comes out of the bottom of cows.

Wish Granted

The disturbing nature of this knowledge drives you insane. You spend the remainder of your days in a padded room, dribbling on yourself.

I wish for a bug-free OS for my computer

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by crownroyal578
Wish Granted

You spend so much time with the world in a frozen state that, from everyone else's perception, you age at an increased rate. You die prematurely 3 years from now.

I wish that Todd McFarlane wasn't such a tightwad about his characters and would let us have a Spawn fig.

Great...just great. You melted another freakin' genie!

C'mon, those things don't grow on trees!

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by crownroyal578
Wish Granted

The disturbing nature of this knowledge drives you insane. You spend the remainder of your days in a padded room, dribbling on yourself.

I wish for a bug-free OS for my computer

Wish Granted

Your computer generates 1 random insect every 10 seconds while in use. This consumes no extra power, nor are you required to send anyone money

[supergoblin]

Originally posted by crownroyal578
Wish Granted

The disturbing nature of this knowledge drives you insane. You spend the remainder of your days in a padded room, dribbling on yourself.

I wish for a bug-free OS for my computer

wish granted

Unfornatily the os is so unpopular that no one rights any programs for it.

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by BigSoph
I wish that no one would grant me my fondest wish

Wish granted. Your fondest wish goes to your next door neighbor, who, not knowing what to do with it, kills it and has the stuffed head mounted over the fireplace.

[St-Dumas]

I wish I knew how to disarm bombs.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I wish I knew how to disarm bombs.

Wish granted

You buy a case of Power Bomb (the ULTIMATE Heroclix expansion) and not one figure has arms
You know it happened because the Chinese workers who made them are angry with Westerners buying stupid pieces of plastic

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I wish I knew how to disarm bombs.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, the legs still get you.

I wish that people weren't so worried about that whole eco-system thing-a-mabob, so we could just DDT all the spiders and bugs (and bald eagles, but they're just collateral damage)>

[supergoblin]

Wish granted

Unfortanitly the laxing restrictoins on poaching wipes out the elephants. As a result disney makes Dumbo 2: extinction, wich becomes inarguably the worst movie ever. serval thousand people die of boredom watching it.

I wish for a fish.

[TheGuardian]

Wish granted.

Fish turns out to be a shark and he bites off your head.

I wish I had Superman's powers.

[supergoblin]

wish grant

you gain superman's powers but lose your mind you now have the mental capcity of a turnip.


I wish I was GOD.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You have Superman's powers.You hug your mom and kill her. You look at yourself in the mirror and shoot a hole through with heat vision. You fly into space but forget to hold your breath and die.

I wish I knew what the did in the girls locker room:grin:

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by supergoblin
wish grant

you gain superman's powers but lose your mind you now have the mental capcity of a turnip.


I wish I was GOD.

Wish granted. God retires, you are the new god. After a day of listening to over 6 billion people complaining about your creation, cursing your name, and praying for their particular sports team to win, you go crazy. Well, crazier.

I wish superheroes were real.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by supergoblin
I wish I was GOD.

Granted.

You're the big guy. The other big guy comes and smites you for what you've done. You spend the rest of your life in eternal hellfire.

[TheGuardian]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish superheroes were real.
Wish Granted

Superheroes become real and realizing their in a different universe where their villains aren't there they take out all of our "normal" problems. Our armies shut down, we give up on what we can do and let them take care of everything. We become potatoes as they rule.

I wish I could post all day!:)

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
I wish superheroes were real.

Granted.

Superheroes are real. They break everything as they "save the universe" for problems that can be stopped by the police.

[jedah_s]

i just wanted to say thanks to everyone for playing along with the thread.
i never thought it'd get past 3 pages.

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by TheGuardian
I wish I could post all day!:)

Granted.

You're fired from your job, your girlfriend/wife leaves you and takes the kid(s), your video games and TV break, and your phone line gets disconnected, just so you can post all day.

I wish I could see what's going on in the girls locker room :grin: .

[TheGuardian]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
I wish I could see what's going on in the girls locker room :grin: .

Granted.

