NationStates [Archive] - Page 3

MSU

01/21/2008, 16:32

My political freedoms are going down as my government stabilizes. Not sure how I feel about that.

My last issue was:

After several reports of pet dragons violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
"These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says George W. Utopia, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"
[Accept]

"Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover Naki Barry, covered in scars from previous encounters with dragons. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"
[Accept]

"I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says Elizabeth Frederickson, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

"Who cares!?" screams Klaus Wu as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"
[Accept]

Who knew that pet dragons could be so vicious??? LOL

I chose 3 because it was the least outrageous of them all.

kontrol

01/21/2008, 16:36

Judging from how most other issues go, I think you'll end up with a wild population of dragons on your hands

malakim2099

01/21/2008, 16:38

I would choose 2, just because the person defending them got attacked in the middle of the question. :)

JKLantern

01/21/2008, 16:47

The Issue
Members of a new weird religious cult, called the Order of Violet, ask for the government to appease their mighty god by offering Her a sacrifice of the human variety.

The Debate
"What have we got to lose?" says religious freedoms advocate Thomas Love. "Just cut up a few homeless folk - it appeases this group's bloodthirsty Goddess, gets rid of unsightly bums that drain welfare, and everybody goes home happy."
[Accept]

"We must go much further than a few beggars!" argues the overzealous High Member of the Order of Violet, May Wall. "You must pass a law that everyone’s first born child must be slaughtered, on live TV if possible. Think of the viewing figures!"
[Accept]

"You aren't going to listen to these whackjob Violetists, are you?" comments Beth Steele while leading a prayer group. "Human sacrifices! Surely we're too civilized to permit such barbaric practices! These lunatic fringe groups should be outlawed, their leaders should be executed!"
[Accept]

"Who's being a lunatic?" retorts Fleur Falopian of the A Utopian Way of Life Humanitarian Society. "I agree that these practices ought to be outlawed, but instead of sinking to the same level of these fanatics and killing our fellow people, why not simply start a re-education program? Even the worst person can be rehabilitated into a useful member of society, with enough time, care, and lots and lots of funding!"
[Accept]
*****************************

This is just too absurd to even contemplate. I dismissed it.

My people best start praying that they don't bring up this issue...

kontrol

01/22/2008, 14:17

Completely forgot about this. No neglecting your nations people!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Scordrag is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.
The Debate

1. Pete Hendrikson, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. "The language of Scordrag is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do." Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, "If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody's overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street."
[Accept]

2. "Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says Anne-Marie Dodinas, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Scordrag!"
[Accept]

3. Randy Silk, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. "The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Scordrag needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity without favoritism."
[Accept]

kontrol

01/22/2008, 14:19

A group of local motorists have assembled outside of City Hall to protest against the shoddy state of roads in Scordrag.
The Debate

1. "These roads are terrible!" shouts Fleur Fellow, president of the Scordrag Auto Club. "Every few feet there's a crack, or a pothole, or a gravel patch, or the remains of someone else's car! It's really too much! And just look at this-" he adds, rubbing a nasty bruise on his forehead - "I got that from my rear-view mirror after flying over a bump on Main Street! These roads must be fixed! There really needs to be vast improvements made now, before anyone gets seriously hurt."
[Accept]

2. Roger Thiesen, avowed anti-spending advocate, disagrees: "Road construction? What a waste of dragoons! If people can still drive on them, then the roads are fine as they are. Spending more to make trivial repairs would just be a waste of the tax payers' money! We should just ignore these whiners and leave the roads as they are and if the drivers don't like that - well... then they can just learn to walk like the rest of us."
[Accept]

3. "Why on Earth is it the government's responsibility to build and maintain roads?" asks bicyclist Lars Thiesen, pausing for breath. "Not all citizens own automobiles, you know. The government should be trying to make life better for all, not just car owners! If people want roads, then let private industry build them, and they can charge tolls to the people who actually drive on them. Leave the government out of it!"
[Accept]

Rokk_Krinn

01/22/2008, 14:54

Wow...

....Liberal Democratic Socialists.

I've somehow elected Hillary to power. :confused:

kontrol

01/22/2008, 14:58

I was that for about two days. Not sure how but not much makes sense in this game. I'm back to NYT Democracy, even though my three tiered alignment stayed exactly the same.

Thawmus

01/22/2008, 15:00

I posted this in our region as well.....

How the hell did The Empire of Thawmus end up being #2 for Religion?

We don't even have an institutionalized religion!

Is everyone else an atheist state, or what??? :confused:

JKLantern

01/22/2008, 15:00

One of today's issues...

The Issue
As crime rates rise, some in the community are calling for increased policing.

The Debate
"Just the other day, I got mugged in the broad daylight!" says ruffian Beth King. "And the ironic thing is I had just stuck up this other guy. When muggers are getting mugged, even I have to admit that crime has gotten out of control. We do need more police."

"The solution to crime is not more police!" says noted sociologist and occasional crime novelist Gregory Chicago. "Studies repeatedly show that crime is caused by poverty and poor education. Increase government spending in these areas, and crime will fall! Maybe not overnight, but it will happen."

"Yeah, good luck with that," says conservative leader and gun enthusiast Hack Bush. "Look, we do need more police, that's clear. But that's not enough. We need real punishments: sentences that will act as a genuine deterrent to people considering a life of crime. Like public floggings."

We Bartonellans are a hardy breed. Our punishments reflect that. So Speaks Big Chief JK.

Rokk_Krinn

01/22/2008, 15:01

I'm divided on the graffiti issue.

See, I'm oddly proud of crime being non-existent in my nation as well as there being no prisons (I'm guessing the two are related. :) ) so making it a jailable offense to vandalize might ruin that. The thing is I don't particularly like the idea of a bunch of property being defaced and vandalized.

Mind you, it would help if the "pro-graffiti" arguement didn't point out the greatness of the "racial expletives." :ermm:

hail_eris

01/22/2008, 16:57

How the hell did The Empire of Thawmus end up being #2 for Religion?

We don't even have an institutionalized religion!

Is everyone else an atheist state, or what??? :confused:
Near as I can tell, the idiot savants in Bjorkina Faso are going to stumble their way to world supremacy through a combination of random social initiatives, a bizarre embrace of the death penalty, and the totemic worship of whatever inanimate objects happen to catch their eyes. Django-Reinhardt has nothing going for it but vast tracts of rainforest...

Doombot 3.1

01/23/2008, 10:16

#1 in Soda Sales! Yay! :grin:

kontrol

01/23/2008, 10:26

This'll be interesting. Compassion and logistics clash here. I already know where this one is heading...2's not an option though.
--------------------------------------------------------
After several bloody conflicts in nearby regions, a stream of asylum-seekers and refugees has been spotted heading for Scordrag's shores.
The Debate

1. "Some of these people have endured terrible hardships to reach our borders," says International Red Cross spokesperson Roger Bush. "We must welcome these unfortunates with open arms. Let the world see that Scordrag does not turn its back on those in need!"
[Accept]

2. "These grasping freeloaders will swamp our culture and traditions!" argues talk-radio host Clint Jong-Il. "First they want welfare, next thing you know they're taking our jobs -- and you know they won't bother to learn our language. I say charity begins at home -- and this isn't their home. This is the world's problem, not ours."
[Accept]

3. Economics Professor Randy Gutenberg offers an alternative. "There is no question that we have to help those who reach out to us in their darkest hour. But on the other hand, we cannot help everybody. So let's just take the ones who are willing to keep our streets clean and our drains flowing in return for a subsistence wage."
[Accept]

Doombot 3.1

01/23/2008, 10:33

That's definitely one of the better balanced issues I've seen.

kontrol

01/23/2008, 10:39

It really is, I actually have to think for more than 2 seconds on it. :)

JKLantern

01/23/2008, 11:26

Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.

The Debate
Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a "Dying with Dignity" bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.

"I understand this is a very difficult time for these people," says freelance medical writer Hope Mombota. "But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."

"I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia," says Bishop Clint du Pont. "The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God's divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem."

Big Chief JK is a caring leader, and desires to cure his people, and shall only smite them when they turn from the true path our ancestors set before us.

Doombot 3.1

01/23/2008, 14:06

The Issue
After a recent survey discovered that nearly 40% of all citizens in Saralto are single, there has been an increasingly loud call for the legalisation of prostitution.

The Debate
"I just can't get a girl no matter what I do," laments acne-afflicted nerd, Sue-Ann Silk. "If the cops would just look the other way about prostitution, it'd make my life much easier. Yeah, I'd be risking all sorts of diseases, but it's my body isn't it?"
[Accept]

"We can't allow this to happen!" protests Dr. Al Steele, senior pathologist of Saralto's largest hospital. "Prostitution is a dangerous business and must remain illegal! People need to be more aware of the consequences that could follow like the risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, or even syphilis. I say we get some funding for a large awareness programme on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe then people will act responsibly between the covers. It'll be expensive sure, but well worth it."
[Accept]

"Not so fast now!" interjects daring entrepreneur, Calvin Rifkin. "Why don't we just have the prostitution industry run by the government? By letting the government regulate prostitution, Saralto can force any patrons to undergo tests for diseases, make prostitutes have regular medical check-ups and pay a portion of their profits to the government. Of course we'd still have to put more policemen on the streets to keep illegal brothels from popping up and make sure the hospitals are equipped to handle the extra workload, but you can always raise taxes to account for that."
[Accept]

Rokk_Krinn

01/23/2008, 14:13

As an owner of a long-time family corporation this one is actually fairly interesting:

The Issue
Thousands of business men and women have taken to the streets in protest of their working conditions and pay. "It's not fair that we can't have a union," says Calvin Clinton, VP of Sales at SlothCorp. "Just because we make six figures doesn't mean we don't deserve overtime too! It's high time that the lower classes come to appreciate our hard efforts."

The Debate
Melbourne Hamilton, secretary of commerce, recommends you ignore these commies. "Free enterprise means not having to succumb to unions, and the world has enough unions already."
[Accept]

Sue-Ann Clinton, secretary of labor, advises you to adjust laws to allow white-collar unions. "It only makes sense that all of the workers in our nation have equal opportunity to benefit from the advantages of collective bargaining."
[Accept]

"Get these people out of the street!" advises Zeke Li, local police chief. "They're blocking traffic, and making it impossible for the common man to drive to the megamall!"
[Accept]

Finally, Right Reverend Buffy Love proclaims, "The downtrodden are suffering at the hands of the MAN, and these wealthy upper shelf vice presidents are asking to make the rich richer and the poor poorer! The only reason the common worker needs a union is to be able to fight against the oppression of these slave drivers! It's ludicrous that these greedy scrooges are asking for even MORE money! Send them packing and raise taxes on the wealthy to bring more equality to our nation!"
[Accept]

The last one -almost- has me except for the bit about raising taxes on the rich. If it had just been a case of "No, the CEO's can't have a union" that would be one thing but taxing them further just seems a tad...vindictive?

kontrol

01/23/2008, 15:16

We're not eating our national animal. Let's see what loony toon description I'll get tommorow.

