View Full Version : The B-17 flies again
CurBludgeon
10/26/2007, 13:01
Is Larry Byrd the cheap, non-union version of Larry Bird?
Is Larry Byrd the cheap, non-union version of Larry Bird?
No, he's an alternate universe version of him. It's rather interesting, actually, if you just look over here, I can show you-
*stabs CurBludgeon several times in the base of the neck. Then...just for irony's sake, bludgeons him with a meat masher.*
Guards! It looks like Rokk struck again!!!
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to CurBludgeon again.
CurBludgeon
10/26/2007, 13:08
No, he's an alternate universe version of him. It's rather interesting, actually, if you just look over here, I can show you-
*stabs CurBludgeon several times in the base of the neck. Then...just for irony's sake, bludgeons him with a meat masher.*
Guards! It looks like Rokk struck again!!!
Damn. Didn't even...die...by...leg swee--urk!
Damn. Didn't even...die...by...leg swee--urk!
And implicate myself in your death?? Oh no, sir! I have self control, despite what most may think.
....
*leg sweeps Cur's dead body to death, then runs away*
hail_eris
10/26/2007, 13:13
Is Larry Byrd the cheap, non-union version of Larry Bird?
He's the lesser known, beer-swilling brother of Antarctic explorer Richard E. Byrd. Much like fellow black sheep siblings Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, and Frank Stallone, Larry Byrd made a living by exploiting his brother's name and accomplishments. However, his "Admiral Byrd Ranch-raised Roasting Penguins" were revealed to be nothing more than spray-painted chickens, and he returned to a life of relative obscurity.
Rokk_Krinn
10/26/2007, 13:15
Nope. Not worried about the fingerprints at all. Klink's camp was notorious for lax security measures and inability to solve a crime. *uses Cur as a Bludgeon to pound in Thawmus' head to prove the point*
Ignatz_Mouse
10/26/2007, 14:09
This is why it's better to just ask for the Rita Hayworth poster.
Worked for me!
MISSION 24:
Well, High Command isn’t letting you guys off easy. Today’s mission will take you as deep inside Germany as you’ve ever been to hit the U-boat pens at Kiel.
Zone 1—We take off.
Zone 2—We’re immediately jumped by 2 FW 190s, an ME 109 and an ME 110. All of them get past our fighter escorts.
BudPalmer’s identical cousin in the Tail Turret shoots down the 110. The 190 and one of the 109s get hits, damaging the port wing root and lightly wounding copilot hair10.
On the 2nd pass, the ME 109 scores another hit. hair10’s oxygen system is damaged, though still working.
On its final pass, the 109 avoids our defensive fire again, but misses us in turn.
Zone 3—A pair of 109s and an FW 190 attack. The Spitfires chase away one of the 109s, but the other two planes score hits on us. scehaono is lightly wounded and the Tail Turret is knocked out.
The two enemy fighters come around for another pass, but they miss.
Zone 4—No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5—A single FW 190 attacks, avoiding our defensive fire, but missing us in turn.
Zone 6—2 FW 190s attack, along with an ME 109 and an ME 110. The 110 hits us from the rear, damaging the port wing root even further, riddling the radio room to lightly wound Kasz216 and knocking out the Starboard Cheek gun.
On the ME 110’s second pass, Shadow40 in the Top Turret damages it and forces it to peel off.
Zone 7—3 ME 109s attack. Both all our gunners and all three of them miss.
Zone 8—Over the target and the weather is clear. Other bombers in our formation drive off the enemy fighters and we drop down for our bomb run.
We run into very heavy flak and take some hits from shrapnel. The oxygen supply to the Tail is damaged and the port wing root takes yet another hit. (By now, our port wing is still attached by nothing more than spit and chewing gum. Another hit to the wing root will rip it off.)
The jostling from the flak hits throws off Ignatz Mouse’s aim. The bombs fall wide of the target.
We turn for home.
Zone 8—2 waves of enemy fighters attack. 2 ME 109s from the first wave hit us, with one of them scoring superficial hits. It comes around for another pass, but misses.
There are 2 more ME 109s and an ME 110 in the 2nd wave of fighters. JackAssterson in the Ball Turret damges the 110, while Ignatz Mouse on the Nose gun damages one of the 109s. We suffer no hits.
Zone 7—Other bombers in our formation drive off the enemy fighters. We use the lull in the action to transfer ammo from the damaged Tail Turret to the Top Turret, which had burned through most of its original ammo.
Zone 6—Luck holds out. Once again, other bombers in our formation drive off the enemy.
Zone 5—We have dependable friends today. Once again, the other bombers chase off the enemy.
Zone 4—3 FW 190s attack. Our fighter escorts have rejoined us and they chase off one of the 190s. scehaono drives off another with an extended burst. The remaining 190 misses us.
