Newbie Mafia Game

[JackAssterson]

Quickie Roolz (most not written by me)

1) Have fun!

2) When you vote, please do so by saying Vote: [Player] in bold. If you wish to change your vote, please say Change Vote: [Player] instead. Voting for 'Nobody' is a valid vote; if a majority votes for 'nobody' then nobody will be lynched and we'll move on to the Night phase.

3) If your role says you -may- PM me a target, you don't have to do anything at night. Even so, it'll speed things along quite a bit if you'd still just send me a PM saying "Not using my [whatever] power tonight, thanks."

4) If your role says you -must- PM me a target, and you do not? I'll pick one randomly. Or, perhaps, not-so-randomly. Don't blame me if you target someone who kills you.

5) You may NOT send a PM to anyone about this game (except me) unless your role explicitly says you can. This is cheating.

6) Do not edit your posts in this thread.

7) Please do not copy-and-paste anything from any PM I send you to the thread.

8) Please do not post in this thread after you are killed. (This is a personal pet peeve. We have so few people in the game you prooobably won't have too long to wait anyhoo :p )

9) Remember, it's just a game. You will get paranoid, you will be stabbed in the back by someone, you will see somebody do or say something stupid and want to smack them. Just breathe deep and relax. If things get out of hand, we do have a mod playing who will forcibly remind you to chill out if needed. It hasn't happened yet, and I'd like to keep it that way.

[JackAssterson]

Homer Simpson plopped onto the couch. He put a pile of stolen stationary from the Nuclear power plant on his TV tray, switched on the TV and sagged his swollen carcass onto the couch.

“Aah. Another day of gleeful indulgence,” he sighed. “If only I knew what those words I just said meant. Oh well. TV GO NOW ON!”

He mashed the remote and readied himself for Buildings Falling Down: The Dry, Dusty Aftermath. Just when the show was getting good he heard a crash in the distance.

“Marge! Stop cooking, cleaning, wiping, polishing, feeding the pets raising the children, looking after me and do something useful!” Homer yelled. “I’m trying to watch TV!”

A few minutes later he heard Marge’s soft gasp of dismay.

Homer got up (it was a commcercial anyway) and joined his wife in the hall. A smashed lamp lay at her feet.

“My best lamp,” Marge moaned. “Who could have done this?”

“Yeah, who could have done this?” said Homer.

Lisa ran downstairs. “Mom! I almost finished my science project and…oh my gosh! Who could have done this?”

Bart scurried downstairs to join the family.

“Hey, what’s everyone looking at…WOW! Lamp’s busted. Who could have done that?”

All eyes turned to Bart.

“BESIDES me. Come on, destruction of property is so season one. I’m all about witty insights and biting social commentary now.”

Homer grabbed Bart by the throat.

“I’ll GIVE YOU SOCIAL COMMENTARY!” he roared. “YOU BROKE YOUR MOTHER’S LAMP!”

“Ack….no…I…ack…” Bart choked.

“Oh, Bart. How could you.” said Lisa sadly.

Maggie toddled by and even she seemed to eye Bart with an accusatory gaze.

“You people think I did it? Fine. I’ll prove to you that I didn’t do it! And it’s not just a catchphrase this time!”

Just then, through a window floated a skinny scientist wearing a jetpack.

“You people have NO idea what’s going on, nn-hey! You’ve GOT to GLARVIN!”

“We’ve got to Glarvin?” said Marge.

“I had an uncle who did that once,” said Homer. “The Feds are still looking for him. Heh, heh, heh.”

“ACKK!” said the scientist as he fell to the ground unconscious.

The family looked at each other, concern on every face. What was going on?

Someone, somewhere watched the proceedings with leathery glee.

“Excellent,” he said.

JackAssterson is KO'd. He was Professor Frink, brilliant scientist who swooned at a shockingly inconvenient moment.

The Show Segment (day phase) will now commence. After a majority has been reached we will enter Commercial Break (night phase). With a cast of seven 4 votes is a majority.

Players remaining:

da-Craig-O
Thawmus
KitsuShel
Antipathy
Gambit
jsoccerdude
Iron Ham

[DocDoom187]

Hey, i had dibs on simpsons mafia!!!!!



*Won't post anymore since hes not playing*

[JackAssterson]

Hey, i had dibs on simpsons mafia!!!!!


This one's just a lil' quick one. You still have dibs on the "full version" as it were.

[DocDoom187]

This one's just a lil' quick one. You still have dibs on the "full version" as it were.
No biggy JackA. Just do it justice!