-----------------------
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Scordrag's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that dolphins could be added to the menu.
The Debate

1. "The fact is, the dolphin population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Konrad Winters. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have dolphin kebabs, dolphin pies, dolphin-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
[Accept]

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about dolphin over-population," says random passer-by Sue-Ann Gutenberg, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
[Accept]

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Al Jones. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The dolphins were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The dolphin is part of what makes Scordrag a great nation!"

kontrol

01/23/2008, 15:17

Economy's going to suffer most likely.

JKLantern

01/23/2008, 15:40

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show "60 Minutes" ran a report on Bartonella's rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

The Debate
"There's a simple solution," says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. "Divorce should be illegal. 'For better or worse,' anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be."

John Black, author of the hit book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,' has a simpler solution. "If couples would just call each other 'darling' once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse 'darling' at least once a day, or face a fine."

"There's a simple way to boost the marriage rate," says gay rights activist Samuel Jones. "Abolish those arcane laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It's obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones."

You will love your spouse in Bartonella, or Big Chief JK will personally come down and kick your ###!

Maniac_nmt

01/23/2008, 16:07

The Allied States of New Outremer joins your confederation.

Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Strong
Political Freedoms: Excellent

How the heck did I wind up a New York Times Democracy? I hate that lousy dish rag of a paper.

Antipathy

01/23/2008, 17:15

After a series of bloody wars between the nations of Maxtopia and North Bigtopia, fights have broken out in the streets between immigrants in Antigony who came from the warring nations.
The Debate

1. "Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances," begins Naki Wall, whose opinions form the book '101 Arguments FOR Slavery'. "What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Antigony folks slaves! I mean, who in Antigony wouldn't like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!"
[Accept]

2. "I am shocked and appalled at what my colleague is suggesting!" exclaims Beth King, President of the Civil Rights Union of Antigony. "Slavery? We should punish these offenders, yes, but send them to rehabilitation centres instead! As for the ethnic squabbles, programs in school should begin to stop these racist attitudes in childhood! All it will take is some slight fortification to the education budget!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

3. A quiet old man stands up to speak. "Now, I may be a quiet old man, but I believe that these ethnic disputes are none of the government's business. It's not our war anyway, so it's not our problem. I'm sure if you leave it alone, it'll work itself out. Just think of the money that would be saved if the police don't have to be paid to deal with this!"
[Accept]

4. "It's not our war? It's not our war?" cries (in)famous Antigony-born fascist Charles Trax. "Well maybe it's time it became our war! Antigony should take a more active, and by 'active' I mean 'hostile', role in international politics! This ethnic squabbling will be over when the war is over, and WE can end that war and purge the impure! What's with the Sun?! Sieg Antigony!"
[Accept]

A study has shown that an increasing proportion of teenagers in Antigony are falling pregnant.
The Debate

1. "We need comprehensive sex education to be mandatory in all schools," says Naki Gutenberg, a teacher while tidying away some diagrams that make your eyes water. "The plain fact is that teenagers will experiment with sexual intercourse despite what society or their parents wish. So I say give these kids free contraceptives, and make them fully aware of the consequences of their actions. Information is what they need, not condemnation. If they ignore it then hey, it's their own damn fault."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "If you give them contraception it'll just encourage them to do... terrible things," says Samuel Utopia, a religious parent and member of Moral Minority. "And what's with giving them so much information? There's even diagrams for goodness sake! Have they never heard of 'monkey see, monkey do'? They'll just go and try it out, mark my words! The solution is simple: girls should be kept at home and away from the monkey house of lustful impetuousness and young males until they are of marriageable age. Teaching teenagers abstinence and chastity is the key, not giving them step-by-step manuals."
[Accept]

3. "However sex education is taught, it is still social engineering and so undermines parental authority," says conservative newspaper columnist Tobias Bush. "My own son learned about something called 'homosexuality' the other day! For shame! We all know it should be Adam and Eve, not Adam and... Geoff? Anyway, my point is that sex education should be dropped from schools and instead taught by parents the way they see fit. That way children will get consistent messages and parents, not society, will cop the blame if any of their kids fall pregnant."
[Accept]

4. "No-one's asked me my opinion yet," says Catherine Gratwick, a teenage mother as she bottle-feeds her baby. "I think it's perfectly obvious what the cause of teenage pregnancy is - teenage boys! My son's father is the one that got me into this mess. He's the one who pressured me into having sex, but all the education is focused on the girls. Teenage fathers should be made responsible for their actions for once and be made to join the military so they can send their wages back to pay for their children's upkeep. If that's not a deterrent, then I don't know what is."
[Accept]

5. "I think we've missed the fact that maybe this teenage pregnancy phenomenon is not such a bad thing," says Jazz Dodinas, a famous demographer. "We need the population to grow, we need more people of working age, we need more tax for public services, et cetera. There are plenty of sound demographical reasons why we should be encouraging women to have families. By all means educate them about the dangers, but I don't think we ought to discourage teenagers from procreating - it's nature's way you know."
[Accept]

Issues of mine.

Antipathy

01/23/2008, 17:25

A monstrous debate between pro-life groups and pro-choice groups has erupted as a BackwardLand citizen launches an high-court appeal to overturn an ancient law prohibiting all abortions. Pressure groups have demanded the government step in to make a ruling.
The Debate

1. Samuel Mistletoe, lawyer for the woman known only as Miss X, says, "It is Miss X's right to choose! It's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it. In the interest of women's rights, abortion MUST be legalised throughout the country!"
[Accept]

2. "I most vehemently disagree," says Prudence King, a pro-life activist. "I'm all for women's rights in general, but what about the child? Does it have no rights either? Abortion is totally immoral and I insist that it be outlawed except in cases of rape, or when the mother's life is in danger."
[Accept]

3. "You're not going far enough! Abortion is murder!" shouts Reverend Roxanne Dodinas, waving a placard with a picture of a foetus on it. "God decides which babies live and which will die, not us! The government must maintain a stern anti-abortion stance to preserve the morality of BackwardLand!"
[Accept]

4. "Abortion has to be legal if we're going to last as a nation," says Akira Clinton, President of the Society of Bitter Old People. "Have you ever thought that with BackwardLand's growing population of 32 million, we soon aren't going to be able to squeeze any more people within our borders? If we use abortion to control the population, we'll make great savings and can spend the money elsewhere. One child per family should just about do it I think. Extraneous ones can be sold to other countries."
[Accept]

Several aged politicians have joined forces to filibuster a piece of majority-approved legislation to death. They've been orating non-stop throughout 3 days worth of debating time, stopping the legislation from being passed.
The Debate

1. "This sham of a tactic is totally demolishing our ability to accomplish anything!" complains Colin Nagasawa, Minister of Ministries. "Who cares if a few old fossils fail to see reason? The majority of the government clearly wants this legislature to pass! Just set a limit on the time a person can speak for; this really is demeaning to the democratic process!"
[Accept]

2. While taking a bathroom break before moving on to read aloud from the phonebook, Jennifer Rifkin states: "It is a great thing for the minority and the oppressed that our system of government allows the filibuster to be utilised to harness the majority! Let the hills, the mountains, and the valleys reverberate with the sounds of our voices! We will not surrender to this repugnant legislation."
[Accept]

3. "The filibuster is not enough to protect the minority, since they are too afraid of the tyrannical majority to use it," says political commentator, Gregory Nagasawa. "I suggest that all legislation must require a unanimous vote before it can pass. That way, nobody goes away unhappy."
[Accept]

4. "Why do we need to debate legislature anyway?" questions Charles Jones, your Minister of Alternative Solutions, who also happens to be the best friend of your distant cousin. "Everything would be so much more simple if we just decide what to do, and do it. After all, we're the ones who know what's best for BackwardLand. If the minority parties want to say something, they can submit it in writing."
[Accept]

A group of environmentalists are protesting against plans to expand urban and suburban developments into greenbelts, the designated countryside between settlements.
The Debate

1. "Do we really have to listen to these nutcases?" asks real estate developer, Jonathon Cogswell. "The fact of the matter is that nature is BORING. Give us permission to build on the greenbelt and you'll have pink hotels, boutiques, and swinging hot spots that'll be the envy of the region and draw tourists from all around! We can always transplant a few trees and put them in a tree museum to keep the tree-huggers happy. BackwardLand stands to make a lot of money from this! Think about it for a moment!"
[Accept]

2. "I agree with my colleague here, but he doesn't go far enough," says Alexei Wall, a city planner. "These protestors are standing in the path of progress. It slows the growth of our economy and harms my portfolio - er - the future of our nation, I mean. It's unpatriotic and we should increase police funding to deal with these troublemakers. Then we wouldn't have to worry about greenbelts or any other nonsense about keeping the 'environment' safe. Think about it for a moment!"
[Accept]

3. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" exclaims environmental activist Beth Mistletoe. "Tree museums? Police funding? Don't it always seem to be the case that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? We're talking about natural treasures and you're talking about destroying them. Is there anything that you can build that can really be better than nature? We should put a stop to all encroachment into natural areas. Think about it for a moment!"
[Accept]

Some more issues.

Antipathy

01/23/2008, 17:39

The Empire of Sunshine Happytime: ???
The Nomadic Peoples of Whray: ???
The Rogue Nation of Whateversland: ???
The Empire of Anvilanian States: ???
The Democratic States of Delagaia: ???
The People's Republic of Farmtopia: ???
The Empire of Drakwarld: ???
The Free Land of Honeyonia: ???
The Most Serene Republic of Bjorkina Faso: ???
The United Socialist States of Mirrormasque: ???

Can anybody help with these?

kontrol

01/23/2008, 17:56

The Most Serene Republic of Bjorkina Faso: ???
I think this one is hail_Eris

JKLantern

01/23/2008, 18:01

I think this one is hail_Eris

Not Pashy? Huh. Didn't see that one comin'.