Zone 3—2 ME 109s attack. The Spitfires chase off one. The remaining enemy plane misses us.
Zone 2—No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 1—We’re back home and the weather is clear. With one rather wobbly wing, EmperorNorton and the bleeding hair10 land the plane safely. The three wounded crewmen are patched up by the medics and returned to duty.
The plane is repaired for one more mission. If JackAssterson survives, he’ll be a rare case of a crewman flying on all 25 missions and coming out of it alive. He’ll be sent home to appear at war bond rallies and on newsreels. He’ll be invited to dine with FDR and get his picture taken with Rita Hayworth at the Canteen Club in Hollywood.
Will it be a millk run? Or another mission deep into enemy territory? Will the plane return intact? Or will a stray shot from a Messerschmidt detonate the bomb load?
And, of course, there’s the little matter of actually winning the war. Right now, there have been 12 successful missions. Hit the target on the last run will put you over 50% and you’ll have seriously damaged the German war machine. Miss and the boys landing on Omaha Beach on D-Day will be facing an unbeatable line of Tiger Tanks.
Pilot—EmperorNorton
Co-Pilot—hair10
Bombardier—Ignatz Mouse
Navigator—AlienFlanders (2 kills)
Flight Engineer/Top Turret gunner—Shadow40 (4 kills)
Radio Operator—Kasz216 (1 kill)
Ball Turret Gunner—JackAssterson (10 ½ kills)
Starboard Waist Gunner—scehaono (1 ½ kills)
Port Waist Gunner—charlesx
Tail Gunner—BudPalmer’s identical cousin (2 kills)
Reserves: KitsuShel’s evil twin sister; GroovyBoy; JackofHearts2005; {possible escaped POWs}
INVALIDED HOME: hail eris (navigator); batfink (port waist gunner); St. Cuthbert (tail gunner): DarkCorsair (bombardier)
KIA: Melkhor (co-pilot); BudPalmer (tail gunner); Kalel21 (pilot); KitsuShel (co-pilot); Stuart Rex (pilot); theanalogkid (bombardier); madslaust (tail gunner)
POW: CurBludgeon (pilot); Grinner (navigator); Rokk Krinn (flight engineer); Thawmus (radio operator); NAES72 (starboard waist gunner); bigbro911 (port waist gunner); Antipathy (tail gunner)
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 12
Enemy fighters shot down:43
Shadow40
10/29/2007, 10:48
Way to go JackAssterson. One more mission and you will be the greatest war hero on this thread.
charlesx
10/29/2007, 10:52
What is it with me???? I can't hit the broad side of a barn even if I try to hit it with the side of another barn! BudPalmer's identical cousin is leaving me in the dust!!
Guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.... :disappoin
BudPalmer
10/29/2007, 10:55
Oddly enough I just took that up, spray-paint too! :tired:
Rokk_Krinn
10/29/2007, 11:03
*thinks Kal is setting these up so that Jack survives...only so he can be killed at the victory party. :devious: *
BudPalmer
10/29/2007, 11:49
You just aren't a nice person, are you?
I predict that if Jack lives, he'll go on to become a B-movie star in Westerns just like Audie Murphy.
CurBludgeon
10/29/2007, 12:34
I predict that if Jack lives, he'll go on to become a B-movie star in Westerns just like Audie Murphy.
Replace "B-movie star" with "creepy muttering guy whom we always cross the street to avoid," "Westerns" with "your home town," and "Audie Murphy" with "Kalel21." :cheeky:
Replace "B-movie star" with "creepy muttering guy whom we always cross the street to avoid," "Westerns" with "your home town," and "Audie Murphy" with "Kalel21." :cheeky:
Hey, I hardly ever mutter!!!!! :devious:
charlesx
10/29/2007, 12:37
Hey, I hardly ever mutter!!!!! :devious:
Ah, but it's your deeds and not only your words that truly mutter the most, Kalel21.
I may take a shot to the shoulder and sound like Vader (thanks to the damaged oxygen supply) but I'll make sure you all get home alive! :p
BudPalmer
10/29/2007, 12:58
I may take a shot to the shoulder and sound like Vader (thanks to the damaged oxygen supply) but I'll make sure EmperorNortonl gets you all home alive! :p
I went ahead and fixed that for ya!
I just realized--with only one mission to go, there's now no chance of the rest of you in Stalag 13 escaping and rejoining the crew.
Oh, well. Enjoy the rest of the war and don't give poor Sgt. Schulz a hard time.
CurBludgeon
10/29/2007, 15:13
Mine was a short and relatively innocuous piloting career...
The events of our last mission are so emotional I... I just can't post them all at once. The tears in my eyes hamper my vision too much to do so.