You see what is happening in the girl's locker room but that is now all you can see. After watching the locker room for years you become dissatisfied with the opposite gender and start wishing to see what is happening in the boys locker room :confused:

I wish I had my own house and a successful job to start my own life.

[supergoblin]

wish granted

But shortly afterwards you die of a heart atack

I wish I could unterstand what shaquil o'neil says.

[crownroyal578]

Originally posted by supergoblin

I wish I could unterstand what shaquil o'neil says.

Wish Granted.

You become infatuated with Shaq's verbage. You become addicted to the movie "Steel". All your friends desert you. You die alone

I wish I got more paid vacation time. (Seriously)

[supergoblin]

wish granted

You get fired from your job now all your time is payed vacation only the pay is nothing.

I wish that the part of being adicted to the movie steel wasn't already true. (I love that movie, I was hoping for a seqaul.)

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

You broke the habit by becoming addicted to reruns of "I Love Lucy".


I wish I could pull a "Chilren of the Atom" from my next VS booster

[crownroyal578]

Originally posted by gdaybloke

I wish I could pull a "Chilren of the Atom" from my next VS booster

Wish Granted.

However, your misprinted "Chilren of the Atom" card is deemed illegal for tournament play. You are forced to trade the card in for $0.10 of store credit.

I wish HCRealms would put up another incentive for donating.

[discombobulous]

Originally posted by crownroyal578
Wish Granted.

However, your misprinted "Chilren of the Atom" card is deemed illegal for tournament play. You are forced to trade the card in for $0.10 of store credit.

I wish HCRealms would put up another incentive for donating.


Granted!


After donating, a large man with no neck named Tony Two Thumbs beats the ever loving snot out of you and burns down your house.


I wish I had a cheeseburger.

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

Your cheeseburger is riddled with harmful bacteria, and you end up with a horrid case of encephalitis.

I wish I could win a game of clix using Mole Man.

[Pfligman]

Wish Granted.
Thugit shows up only with C-note and it's a 100 point game, you win by forfiet but then the venue burns down and everyone dies except for you leaving you no bragging rights.

I wish Thugit was here.

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

He kicks you in the nads.

I wish I could pronounce "Mr mxyslpltysjzkssxk"... or at least spell it...

[dj_sha]

Wish granted.

You can now spell it, but don't know when the word ends. Have a nice eternity.

I wish I could get punched in the nads. (try and screw THAT one up!)

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

Thugit punches you in the nads too. The force of the punch fractures your pelvis. Due to unexpected complications, you die on the operating table...
... but your cadaver is used in a research hospital and is instrumental in finding a cure for people who merge into traffic without indicating.

[boneyard]

I wish I could get punched in the nads. (try and screw THAT one up!)

You get punched in the nads and realize you like it.

In fact, it becomes the only way you can ever experience any sort of pleasure.

I wish I had JonL's job.

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

You assume JonL's position, after he abdicates to become El Presidente Guapo of the Northern Hemisphere. He raises taxes on anyone using the Batman logo on internet forums, and despite your increased salary, bankrupts you.

I wish my tooth would stop hurting

[dj_sha]

Wish granted.

You get hit by a bus and can no longer feel anything.

I wish I could see Spider-Man 3 right now.

[boneyard]

Nice try. :laugh: I still wish I had JonL's job.

[boneyard]

I wish I could see Spider-Man 3 right now.

You get to see Spider-Man 3, but the plot is based on the "Clone Saga." It also features a make-out scene between Mary Jane and Aunt May which you find disturbingly erotic.

I wish the current Batman comics were better written.

[turdburglar47]

Wish granted.

The writing of the Batman comics is phenomenal - incredible use of both Two-Face and Killer Moth. Unfortunately, the art is now done by Bil Keane of the Family Circus, when he's pretending that 7-year-old Billy is actually drawing them.

I wish chocolate was nutritious.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by turdburglar47
Wish granted.

The writing of the Batman comics is phenomenal - incredible use of both Two-Face and Killer Moth. Unfortunately, the art is now done by Bil Keane of the Family Circus, when he's pretending that 7-year-old Billy is actually drawing them.