Doombot 3.1

01/24/2008, 09:57

The Issue
In a display of unity that can best be described as "highly unnerving," criminals and law enforcement officials alike are up in arms about recent overcrowding within prisons in Saralto.

The Debate
"I tell ya, chief... this ain't good," mutters local police chief Fleur Longfellow over his morning cup of coffee. "I see these no-good mohawk-wearin' punks every day, and they're a dangerous bunch. They gotta be locked in their mudholes forever! If we can't afford to keep 'em in prison, I say we need more money! Let's just casually shift some funding from elsewhere; after all, it ain't like our welfare program is helping keep these kids away from crime."
[Accept]

"How can these wayward individuals find their inner selves by staring at the walls within a stone cell?" challenges human rights activist and local prison license plate maker Pete Mistletoe. "The nation's budget is absolute proof: we cannot afford prisons... strictly because of their immorality! Let these caged birds breathe the sweet air of freedom again! Shut down all prisons in Saralto!"
[Accept]

"Now hold on just a second here," says George W. Washington, CEO of Saralto's most widely-known pizza delivery chain, Papa Pallocci's Pizza Pagoda. "You've got a problem with prisoners, and I've got a problem finding employees. Why don't you just send some of your criminals to Papa Pallocci's? We'll put 'em to work at lower pay as punishment for their crimes! I win, you win... the economy wins!"
[Accept]
The Government

kontrol

01/24/2008, 10:07

Wow. Those choices...suck

kontrol

01/24/2008, 10:08

An organized crowd of leather-clad individuals, some of whom are on leashes, are protesting against discrimination for those who share their interests.
The Debate

1. "We happen to express our love differently, with different hobbies and activities," explains BDSM enthusiast Hack Longfellow, while wearing needle-sharp spiked heels and holding a whip. "Shops exist to cater to the needs of 'normal' people, but do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get a quality whip? A little support for our hobbies would be appreciated!"
[Accept]

2. "Yeah," exclaims Elizabeth Gutenberg, another enthusiast, wearing nothing but a collar, "and like other couples, we want the right to display our affection in public. If Master wants to take me walkies in public, he should be able to."
[Accept]

3. Aaron Jong-Il dissents wholeheartedly. "This is not about showing affection--this is about moral decency. Think of the children, for God's sake! Think of the children! We must criminalize and eliminate this perversion to keep them safe. Which of course means a special task force to track down and capture these cretins!"
[Accept]
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm tempted to go 2 just for the fun of it. But I'll probably go 1.

Rokk_Krinn

01/24/2008, 10:11

Looking over the new U.N. issue and while the idea of making "free trade between nations more readily available" sounds nice, I'm thinking I'm going to join the doomed effort to vote against it. Forcing countries to perform according to a U.N.-demanded economic system doesn't seem right, nor does allowing the U.N. access to a country's economic infrastructure.

Basically it states that things like tariffs, duties, etc. would be abolished between U.N. nations and that U.N. nations reserve the right (i.e. - ability to "penalize") non-U.N. nations by imposing duties, tariffs, etc. against them.

I may believe in free-trade but, uhm, something about this isn't sitting quite right with me.

On the other hand, I bring it forward to the table for NationRealms to decide as a group how they want their delegates to vote. :)

Doombot 3.1

01/24/2008, 10:12

Yeah, I can imagine the effect on my nation's write-up:

Choice 1: Dozens of new prisons are built to incarcerate an ever-increasing percentage of my country's population; my civil rights rating takes a hit.

Choice 2: Thousands of prisoners are turned loose, and crime becomes rampant.

Choice 3: My country's companies use prisoners as de facto slave labor, causing wages to fall for law-abiding citizens with jobs.

I'm pretty sure whatever I choose will make my country look bad.

kontrol

01/24/2008, 10:15

Retaliatory tariffs against non UN members? I'd say go against that resolution.

Rokk_Krinn

01/24/2008, 10:16

I'm pretty sure whatever I choose will make my country look bad.

Nah, not in this game. ;)

Heck, I just appointed a Supreme Court judge that vehemently protects Civil Rights (especially the rights of privacy) and somehow my Civil Rights rating dropped like a rock from Excellent to Good. :confused:

Truffle Shuffle

01/24/2008, 11:31

Retaliatory tariffs against non UN members? I'd say go against that resolution.

I agree.

fill

malakim2099

01/24/2008, 12:18

The Democratic States of Delagaia: ???

Not a Realmser. I showed a co-worker here my nation, and he wanted to give it a go.

I couldn't tell you about the others, though.

Doombot 3.1

01/24/2008, 14:00

Gee, I wonder which position I'm supposed to adopt. :rolleyes:

The Issue
The highly moral and religious pressure group 'Cuckolds And Cuckqueans Anonymous' has lobbied for the criminalisation of adultery.

The Debate
"Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage?" asks Konrad Love while wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan 'Marriage is for life, not just for anniversaries'. "Whatever happened to lifelong companionship? Whatever happened to simple faithfulness because of love?! Adultery seems to be more of a hobby than anything these days! The government must impose the utmost punishments on those who commit this sin. A good old-fashioned stoning should sort it!"
[Accept]

"I don't agree with adultery either," says Hope Falopian, a passer-by. "But, uh... stoning? You don't think that's a little extreme? If we find someone guilty of fornication we can just lock them up in jail. That way no-one gets killed and the sinners get justice. It's more expensive to the tax payers than a stoning of course, but I reckon it's worth it."
[Accept]

"With the greatest of respect, this is none of your business!" yells Colin Chicago who is rumoured to have had more than a thousand lovers and even more children. "The government has no right to go about trying to dictate the laws of love and romance! Marriages break down, people move on - is it really the government's place to make people stay put? You must recognise the fact that the law has no place within the bedroom!"
[Accept]

kontrol

01/24/2008, 14:05

Hmm, I predict increase in crime rate for your future. :)

kontrol

01/24/2008, 14:07

Scientists at a private medical research laboratory have announced that they have produced a drug which will combat Scordrag's most notorious malady - Spon Plague.
The Debate

1. "This pill is the only known and unknown cure for the Spon Plague!" proclaims Professor Aaron Licorish, the inventor of the cure. "But if we are to go ahead with the production of this drug, we must get some government support. We're set to make a fortune from this drug - the money we earn will help us develop even more cures for other as-yet untreatable diseases. Some people won't be able to afford it of course, but hard cheese on them: they should have got a paying job while they were still capable."
[Accept]

2. "That's a disgraceful way to think!" says equal rights activist, Freddy McAlpin. "So the people who need the most help shouldn't get any? I propose that the government subsidises the production of all drugs so everyone can benefit from them, rich or not! That way the money-hungry corporations won't profit from the suffering of the masses. Of course there will be the matter of a small tax rise to fund it - but what's that when lives will be saved?"
[Accept]

3. "I can't believe what I'm hearing," deplores well-respected religious leader, Elizabeth Rifkin. "If God didn't want people to have this disease he wouldn't have created it in the first place. This is completely against the will of God and if the government allows this drug to go on sale we will all be doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place! Now let's end this madness and abolish the production of pharmaceuticals and drugs altogether!"
[Accept]

--------------------------

I predict rampant taxes for mine.

JKLantern

01/24/2008, 14:59

Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Bartonella's south-west.

The Debate
"This is a terrific find!" claims Nukes4U CEO Randy Li. "It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit."
[Accept]

"You've got to be kidding," says Green politician Charles Washington. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw."
[Accept]

"There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Bartonella."
[Accept]

Despite the fact that habitat fragmentation is just about as bad as utterly wiping out the habitat, that's the path Big Chief JK has decided to go with. Because Big Chief JK is Love.

Rokk_Krinn

01/24/2008, 15:01

Gah! Abortion issue! Abortion issue!

*thinks he may pretend to be a real politician and ignore making a decision on it. :cheeky: *

darius_dax1

01/24/2008, 15:40

JKLantern

01/24/2008, 15:41

You probably won't like the turnout. The game usually overcompensates.

Unless I'm trying to run my country into the ground...:devious:

hail_eris

01/24/2008, 17:53

I think this one is hail_Eris
Yeah, Bjorkina Faso's mine. I'm governing based on a principle of "What would Bjork do?" Frustratingly, it seems that when you spread the insanity out evenly enough, it kind of balances out and you end up with a decent country - albeit one filled with nudists.

malakim2099

01/24/2008, 17:56

I'm just glad Groovy has decided to come and play. This should be interesting.

Peasant skulls as currency? I LIKE IT! :devious:

KitsuShel

01/25/2008, 10:23

Has anyone gotten this one yet?

The Issue

The commercial release of the controversial children's book 'Heather Has Two Mommies' in The Island Sodor has sparked debate over laws concerning the adoption of children by homosexual couples.
The Debate

1. "I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone could possibly be against this," complains Jacob Kantelberg, showing up at your office wearing a pink feather boa. "Bart and I are good and caring people and will make excellent fathers, so what's the problem? All of the scientific studies have shown that there's no difference in the wellbeing of children raised by gay and straight couples. All that's holding these little darlings back from the happy family life that they deserve is the outdated prejudices of some prudes. All we want is to adopt a child to call our own. It'll be fabulous!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "I don't care what these so-called scientific studies say," says Gregory Falopian, representing a number of conservative religious organisations. "How can a boy hope to develop properly into a man if he's being brought up by poofs? A father figure is not supposed to behave as if it is 'okay' to be, um, romantically invested in another man - and the same goes for lesbians! Why? Because it is not okay. It'll just give them gay! Think about it: say you have two gay steamies - they can't have children because nature did not provide them with the tools and if God wanted gays to have kids then they would have those tools. Don't legalise this blasphemy! Think of the children!"
[Accept]

3. "This just doesn't go far enough in my opinion," grumbles Bill McAlpin an ardent opponent to homosexuality. "The more concessions we give these people, the more they'll reduce our nation to the most embarrassing gayfest of all NationRealms! We'll be a joke! Homosexuality is a sin, and not only that it's a disease of society and there's no two ways about it. It must be criminalised and those responsible hanged just like in the good old days."
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

malakim2099

01/25/2008, 10:29

Has anyone gotten this one yet?