Here's what I can manage to tell you now:
MISSION 25:
Our final mission won’t be an easy one—we’re sent back into Germany to hit the rail yard at Hamm. Will Jack make it?
Zone 1—We take off.
Zone 2—No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 3—We’re jumped by 4 FW 190s and there are apparently no Spitfires nearby to drive them off. charlesx on the Port Waist gun scores his first kill by nailing one of them. But one of the remaining 190s scores a hit and destroys the Starboard Waist gun. It comes around for a 2nd pass and hits us again, damaging (but not destroying) hair10’s oxygen system. As the 190 zips past us after this attack run, BudPalmer’s identical cousin puts a burst into his engine, ripping him from the sky.
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 10:07
Oh no. Cliffhanger at 12 o'clock!
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 10:10
Boo!!! I say we put Kalel21 in front of a firing squad for this treachery.
charlesx
10/30/2007, 10:11
Yay! I finally got a kill!!
And watch, now the plane explodes before we can turn around and go home safely. :eek:
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 10:16
[Condescending ]Good job, CharlesX! You sure showed Jerry who's boss![/Condescending ]
:laugh: :p
I've wiped the tears away long enough to post a little more:
Zone 4—No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5—Outside our fighter escort umbrella now and 2 FW 190s attack. charlesx shoots down one of them once more. The other scores hits on our tail section, though, wrecking the port elevator.
On its 2nd pass, the 190 avoids our defensive fire and rips bullets through our starboard wing root. For the second mission in a row, we are now in danger of losing a wing.
The 190 comes around for a 3rd pass. charlesx fires at him, but the Port Waist gun jams. Fortunately, Shadow40 in the Top Turret damages him and forces him to limp for home.
Jackofhearts2005
10/30/2007, 10:30
The suspense is killing me....figuratively.
From here on the ground, I'm quite safe. You guys should probably be worried, though :rolleyes:
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 10:30
C'mon, enough wetting yourself - with tears of joy (sheesh, people, get your minds out of the gutter) - over JackA making it through all the Missions and just post it. :)
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 10:31
This last one is a serial. Deal with it!
charlesx
10/30/2007, 10:35
[Condescending ]Good job, CharlesX! You sure showed Jerry who's boss![/Condescending ]
:laugh: :p
Hey man! I am up to two kills in a single mission! Take that, BudPalmer's identical cousin!!
And then the plane is struck by a freak meteor storm which smashes it out of the sky. Pieces of twisted metal, shrapnel, and parts of the valiant crew rain over Germany.
:disappoin
Jackofhearts2005
10/30/2007, 10:36
Is it bad that I tried reading Charlesx's post 3 times but my screen kept mysteriously scrolling back up to look at Bud's avatar?
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 10:37
Oh carp I forgot it's Tuesday! Mental note: change avatar when I get home!
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 10:37
And then the plane is struck by a freak meteor storm which smashes it out of the sky. Pieces of twisted metal, shrapnel, and parts of the valiant crew rain over Germany.
:disappoin
Somewhere in a German POW camp
Oh. It's hailing again.
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 10:38
This last one is a serial. Deal with it!
Hey, I am fully concerned that shortly after reaching the bombing target, the plane is beset by Manbearpig - who in the true spirit of Halloween snuck aboard and picks everyone off one by one - and that's how they all die, so, yes, it is serial...but I still think the reason Kal's crying is out of joy. :p
charlesx
10/30/2007, 10:41
Oh carp! It's actually a glowing green crystal ball (the Loc Nar) that lodges itself into the hull, suffusing all corpses aboard the plane with eldritch radiation. Their flesh melts away and the reanimated skeletons start tearing the living members of the crew apart!!! Nooooooooo!!!!! :p
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 10:42
Jack's so going to end up riding one of those bombs, a la Slim Pickens, into that rail yard...
2101
I've managed to pull myself together enough to post a little more {sniff}:
Zone 6—charlesx struggles unsuccessfully to clear the jam in the Port Waist gun. Meanwhile, 3 FW 190s attack us. Shadow40 shoots down 1, becoming an Ace. JackAssterson in the Ball Turret damages another. The remaining 190 misses us.
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 10:44
Oh carp! It's actually a glowing green crystal ball (the Loc Nar) that lodges itself into the hull, suffusing all corpses aboard the plane with eldritch radiation. Their flesh melts away and the reanimated skeletons start tearing the living members of the crew apart!!! Nooooooooo!!!!! :p
Whoa. That's pretty heavy, man.
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 10:51
I'm having High School animated movie flashbacks....
I usre hope I get to drop these bombs. Do we still do that sort of thing with half a wing gone?
I usre hope I get to drop these bombs. Do we still do that sort of thing with half a wing gone?