[jsoccerdude]

Vote: Nobody

[KitsuShel]

Lynch vote: Noone

[Iron Ham]

Vote lynch No one

[Antipathy]

Lynch: No one

[Iron Ham]

Majority = Reached.

[JackAssterson]

After a shockingly brief initial discussion,it was decided that it was time to investigate the mystery more carefully. The family split off and tore through the house looking for clues (Some heading straight to the fridge. We might find something in a Duff can, Marge! Really!)

Little did they know that they were being watched by sinister forces as of yet unknown...

The Commercial Break has now begun. There was No Lynch. The next Show Segment will begin when I have all PM's in. If you have a Commercial Break power and do not wish to use it, PM me that as well.

[JackAssterson]

Show Segment 2

There was a flurry of activity in the Simpson household, but poor Marge was having none of it.

"It's not even my BEST lamp," she muttered. "I mean, I have three or four more just like it in the basement..."

There was a knock on the door. Marge reluctantly answered it.

"If you're an angry mob you can just go away. We're booked full up till Friday," she said.

"Oh no, madame, I'm no angry mob," said the strange little tuxedo wearing man at the door. "I'm a HAPPY mob...of one! Here to tell you about the latest in Amalgated Spatware! Did you know that every thirty seconds a new pair of spats becomes soiled through improper haberdashery?"

"I didn't know that," Marge said truthfully.

"You'll find more information right here...YAH HA!" the odd man said as he pressed a hidden button in his tux. A green gas escaped from his boutonnière and enveloped Marge's face.

"Ooooh," she said, "it's like I'm having a bake sale and everyone's invited! oooh." She collapsed in a heap on the doorstep.

"Quick, bury the corpse then dispose of the others. We have to find those papers," said the little man to the bushes.

"Um, she's still alive," said a voice from the bushes.

"She is? Fine then, cremation, what do I care," said the little man.

"I'll just find a nice burlap sack," said the voice...

Antipathy is KO'd. He was Marge Simpson, a Good-aligned housewife who just wanted everyone to play nice.

The Show Segment will continue until we have a majority vote. With 6 cast members remaining, 4 is a majority.

Players remaining:

da-Craig-O
Thawmus
KitsuShel
Gambit
jsoccerdude
Iron Ham

[KitsuShel]

Lynch vote: Iron Ham

[jsoccerdude]

Lynch vote: KitsuShel

[da-Craig-O]

Wait...what? Why?

I'm so confused.

[jsoccerdude]

Wait...what? Why?

I'm so confused.

I don't like girls.
:p :p

I keed, I keed.

[da-Craig-O]

OK. So, Shel, why do you say Iron Ham?

Who do we string up? I can't think for myself here people.

[Thawmus]

Do either of you have a reason for your lynchings???

[Gambit]

Just what someone would say if they didn't want to draw attention to themselves.

Plus, I think someone is trying to direct attention away from certain people.

Lynch Vote: Thawmus

[KitsuShel]

OK. So, Shel, why do you say Iron Ham?

Who do we string up? I can't think for myself here people.

*Looks suspiciously at Iron Ham*

:angry:

:mad:

Lynch: Iron Ham

[da-Craig-O]

hmmm....

Vote: KitsuShel

SOMEONE is shady, that's for sure.

[JackAssterson]

Vote Tally:

Iron Ham 1 (KitsuShel

KitsuShel 2 (jsoccerdude, da-Craig-o)

Thawmus 1 (Gambit)

With 6 players remaining 4 is a majority.

[Iron Ham]

*glares at KitsuShel*

Lynch Vote: Shel

[da-Craig-O]

Thawmus? What sayest thou?

[JackAssterson]

Vote Tally:

Iron Ham 1 (KitsuShel

KitsuShel 3 (Iron Ham, jsoccerdude, da-Craig-o)

Thawmus 1 (Gambit)

With 6 players remaining 4 is a majority.

[Thawmus]

I honestly don't know what the evidence being presented at the moment are, to be honest.....

We'll see what happens after this lynch, but this could turn out really badly.

Vote: Kitsushel

[KitsuShel]

I honestly don't know what the evidence being presented at the moment are, to be honest.....

We'll see what happens after this lynch, but this could turn out really badly.

Vote: Kitsushel

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

*Crawls away*

[KitsuShel]

Lynch Iron Ham!

*cries for her mommy*

[JackAssterson]

Nobody could concentrate with that blasted baby crying. In all the confusion someone put it to bed where she closed her eyes and slept through the remainder of the adventure.