I think that's one I'd have to dismiss... though I'd be with option 1 until the "It'll be FABULOUS!" line at the end. ;)

kontrol

01/25/2008, 10:34

Has anyone gotten this one yet?
I got the gay marriage one but not that one.

kontrol

01/25/2008, 10:37

A top fertility clinic has recently announced a new service allowing parents to create so-called 'designer babies'.
The Debate

1. "Embryo selection isn't really genetic engineering in the technical sense," explains Dr. Pip Fellow, owner of the Babies-2-Go Clinic. "It's more like being able to have a dozen abortions per month until you get the foetus you desire. I can't really see what's wrong with parents who can afford it being able to eliminate foetuses with undesirable genetic traits - like stupidity."
[Accept]

2. "Thou shalt pay for thy sins!" screams Alexei Barry, waving a crucifix. "This is just meddling with the sanctity of life. If these children are to be born with horrible defects then it's God's will and who are we to question it? This technology must be banned at once!"
[Accept]

3. "This technology shows promise," muses Bill Johnson, minister of health. "But we can't trust the private sector with the future of our nation's children. We must place it under strict government regulation, so that we only screen out embryos with serious genetic conditions."
[Accept]

4. "This has got me thinkin'," says General Billy-Bob McAlpin, thumbing through a big folder marked 'X'. "If this technology lets us reduce genetic defects, then couldn't it work the other way? We could create ourselves an army of genetically superior soldiers! With our army of Super Soldiers, no nation would dare stand in our way!"
[Accept]

---------------------------------------------

Great now my economy has taken a hit...
Maybe I should create an army of Super-Soldiers. I mean that's never gone wrong before, right?

Right?

JKLantern

01/25/2008, 11:04

A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate
"For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester Roger Jong-Il, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
[Accept]

"I agree," mused sociology professor Lars Clinton. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."

"Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant Pete Christmas. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"

------------------------------------------------------------

Big Chief JK says that clothes are the UN's way of keeping you down.

Doombot 3.1

01/25/2008, 11:09

kontrol

01/25/2008, 12:58

Call me crazy, but the crucifix-waving fanatic actually seems to have the most reasonable position. :surprised
A lot of issues are slanted. I still choose the Super-Soldier option. Havoc will ensue.

Doombot 3.1

01/25/2008, 13:40

What kind of name is "Buy Licorish"? :cheeky:

The Issue
Falling standards at Saralto's retirement homes have prompted OAPs to take to the streets and demand better treatment.

The Debate
"There needs to be more done for the elderly," says Buy Licorish, a resident of 'This Old Man' retirement home. "We can't work to support ourselves anymore, and the pensions we get are measly. We need more benefits such as higher standards of living, free bus tickets, and a continuous supply of woosters. All it requires is a little more generosity on the part of the tax payers - after all, we fought the war for their sort."
[Accept]

"I'm not giving any of my hard-earned wages to a bunch of old fossils," says Thomas Christmas, a devout taxpayer. "If they weren't smart enough to save enough money for their later years, then why should the government pay out for them now? They had their chance and they didn't take it. If they really want money so bad, they can go out and work for it like everyone else."
[Accept]

kontrol

01/25/2008, 13:47

So my Super Soldier program just gave me ~6'6" foot tall soldiers?

Guess it's better than nothing.

---------------------------------
After a recent high-profile case of a minority student being refused admission to a traditional, prestigious college, civil rights activists, conservatives, and teachers are up in arms about affirmative action and ethnic equality in education.
The Debate

1. "This is just another attempt to discriminate against people of color," declares civil-rights activist, former TV commentator and unabashed publicity speaker Clint Silk. "If people are disadvantaged in their upbringing they they should be given an 'equal' chance to succeed in college."
[Accept]

2. "The affirmative action programs aren't necessary at all," rejoins conservative speaker and hair care product salesman Klaus Johnson. "If you really want to treat everyone equally, as you claim, how can you support special treatment for a few so-called minority groups? Besides, it would cost even more money to enforce."
[Accept]

3. "I think you are both looney," says Hope Hendrikson, professor of liberal arts at Scordrag National University. "All education should be open to everyone regardless of their grades in high school, economic status or academic prowess. Free college education should be available to every citizen of Scordrag, no matter what the cost!"
[Accept]

hail_eris

01/25/2008, 14:04

Well this one's just plain stupid. Although I do enjoy the idea of loudspeakers broadcasting my national motto...

A recent poll on putting up huge loudspeakers in Django-Reinhardt's cities for public government broadcasts has been brought to your attention.

The Debate

1. "This idea is brilliant, and Django-Reinhardt can't afford to pass it up," claims Anne-Marie Mombota, your Minister of Safety. "These loudspeakers can assure the public that the government is always here to help them. The potential here, to immediately warn citizens of an emergency such as an earthquake or a stampede of domesticated ferrets or something, simply must be taken into account! This could save lives! And I suppose, when there isn't anything the citizens need to be told, you could always use them to broadcast patriotic messages like 'Ferventer vestite!' and inform the good people which party to join and vote for with newsbriefs and such. It'll be worth it to strengthen the populace's devotion to our glorious nation!"
[Accept]

2. "I think people need to realise what this really is: brainwashing!" retorts Gregory Bush, a wealthy marketer. "I don't want to hear all this flag-waving hogwash every time I go out for a walk. But when it comes to emergencies, I do agree that something should be done to warn everyone: we should send out messages on mandatory minature radios that you can carry in your pocket. It could tell you things you need to know too, like what shoes to buy and such."
[Accept]

3. "To be honest, I can't see why we should put up with advertising at all," says Falala Christmas, an anti-business protester. "All it is is some multi-billionaire or politician somewhere trying to make even more money while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. I say we ban it. Maybe the economy will suffer a little and some people may lose jobs but that's just a minor side-effect really, especially when you consider that no longer will our children be encouraged to fill themselves with junk-food because some guy on the telly tells them it's cool!"
[Accept]

JKLantern

01/25/2008, 15:15

People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, If That's All Right

The Issue
While effusively praising Bartonella's leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more "modernistic" view in the future.

The Debate
The High Minister for Finance, who also happens to be your brother, dismisses the claim. "What these people fail to realize is that you know what's best for them. The alternative is anarchy! I say stick to your course. And execute these wackos for treason."
[Accept]

"Perhaps the people could be given some more political freedoms," muses your Chief of Staff, who is your sister. "Is there really such harm in allowing public discussion of ideas? We could even have a real Opposition Party. One that isn't just full of your puppets, I mean."
[Accept]
---------------------------------------------------

While Big Chief JK does not like challenges to his authority, he is pleased and amused with the wording of the request. As a merciful leader, Big Chief JK shall allow them a little more freedom.

Thawmus

01/25/2008, 15:56

Depression-ville Decides:
The Great Wall of Depression-ville?
Government Acts
The Issue

Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of Depression-ville, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.
The Debate

1. George W. Shiomi of the Depression-ville National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"
[Accept]

2. Billy Shiomi of the Depression-ville Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"
[Accept]

3. "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Steffan Chicago of the Depression-ville Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

:laugh:

Thawmus

01/25/2008, 15:58

I'm also disappointed in the Empire's progress. Thawmus' civil rights and political freedoms are below average, now. Methinks the abortion issue sunk me, big time. :ermm:

Nevertheless, I remain a Democratic Socialist state...which is weird. You'd think they'd throw me into a Theocracy by now...

JackAssterson

01/26/2008, 15:46

Got the mail issue, the state religion issue and the graffitti issue.

All the choices were so dumb I dismissed them all. :sleep:

Rokk_Krinn

01/26/2008, 15:54

The Issue
A violent and rather messy stampede of blackbirds during a parade in your honour has brought widespread media attention to the shortage of blood, plasma and platelet donors in Ob-la-da.

Each your heart out Hitchcock! :grin:

JackAssterson

01/26/2008, 16:22

JKLantern

01/26/2008, 18:31

Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.

The Debate
"It's really very exciting," says lab head Billy Dodinas. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."

"Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I'm a lunatic," says placard-waving protestor Naki Clinton. "Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They're messing with the sanctity of human life. It's wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately."

-----------------------

Big Chief JK hopes to have a cloned harem some day.

JackAssterson

01/26/2008, 18:37

-----------------------

Big Chief JK hopes to have a cloned harem some day.

So they can outnumber you even more?

JKLantern

01/26/2008, 18:41

So they can outnumber you even more?

Precisely. Big Chief JK would never get anything done if he was not terrified that his female friends would kick his butt in an all out brawl.

Rokk_Krinn

01/28/2008, 15:18

Well, looks like the UN resolution passed by @1K votes.

It did, indeed, have a pretty immediate effect on my economy. I had taken a bit of a nose-dive when I had forbidden Propaganda Loudspeaker Towers - which the game, of course, transformed into "all advertising is banned" - and it rose a fair amount upon passing.

Hoping the non-UN countries didn't see an effect.

malakim2099

01/28/2008, 15:29

Hey, now I'm apparently a capitalist paradise with a flat tax.

When the heck did THAT happen?!?!?

JKLantern

01/28/2008, 15:36

Cheap, foreign-made cars are becoming increasingly popular, causing concern in Bartonella's automobile manufacturing industry.

The Debate
"Unless this government does something, Bartonella won't have an auto industry for much longer," says auto industry union boss Randy Jefferson, in a rare public appearance alongside management. "These foreign companies employ people for a few Bearclaws a day. The only way to level the playing field is to raise tariffs. The government would make more money, too, so it's win-win."

"For once, I agree with my grubby colleague here," says General Chassis CEO Beth du Pont. "Although I have to say, tariffs aren't the only answer. A more effective solution would be to abolish minimum wage laws. Now that would level the playing field. And we'd be able to employ more--argh, let go of my throat!"

"I think we need to face facts," says noted economist and chat-show regular Calvin Rubin. "We live in a global economy now, and automobile manufacturing just isn't Bartonella's strong suit. There's no point taking money from taxpayers in order to line the pockets of a few greedy workers and corrupt managers in a doomed industry. Let the market takes its--argh, let go of my throat!"
-----------------------------------------
Big Chief JK is greedy. Buy foreign, and Big Chief JK gets money to expand his CD collection.

kontrol

01/28/2008, 16:06

So let me get this straight.
I could abolish anti-trust laws (no)
I could abolish a fully functioning corporate entity (no)
I could get rid of technology altogether (no)

Yeah, that's an easy one.
-----
The CEO of Scordrag software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws.
The Debate

1. "These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO Zeke Falopian from out the window of his 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"
[Accept]

2. "Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! Beth Clinton from out the window of his clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little man, and the best way to do that is to shut down the big, oppressive, corporate gurus in Microcosm and beyond."
[Accept]

3. "Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother Elizabeth Fellow of the Scordrag Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."
[Accept]

Doombot 3.1

01/29/2008, 11:12

The Issue
The Household Defence Alliance is lobbying for the right to kill anyone who trespasses on private property.