Let's find out:
Zone 7—Over the target and the weather is clear. The Port Waist gun remains jammed. 5 FW 190s attack. Jack damages one of them, but one of the remaining fighters scores hits. hair10 is seriously wounded, as is our bombardier Ignatz Mouse.
On its second pass, the 190 misses us and flies off. We drop down for the bomb run.
Shrapnel from nearby AA bursts rip into the tail, destroying the Tail Turret.
With our bombardier unconscious, our bombs are automatically off target. Instead, they land inside Stalag 13. Unfortunately, when Rokk Krinn arrives for his date with Hilda behind the kitchen, he finds a smoking crater and a scorched shoe is all that’s left of the poor girl.
We turn for home.
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 10:56
Wait, was I in the tail turret when it 'sploded? Why can't anyone hear me? Hello?!?!
EmperorNorton
10/30/2007, 10:57
Finally I figured out hair's job. He catches the bullets for me.
Keep up the good work!
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 10:59
Woot! I'm an ace!! As if there was any doubt about that.
charlesx
10/30/2007, 11:02
Grrr... Still trying... To clear jam... from port waist gun.... Hey, this tastes like strawberry jam! Who left their lunch bag tucked into the port waist gun, darnit???? :angry:
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:03
Grrr... Still trying... To clear jam... from port waist gun.... Hey, this tastes like strawberry jam! Who left their lunch bag tucked into the port waist gun, darnit???? :angry:
If it didn't have peanut butter mixed in then it wasn't mine.
Zone 7—That darn Port Waist gun is STILL jammed. BudPalmer’s identical cousin moves up to the front of the plane to take over the Nose machine gun, while the badly wounded Ignatz Mouse is moved back to the tail and plugged into the heater and oxygen supply next to the wrecked Tail Turret.
2 ME 110s attack. Jack gets one, while the other misses us.
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 11:12
Wow, how'd I live through that?
"Clean living" some might say!
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:13
Okay, I understand your glee over JackA making it through all the runs but blowing up the Stalag was just petty. :tired: :p ;)
Okay, I understand your glee over JackA making it through all the runs but blowing up the Stalag was just petty. :tired: :p ;)
Fortunes of war. It's not like I just make this stuff up, you know. :knockedou
charlesx
10/30/2007, 11:16
Wow, how'd I live through that?
"Clean living" some might say!
You made your Super Senses roll, okay?
Now either start shooting something or get me some jam remover so I can get this port waist gun working again!!
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:17
He didn't blow up the whole Stalag, just Hilda the hermaphrodite spy who was luring you into spilling all the Allies secrets.
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 11:18
You made your Super Senses roll, okay?
Now either start shooting something or get me some jam remover so I can get this port waist gun working again!!
[in the voice of Steven Wright] I poured jam remover on my sandwich and then it was just a peanut butter sandwich[/the voice thingie]
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:20
He didn't blow up the whole Stalag, just Hilda the hermaphrodite spy who was luring you into spilling all the Allies secrets.
No, if he had blown up Helga - Thawmus' lady (who's still grieving his death at the head of CurBludgeon) - that would have been alright but he blew up Hilda. It therefore sets into motion a chain of events that will lead to me being lonely and having to make illicit home movies or something like that.
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:20
Okay, I understand your glee over JackA making it through all the runs but blowing up the Stalag was just petty. :tired: :p ;)
To be fair, he didn't blow up the whole prison - just your date. Shed a tear for her if you must, but it's not like her office (or whatever footlocker analog she might have) is going to raid itself...
Maybe.. maybe I can manage to hold it together long enough to post the results for two zones this time.
Zone 6—The Port Waist gun is STILL jammed. charlesx, are you sure you’re pulling the firing bolt in the right direction?
3 ME 109s attack. They weave through our defensive fire unhurt, but miss us in turn.
Zo... No, I can't do it. (SOB!!)
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:24
To be fair, he didn't blow up the whole prison - just your date. Shed a tear for her if you must, but it's not like her office (or whatever footlocker analog she might have) is going to raid itself...
Oh, hey, raiding her boudoir for...mementos. You know, that's exactly the sick thing I would expect out of a thief like you Hail. *pushes Hail to the ground so he can get to the Hilda's belongings first. ;) *
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:25
All you are going to find is a hidden tape recorder and men's briefs.
charlesx
10/30/2007, 11:25
Zone 6—The Port Waist gun is STILL jammed. charlesx, are you sure you’re pulling the firing bolt in the right direction?
Pulling the firing bolt??? I am trying to scrape the darned jam off with a butter knife!!! What firing bolt should I be pulling??? This wasn't covered in basic training!! Quick, does someone have the user's manual???