I wish chocolate was nutritious.

Wish granted

Chocolate is now nutritious. It now also contains coca paste and each cubic cm has 6500 calories

I wish that the Squidward model on my computer would tell me what my destiny is

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted.

Squidward tells you your destiny. Unfortunately, you spontaneously combust before you can achieve it, and the world never achieves world peace.

I wish I could afford to see my family again

[BadAxe1]

Originally posted by gdaybloke
Wish granted.

Squidward tells you your destiny. Unfortunately, you spontaneously combust before you can achieve it, and the world never achieves world peace.

I wish I could afford to see <a href="my%20family" onmouseover="window.status='my family'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">my family</a> again



Granted. You win the lottery and enroute to see them your plane crashes in to another plane that was carrying your family on a suprise visit to see you.

I wish that Thugit had not made his was by proxy onto this thread. (Darn Thugites)

[Batman1983]

He doesn't... Unfortunately since he can't he decides its your fault & conjures Gday & family to haunt you for being such a sick guy as to have them all die...

I wish I was healthy, immortal, & filthy rich. Had all my family safe & had Superman powers.

[Gimpy]

Everything is great for you, so by comparison Everyone else life sucks and they kill them self. you are the only one left alive to wander the earth alone. With superman's powers...

I wish i was 1 year older

[gdaybloke]

Wish granted....

But you're haunted for your filthy rich eternity by the Gdayfamily, who got creeped out by BadAxe1 after he started licking the ectoplasm off the walls. You never get a good night's sleep again.

I wish I wasn't a ghost.

[gdaybloke]

I wish i was 1 year older
Wish granted...
But in the process of aging one year in a matter of seconds, your hear and toeails grow alarmingly. Your big toenail catches on some carpet, you stumble, and your hair catches on a table and wrenches your neck. You're unable to face forward for the remainder of your life.

[thugit]

Originally posted by Pfligman
Wish Granted.
Thugit shows up only with C-note and it's a 100 point game, you win by forfiet but then the venue burns down and everyone dies except for you leaving you no bragging rights.

I wish Thugit was here.



Wow. Of all the wierd things I've seen people mention me in the same breath as, this thread takes the cake.


Wish granted, by the way.

;)

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by gdaybloke
Wish granted....

But you're haunted for your filthy rich eternity by the Gdayfamily, who got creeped out by BadAxe1 after he started licking the ectoplasm off the walls. You never get a good night's sleep again.

I wish I wasn't a ghost.

Wish granted

You are now a zombie. Enjoy the brains

I wish I could understand why people like Pollock's (sp?) paintings

[de4dp00l]

Wish granted. You are now a pretentious art snob who really doesn't understand what you are looking at, but accept that it's art because everyone says so.

I wish that my cat wouldn't lick it's own nether regions then jump in my lap and try to lick my face.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. You are now a pretentious art snob who really doesn't understand what you are looking at, but accept that it's art because everyone says so.

I wish that my cat wouldn't lick it's own nether regions then jump in my lap and try to lick my face.

Wish granted

You can now lick your own nether regions! (Oh, and you really enjoy licking your cat's face as well)

I wish the Simpsons was funny as it used to be a few seasons ago

[K'un L'un Kid]

Wish granted.

The show is the funniest it's ever been. Unfortunately, the cast holds out for a massive salary increase, the size of which means that Fox can only produce two five-minute episodes a year.

I wish I knew how to cook.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by K'un L'un Kid
Wish granted.

The show is the funniest it's ever been. Unfortunately, the cast holds out for a massive salary increase, the size of which means that Fox can only produce two five-minute episodes a year.

I wish I knew how to cook.

Wish granted

You realize that if you immerse yourself in a boiling cauldron you will cook up nicely in around 5-6 hours. Unfortunately you start to smell pretty tasty at around 3 hours and take a bite. If you weren't being boiled to death it would get infected and you would need to take antibiotics

I wish had some healthy snacks here at work

[BigSoph]

Sorry, make that "healthful". Healthy snacks are capable of fighting back!