The Debate
"We must take a stand against burglars and looters entering our property," explains HDA President, Catherine Gratwick, while digging a moat around her house. "We should be able to rip their guts out with a machine gun, no questions asked. If they want rights they should have considered the poor sod they were robbing."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

"Even burglars have human rights," says Anne-Marie Chicago, while thieving a wooster from your pocket. "And we don't deserve to be shot for trying to make our way in the world. People are far more important than property, I hope you agree! Why attack a burglar? That's the job of the coppers! I think anyone injuring anyone else should be severely punished with no excuses about trespassers or defending your property. Or yourself."
[Accept]

"Hey, let's not be hasty!" cautions Melbourne Dodinas, an anti-gun protester. "I'm not for riddling burglars with bullets either, but I do want to protect my family! I think it would be a lot more sensible if we allowed homeowners to attack burglars, but not with guns. In fact it would be even better if we just banned guns while we're at it."
[Accept]

Rokk_Krinn

01/29/2008, 11:35

I had one that wanted me to outlaw Arts & Humanity studies in universities because "some students are working hard and others are sitting around reading and painting". :confused:

Thawmus

01/29/2008, 11:44

Yay for no-win situations!!!

Thawmus Decides:
Dangerously Cheesy
The Issue

The popular daily cartoon strip "Barry the Orc" has always been highly critical of the political system within Thawmus, but in recent weeks the cartoon has depicted the main characters throwing melted cheese at unpopular politicians. Inspired by this, protestors armed with fondue sets stormed a government building, cheesing off several government officials.
The Debate

1. "It's just a bit of harmless fun!", says Beth Hanover, creator of Barry the Orc, while spraying your advisors with melted cheddar. "If the government were doing a better job people wouldn't feel the need to throw cheese at them. We should be free to express our displeasure in any way we choose. Besides, my cartoon books are selling like hot cakes, and that's got to be good for the economy, right?"
[Accept]

2. "This has got to stop!" insists Clint Mistletoe, head of the censorship board. "I spent 3 hours this morning scraping wensleydale out of my hair! Arrest these lunatics! The protestors and the people responsible for this vile cartoon, throw them all into jail!"
[Accept]

3. "Arrrrrgh!" screams lactose-intolerant Steffan Fellow, a member of the public safety board, as incoming rounds of mature gouda smash the windows and claim the suits of several nearby advisors. "As I've been saying for many years now, cheese is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands and should be outlawed. Ban all cheese now, and enforce it!"
[Accept]

Well, I'm inclined to take #1. My Political Freedoms are Below Average, so that should improve it a bit.

Still think people should find better ways of protesting, but I know option #2 will end up with: "Protesting is illegal".... :ermm:

malakim2099

01/29/2008, 13:04

Alrighty. Who's been calling me a pariah behind my back? :p

The Issue

Commentators have warned that Malakovia's social inequalities threaten to make it an international pariah.
The Debate

1. "Look, I don't like it either," said Chamber of Commerce spokesperson Naki Longfellow. "Just on the way here, I had to step over three homeless people, and one of my shoes got caught on a beggar. But inequality is the price we pay for economic strength. If anything, we need fewer taxes, so those of us who are well-off can afford to be more generous. If we want to, that is."
[Accept]

2. "I think we've forgotten what economic strength is all about," says social worker Beth Barry. "The economy is meant to be a means to a high standard of living, not an end in itself. It's become an excuse for the rich to prosper while the poor fall through the cracks. Not everyone is poor because they don't feel like working. We must provide more welfare."
[Accept]

3. "Who says we're an international pariah?" demands military honcho Violet Fellow. "What are their names? If that's the way the international community feels, we obviously need to prepare for war."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

kontrol

01/29/2008, 13:27

Hmm, it's already legal. Do I need to ban it in public places?

---------------------------

National marijuana consumption has hit an all-time high, with alarming results, a new poll has found.
The Debate

1. "My factory's productivity is down ten percent since marijuana was decriminalized," complains employer Beth Wu. "And the number of thefts from the candy machine is off the scale. This so-called 'pot' needs to be banned in all public places. Let the junkies do what they want at home, but not in my workplace."
[Accept]

2. "Whoa, dude, no need to get, like, you know," says Free Your Mind campaigner Anne-Marie Bush, from his parents' basement. "This is, like, a personal choice issue, you know. It's like... whoa, just back off what I want to do with my own body. Don't let the fascists win, man. There are some hot new eckies coming in soon, they should be legal too."
[Accept]

The Government Position

Thawmus

01/29/2008, 13:37

Depression-ville Decides:
Close Encounters Of The Sci-fi Kind?
The Issue

A recent, well-publicized UFO sighting over rural areas of Depression-ville has turned people's attention to the skies, and what... or who... might be up there.
The Debate

1. "This event proves one thing: there are other life-forms out there," says eccentric astronomer Buffy Spirit, "All we have to do is find them! What is the price of a few hundred Radio Telescopes compared to the benefit of living in peace and harmony with our brethren of the stars?"
[Accept]

2. "Spies! It's gotta be spies! A few planes or satellites from our enemies or 'allies' in our region," rages General Buy Wu, head of Depression-ville's military, "The only way to keep those snoops out of our airspace is to patrol the streets 'n skies, and shoot 'em down! Even if they are some sort of little green aliens, a couple of SAM batteries and a few flak cannons'll keep 'em from abducting our depresseds."
[Accept]

3. "Extraterrestrial lifeforms? Alien invaders? I don't know why we even have to listen to such idiocy!" complains prize-winning physicist Hack Li. "In my opinion, the idea of 'aliens' on another planet is highly unlikely, and even if they did exist, getting from there to here is technically impossible! I say we forget this nonsense and stop spending our tax depressions on it. Leave this sort of foolishness to the people who attend those 'trekkie' conventions."
[Accept]

I love #2, particularly the ending. :laugh:

kontrol

01/30/2008, 10:49

A study has shown that an increasing proportion of teenagers in Scordrag are falling pregnant.
The Debate

1. "We need comprehensive sex education to be mandatory in all schools," says Roger Love, a teacher while tidying away some diagrams that make your eyes water. "The plain fact is that teenagers will experiment with sexual intercourse despite what society or their parents wish. So I say give these kids free contraceptives, and make them fully aware of the consequences of their actions. Information is what they need, not condemnation. If they ignore it then hey, it's their own damn fault."
[Accept]

2. "If you give them contraception it'll just encourage them to do... terrible things," says Jack Summers, a religious parent and member of Moral Minority. "And what's with giving them so much information? There's even diagrams for goodness sake! Have they never heard of 'monkey see, monkey do'? They'll just go and try it out, mark my words! The solution is simple: girls should be kept at home and away from the monkey house of lustful impetuousness and young males until they are of marriageable age. Teaching teenagers abstinence and chastity is the key, not giving them step-by-step manuals."
[Accept]

3. "However sex education is taught, it is still social engineering and so undermines parental authority," says conservative newspaper columnist Jean-Paul Fellow. "My own son learned about something called 'homosexuality' the other day! For shame! We all know it should be Adam and Eve, not Adam and... Geoff? Anyway, my point is that sex education should be dropped from schools and instead taught by parents the way they see fit. That way children will get consistent messages and parents, not society, will cop the blame if any of their kids fall pregnant."
[Accept]

4. "No-one's asked me my opinion yet," says Catherine Gratwick, a teenage mother as she bottle-feeds her baby. "I think it's perfectly obvious what the cause of teenage pregnancy is - teenage boys! My son's father is the one that got me into this mess. He's the one who pressured me into having sex, but all the education is focused on the girls. Teenage fathers should be made responsible for their actions for once and be made to join the military so they can send their wages back to pay for their children's upkeep. If that's not a deterrent, then I don't know what is."
[Accept]

5. "I think we've missed the fact that maybe this teenage pregnancy phenomenon is not such a bad thing," says Randy McGuffin, a famous demographer. "We need the population to grow, we need more people of working age, we need more tax for public services, et cetera. There are plenty of sound demographical reasons why we should be encouraging women to have families. By all means educate them about the dangers, but I don't think we ought to discourage teenagers from procreating - it's nature's way you know."
[Accept]

kontrol

01/30/2008, 10:52

Several musicians have recently produced songs in which "Violet" sings silly and offensive things, causing outcries of horror from the Order of Violet.
The Debate

1. "THIS IS BLASPHEMY!" shouts Stephanie O'Bannon, Grand High Poobah of the Order of Violet. "Our holy scriptures specifically forbid any portrayal of our prophet's most holy voice. We cannot permit people to slander and mock our prophet and insult all of us. These people are simply doing this to see if we are extremists. Death to the blasphemers!"
[Accept]

2. Speaking anonymously and from hiding, one of the musicians says, "It was just meant to be a joke! I never thought that they'd take it so seriously. I just wanted to give them a little ribbing like I do the other major religions of Pastafarianism and Frisbeetarianism." Naki Wu glances over their shoulder to see if anyone is watching, "Please don't try to figure out who I am. I'm scared for my safety. The government should protect my freedom to insult whomever I want. Freedom of speech should hold nothing sacred, not even God."
[Accept]

3. "Freedom of speech is important, but so is freedom of religion. Surely we can strike some sort of balance?" says Buy Silk, chief spokesperson for the SSOC (the Scordrag Society of Compromisers). "Freedom of speech comes with a responsibility. People must avoid anything that insults another's religion, and if they aren't willing to do it themselves, the government must enforce it."
[Accept]

4. "His Holiness, the Grand High Poobah of Violet, has the right idea, but the wrong religion," says Zeke du Pont, the Prelate of Primary Public Relations for the fanatical organization Scordrag's Concerned Citizens for Our God. "This nation needs an official religion, and not support the Godless heathens who worship the idolotrous Violet. Appoint me as your spiritual adviser an I'll ensure that all people worship God in the correct way."
[Accept]

5. "They've got it all wrong. Freedom of speech isn't the problem, religion is!" shouts Steffan Shiomi, at a local AA (Atheists Anonymous) meeting. "If religion were outlawed, this problem would solve itself. Just send them in for medical treatment. After all, anyone who believes in some big invisible dude who can do anything is clearly nuts."
[Accept]

Doombot 3.1

01/30/2008, 13:29

Anybody get this issue yet?

The Issue
After a much-publicised incident involving a farmer's attempts to drive a family of travellers off private property, there has been a call for you to review the laws governing gypsies.