DON'T PANIC!!! DON'T PANIC!!!! Serenity NOOOOOW!!! :confused:
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:26
Pulling the firing bolt??? I am trying to scrape the darned jam off with a butter knife!!! What firing bolt should I be pulling??? This wasn't covered in basic training!! Quick, does someone have the user's manual???
DON'T PANIC!!! DON'T PANIC!!!! Serenity NOOOOOW!!! :confused:
We are SO screwed!!!
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:27
All you are going to find is a hidden tape recorder and men's briefs.
I would hope they're still there. I put a lot of effort into hiding them in her room.
Dear God, I'm turning into Carlos. :mad:
Quick, does someone have the user's manual???
Manual? Men don't read no 'manual' son! Figure it out and do it now!
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 11:28
Pulling the firing bolt??? I am trying to scrape the darned jam off with a butter knife!!! What firing bolt should I be pulling??? This wasn't covered in basic training!! Quick, does someone have the user's manual???
DON'T PANIC!!! DON'T PANIC!!!! Serenity NOOOOOW!!! :confused:
We just got a message from Technical Support. They are telling us to reboot the waist gun. What does that mean?!?
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:29
*pushes Hail to the ground so he can get to the Hilda's belongings first. ;) *
Hey, I'm safe back in Bedford Falls, trying to pick up dames by showin' 'em my cyborg digestive tract. As one might imagine, that's having limited success.
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:29
Manual? Men don't read no 'manual' son! Figure it out and do it now!
Yeah, what hair10 said. Does he need a manual to catch bullets? Hell no, he does it instinctively.
Zone 5—The Port Waist gun gives up the ghost, breaking permanently. Meanwhile, a single ME 109 screams down on us in a vertical dive, but misses us.
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:29
We just got a message from Technical Support. They are telling us to reboot the waist gun. What does that mean?!?
I'm surprised you got off of "hold" that fast. :)
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BudPalmer again.
(Someone want to sub some Rep to Bud for me?)
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:30
Real smooth charlesx, you broke the bloody gun. :mad: :laugh:
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:31
Hey, I'm safe back in Bedford Falls, trying to pick up dames by showin' 'em my cyborg digestive tract. As one might imagine, that's having limited success.
What's a cyborg? Will I become one as well?
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 11:32
Real smooth charlesx, you broke the bloody gun. :mad: :laugh:
Just when it looked like charlesx had figured out how to use the damn thing! :rolleyes:
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:33
(Someone want to sub some Rep to Bud for me?)
I got him.
Zone 5—The Port Waist gun gives up the ghost, breaking permanently.
Ah! The Port Waist gun was haunted and charlesx is some kind of exorcist! Put the ghost back, man!
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 11:33
What's a cyborg? Will I become one as well?
You will but don't worry...part of the population will be saved by the Doctor! (Okay, Rose and Mickey are along for part of things too but, y'know, thanks to Hail's sacrifice and desire to make more attractive inner-workings for picking up dates, we all get to meet...The Doctor!)
Zone 4—Back inside the range of our escorts, but no enemy planes appear.
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:34
What's a cyborg? Will I become one as well?
If you live long enough to get your digestive tract replaced with spare parts from the motor pool, then yes, you get to be a cyborg too.
Yeah, what hair10 said. Does he need a manual to catch bullets? Hell no, he does it instinctively.
Damn straight!
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:36
But the war wound that he carried home wasn't really visable
When bullets were forgotton she lived dowdry, down, and miserable
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:37
Zone 4—Back inside the range of our escorts, but no enemy planes appear.
This is like being the top bidder in the last minute of an eBay auction. I'm refreshing, like, every ten seconds...
Zone 3—Still no more enemy planes.
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 11:39
I expect the wing to fall of just before landing, killing us all.
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:40
This is like being the top bidder in the last minute of an eBay auction. I'm refreshing, like, every ten seconds...
Ditto. This can't be great for the servers.
Zone 5—The Port Waist gun gives up the ghost, breaking permanently.
Just great charlesx... it's a waist gun, not one of your girlfriends... :(
EmperorNorton
10/30/2007, 11:42
I expect the wing to fall of just before landing, killing us all.
Bah, I can land the thing with one wing if necessary.
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:43
Just great charlesx... it's a waist gun, not one of your girlfriends... :(
I wish I could rep you again, that was just too damn funny. Can anyone cover me on this one?
Well, I'll go ahead and end the suspense. The next zone is the last one in which we might encounter enemy activity. The last zone in which something might go horribly awry.
Here go's...
On second thought--I've lost interest in the whole thing. Never mind.
Anyone want to talk about who would win a fight between Batman and a B-17?
JackAssterson
10/30/2007, 11:43
Well, I'll go ahead and end the suspense. The next zone is the last one in which we might encounter enemy activity. The last zone in which something might go horribly awry.
