View Full Version : HCR Rates The Movies #77: CONAN THE DESTROYER
So, our next film, Classic or Crud, Hit or Miss, what say you ALL?
Our next film open for discussion, and ultimately an Overall RATING by you all:
CONAN THE DESTROYER
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Let the discussions flow. Likes, dislikes, classic film or overhyped trash, and DONT FORGET to place an Overall Rating when youre done.
Its easy, just give a Rating from 1 (Jaws 4:The Revenge) to 10 (Jaws), and thats it. Course I'd love to have you all give reasons as to why you feel it deserves this Overall Rating, and more than encourage discussions with us all about them.
So, what say you all?
Next Film: ??????
This was the one with Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones?
It gets high marks for being a great film in the "classic dungeon party D&D" mold, but what a bad film. I cannot bring myself to rate it honestly.
If you are a Fantasy RPG-er, you should see this film. If you are not, and have no peculiar fetishes that you are aware of, avoid it at all costs.
Yes I know what you mean. Seems that their grouping was very similiar to RPG teams, or the video game Gauntlet for that matter. A warrior, valkyrie, thief and wizard, along with a second fighter in Wilt Chamberlain and a princess to protect.
All in all its not nearly as good as the first one to me. A bit dopey, the effects oddly enough werent done as well, and unlike the first one (done by the classic James Early Jones) this ones villain kinda blew.
Was it enjoyable to the Fantasy, D&D geek in me, maybe, but just barely so. Theres a reason they never did a Conan 3 (and not Im not counting Red Sonja as that), and that was Conan The Destroyer.
Conan The Destroyer - 6.50 / 10
(I gave Conan The Barbarian an 8.50)
EmperorNorton
09/10/2006, 18:47
Is this the one where Arnold knocks out a horse?
Is this the one where Arnold knocks out a horse?
Actually, correct me if Im wrong, but I think it was a camel (after it spit on him)
The first movie was the one where he knocked out the horse.... he was stupidly drunk at the time.
This was the one with:
Wilt Chamberlain in his most demanding role,
A D'abo in her most demanding role.
Ursa from Superman II cheesing it up.
I know there's sometihng else...................
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.
.
.
.
.
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Oh, that's right, the emasculation of Conans greatest and most tenacious and persistant adversary in 15 minutes of bad special effects?
For that reason it gets a 3. Only Basil Polidouris' music elevates it that high and it was not one of his better efforts.
I have the Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer combo DVD and sometimes I look at it and think "It wasn't that bad.." then the dog comes and begins humping my leg and I remember;
yeah. it was. :rolleyes:
the itsy bit
09/11/2006, 07:21
I still kind of like it although it wasn't nearly as good as Conan the Barbarian.
5,5/10 because without the bad special effects I did still enjoy it.
You can tell just by the bored, almost monotone prologue intro voiced by Mako that "Conan the Destroyer" was a labor of... well... certainly not love. Carp maybe? It's sort of like Hawk the Slayer only with a bigger budget.
What a letdown of a movie. Poor plot. So-so acting. Bad special effects. A standard 70's, 80's sequel. It gets a 4 rating from me, only because I know that there are movies out there that are actually worse. (I almost gave it a 5 rating for having Olivial D'abo in it, but had to subtract it back down to a 4 because it also has Grace Jones.:confused: :laugh: )
hail_eris
09/11/2006, 12:57
It's sort of like Hawk the Slayer only with a bigger budget.
Bad mouth Conan as much as you want, but you will *not* criticize Hawk the Slayer. That movie is fantastic. From the soft focus (not due to any decision of the cinematographer, but rather, a result of the low quality film stock) to the awesome Casio keyboard soundtrack, to special effects that consisted of a few frames of film looped to produce the sort-of illusion of something being done at high speed, Hawk the Slayer had it all. It had a star-studded cast, including the woman who played Magenta in Rocky Horror and a guy that, when he showed up on "Lost," had me asking my girlfriend if that was the guy from Hawk the Slayer. She was confused, but only for a moment, as this is a disturbingly normal question for me to ask. Oh, yeah. Conan. Meh. It was part of the extremely brief Grace Jones Renaissance, when she appeared in this, A View to a Kill (which I remember only because Duran Duran did the title song), and had a minor hit on college radio stations. Her character, and the acrobat on "Dungeons and Dragons," briefly made fighting with a quarterstaff cool again, so I'll give props for that. And there was some nonsense about a princess and something err, hell, I can't remember the rest. It didn't have James Earl Jones in it, so I'll give it a 5.