The Debate
"These pikies just rolled onto my field in those caravans of theirs and camped out," says Samuel Wu, the enraged farmer. "And when I tries to run 'em over with my tractor, it's me who gets stuck in the cells overnight! I've tried getting the government to evict them but they take too long over it. How would these people have reacted if I'd set up a tent in their back garden? There should be a law so I can get rid of them any way I choose. Gypsies should not be allowed to go wherever they like. It's just not fair to landowners."
[Accept]

"All we wanted was a place to stay the night," says Falala Trax, a traveller and parent of fourteen children. "Or maybe for a week or so. Or a month. Perhaps through winter; it's pretty mild around here, I don't know. But is that such a crime? We weren't stealing anything, or harming anyone. All we ask is to be allowed to continue our travels without harassment."
[Accept]

"I don't think that's a good idea," says Pete Johnson, one of your advisors who happens to own an extensive greenfield site. "We can't just let people go living wherever they like just because they've been doing it for hundreds of years. It's very untidy! What I suggest is that we dip into the coffers and buy plots of land, all over the country, and turn them into nice safe areas where these folks can stay for as long as they want for a weekly rent before they decide to move on. See? Problem solved."
[Accept]

"I have the best solution," says Colin Summers, in response to a street survey. "These gypsies should be chucked in jail, their caravans sold for scrap, and, and... told not to do it again! I think we've all had enough with the government #####-footing their way around these criminals! The way they just swan in and disrupt communities any way they please! And think of what their presence would do to the value of my property! People ought to live in bricks and mortar, not tins on wheels!"
[Accept]

kontrol

01/30/2008, 13:39

No I haven't. None of them seem all that...good though.

kontrol

01/30/2008, 13:41

Just when you thought they may do something reasonable, I get carparks.
------------------------
A furious debate over eminent domain, or compulsory purchase, the government's right to take a citizen's private property without permission, has erupted after the government evicted hundreds of people from their homes to make way for a new shopping complex and a bypass.
The Debate

1. "Eminent Domain? More like outright theft!" cries Fleur Longfellow, whose house was bulldozed. "They took away my home! I have to move everything in my life somewhere else because of the whims of some fruitcake city planner? It's lunacy! This blatant power abuse mustn't be allowed to continue. The government should require explicit permission before taking private property!"
[Accept]

2. "You can't be serious," objects Konrad Winters, a city planner. "You've got to have bypasses. Eminent domain's essential! Without it we'd actually have to pay for the property we were steali- ah- expropriating and that would mean lots of boring paperwork and be much more expensive. If we really need to build something, say a bypass to ease congestion, do you really want that to be stopped because one person says no? We need eminent domain to let Scordrag make progress. In fact we could cut costs even more if we didn't have to pay compensation..."
[Accept]

3. "I do believe we should retain our right to eminent domain," says Tobias McGuffin, your Minister of Miscellaneous Amenities. "But to use it for private industry is just immoral and corrupting. We really ought to only use eminent domain for the purpose of building public utilities like hospitals, schools, and carparks."
[Accept]

Rokk_Krinn

01/30/2008, 13:45

I feel ripped off - I have no prisons and crime is totally unknown in my nation yet I only rank 10th.

Must be those darn urchins selling lemonade on the street corner! :devious:

Doombot 3.1

01/30/2008, 13:51

Just when you thought they may do something reasonable, I get carparks.
------------------------

That issue is almost certainly based on the Supreme Court's Kelo decision from two or three years ago. It's pretty easy to see where the person who submitted it stands, though.

hail_eris

01/30/2008, 14:17

I banned dueling and somehow that led directly to "long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences." Right. Because that's a logical progression from "No, we will not abandon rule of law so a bunch of SCA enthusiasts can settle their differences with swords."

Rokk_Krinn

01/30/2008, 14:21

JKLantern

01/30/2008, 15:31

The Nomadic Peoples of Bartonella is a large, devout nation, renowned for its complete absence of social welfare. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 23 million are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 12%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Soda Sales industries.

Punitive tariffs protect local industry, Bartonella's army is full of two-metre tall super-soldiers, cheese has been labelled a dangerous weapon and banned, and homeless people are periodically found dead upon altars to assorted deities. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Bartonella's national animal is the Ted Nugent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Bearclaw.

Snf...I'm so proud!

malakim2099

01/30/2008, 16:24

Please tell me the problem in the first two paragraphs, here...

* * * * *

The United Socialist States of Malakovia is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, hard-working population of 56 million are either ruled by a small, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, pro-business government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defence, Social Welfare, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49%. A small but healthy private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Basket Weaving and Cheese Exports.

All major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, euthanasia is legal, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and the country is preparing for war. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malakovia's national animal is the rabid wombat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Clix.

Malakovia is ranked 19th in the region and 29,824th in the world for Lowest Crime Rates.

Thawmus

01/30/2008, 18:00

I feel ripped off - I have no prisons and crime is totally unknown in my nation yet I only rank 10th.

Must be those darn urchins selling lemonade on the street corner! :devious:

You have to rule with an iron fist!!! :devious:

*sees that Thawmus is ranked even LOWER than Depression-ville*

....um....nevermind. :noid:

Doombot 3.1

01/31/2008, 09:52

The Issue
The international community has appealed to Saralto to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.

The Debate
"We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist Chastity Rubin. "Compared to some of these nations, Saralto is swimming in woosters. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."
[Accept]

"Talk about a way to flush woosters straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member Prudence Utopia. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

"Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor Faith Broadside. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Soda Sales markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."
[Accept]

kontrol

01/31/2008, 10:19

The Issue

Scordrag's industries have an ever-growing amount of toxic wastes to dispose of, and doing so in safe ways is becoming prohibitively expensive, leading a group of lobbyists to try and pressure the government into changing existing disposal laws.
The Debate

1. "These waste dumping laws are destroying our businesses!" rants Fleur Fellow, head of the Scordrag Bigger Business Bureau. "We need cheaper ways to eliminate industrial by-products, which really aren't as harmful as people think, such as pouring them into rivers or deep ocean ravines where they're harmless to us. Let's remember that the products we manufacture make your life easier and more fun!"
[Accept]

2. "A better way to deal with this problem is to convince the public it isn't a problem at all," whispers George W. Falopian, head of Scamcorp, an industrial think tank. "Fudge some research, declare that the chemical by-products from industrial processing and production actually make one's teeth and bones healthier. Then, sell them to municipalities to add to their drinking water! Yes! This will not only save us the trouble of disposing of the waste correctly, we'll be able to sell it at a profit! I can taste the money already!"
[Accept]

3. "These corrupt, money-hungry corporations are only looking out for themselves and their bottom line!" says Roxanne Steele, an environmentalist from northern Scordrag. "The government needs to enact stricter laws for how these companies can dump their waste safely, and when they poison Scordrag's people and environment, the government needs the authority and manpower to enforce harsh penalties! These companies make their messes, they should pay to clean them up!"
[Accept]

---------------------
Hmm, I wonder which one I'm supposed to choose.

malakim2099

01/31/2008, 10:57

JKLantern

01/31/2008, 11:36

There is a growing call within Bartonella to abolish smoking in public areas.

The Debate
"I'm in full support of this motion," says man on the street Zeke Johnson. "I'm sick of being stuck behind smokers, sucking in their pollution! They can light up in the privacy of their own homes, if they want."

"What's so special about their homes?" says anti-smoking campaigner Calvin Steele. "The government has a responsibility to stop people from hurting themselves -- it's the same reason we should make them wear seat belts in cars. Sooner or later, they end up in one of Bartonella's hospitals, sucking on taxpayer-funded healthcare. Not that that's why we should ban smoking. We should ban it because we care."

"Get your hands off my fag!" wheezes long-time smoker Clint Nagasawa. "I've been smoking for fifty years and it's never done me any harm. Helps me concentrate, it does! The government should back off on trying to tell me what I can put into my own body. Telling a smoker he can't light up in a restaurant is discrimination, pure and simple. If you want to put a stop to unfairness, stop that."
-------------------------------------------------

Because Big Chief JK loves his little scientifically bred monster children, and wants them to be healthy.

kontrol

01/31/2008, 11:48

#2, obviously. GO CAPITALISM! :)
Heh, Do I dare try to boost my flagging economy at the expense of my beloved burgeoning dolphin population?

malakim2099

01/31/2008, 11:59

Heh, Do I dare try to boost my flagging economy at the expense of my beloved burgeoning dolphin population?

Their teeth will never be shinier. :cool:

JKLantern

01/31/2008, 14:32

The oldest power station in Bartonella suffered a catastrophic failure last night, plunging a third of Bartonella's national power supply grid into darkness. There is no debate that it needs to be replaced, but the question is with what?

The Debate
"The solution is clear," says environmental activist Randy Longfellow. "Wind turbines and solar power stations are the cleanest there are. We must switch power production to forms of renewable energy, that will never run out. The only minor problems are that wind farms will take up a great deal of space and of course we can't exactly rely on the weather. It isn't as though we control it. But think of how much healthier people will be without all that pollution!"
[Accept]

"Wind power? Solar collectors? Bah! Have you ever wondered when the least amount of strain is placed on the national grid? WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!" exclaims Southern Bartonella Electra official Thomas Rubin. "We need power under our control, and cheaply. Coal has been the cheapest and most abundant power source for ages. We don't need this airy fairy wind malarky when we have cheap and reliable power available for all. True, pollution will be a bit on the heavy side but I'm sure that's only a minor problem, with how well funded our health system is!"
[Accept]

"Now the way I see it is that it's either green, expensive, and sprawling; or compact, polluting and cheap. Wouldn't it be nice if we had the best of both worlds? Well, we can!" claims fission technician Freddy Gutenberg. "Nuclear power is reliable, clean, and although it isn't cheap, it won't break the bank. There is a risk of deadly meltdown, but this is relatively small, and the only people who could be against this are anti-nuclear protesters, but what do we care about those tree-hugging hippies?"
--------------------------------------------------------
Because Bartonella already as monster super soldiers, Big Chief JK has decided to further screw with the gene pool of the population. Because mutations are love.