Here go's...
On second thought--I've lost interest in the whole thing. Never mind.
Anyone want to talk about who would win a fight between Batman and a B-17?
You're a mean, mean man.
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 11:44
I wish I could rep you again, that was just too damn funny. Can anyone cover me on this one?
Got ya covered.
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:44
Bah, I can land the thing with one wing if necessary.
I say we use charlesx as an extra wing if we need one. He isn't doing anything useful know except being dead weight:devious: :laugh: ;).
hail_eris
10/30/2007, 11:44
Anyone want to talk about who would win a fight between Batman and a B-17?
How much prep time does Batman have?
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 11:45
Well, I'll go ahead and end the suspense. The next zone is the last one in which we might encounter enemy activity. The last zone in which something might go horribly awry.
Here go's...
On second thought--I've lost interest in the whole thing. Never mind.
Anyone want to talk about who would win a fight between Batman and a B-17?
NO, your evil. Everyone give me your votes and we'll hang this evil man.
Vote lynch: Kalel21
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 11:45
How much prep time does Batman have?
Besides, anybody who's ever watched any of the movies or cartoons knows that Batman is death on flying vehicles. How many scenes has his Batwing ever survived?
NO, your evil. Everyone give me your votes and we'll hang this evil man.
Vote lych: Kalel21
You'll notice he didn't do this when we still had negative rep capabilities. :devious:
Okay, sorry about that. Here's the last post for this mission:
Woops, someone just brought me some work to do. Just a minute, guys.
Batman is in stealth behind the cloud and Outwits the Port Waist gun.
Here it is for real:
Zone 2—Still no enemy fighters appear. You’ve… you’ve made it, guys.
Zone 1—Back in England and the weather is clear. Wiping hair10’s blood off the windshield, EmperorNorton brings the plane in for a safe landing.
hair10 and Ignatz Mouse are rushed to the hospital. Both survive, but their wounds are serious enough to earn them their honorable discharges.
But the real news is JackAssterson. He has flown on all 25 missions and lived to tell about it. He gets a Silver Star to hang on his chest next to his Purple Heart. He’s 1 ½ kills over being a Double Ace. He’s congratulated by Gen. Eisenhower. He’s sent home to tour the big cities to appear at war bond rallies. He meets FDR and he’s kissed on the cheek by Betty Grable. He’s interviewed by Edward Murrow on radio and appears in newsreels. He guest-stars on Bob Hope’s radio show, swapping jokes with Hope and fellow guest star Groucho Marx. He finishes the war as a gunnery instructor, passing on his hard-won knowledge to “those danged new recruits who don’t know what they’re gettin’ themselves into.” After his discharge, he appears in a series of B-Westerns as “Sheriff Jack of Tombstone” along with Skippy the Wonder Horse, later earning a fortune in royalties when his movies are sold to television. His autobiography—titled “Never Pass Gas in Your Ball Turret”—becomes required reading at the Air Force Academy. He is renowned all across the country as the greatest war hero ever produced by an HCRealms B-17 thread.
As for the rest of you, those of you in Stalag 13 are liberated in Feb. 1945 by troops from the 4th Armored Division. You return to the States and pick up your lives again, though Rokk Krinn eventually does time for petty theft and often wakes up in the middle of the night screaming Hilda’s name in despair. Thawmus goes into business with Sgt. Shultz, making a fortune selling POW action figures with “patented leg-sweeping action.”
Those of you shipped home wounded gradually heal up and grow old contentedly, telling increasingly wild stories to your grandchildren about exactly how you got wounded.
A TV movie is made in 1978 about Ignatz Mouse’s escape from Stalag 13, with Paul Michael Glaser playing the lead role.
Those of you still flying find the going easier. The new P-51 Mustang fighters have drop tanks on their wings that allow them to escort you clear to the target and back, keeping the worst of the Luftwaffe away from you. Though you still have occasional hair-raising experiences, you all finish your tours of duty without serious incident.
My thanks to everyone who participated in the thread. It was fun and we’ll eventually do it again.