KitsuShel is all tuckered out. She was Good aligned Maggie Simpson, and you monsters just lynched a baby.

Commercial Break starts now.

Players remaining:

Players remaining:

da-Craig-O
Thawmus
Gambit
jsoccerdude
Iron Ham

[JackAssterson]

Bart was aghast. "How could you do it, man? I've already got a punishment backlog dating back to the early nineties!"

"I didn't mean to break the lamp, Bart," the shadowy figure said. "The machine was too powerful! It got out of control! Motion, motion, motion everywhere! But you'll see...you'll all see! This is the project that gets me out of this podunk burg! Perpetual motion is the wave of the future!"

With that, the figure pressed a button and the whole house began to quake with unimaginable energy.

"You see? With this device I can generate the same amout of power as ONE FIFTH OF A DOUBLE A BATTERY!" the figure cried triumphantly.

"Oopsie, can't have that," said a little man, conveniently enough also in the shadows. "Here, have a nice dose of Essence of Power Plant to soothe your jangled nerves." There was a hiss of escaping gas, then the shadowy figure crumpled to the floor.

"Must study for just five...more...minutes..."

"Aye Carumba!" said Bart.

Gambit is KO'd. He was Lisa Simpson, Neutral-Aligned little girl with a dark, heavily lamp-related secret.

With four players remaining, three votes is a majority.

Remaining Cast:

da-Craig-O
Thawmus
jsoccerdude
Iron Ham

[da-Craig-O]

OOOOHHHHH.

Does this mean that there is only 1 mafia since the game is still on?

[Thawmus]

I get the feeling that da-Craig-O is our killer. Just looking at his trends thus far in this short short game.

Vote: da-Craig-O




Feel bad about Shel, though.

[Iron Ham]

Yeah, I can't believe we lynched a fraggin' baby.

I also have reason to agree with Thawmus...

Vote: Da-Craig-O

[jsoccerdude]

Lynch: Iron Ham

[Thawmus]

Lynch: Iron Ham

Let me get this straight....there's a neutral character that decides to try and lynch Iron Ham, and you're trying to clean up after them today?

That significantly confirms what I wanted to know.

Change vote: jsoccerdude

[Iron Ham]

*sigh* I think you were on to something with Craig, but this is now a matter of self-preservation (I don't want to hang!)

Lynch jsoccer

[jsoccerdude]

I have significant reason to believe lynching Iron Ham helps in the long run, guys.

Believe me. Or don't. but it is in your best interest to believe me.

[JackAssterson]

jsoccerdude: 2 (Thawmus, Iron Ham)

Iron Ham: 1 (jsoccerdude)

Three is a majority.

[Thawmus]

I have significant reason to believe lynching Iron Ham helps in the long run, guys.

Believe me. Or don't. but it is in your best interest to believe me.

It's in my best interest at this point to make the most logical decision available.

A Neutral character attempted to implicate Iron Ham, for which I'm sure the reasoning is obvious now. And we made the right choice, in eliminating said neutral character. Wildcards aren't a good deal in Mafia.

There are too few people to be in this game for there to be more than one killer, if there's a neutral character.

Therefore, I'm looking to pressure people into making bad choices. The bad choice today was attempting to lynch Iron Ham. da-Craig-O didn't take the bait. You did.

Logically speaking, you're the most suspect of anyone in the room. If we find out that we're wrong, then Iron Ham will have a very short victory.

[jsoccerdude]

arrg. Just like my other mafia game, I'm now forced to give away secrets in order to try and save my #####.

I have a night power. I used it to investigate Iron Ham, and I have found out he is on the bad side, or in this case, the mafia.

So is it not in best interest to lynch the mafia?!

[da-Craig-O]

####.

Who do I trust here?

With only 4 of us left I suppose it's not a bad idea to role claim, seeing as how Thawmus wanted to Lynch me.

I'm your good buddy, Homer Simpson. Mmmmmm....donuts.

Now I have to use my pea sized brain to decide if jsoccer or Thawmus is the one to trust.

D'oh!

[Iron Ham]

arrg. Just like my other mafia game, I'm now forced to give away secrets in order to try and save my #####.

I have a night power. I used it to investigate Iron Ham, and I have found out he is on the bad side, or in this case, the mafia.

So is it not in best interest to lynch the mafia?! Nice try. The problem here is, I'm the cop. Hell, I'm Chief Wiggum.

[Iron Ham]

####.

Who do I trust here?