Thawmus

01/31/2008, 14:34

Thawmus Decides:
Police Want More Than Shiny Badge
The Issue

After a policeman was forced to apprehend a criminal with nothing more than his groceries, there has been an outcry for better equipment.
The Debate

1. "It's outrageous," says Chief Constable Larry Nagasawa. "This horrible situation could have been sorted out a lot faster if we had had the right equipment! Even the poorest criminals can buy better arms than us! We need more funds - if we have to take a bit of cash off the education and healthcare budgets to pay for it all then so be it!"
[Accept]

2. "I agree with my friend here," says zealous lance-corporal Akira Longbottom. "But let's go further. Let's create a new anti-crime group with special training and expensive - er - extensive new equipment! That would make the criminals think twice before breaking the law! Especially if our new forces can shoot miscreants at first sight without messing around with time-consuming trials."
[Accept]

3. "Hey, hey!" cries anti-gun protester, Freddy Hendrikson. "You can't be serious! Weapons kill! Everyone knows that if there were no weapons there'd be no criminals; and if there are no criminals, we won't need to waste valuable government funds on the police! In fact, I say we should go as far as doing away with them altogether! I don't see them doing anything useful anyway, except try to stop our demonstrations! Ban guns! Ban the police! Live for a better tomorrow!"
[Accept]

:ermm: See, this is one of those issues that's going to radically warp my nation, no matter what I do..... :(

I'm gonna ban police, and see what happens. I was #2 in best crime rates, so I SHOULD be okay, but I'm sure this is going to backfire in the worst way.....

JKLantern

01/31/2008, 14:38

:ermm: See, this is one of those issues that's going to radically warp my nation, no matter what I do..... :(

I'm gonna ban police, and see what happens. I was #2 in best crime rates, so I SHOULD be okay, but I'm sure this is going to backfire in the worst way.....

If I get this one, I'll pick the special force option and see what happens. Because Big JK's Special Peace Force Loves You and Wants You to Be Happy.

Magnito

01/31/2008, 14:41

I just okayed people to marry their cats.

Thawmus

01/31/2008, 14:46

If I get this one, I'll pick the special force option and see what happens. Because Big JK's Special Peace Force Loves You and Wants You to Be Happy.

Oh, if Depression-ville gets it, there's no question as to which way I'll go. :devious:

kontrol

01/31/2008, 14:50

The Scordrag S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.
The Debate

1. Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Freddy Mombota, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"
[Accept]

2. "What are these lunatics on about?!" yells Freddy Love, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"
[Accept]

----
Heh.

malakim2099

02/01/2008, 11:39

The Issue

A group of Greenpeace protesters have called for an end to a government proposal to begin damming rivers in Malakovia to increase water supplies and generate power.
The Debate

1. "Don't build dams!" shouts protestor Hack Jong-Il through a microphone heavily afflicted with feedback. "Do you know how many fish die in other dams in our region each year? Have you heard of the adverse effects building a dam has on the surrounding environment? Dam up this flood of dams, damn it!"
[Accept]

2. "Think before you open your mouth," says engineer Jennifer Broadside. "While Malakovia may have to pay the price in animal diversity, as well as adverse effects on the environment, do we really want fossil-fuel based plants polluting Malakovia? If you use your common sense, I think you'll find that damming some rivers would be a good idea. Plus, think of how much the economy would benefit from all the jobs these projects would create."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

* * * * * * * * *

I think regardless, my environment will take a hit. Ah well, let's at least take a hit in the direction of clean power. :)

Doombot 3.1

02/01/2008, 12:50

Seriously, who writes these issues? :tired:

Also, my country is dead last on the list of smartest citizens! :laugh:

The Issue
A coalition of tribalists, health experts, and civil rights proponents have recently suggested legalizing cannibalism for consumers of willing would-be meals.

The Debate
"I see absolutely no problem with people digging into each other at dinnertime, so long as everyone is willing," Klaus Li, the editor of the monthly magazine 'To Serve Man', quips, "Not only does it solve hunger problems and create jobs, but it also adds variety to Saralto's sometimes dull palette."
[Accept]

Civil rights leader Peggy Wong came out publicly for moderate pro-cannibalism legislation, commenting, "While it may strike some as a crude, even evil practice, our ancestors have practiced cannibalism for years. If we create a government organization to strictly regulate and grade all human meat prior to its arrival on the market, we can ensure that respect for diversity is maintained while health concerns are also allayed. And instead of killing average people, why not make being turned into snack foods a post-mortem option? Like donating your body to science!"
[Accept]

"You're all absolutely out of your minds!" exclaims Stephanie King, head of Saralto's largest health-food manufacturer. "It's immoral, it's unhealthy, and it's disgusting. Not only are these so-called 'dietary rights' activists leading us down a dark path of sin, but right into a marketplace with yet another product that's almost as bad as beef!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

Rokk_Krinn

02/01/2008, 12:55

I think I may have to dismiss an issue. Even though people have mentioned it, I still can't believe this beauty pageant one. :rolleyes:

darius_dax1

02/01/2008, 13:45

The Issue
After several reports of pet chupacabras violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
"These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says Charles Rubin, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"
[Accept]

"Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover Charles Dodinas, covered in scars from previous encounters with chupacabrass. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"
[Accept]

"I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says Gregory Fellow, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."
[Accept]

"Who cares!?" screams Buffy Gutenberg as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.

JKLantern

02/01/2008, 15:25

The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.

The Debate
"These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer Charles Dredd. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
[Accept]

"These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads Dave Longfellow. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
[Accept]

"Animals have feelings too!" yelled protestor Prudence Spirit, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
[Accept]

Economist Peggy Li has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
------------------------------------------------------
Big Chief JK cares about animals almost as much as he cares about the size of his wallet.

JackAssterson

02/01/2008, 15:27

I'm an Anarchy again.

I don' wanna be an anarchy.

Sniffle.

Choke.

Sob.

Don' wanna.

Thawmus

02/01/2008, 15:32

I wish I could get Depression-ville to be a Psychotic Dictatorship again.

I keep getting greedy, and boosting my economy. Now I have to work actively to tank it to hell.

hail_eris

02/01/2008, 17:43

Huh. Django-Reinhardt went from having lush forests this morning to being a desolate wasteland around lunchtime. And now, a few hours later, I'm back to being a tropical paradise. Apparently, increasing funding to schools makes trees grow.

kontrol

02/04/2008, 12:56

Undergrounds? Hmm, must be British.

--------------------------------------------------------
A group of transport analysts have suggested that a charge of five dragoons a day for vehicle access to Scordrag's most congested inner-cities during peak hours is the only way to solve their ever-growing traffic problem.
The Debate

1. "Similar schemes have been very effective elsewhere," says Bill Jong-Il, Scordrag's most infamous traffic warden. "It's common sense that the best way to curb dangerously high demand is to raise the price of the supply - or, as in this case, to create a price. Charging citizens to go into more congested areas could, combined with the improvements to public transport it will finance, actually make people choose public transport over their cars. I don't see why people shouldn't pay tax for a little less traffic on our roads."
[Accept]

2. "These tolls are a preposterous idea," argues road lobbyist, Pete Dodinas. "Public transport will never replace the car - I don't want to be forced to share my space with a bunch of malodorous working-class people on my way to work. Not that I would be, because I could afford the charge, but really, it's the principle of the matter! The only solution is to expand urban road networks. True, some pavements and green spots would have to go, but those pedestrians should be able to put up with that if they're to expect Scordrag to be part of the modern world."
[Accept]

3. "Allowing cars to scoot around and pollute our cities was a bad idea in the first place," says Calvin Hanover, a famous environmentalist. "The solution is to restrict private transport to main roads and motorways whilst funding a major urban public transport scheme. Our buses and undergrounds could be the envy of the world! Yes, the car companies will suffer a little, and yes, there'll be a bit more tax, but wouldn't it be worth it for a bit of fresh air and safe streets for the children?"
[Accept]

Doombot 3.1

02/04/2008, 13:33

The Issue
The space research organization in Saralto has requested more government funding for space-related research and development, and the possiblity of creating orbital weapons platforms has become a topic of intense debate.

The Debate
General Buy Licorish says, "We should spend more. But not just on exploration. We should start developing Orbital Weapons! Space Marines! Armed Spacecraft! We would rule the region, and look cool doing it! Just divert some funding from environmental protection, and BAM! Sci-fi goodies!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

Noted Scientist and pacifist writer Lars Jones thinks otherwise, "No! Space is a place for peace! It's the only place left we've got that we haven't screwed up. Oh, the space program still needs funding, don't get me wrong, but none of this 'military in space' stuff will do! We ought to divert funding from the military to education and space research instead!"
[Accept]

Fringe Group Leader Roxanne Mombota disagrees, "Space is a total waste of time. We should spend more on stuff people actually CARE about. Like voting rights and protecting the environment! Forget that fancy-schmancy space station!"
[Accept]

malakim2099

02/05/2008, 09:15

So my choices are slavery, integration, declaring war on both of these losers, or sticking my head in the sand...

(Though, the thought of eBay-Malakovia having a "slave" section amuses me greatly...)

Good grief! :rolleyes:

********************
The Issue

After a series of bloody wars between the nations of Maxtopia and North Bigtopia, fights have broken out in the streets between immigrants in Malakovia who came from the warring nations.

The Debate

1. "Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances," begins Hope Shiomi, whose opinions form the book '101 Arguments FOR Slavery'. "What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Malakovia folks slaves! I mean, who in Malakovia wouldn't like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!"
[Accept]

2. "I am shocked and appalled at what my colleague is suggesting!" exclaims Falala Licorish, President of the Civil Rights Union of Malakovia. "Slavery? We should punish these offenders, yes, but send them to rehabilitation centres instead! As for the ethnic squabbles, programs in school should begin to stop these racist attitudes in childhood! All it will take is some slight fortification to the education budget!"
[Accept]

3. A quiet old man stands up to speak. "Now, I may be a quiet old man, but I believe that these ethnic disputes are none of the government's business. It's not our war anyway, so it's not our problem. I'm sure if you leave it alone, it'll work itself out. Just think of the money that would be saved if the police don't have to be paid to deal with this!"
[Accept]

4. "It's not our war? It's not our war?" cries (in)famous Malakovia-born fascist Miranda Wong. "Well maybe it's time it became our war! Malakovia should take a more active, and by 'active' I mean 'hostile', role in international politics! This ethnic squabbling will be over when the war is over, and WE can end that war and purge the impure! Cogito ergo es! Sieg Malakovia!"
[Accept]

Truffle Shuffle

02/05/2008, 10:02

The Issue
A collection of citizens, civil rights workers, and concerned mothers have signed a petition to stop the manufacturing of the 'BFG-69' (AKA 'the Organ Grinder'), a new rifle planned to be used in the military which works by shredding people's internal organs.

The Debate
"If we don't produce these weapons we will be left behind in the arms race," says Elizabeth King, director of the Alliance of Rifles, Grenades, and Handguns. "These weapons are the future and it won't just stop with the BFG-69. We're planning on introducing the Bone-Breaker 109-DX Sonic Rocket Launcher next year along with our anthrax grenade line. If A Utopian Way of Life is going to stay ahead of the game then it'll just have to accept that highly destructive weaponry is part of life. We'd also like to sell it commercially to your police force and citizens if you'd just sign here...?"
[Accept]

"This rifle is completely inhumane," says Dr Falala Trax, leaning on a cane. "These weapons are unnecessarily violent - how can anyone condone something that rips apart your innards like this? how long do you think it will be before these new inventions get into the wrong hands? Shootings are bad enough but at least most people are just wounded. The BFG-69 and those of its ilk are lethal in the extreme and are completely unacceptable! We need some moral decency here and get rid of these unconventional weapons along with all the other shameful armaments like mustard gas."
[Accept]

"Excuse me, but whenever has anyone ever heard of a weapon that WAS humane?" asks Peggy Johnson, ballistics expert. "These are devices for firing slugs of metal at people. It's not nice, but it IS necessary. People are always so squeamish. They've already accepted the standard ripping through the body of the standard bullet but the moment something a little more effective is made they kick up a fuss. Typical. We're not making rocking horses here, we're protecting A Utopian Way of Life against her enemies! Just this once, let's try to stay ahead of them."
[Accept]
**********************************8

That's disturbing. I dismissed it.

JKLantern

02/05/2008, 13:02

The Issue
The space research organization in Bartonella has requested more government funding for space-related research and development, and the possiblity of creating orbital weapons platforms has become a topic of intense debate.

The Debate
General Klaus Licorish says, "We should spend more. But not just on exploration. We should start developing Orbital Weapons! Space Marines! Armed Spacecraft! We would rule the region, and look cool doing it! Just divert some funding from environmental protection, and BAM! Sci-fi goodies!"

Noted Scientist and pacifist writer Aaron Rubin thinks otherwise, "No! Space is a place for peace! It's the only place left we've got that we haven't screwed up. Oh, the space program still needs funding, don't get me wrong, but none of this 'military in space' stuff will do! We ought to divert funding from the military to education and space research instead!"

Fringe Group Leader Al Summers disagrees, "Space is a total waste of time. We should spend more on stuff people actually CARE about. Like voting rights and protecting the environment! Forget that fancy-schmancy space station!"
----------------------------------------
Because Big Chief JK wants a Death Star, and Space Weapons lead to Battlemechs.

Iron Ham

02/06/2008, 21:00

The Armed Republic of Iron Ham is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 101 million are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defence, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Cheese Exports.

Sex offenders find themselves 'cut off' from any ability to repeat their crimes, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been recorded, public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people", and homosexuality is a crime punishable by death. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is relatively low, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Iron Ham's national animal is the ferroporcine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the hammy.

Iron Ham is ranked 12th in the region and 18,959th in the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.

hail_eris

02/07/2008, 17:34

A niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed, the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy, and citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. Crime is totally unknown.

My people are anything but consistent, even in matters of illegality...

darius_dax1

02/11/2008, 23:14

This is my favorite write-up to date:
The Dominion of Darius Dax is a very large, safe nation, notable for its complete absence of social welfare. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 146 million are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defence, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales industries.

Motorists' locations are constantly tracked by intelligence and law enforcement agencies, membership in the state-owned Church of Darius Dax is mandatory and all other faith organisations are banned, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, and the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Darius Dax's national animal is the chupacabras, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the soul.

Darius Dax is ranked 9th in the region and 16,473rd in the world for Most Pro-Market Nations.

JKLantern

02/12/2008, 02:11

Third paragraph is awesome.

The Nomadic Peoples of Bartonella is a very large, devout nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, cynical population of 89 million are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defence, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 29%, but much higher for the wealthy. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling industries.

An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry, graffiti graces every city's streets, and drunk drivers are sentenced to death. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Bartonella's national animal is the Ted Nugent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Bearclaw.

charlesx

02/12/2008, 10:42

The Holy Empire of Charlesxenosupremacy has even now come into being in NationRealms this very day!

"The Holy Empire of Charlesxenosupremacy is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed population of 5 million are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government is mainly concerned with Law & Order, although Religion & Spirituality and Commerce are secondary priorities. The average income tax rate is 25%, but much higher for the wealthy. A substantial private sector is led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, followed by Furniture Restoration and Information Technology.

Crime is moderate. Charlesxenosupremacy's national animal is the platypus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the cx bezant."

malakim2099

02/12/2008, 18:25

Hehehehe. Somehow I went from being a crazy socialist democracy to a Father Knows Best State... who knew that term limits were vital to democracy. :cheeky:

The United Socialist States of Malakovia is a very large, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate, cynical population of 134 million are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defence, Social Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 58%, and even higher for the wealthy. A substantial private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Basket Weaving and Cheese Exports.

Every product goes through extensive safety-testing by the government, same-sex marriages are increasingly common, elected officials often serve for decades in a single term, and female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malakovia's national animal is the rabid wombat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Clix.

Malakovia is ranked 25th in the region and 48,785th in the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector.

Lofcutus

02/13/2008, 01:14

I started a nation up about a week ago...Frothinsloth...

So far it's not that impressive...

The Democratic States of Frothinsloth is a small, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 10 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 16%. A healthy private sector is led by the Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture industries.
Political parties are banned from advertising and receiving private donations, voting is voluntary, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables. Crime is moderate. Frothinsloth's national animal is the Side of Beef and its currency is the Pebble.
Frothinsloth is ranked 20,743rd in the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector.

My goal is to not try to reach any type of government, but just select the first knee-jerk response I have to every issue and see where that gets me...

GroovyBoy

02/13/2008, 15:15

Has anybody gotten the cannibalism issue yet? I (Anvilanian States) was close to going with the highly regulated option, but just couldn't pull the trigger and banned it instead. I was worried that cannibalism would hurt tourism...

JKLantern

02/13/2008, 15:17

Antipathy

02/15/2008, 03:16

I really like this issue.

Supreme Court Nomination
Government Acts
The Issue

The death of 108 year old Supreme Court Justice Zeke Frederickson has created an opening on the bench. Below are the possible nominees.
The Debate

1. Sue-Ann Longfellow, the Former CEO of Antigony Products, says "I have long sat by and watched our government vicously attack the big businesses in this country. The government has no right to control businesses and I will adopt that position in all of my judgements."
[Accept]

2. Reverend Chastity Winters is nominee #2. The Reverend says "I am sick and tired of the liberals in this country ruining our family values. Every day they assault our basic sense of decency. You must vote for me to keep our families safe. Think of the children!"
[Accept]

3. Gay Activist and former Senator Charles Rubin is nominee #3. "Our people aren't happy, we need more freedom, we need more civil rights. We must keep the government out of the bedroom. We must respect peoples right to privacy and remember that personal relations are just that, personal."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

4. Environmental Activist Pete Washington argues, "Our government has been constantly violating Mother Earth and her rights, all our politicians talk about are civil rights, civil rights this, civil rights that, blah blah blah, we aren't important, what is important is the Earth!"
[Accept]

5. The last nominee is the retired Five Star General Jean-Paul Silk. "We are ridiculed throughout the international community for our low quality weaponry, our police and military numbers are not sufficient. Our military must be protected from both constitutional and civilian oversight. They should be given money, and a free hand."
[Accept]

6. Finally, a tomato flies by your head flung by an angry protester. "We want to elect our own judges! This is a democracy! More power to the people! We don't want a lapdog! Separation of Powers! Get the government out of the judicial system!" He chucks another tomato at you before security escorts him out of your private office.
[Accept]

Manchine

02/15/2008, 18:11

Added mine The Dominion of Moonbase 01

JKLantern

02/16/2008, 16:10

I just got the Cannibalism issue. I picked the moderate option, which allows people to donate their body to being eaten post-mortem, and also requires that the quality of the human meat be checked by the government.

Finger lickin' good!

hail_eris

02/20/2008, 14:01

Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, abortions are routinely performed in Django-Reinhardt's hospitals, bizarre-looking creatures called 'domesticated ferretdogs' dominate wildlife preserves, and people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. Crime is totally unknown. Django-Reinhardt's national animal is the domesticated ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the gitan.

With the exception of the mutant animals roaming my national parks, I think I've managed to create something close to my own version of an idyllic paradise...

Darkseid Sr.

02/20/2008, 14:49

The Empire of Legitimate Beings is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, intelligent population of 199 million are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Religion & Spirituality, and Education. The average income tax rate is 51%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports industries.

All guns must be registered, welfare funding has recently gone through the roof, jails have become colloquially known as 'vampire houses', and the government is seen to favor Catholics. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Legitimate Beings's national animal is the hedgehog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the dinero.

I haven't really changed much in terms of economy or style of government.

JKLantern

02/20/2008, 15:35

Most interesting issue since I got the cannibal one.

During the construction of a new Hyper-Mega-Ultra-Super Mall, construction workers have unearthed what appears to be an ancient temple. A furious debate has arisen between those who wish to preserve it, and those who need their retail therapy.

The Debate
"This is the perfect opportunity to learn more of our nation's history!" says Professor Akira Fellow, head of the archaeological department of the Bartonella History Museum. "All building work must be halted immediately so that my team can study this remarkable piece of our nation's past. To bury these ruins under some concrete eyesore would be criminal!"

"It's all very nice to get to know some more about our past," argues foreman Gregory Washington. "But that's just the thing! It's the past! We must think of the future. If you allow those decrepit fossils to take over this place, you put at risk the future of our economy! Today it's archaeological digs, tomorrow it's 'preservation of the environment'. Just let me bulldoze the worthless pile of rubble and bury it under a few hundred tonnes of concrete."

"Behold, the hour has arrived! The Holy Temple of Firefury Amahira has been unearthed!" proclaims Yon-Zhauryg v'Klot, leader of the Cult of the Undead Ted Nugent. "This land is sacred, and must not be befouled by these corporations! No-one but the enlightened children of Firefury must be allowed to venture inside our rediscovered sanctuary, where we will perform the required rituals to please the Great Goddess and prevent Her from unleashing Her wrath upon the world."

---------------------------------------------

Bom Hallaboo! Bom Hallaboo! Bom Hallaboo!