Pilot—EmperorNorton
Co-Pilot—
Bombardier—
Navigator—AlienFlanders (2 kills)
Flight Engineer/Top Turret gunner—Shadow40 (5 kills)
Radio Operator—Kasz216 (1 kill)
Ball Turret Gunner—JackAssterson (11 ½ kills)
Starboard Waist Gunner—scehaono (1 ½ kills)
Port Waist Gunner—charlesx (2 kills)
Tail Gunner—BudPalmer’s identical cousin (3 kills)
Reserves: KitsuShel’s evil twin sister; GroovyBoy; JackofHearts2005; {possible escaped POWs}
INVALIDED HOME: hail eris (navigator); batfink (port waist gunner); St. Cuthbert (tail gunner): DarkCorsair (bombardier); hair10 (co-pilot); Ignatz Mouse (bombardier)
KIA: Melkhor (co-pilot); BudPalmer (tail gunner); Kalel21 (pilot); KitsuShel (co-pilot); Stuart Rex (pilot); theanalogkid (bombardier); madslaust (tail gunner)
POW: CurBludgeon (pilot); Grinner (navigator); Rokk Krinn (flight engineer); Thawmus (radio operator); NAES72 (starboard waist gunner); bigbro911 (port waist gunner); Antipathy (tail gunner)
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 12
Enemy fighters shot down:48
JackAssterson
10/30/2007, 11:50
The irony that I, of all people, managed to survive is...well, it's pretty darn ironic.
Thanks for the game, Kalel.
The irony that I, of all people, managed to survive is...well, it's pretty darn ironic.
Thanks for the game, Kalel.
Speaking of which, you might want to check the Buffy thread.
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 11:53
Awesome thread, Kalel, you suspense-milking attention #@^@#. ;) Thanks for the writeups!
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:54
Hooray! TV Movie!
Thanks, Kal!
And Rokk, really, that bomb did you a huge favor. Not only was Hilda a hermaphrodite spy, s/he had some nasty venerial diseases.
“Never Pass Gas in Your Ball Turret"
I'm having trouble finding that on Baker & Taylor. Perhaps its out of print.
Ignatz_Mouse
10/30/2007, 11:59
On a more serious note, this has been really fun for me for a different reason. My father flew in WWII, albeit in the Pacific, and on long-range recon and not on bombing missions. Still, this has brought back some fond memories of him, as he passed away a few years ago.
He had gotten the nickname gunner despite not manning a gun when, during training, a hot shell casing flew up his sleeve and he yelped and shook it loose.
*Hoists an imaginary beer for dad*
bigbro911
10/30/2007, 12:13
Great game guys... :p
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 12:18
I have avenged my much handsomer cousin (and scorred one more kill than Johnny Panty-Waist Gunner A/K/A charlesx). Life is good!
Thanks to Kalel21 for the fun times (even with the serial ending!:p).
Thanks to Kalel21 for the fun times (even with the serial ending!:p).
Ditto.....
charlesx
10/30/2007, 12:26
(Someone want to sub some Rep to Bud for me?)
Done, but I did it on behalf of Hair10 so it wouldn't go to your head. :p
charlesx
10/30/2007, 12:28
I wish I could rep you again, that was just too damn funny. Can anyone cover me on this one?
Gotcha covered, dude! :cool:
charlesx
10/30/2007, 12:37
I have avenged my much handsomer cousin (and scorred one more kill than Johnny Panty-Waist Gunner A/K/A charlesx). Life is good!
Thanks to Kalel21 for the fun times (even with the serial ending!:p).
Adding my thanks to Kalel21 for bringing us safely home. At least I didn't get my arse shot off like the original BudPalmer.
I am now certain that it was BudPalmer's identical cousin's lunch bag that got stuck in the port waist gun, jamming and finally ruining it. History will validate me and prove me right.
Rokk_Krinn
10/30/2007, 12:46
Yep, I'm sure that's the next big episode of "Histories Mysteries", Chaz. ;)
Thanks again for the game Kal!
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kalel21 again
Shadow40
10/30/2007, 13:08
Great game! I can't believe JackAssterson survived all 25 missions after reading the other B-17 threads.
St. Cuthbert
10/30/2007, 13:09
Thanks for running this game. It is a great read all the time.
DarkCorsair
10/30/2007, 13:22
Kal, what an amazing roller coaster that was. Thanks!
If anyone's interested in a change-of-pace, I've started a "Which Comic Book Plot is Fake" elimination game.
The thread is here, if you want to see how it works:
http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=212928
CurBludgeon
10/30/2007, 14:43
Dude, where's my tank adventure?
Dude, where's my tank adventure?
Ya know, I almost forgot about that. I'll see if I can't play through the first scenario of the tank game and resurrect that thread this weekend.
In the meantime, I can probably manage the Comic Book Plot game as well.
GroovyBoy
10/30/2007, 16:21
D'oh! And here I was, all ready to step in for hair/Ignatz...
BudPalmer
10/30/2007, 16:29
You can have the broken waist gun as a memento of what might have been!
GroovyBoy
10/30/2007, 16:46
You can have the broken waist gun as a memento of what might have been!
I really wanted a dead Nazi to stuff and mount in the living room...
Wohoo. Me 1 Death... like 3.... but in this reality 0 baby!
Do I get any kind of recognition or memorial for being the very first airman killed in the line of duty at least? :)
Do I get any kind of recognition or memorial for being the very first airman killed in the line of duty at least? :)
You're mentioned in all the airman training classes now. "Don't be like Melkhor!!! Remember to duck!!!"
Here's an interesting bit of history. There were two crewmen on the same B-17 who won the Medal of Honor on the same mission:
JAY ZEAMER: Rank and organization: Major, U.S. Army Air Corps. Place and date: Over Buka area, Solomon Islands, 16 June 1943. Entered service at: Machias, Maine. Birth: Carlisle, Pa. G.O. No.: 1, 4 January 1944. Citation: On 16 June 1943, Maj. Zeamer (then Capt.) volunteered as pilot of a bomber on an important photographic mapping mission covering the formidably defended area in the vicinity of Buka, Solomon Islands. While photographing the Buka airdrome. his crew observed about 20 enemy fighters on the field, many of them taking off. Despite the certainty of a dangerous attack by this strong force, Maj. Zeamer proceeded with his mapping run, even after the enemy attack began. In the ensuing engagement, Maj. Zeamer sustained gunshot wounds in both arms and legs, 1 leg being broken. Despite his injuries, he maneuvered the damaged plane so skillfully that his gunners were able to fight off the enemy during a running fight which lasted 40 minutes. The crew destroyed at least 5 hostile planes, of which Maj. Zeamer himself shot down 1. Although weak from loss of blood, he refused medical aid until the enemy had broken combat. He then turned over the controls, but continued to exercise command despite lapses into unconsciousness, and directed the flight to a base 580 miles away. In this voluntary action, Maj. Zeamer, with superb skill, resolution, and courage, accomplished a mission of great value.
JOESEPH SANOSKI: Rank and organization: Second Lieutenant, U.S. Army Air Corps, 43rd Bomber Group, Place and date: Over Buka Area, Solomon Islands, 16 June 1943. Entered service at: Simpson, Pa. Born. 30 January 1915, Simpson, Pa. G.O. No.: 85, 17 December 1943. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action above and beyond the call of duty. On 16 June 1943, 2d Lt. Sarnoski volunteered as bombardier of a crew on an important photographic mapping mission covering the heavily defended Buka area, Solomon Islands. When the mission was nearly completed, about 20 enemy fighters intercepted. At the nose guns, 2d Lt. Sarnoski fought off the first attackers, making it possible for the pilot to finish the plotted course. When a coordinated frontal attack by the enemy extensively damaged his bomber, and seriously injured 5 of the crew, 2d Lt. Sarnoski, though wounded, continued firing and shot down 2 enemy planes. A 20-millimeter shell which burst in the nose of the bomber knocked him into the catwalk under the cockpit. With indomitable fighting spirit, he crawled back to his post and kept on firing until he collapsed on his guns. 2d Lt. Sarnoski by resolute defense of his aircraft at the price of his life, made possible the completion of a vitally important mission.
I have a single suicide mission B-17 thread up if anyone's interested:
http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229975
As soon of the Transformers Mafia game I'm participating in ends, I think it'll be time for the "Flying Fortress of Solitude" to take to the skies again. It'll be a few weeks, but keep an eye out for the thread.
CurBludgeon
10/22/2008, 10:15
Yay! Death from above! Or in our case, from above, below, and every side around us.
Curse you, Nazi fighters and flak guns!
Rokk_Krinn
10/22/2008, 10:20
Wonder how it ended up in the Mafia game forum. :confused:
Kal - what happened to the tank game that we signed for and then you had to briefly postpone? :)
Wonder how it ended up in the Mafia game forum. :confused:
Kal - what happened to the tank game that we signed for and then you had to briefly postpone? :)
Though the tank game is a lot of fun, I'd forgotten that it's a little too long and detailed to make it practical to run a thread about it. I wouldn't be able to play it often enough to post results often enough to keep it interesting.
Whoo-hoo! I get to be the bartender again! :grin:
GroovyBoy
10/22/2008, 16:57
Get me on that plane! I NEED TO KILL ME SOME JERRYS!!!!!
AlienFlanders
10/22/2008, 20:05
Whoo-hoo! I get to be the bartender again! :grin:
Another chance to try out my Tom Swift Parafin powered liver...set em up barkeep!
charlesx
10/22/2008, 22:26
Hey, I would like to be back on the B-17 crew. I'll even bring my own jam remover! These week-long benders at the officers' club are really cutting into my flight time, don'cha know!
Sign me up, Kal!
Space Jawa
10/23/2008, 01:06
You can count on me!
Maybe not to stay alive, but you can count on me!
EDIT: Wait a minute, this is in the wrong thread now! O_O
SIGN UP HERE (http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3951107#post3951107)
for the new B-17 thread.
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