[de4dp00l]

Originally posted by BigSoph
Sorry, make that "healthful". Healthy snacks are capable of fighting back!

Wish granted. You have an abundance of healthful snacks. But how can you eat... when you have no mouth, Mr. Ander, er, that is Mr. BigSoph. Mrs. BigSoph. Mz. BigSoph.

I wish that I didn't have to reply to married and unmarried women with a different title. How archaic.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by de4dp00l
Wish granted. You have an abundance of healthful snacks. But how can you eat... when you have no mouth, Mr. Ander, er, that is Mr. BigSoph. Mrs. BigSoph. Mz. BigSoph.

I wish that I didn't have to reply to married and unmarried women with a different title. How archaic.

No need to stand on formality. Big will do! (actually mr.)

Wish granted

Everyone is now identical in every way. Every player in Heroclix tournaments now run identical teams. Hey! This isn't supposed to be REAL!

I wish I didn't feel so old. Some high school kid called me sir...

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You go back into your mother's womb, and remain there conscious for nine long months. By the time you are born, you've gone insane from boredom.

I wish they would make new episodes of Family Guy.

[boneyard]

I wish they would make new episodes of Family Guy.

Wish granted. They are!

New Episodes To Air In March 2005?
Wednesday, September 29, 2004

On last night's Loveline, Seth MacFarlane made mention that Fox could air the new episodes as early as March of 2005. Apparently they're trying to start airing episodes in either May or March.

Unfortunately, you only have two months to live.

I wish Wizkids would link Whoclix to their website.

[Socko]

Wish granted. Everyone is stoked.


Even chicks angry bulls, bobby knight, and "chicks during that time of month."

Except...

Kurt Loder. Hes pretty angry about this. And be warned. Kurt has friends at mtv. This means power. He plays even less music than possible. Its now into just clips....

They look up to him as a great-great-great GrandFather Figure.


I wish we had more pics of Legacy!!!

that'd be sweeeeet...


By the way, Fuse rocks.

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

BrotherMagneto secretly posts more figures of Legacy. Wizkids notices his unorthodox behavior, and he is fired. They replace him with someone else who has the creativity of a mirror, and gives no useful information in the character description.

I wish I was ammune to heart disease.

[Socko]

Wish Granted.

Every Single one of your immunities converts to fighting heart disease only.

You walk outside. Your out for about 2 minutes. You catch about 334 different disesases in this time. Unfortuneatly, the heart disease fighters are defenseless against every single one. You fall right their on the sidwalk. dead of course, but thatll be a few painfull hours later.

I wish I was as gifted as writing songs as such as Neil Young...

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You write the same songs Neil Young. When you try to sell them, he sues you. You go bankrupt, and live on the streets until you die.

I wish I had a can of whipped creme right about now.

[Socko]

why would I plageurize?

I'd be writing something as good as Neil Young I thought... And then you corrupt it.

whatever.:ermm:

[Socko]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Granted.


I wish I had a can of whipped creme right about now.



Your Wish is Granted...


Your whipped cream lies in front of you, on a naked reuben studdard.


I wish Mindless Self Indulgence released a new cd...

[St-Dumas]

Well, it is the "Corrupt-a-Wish" Game. Don't take it so personally.

[Socko]

It just didnt make sense is all...

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by Socko
I wish Mindless Self Indulgence released a new cd...

They release a new awesome CD. In an "unrelated" event, you go deaf.

I wish I had a genie.

[Socko]

Wish Granted.

He committs suicide when He meets you.

He used some effects to make it look pretty bad too.

You poop your pants from it.


I wish I had the powers of Mystique.

[jedah_s]

wish granted.
you have mystique's shape changing ability..... sadly you have no control over the power.
you spend the rest of your life alternating between looking like carrot top and kathy bates.

i wish i'd stop getting e-mails on how to enlarge parts of my anatomy naturaly.

[boneyard]

i wish i'd stop getting e-mails on how to enlarge parts of my anatomy naturaly.

Wish granted.

You stop getting e-mails on how to enlarge parts of your anatomy naturally.

