View Full Version : Superman without powers vs. a Bear
Superman is kidnapped by orange martians and his powers are taken away. They drop him butt naked and powerless in the woods somewhere in Canada covered in beef jerky. A hungry bear comes. Discuss.
FaithlessOne
03/04/2005, 00:50
What brand of beef jerky?
CitizenBen
03/04/2005, 00:54
Well it is Canada, so it'll be some hard core Bacon, possibly Canadian Bacon. Plus its on the Bear's home turf, so he's probably had plenty of time to Molson up. Not to mention get his hole ready to bury Supe's half dead body in for later consumption. So after much consideration....
I gotta go with Supes....
NO WAIT the BEAR!!!
Yeah the Canadian brew and bacon make all the deference...
Only the very best in the universe.
skyounkin
03/04/2005, 00:59
The bear will win.....and for Kal it's either that he will be eaten.....or humped!!
Depends if the bear is hungry......or horney!!
St-Dumas
03/04/2005, 01:02
Superman would get beat down faster then you could say "Hey, he just swiped my pickanick basket."
The Qwardian
03/04/2005, 01:20
What kind of bear? seriously.
St-Dumas
03/04/2005, 01:26
It'd be smarter then the average bear.
Well, I think writer perogative has a lot to do with it. If it's a DC writer then Superman has all kinds of primitive survival skills that he learned during his week long backwoods hiking/fishing trips with Pa Kent. That being the case he builds a spear with a stick from a beaver's dam and a shard of volcanic rock. When the bear comes it's all over in a few minutes and later that night Clark has roasted bear tenderloin for supper.
Gentlegamer
03/04/2005, 09:36
If Anthony Hopkins can kill a ferocious bear, so can a powerless Clark Kent.
Yeah, What kind of a bear...
We dealing with a black bear or something bigger like an Alaskan Brown Bear/ Kodiak?
FoxInStocks
03/04/2005, 09:52
Does the bear have kryptonite?
de4dp00l
03/04/2005, 10:00
Wait, I have a better scenario... Who would win in a fight, Clark Kent or Richard Simmons? For the sake of discussion, lets assume that Richards has a copy of Sweating to the Oldies blasting in the background to get him totally pumped up, and that his new deal a meal diet has involved ingesting large amounts of kryptonite. Also, Richard is covered in butter. Don't ask. It's just the kind of guy he is.
Maybe its a bear made out of kryptonite!
hopefully red!(I think... whatever would make him grow)
CarlosMucha
03/04/2005, 18:56
only for you information Superman battles years ago versus a lot of Aliens WHIOUT POWERS! and BLIND!
VetLogan
03/04/2005, 19:04
The bear would win...especially if it was from Marvel.
DS-00-0, FSD
03/04/2005, 19:06
Originally posted by CarlosMucha
only for you information Superman battles years ago versus a lot of Aliens WHIOUT POWERS! and BLIND!
But were these wild, ferocious aliens or those little stick men with big heads ala "X-files"?
I mean, I could beat up those little aliens blind, especially if it was post-Crisis. ;)
I'm gonna have to go with Superman on this one. I mean, have you guys seen that commercial where the guy beats up the bear and takes his fish?
Come on, it's on TV so you know it's got to be real...
GreenMan
03/04/2005, 19:08
bear.
garlinghouse
03/04/2005, 19:12
Huh??:cross-eye
CarlosMucha
03/04/2005, 19:22
maybe I'm not explain well he figh versus THE Aliens (from Aliens versus Predator)
phantom1592
03/04/2005, 19:24
Originally posted by Gentlegamer
If Anthony Hopkins can kill a ferocious bear, so can a powerless Clark Kent.
If one man can do it then ANOTHER man can DO IT!
But seriously. What kind of bear?
This is a Grizzly Bear, for all you nitpickers.
Good arguments made so far. I think Superman would win because he could rip off some beef jerky and use it as a trap, just like in #247. But there would be no real winner, as Superman would wander around in the Canadian wilderness for the rest of his life, eventually being known as "the crazy beef jerky guy" and parents would tell their kids to go to sleep or the crazy beef jerky guy would come and kill a bear or something.
GreenMan
03/14/2005, 19:58
superman WITH powers would take the dirt nap if the bear in question was #### Butkus.
GreenMan
03/14/2005, 20:01
I mean the nickname for richard. Sheesh.
phantom1592
03/14/2005, 21:29
Is that Regular Butkus or mini-butkus?
Da Bear!
I think Supes would survive the bear encounter by ripping off the beef jerky and leaving it on the ground. The bear would choose the easy meal while Supes runs away. An intelligent, non-violent solution.
Three days later he dies of exposure.
Good question though.
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