With only 4 of us left I suppose it's not a bad idea to role claim, seeing as how Thawmus wanted to Lynch me.

I'm your good buddy, Homer Simpson. Mmmmmm....donuts.

Now I have to use my pea sized brain to decide if jsoccer or Thawmus is the one to trust.

D'oh! Thamwus is innocent. That much I'm sure of.

[da-Craig-O]

So the question is still to trust jsoccor or Iron Ham.

We could spend all day with this so I'm going with my gutty works.

Vote: Lynch jsoccordude

I don't like to wait around for things like 'facts' or 'proof'.

mmmmmm....forbidden donut.

[jsoccerdude]

I'm Bart Simpson.

And now everyone goes "Well damn, he's the trouble maker!"

But I assure you.

Come on guys. How many horror movies have you seen where the cop is the bad guy?! And the trouble maker everyone suspects is really a hero?!

It's a classic formula, and yet you all still want to play into Wiggum's trap!

[da-Craig-O]

Why You Little!!

[JackAssterson]

And that's three!

************************************************

Homer knew it all along. He'd ALWAYS known it. Whenever anything happened in Springfield, who was to blame?

The boy.

It was the boy.

It was the boy.

He grabbed Bart by the neck and squeezed.

"WHY YOU LITTLE..."

"Ack! Ack! Dad! I didn't do it!"

"NO MORE CATCH PHRASES!"

As Homer lovingly strangled his son, a nasally voice cut through the screaming and gasping for air.

"I've got it, sir!" said Waylon Smithers, emerging from under the couch as he held Homer's stolen stationary aloft.

"Excellent," said Mr Burns as he emerged from the Simpson's chimney all covered in soot.

"Ah, sir, the door was unlocked," said Smithers.

"Ah. Anyhoo, fellow I've never seen before, I suppose you're wondering why I...um, excuse me," said Mr. Burns as Homer continued strangling Bart with no concern for the two prowlers in his midst.

"I suppose it's of no interest to you that this stationary you swiped from my plant to use as a makeshift coaster was actually my delightfully evil plan to melt all the ice in Eskimo-land, forcing them to purchase their ice from me, Monty Burns?"

Homer kept strangling Bart.

"And I suppose you don't care that I've been systematically luring your family into fiendish traps, eliminating them one by one in a bid to silence you all once and for all?""

Homer kept strangling Bart.

"I...see." said Mr. Burns. "You may be an oaf and a lummox, but you've got stick-to-it-ivness. I like that. Smithers, get this fellow a job at the plant."

"Mr. Burns, this is Homer Simpson, sir. From Sector 7-G."

"Excellent, quick work, Smithers. Well, off to melt some ice caps. Toodles!"

"Sir, while we're at it, shouldn't we revive the Simpson family? To avoid murder charges if nothing else?"

Mr. Burns shrugged.

"Oh, I suppose so. But only so I can write that knockout gas off as a business expense."

******************************************************

The GAME IS OVER! With the Mafia outnumbering the Townies 2-1, they win the game! Congratulations to Thawmus and Iron Ham, Mr. Burns and Waylon Smithers!

[JackAssterson]

The Family

Homer Simpson-- da-craig-o You are Homer Simpson. You were really looking forward to watching your show, but despite your oafish exterior you truly due care about Marge and want to find out what’s going on in the house.

Due to your importance to the show (it basically revolves around you) you cannot be night killed. There may be other facets to this power that are unrevealed at this time.

Your alignment is Good. You win when all mysteries have been resolved.


Marge Simpson-- Antipathy you are Marge Simpson. You almost wish everyone wasn’t making such a fuss, but you really did like that lamp. Kind of.

You’re a smothery mother, and you really don’t want anyone getting hurt. Every Commercial Break you may PM me the name of one person who you want protected. That person cannot be night killed during that Commercial Break. You may not choose yourself for this power.

Your alignment is Good. You win when all mysteries have been resolved.


Bart Simpson -- you are Bart Simpson. Your reputation as a bad boy is well deserved, but this time you really DIDN’T do it. You were nowhere near that lamp and you’re not going to take this lying down, man. Every Commercial Break you may PM me the name of one person you are investigating to find out their alignment.

Your alignment is Good. You win when all mysteries have been resolved.


Maggie Simpson -- you are Maggie Simpson. Your presence on the show is subtle, but everybody loves a baby. You don’t know how to talk yet, but your wily infant brain and penchant for mischief more than make up for that.

You may not use words when you post -- you must post entirely in smilies, *points to the sky* and so on. You may quote posts, but the quote must be the whole post.