CURRENT HCR MEMBER RATING:
CONAN THE DESTROYER - 4.75 / 10
(5 members rating)
Melgrimm
09/13/2006, 20:22
The Destroyer gets a 4. Should have been a 3, but I have to give it props for the epilogue at the end.
He wore his crown with a troubled brow, guys.
The Destroyer gets a 4. Should have been a 3, but I have to give it props for the epilogue at the end.
He wore his crown with a troubled brow, guys.
This is perhaps one of my favorite genre quotes, especially now with Mako providing a voice in Avatar, the Last Airbender.
Maniac_nmt
09/14/2006, 09:24
I think the real downfall of the movie comes from the attempt at humor. The inclusion of Malik was stupid. It probably would have been alright without him. After all, one continually has to wonder what the hell Conan is doing running arround with such a bumbling buffoon.
It is a guilty pleasure for me to watch. It's no where near as good as the first, but if I mentally screen out Malik I enjoy The Destroyer alright.
5/10
As previously said Malik is unbearable. But it's still a great fun to watch it, with plenty of funny scenes (when he knocks out the camel :laugh:, or the supid wizards' duel in the cave, etc...).
7/10.
Chief Pokishi
05/21/2007, 01:42
Guess I'm in the minority but I really liked this film. (Lowers head to avoid the throngs of stones being hurled with unbriddled disgust) See I actually saw this movie before the barbarian, so I found destroyer to be enormously hilarious. I even teared once or twice during viewing. Malik in my eyes was funny as hell and just found the movie really funny.
Now after watching the greatness that is Conan the Barbarian, Destroyer obviously falls flat. Barbarian is superior in every way but I understand everyone's dislike of this movie. I guess I had nothing to grade it too the first time I saw it.
For me, 7.5/10, the films humor and memorable lines save it for me as an entertaining film.
" Now swing it over your head. Good, now you're ready to take on anybody."
" Conan, there's six against her. One, two, three... I think you're right."
" My cousins' brothers' sister never said anything about bars, how we get in?... The bars were put up after your sisters' brothers' cousin escaped... cousins' brothers' sister , how many times do I have to tell you?... you said your sisters' brothers' cousin...WHO CARES WHO COUSINS' SISTERS' BROTHER, WHAT DIFFERENCE I MAKES!!!!"
charlesx
05/21/2007, 02:02
OMG what an utter trash sequel. I love the first one, but this one deserves a 3.5. What were the writers smoking when they turned the second movie into this? So much stunk about it that I won't get into it. I pretend that it doesn't exist, and Grace Jones was only one of the many low points that I could mention. Yuck. I have to go get this bad taste out of my mouth now.
charlesx
05/21/2007, 02:05
Actually, correct me if Im wrong, but I think it was a camel (after it spit on him)
He did knock out a camel for the second time. He recognized from the first movie, and apologized for smacking it. The camel spat on Conan anyway, which pissed him off and WHAM! camel gag done a second time. This was one of the comedic high points of the film...sigh...:disappoin
petenbailey9
05/21/2007, 20:19
[QUOTE=hail_eris]Bad mouth Conan as much as you want, but you will *not* criticize Hawk the Slayer. That movie is fantastic. QUOTE]
DO you have a copy of this move? If so I'll trade heavily in your favor. Oh yeah, Conan gets a 5.
Guess I'm in the minority but I really liked this film. (Lowers head to avoid the throngs of stones being hurled with unbriddled disgust) See I actually saw this movie before the barbarian, so I found destroyer to be enormously hilarious. I even teared once or twice during viewing. Malik in my eyes was funny as hell and just found the movie really funny.
I teared up a couple of times while watching this movie too, but it wasn't from laughter. It was from pain.:cry:
;)
5/10
The film itself is not that good but I can't help but enjoy it. I haven't seen it nearly as much as The Barbarian but more than most people will admit.
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