Instead, you start getting a flood of e-mails on how to enlarge parts of your anatomy un-naturally. You succumb to temptation and order the "Stretch-Master 3000." After your landlord reports the smell to the police, they discover your corpse with a detatched member and a painful smile on your face.

I wish I were in Dixie.

[Socko]

Wish granted.

This results in offers of unnatural ways.


When they say they pull it, the mean it...


I wish I had invented bottled water, and get ####ing bloody rich off of it like the real dude did, and simply cut myself off from society in a small log cabin nestled in the canadian wilderness where I live the rest of my days as a trapper.

[Socko]

Originally posted by boneyard


I wish I were in Dixie.


You are suddenly in dixie land.


Sadly, You are in the same setting as deliverance on a canoe going down the river and you keep hearing this banjo getting louder and louder...


I wish I was in Amsterdam with some buddies.

[WTF?]

Granted

Sadly, Your locked in a Amsterdam apartment with your buddies Rupaul and MJ, the king of Pop. Good Luck

;) .

I wish for my wish to be corrupted. (Bring it)

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by WTF?
Granted

Sadly, Your locked in a Amsterdam apartment with your buddies Rupaul and MJ, the king of Pop. Good Luck

;) .

I wish for my wish to be corrupted. (Bring it)

Wish granted

You get your wish but the genie also throws in the clap for free!

I wish that I had a turkey sandwich. And no zombie turkey or the mayo is evil, the lettuce isn't from Hitler's personal garden and on standard no-mouldy brown bread that hasn't been made from ground up kittens

[sockmonkee]

Wish granted
but the turkey is a little dry

I wish I had a new car

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You get a little toy car that has never been seen before because it's so carpy.

I wish my back didn't hurt so much.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by St-Dumas
Granted.

You get a little toy car that has never been seen before because it's so carpy.

I wish my back didn't hurt so much.

Wish granted

You get hit by a busload of Shriners and are paralyzed, unable to feel anything below your neck. Except your right foot, which itches like crazy!

I wish that people would just "get it", get it?

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by sockmonkee
Wish granted
but the turkey is a little dry


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[DeonBeast]

Wish granted.

People "get it", you don't. :p

I wish I had a high paying job playing Heroclix!

[supergoblin]

granted

Unfornitaly your now the only person who plays heroclix everyone mow plays shin-gojis spoof "Hero-lix"

[sockmonkee]

Wish granted
your job is to stand in front of a wall while they fire hero clix at high speed at you to test them for durability. after several shots in the groin you decide that the job is not worth it you then go to work for Janet Reno as her personal sponge bather.;)

I wish they would make The falcon into a hero clix

[supergoblin]

Oh and I wish barbara boxer was president.

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by sockmonkee
Wish granted
your job is to stand in front of a wall while they fire hero clix at high speed at you to test them for durability. after several shots in the groin you decide that the job is not worth it you then go to work for Janet Reno as her personal sponge bather.;)

I wish they would make The falcon into a hero clix

Wish granted

Considered to be a game breaker, the mini of the F-16 is in high demand

I wish I knew who Barbara Boxer is. C'mon people! Genies cannot read minds!
I also wish everyone had new hats!

[supergoblin]

wish grant
you now know that barbara boxer is a prominant congress women from californai, unforninatly you finding this out makes you feel stupid and you shoot you self out of depresion

I still wish barbara boxer was president

[BigSoph]

Originally posted by supergoblin
wish grant
you now know that barbara boxer is a prominant congress women from californai, unforninatly you finding this out makes you feel stupid and you shoot you self out of depresion

I still wish barbara boxer was president

Wish granted

Nobody notices.

I wish people could spell, especially when they are calling ME stupid! Or fails to notice I am in Canada!

[supergoblin]

wish granted

nothing changes since you failed to specifie that you wanted people to be able to spell well.

I wish that canadain would bow to the might that is the all power U S OF A.

[Basil Elks]

I wish I knew where the monkey fit in?

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by supergoblin
I wish that canadain would bow to the might that is the all power U S OF A.

Granted.

Canada bows down to the US. We send them into Iraq. They all die. France, angered by the death of it's child, starts a war. Long story short, we see the apocalypse.

I wish for a free Tibet.

[Socko]

Basil, Your Wish is granted.


Its between Rocks and Mustard Seeds.


wherever those are...


I wish that my brother wasnt a ####ing dickweed and was just cool for a while...

[Basil Elks]

I wish my farts didn't reek so badly.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted, your bro is now a (warning, bad pun)...

REFRIGERATOR!

I wish I had four stomachs.

[Socko]

Originally posted by St-Dumas


I wish for a free Tibet.


Granted, Your wish is.


Tibet is now free. Everyone states that they should have every right that is possible. Later, They try to ammend their constitution making it so that marriage can involve a Cow too, Now.


I wish I was all knowing, But still, Never giving a carp.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. You know everything. Unfortunately, your mind is too limited to comprehend/compute all this new information. Your head explodes.

I wish that the Ninjas would realize that they aren't really ninjas. (Like that's ever gonna happen)

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by JKLantern
I wish I had four stomachs.

Granted.

You have 4 stomachs. The government finds out and takes you to a secret laboratory. You suffer through humiliating and painful tests, until they kill you and replace you with a 9 legged spider.

I wish I could time travel.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, you aren't given the knowledge of how your powers work, so when you got to ask Socko how to time travel, you end up flying into the Big Bang (assuming you believe in it, otherwise, you fly into a T-Rex).

[St-Dumas]

Originally posted by JKLantern
I wish that the Ninjas would realize that they aren't really ninjas. (Like that's ever gonna happen)

Granted.

Ninja's realize they're not ninjas and quit the war. Vikings become bored and start killing pirates. Pirates are now more extinct then they were five seconds ago. The Vikings drink to their victory.

So far, i'm not seeing a downside.

I wish I didn't have to wake up at 7:00 AM to get to school.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. You now have to wake up at 3 am to go to school.

I wish I could wake up at 7 am and still make it to school on time.

[St-Dumas]

Congrats.

Every morning, your mom comes in and splashes cold water all over you at 7 AM. You get pneumonia and die.

I wish Mr. T would admit that he's really Gladiator.

[schicantek]

Originally posted by JKLantern
Wish granted. You now have to wake up at 3 am to go to school.

I wish I could wake up at 7 am and still make it to school on time.

Wish granted. You are able to get to school on time in a ultra fast hypersonic jet. Unfortunatly, you don't own that jet, so while possible to get to school on time, you can't really.

I wish that all life ended. Ha, turn that against me!!:devious:

[JKLantern]

Wish Granted. He then Laser Vision the planet for the glory of the Shi'Ar Empire.

I wish I had a sandwich.

[JKLantern]

Life ends, eh?

Wish granted. Eveyone loses the capacity to have a social life. Everyone is too busy to go out with friends and have fun. Including you.

You meany...;)

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

The sandwhich os made from a human hand, rotton lettuce, over salted tomatoes, cheese from hell's cow, and the turkey's a little dry.

I wish I had a hammer.

[JKLantern]

Wish granted. You had a hammer, but I stole it.

I wish sunlight did not cause me pain (stupid photophobia/sensitivity)

[St-Dumas]

Granted.

You go out into the sunlit world. Your wallot is stolen, your car is scratched, your girlfriend dumps you, and the turkey is still a little dry.

I wish the turkey wasn't so dry.

[jedah_s]

(rats hate it when that happens)

[JKLantern]

Hmm, I don't carry a wallet, am single already, and don't particularly care about my car as it already looks kinda like a golf ball.

Hm, dry turkey isn't too bad, depending on the type.

It pays to be not completely human.

[JKLantern]

And for your wish...Ramalamadingdong! The turkey is liquified.

[Basil Elks]

I wish I was fat.

[JKLantern]

Click! You are now so fat you can't move. And there is a really hot girl standing five feet away with a cake that you just can't reach! Additionally, you are significantly more flammable.

[St-Dumas]

I wish I was Johnny Depp.

[JKLantern]

Boom! You are Johnathon Quincy Depp, a Janitor in a small country in Europe.