Each Commercial Break you may PM me the name of one player to discover anyone who targets them during that Break.

Your alignment is Good. You win when all mysteries have been resolved.

The Neutral Party

Lisa Simpson -- You have a terrible secret. You broke the lamp. It was an accident -- your perpetual motion machine got a little TOO much perpetual motion and smashed it but good. You hate shifting the blame to Bart like this, but, well…actually, shifting the blame to Bart isn’t that bad. It is BART we’re talking about here. You don’t need to feel guilty…right?

Each Commercial Break you may PM me the name of one player. That player will lose their Commercial Break power, if they had one.

Your alignment is Neutral. You win by surviving to the end of the episode -- no matter WHO wins.

The Mafia

Mr. Burns -- You are Mr. Burns. That infernal…what’s his name again? Domer Blimpson? Anyway, that infernal oaf’s “stationary” he so casually stole was actually documents detailing your latest evil scheme involving Eskimos, igloos a solar mirror and…well, it’s actually a pretty complicated evil plan. But it’s yours and you HAVE to get it back! You managed to sabotage Mr. Frink before he could tell the Blimpsons the truth…now you need to finish the job.

You may communicate with Smithers (Iron Ham) via PM. As long as Smithers is alive, you will reveal a Good alignment if investigated.

Your alignment is Evil. You when when those blasted Simpsons are disposed of.

Iron Ham Smithers -- You are Smithers. You love your job, you love your boss…you REALLY love your boss. He’s gotten himself into a jam, what with that stationary Homer stole from the plant actually being Mr. Burns’ evil plan involving Eskimos, igloos and…well, you don’t really understand the plan. But you DO know that it’s evil and you have to get it back for Mr. Burns. You managed to sabotage Professor Frink before he could tell the Simpsons the truth…now you need to finish the job.

You may communicate with Mr. Burns (Thawmus) via PM. If anyone targets Mr. Burns (Thawmus) they have a 50% chance of targeting you instead as you take one for the team.

Your alignment is Evil. You win when those blasted Simpsons are disposed of.

[Thawmus]

Ok, I was wondering why the game wasn't already over, actually....they couldn't have lynched either of us this day phase.....


I figured one of them had a double-vote power, and that's why they were still in it...

[jsoccerdude]

They were in it together! Gah!

(this might be considered breaking the "no after death post" rule, but they've won, so I t hink it's ok.)

Good game!

[Thawmus]

They were in it together! Gah!

(this might be considered breaking the "no after death post" rule, but they've won, so I t hink it's ok.)

Good game!

Yup, pretty much. Iron Ham and I just bamboozled the lot of you. Once you went after Iron Ham, I knew that our only shot was convincing Craig, so that's what I did.

Still not sure it was necessary, though. You guys weren't able to lynch either of us anymore.

[jsoccerdude]

Forget what was necessary! It was a damn cool idea to divide and conquer.

After I lynched Maggie, I wanted to find out some stuff about Iron Ham since she voted for him. By the time I learned he was evil, it was too late.

[Magnito]

A real game will actually be easier then this for here, almost half the people were mafia/neutral.

[Magnito]

*by real game, I meant a full game. I am not implying that this game wasn't real.

[JackAssterson]

Still not sure it was necessary, though. You guys weren't able to lynch either of us anymore.

If Homer was in direct danger of a lynch there were some game effects that had a small to medium chance of happening (due to it being Homer, after all -- random carp always happens when he's around) -- at least one would have kept the game going.

Unfortunately, 'twas all for naught when you guys decided to pick on Bart. :p

[da-Craig-O]

Yeah, I was certain that there was only 1 mafia when the game was still live. I was hoping that by roleclaiming that someone would challenge it by claiming Homer themselves. This, of course, would have revealed the guilty man.

Oh well. There was little to do being outnumbered.

Thanks again for this game everyone.

[KitsuShel]

Forget what was necessary! It was a damn cool idea to divide and conquer.

After I lynched Maggie, I wanted to find out some stuff about Iron Ham since she voted for him. By the time I learned he was evil, it was too late.

Which is why, with my last breath, I said Lynch Iron Ham! :laugh:


Next time, trust the dead good guy. :p

[da-Craig-O]

On a side note, while I was waiting for this Newbie game to get off the ground, I signed up for one at Mafiascum.

Needless to say that we still haven't voted on the first day. Sheesh!

[JackAssterson]

I took one look at Mafiascum and fled screaming into the night. They were using so much jargon it might as well as have been Esperanto. :confused: