The B-17 flies yet again!!!!

[Kalel21]

We'll actually be flying Mission #13 (what a lucky number to re-start on!!!) this weekend. I'll post the results on Monday.

[Space Jawa]

About time! Those dang Nazi's aren't going to bomb themselves, you know.

[get_1]

About time! Those devilishly charming girls aren't going to bomb themselves, you know.

I fixed it for you. :rolleyes:

(I still can't believe my first mission as pilot went down with nearly all hands lost! Yargh!)

[Grinner]

The restless dead cry out for vengeance while Kalel21 rescues a shiny Princess and then turns into a caterpillar. How sad. :(

I seem to recall the restless dead showing up in more than one game of Once Upon A Time around here :devious: :laugh:

[GroovyBoy]

I better escape from the friggin stalag before everybody's imaginary transgendered cousins take to the sky...

[BigDaddyHub]

About time! Those dang Nazi's aren't going to bomb themselves, you know.


well, to be fair, they tried (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Valkyrie)

[GroovyBoy]

well, to be fair, they tried (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Valkyrie)

Yeah, but Tom Cruise can't do anything right since joining Scientology...

[BudPalmer]

He did get rid of Nicole Kidman. ;)

[charlesx]

He did get rid of Nicole Kidman. ;)

Funny. I thought that she got rid of him! :cool:

[BigDaddyHub]

I propose that we name our new B-17 "Frank Miller's The Spirit" because if we can bomb as big as that movie, we will end this war by April!

[Kalel21]

Just to let you all know:


Very, very first-day-of-class busy at work here. I'll post the Mission #13 results when I can, but can't promise a time.

[charlesx]

Just to let you all know:


Very, very first-day-of-class busy at work here. I'll post the Mission #13 results when I can, but can't promise a time.

Translation:

"I am currently surrounded by a renegade band of Cornish pixies that is trying to turn the long-lost heiress of the Kingdom of Neep into a chicken nugget so that they can steal her away. I'll get around to that other boring real-life WW2 game where people get shot down all the time as soon as I use my magic golden rutabaga to transform the pixies into harmless turtle doves which will befriend me and guide us out of the Fairy Woods of the Nasty Bog Sinkies so that we can finally bring joy and happiness to the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Neep."

:cool::laugh::cool::grin:

[BudPalmer]

I wish crazy-man would send us on some more missions. This thread had slipped to page two of my subscribed threads.

[charlesx]

I wish crazy-man would send us on some more missions. This thread had slipped to page two of my subscribed threads.

That must be some tough renegade band of Cornish pixies. They've had Kalel21 tied up for more than a week. Guess he should really start thinking of using his faerie ring of happy wishes and conjuring up some pixie-be-gone pest spray. Maybe all they really want is a shrubbery... :cool:

[Kalel21]

I do apologize for letting this thread slip. I've had a nasty cold for over a week and I got wrapped up in preparing to do a talk to a History of Illustration class on Milt Caniff and his Terry and the Pirates comic strip (which was, ironically, very popular among Army Air Force guys during the war).

And, then, of course, there was my recent decision to go insane. It's hard to play through one of these missions when I've decided that the dice are actually a pair of tiny talking brontosaurs named George and Lenny, who want to talk about the influence of early Dick Tracy comics on 1940s American Film Noir. Those conversations actually grow quite involved and time-consuming.


I'll try to get us up on another misison soon.

[Ignatz_Mouse]

I would enjoy talking to those dice.

[Kalel21]

I would enjoy talking to those dice.

I certainly enjoy my talks with them. It's amazing how rarely the subject of the influence of early Dick Tracy on 1940s American Film Noir comes up in conversation with most people, so I always appreciate the opportunity to expound on it to tiny, imaginary dinosaurs.

[anonym0use]

The grand Kingdom's Air Vessel Raiders MISSION #13:
It’s our first trip into the Kingdom of Neep itself today. We’re hitting the "Gnome Home" modular mushroom house factory at GoldenLute, flying low over the murky waters of The Bog of Mists most of the way there and back.
Zone 1—We take off.
Zone 2—No enemy activity.
Zone 3—Two waves of Cornish Pixies attack from the bog. The first is driven off by other war wizards in our formation who create the illusion of a giant Dan Rather wielding a broadsword.
The 2nd wave consists of Ogres riding Pteradons and wielding longbows. Our Pegasus escorts chase away two of them and BudPalmer damages and drives off the last with a burst of cauliflower sprouts from his pneumatic spatula.
Zone 4—No enemy activity.
Zone 5—For the first time, we leave all our escorts behind as we fly deeper into occupied Neep. No enemy Dragons appear, though, so we're in luck. It's looking like all those Horseshoes JoH is wearing around his neck have paid off.
Zone 6—Over the target at GoldenLute and the weather is good. Luck is with us as other bombers in our formation drive off the one wave of Pixie fighters that attack.
We drop down for the bomb run. The flak is light and we take a minor hit to the Beach Ball Turret. Antipathy loses use of his portable Iron stove and becomes chilly, but he can live with it. Rokk Krinn’s aim is off and our bombs miss the Gnome Home factory, exploding a matchstick factory to matchsticks.
We turn for home.
Zone 6—4 Trouble! Jackassterson is found dead in the cockpit, bludgeoned by a blunt object. Traces of Ginger noodle soup are found on his RIGHT shirt sleeve, although Jack was eating spatzel at the time - with his LEFT hand no less! Apparently one of the crew members is the culprit. We have a mystery to solve. We radio Atticus Finch back at base to let him know our status. Danger piles on as another wave of Flying Dinosaurs swoops towards us. BudPalmer damages and drives off one of them with more sprouts, but the last Pteradon scores hits on the starboard balloon and Pilot Piano Lounge. Fortunately, the damage is superficial. Ignatz_Mouse easily inflates our spare innertube piano with helium, and we're good to keep the music playing for the crew.
Zone 5—TAK breaks the glass on the "In Case of Emegency..." Detective kit, assembling a wind up Jane Marple from tinker toys. Outside the airship our luck has run out as 2 dragons attack, frying the Starboard Wing and setting fire to the billiards room. Both the pool tables and the landing gear brakes are knocked out. This means landing her majesty's most exonerated airship has suddenly become a dangerous job.
The Dragon is scared off by the piano music coming from the pilots lounge. Good thing we inflated the spare piano. Miss Marple investigates the murder while making a nice scarf to keep Antipathy warm. She pries into everyone's life and makes them feel uncomfortable. Grinner makes an exciting discovery and radios up to the co-pilot to inform the crew to meet him in the radio room.
Zone 4—The murderer strikes again! We've lost radio contact, as the radio room has been smashed. The dastardly culprit thought of everything as even the auxiliary telephone lines have been cut. Grinner lies dead on the floor, suffocated by a paper bag. We're almost back within range of our fighter escorts, but our time is running out. We need to find the murderer! Miss Marple quickly addresses the situation and tells us all to meet in the parlor in an hour.
Zone 3—A Harpy, possibly attracted by the piano music literally screams down fom above us, striking our pastry kitchen. We suffer the loss of all our scones and croissants in a fire. Tea Time is ruined, and there will be no confectionery treats for Miss Marple's parlor room reveal.
Zone 2—The Dishwasher breaks permanently forcing Melkhor to scrub by hand. We all meet in the parlor and wonder who is steering the vessel. Miss Marple begins to unfold the mystery, explaining that the long lost son of the King of Neep had an affair with an Ogresses daughter. Just as she's about to get to the good part with the chicken nuggets she is quickly pummeled by JackofHearts wielding (Gasp!) a dented thermos full of Ginger Noodle soup. His impatience has revealed himself as the traitor! Rokk attempts to shoot JoH, but the bullets bounce off his lucky Horseshoes. JoH leaps from the plane taking all the parachutes, laughing maniacally. Tragically, he is never brought to justice as he lands facedown in the Bog, his Horseshoes holding his head one inch under the water where he drowns. The crew has bigger worries as the airship is going down! The Villainous JackofHearts has sabotaged the controls of the ship with his wooden shoes! To make matters worse he's wired the Propane tanks on the outdoor grills to explode!
Zone 1—We arrive home trying to decide which wires to cut on the bomb as the timer counts itself down. Antipathy finally suggests throwing the grills overboard, where they explode harmlessly in the backyards of cottage elves. With the controls jammed, and no way to land the plane, Melkhor gives the orders to abandon ship, and our heroes head to the inflatable life rafts. They inflate the rafts falling in mid-air as the vessel explodes in a fireball against the mountain's peak. Preforming an emergency mountain landing they fall several thousand feet to an Indian village that has no children, and is missing their sacred stone. Looks like our heroes have another mystery to solve!
Pilot & fodder—JackAssterson - KIA
Co-Pilot & Lead Singer--Melkhor
Bombardier & Alto Saxaphone —Rokk Krinn
Navigator & Traitor - JackofHearts
Salad Shooter & Vegetable launcher - BudPalmer
Telephone Operator and Pastry chef—Grinner KIA
Beach Ball Turret Gunner and leader of the chorus— Antipathy
Washing Machine operator & piano player--theanalogkid
Wine tester & beverage officer Ignatz Mouse
Giant, Invisible, Whining Mole Rats - Harold
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 4
Now, that was awesome.

[Kalel21]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to anonym0use again.


That was awesome!!!

[Ignatz_Mouse]

Now, that was awesome.

Indeed it was.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to anonym0use again.

[BigDaddyHub]

That's exactly the way it went down for real.

[GroovyBoy]

Now, that was awesome.

Did I escape the Stalag during that mission?

[batfink]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to anonym0use again.

Wow.

[Grinner]

Yet another "must spread rep" message.

That was hilarious!

[Kalel21]

Sorry-sorry-sorry.


We flew a mission last night, but I forgot to bring in the flash drive containing the mission de-briefing so I could post it.


Who lived and who died? Did we hit the target? Hopefully, I'll be able to let you all know tomorrow.

[charlesx]

Now, that was awesome.

Beyond awesome. Hats off to anonym0use and rep unto thee. :laugh:

[Kalel21]

MISSION #13:

A mass escape from Stalag 13 (digging under the wire with sharpened spoons, hiding for 3 days in a disused barge along the Rhine River, hooking up with Combat Kelly and the Deadly Dozen, helping with a mission to blow up a ball bearing factory, then meeting a submarine near Cherbourg for a trip back to England), Groovyboy, JacinB and St. Cuthbert return to active duty. New crewmembers are drawn randomly from the Reserves to fill out the other spots on the plane. After an extensive re-fit and re-training time for the crew, we are immediately sent back to Germany, with orders to bomb the rail yard at Hamm.

Zone 1—We take off.

Zone 2—The enemy wastes little time. Two FW 190s sweep in for an attack. The escorting Spitfires drive away one. The other makes an attack run at us, but misses and flies off.

Zone 3—No enemy activity.

Zone 4—Four ME 109s attack, but our defensive fire is up to the job. The Spitfires drive off one and BigDaddyHub drives off another with an extended burst from the Port Waist Gun. JacinB shoots down yet another. The last 109 misses us and flies away.

Zone 5—We’re outside the range of our escorts now. Alternate AlienFlanders damages a single attacking ME 109 with the Tail guns and chases it away.

Zone 6— Two twin-engine ME 110s attack. AAF gets one with a burst from the Tail Turret. St. Cuthbert in the Ball Turret damages the other and drives it away.

Zone 7— Over the target, which is obscured by cloud cover. An FW 190 swoops up out of the clouds and attacks. Our defensive fire misses and the enemy fighter scores some superficial hits on the Pilot Compartment. It comes around for another pass, but misses us completely this time.

We drop down for the bomb run. Anti-aircraft fire is light and ineffectual. Despite the poor weather, Milton Mouse zeros in on the rail yard and slams 20% of out bombs into the target. Tracks, box cars and locomotives are torn apart.

We turn for home.

Zone 7—A single FW 190 screams down on us in a vertical dive, avoiding fire from the Top Turret and Radio Room gun. But it misses us and flies off.

Zone 6—No enemy activity.

Zone 5—No enemy activity.

Zone 4—We’re back in range of our escorts, but an ME 110 and an ME 109 avoid the Spitfires and attack. Groovyboy mans the Starboard Cheek Gun and shoots down the 110. The 109 misses us.

Zone 3—Other bombers in our formation drive off the attacking fighters.

Zone 2—No enemy activity.

Zone 1—We arrive home and the weather is good. We land safely.

It’s a highly successful mission. We survived a trip to Germany, got three enemy fighters and hit the target. Then we returned home with nothing more than a few bullet holes in the Pilot Compartment.

Will our luck hold out on future missions?



Pilot—Bobpalmer

Co-Pilot—Robo Jawa

Bombardier—Milton Mouse

Navigator—Groovyboy (1 kill)

Flight Engineer/Top Turret gunner— JacinB (2 kills)

Radio Operator—Charlesx Jr.

Ball Turret Gunner—St. Cuthbert

Starboard Waist Gunner—JOH2005’s Identical 2nd Cousin

Port Waist Gunner—BigDaddyHub

Tali Gunner—Alternate AlienFlanders (1 kill)


SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 6

POWS:

ENEMY PLANES SHOT DOWN: 14

KIA: Antipathy, CurBludgeon, Space Jawa, get 1, DarkCorsair, anonymOuse, batfink, charlesx, JackAssterson, Melkhor, Rokk Krinn, AlienFlanders, BudPalmer, Grinnner, Jackofhearts2005, theanalogkid, Yhtapitna, Ignatz Mouse.

POW:

INVALIDED HOME: Kalel21

RESERVES: Anonymoose, BurCludgeon, karate, JeevesCorsair, TIK, Frowner, Antipathy III, Count Sexula,

[Ignatz_Mouse]

Whoo hoo! I made dad proud with the load of bricks I just dropped on the Ratzis!

[BigDaddyHub]

Come on to the port side, ya dirty krauts!

[GroovyBoy]

Woo hoo! I escape AND get a kill! Take THAT, Third Reich!!!

[get_1]

More deaths! Come on BobPalmer, make another one of those disastrous piloting choices that results in all hands lost!

Whoo!

[BudPalmer]

More deaths! Come on BobPalmer, make another one of those disastrous piloting choices that results in all hands lost!

Whoo!

Hey, hey! I've never been a pilot before perhaps I've found my true calling!

[Kalel21]

Everyone take a look at this:


Luftwaffe vs. B-17s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Vc3TJXASw&feature=related)

[BigDaddyHub]

wow thnx kal!

[Kalel21]

MISSION #14:

Command assigns us a milk run today—a quick trip over the Channel to pound the industrial works at Lille. But even on this supposedly quick and easy mission, a little of that milk is almost spilled.

Zone 1—We take off.

Zone 2—No enemy activity.

Zone 3—Over the target and the weather is good. But there’s very few friendly fighters in sight. A single FW 190 screams down at us from above. He evades fire from the Top Turret and Radio Room Gun and opens fire with his own 2 machine guns and four 20mm cannon. Enemy rounds rip into the bomb bay and ricochet off the 5000 pounds of high explosive bombs still located there.


Fortunately, the bombs do not detonate. The 190 swings around for another run, coming in at our rear. Once again, he evades fire (this time from the Tail Turret) and opens fire. Hits on the starboard ring chew up the aileron, cutting down on the plane’s maneuverability. This may effect us when we get home and try to land.

The plane comes around for a 3rd pass, but misses us this time. We drop down for the bomb run.

Anti-aircraft fire rips into the Starboard Wing and punches holes in the inboard fuel tank. Fuel begins to leak out. Only the fact that our target is so close to home leaves us with enough fuel to get home.

Despite the jostling taken from these hits, Milton Mouse manages to plant 20% of the bombs into the factories below, destroying machinery and shattering assembly lines.

We turn for home.

Zone 3—Four ME 109s swoop in. Fortunately, some friendly Spitfires have shown up, chasing off two of them. Milton Mouse uses the Nose gun to shoot down another.


The last 109 scores some hits, once again targeting the Starboard Wing. But the damage is superficial. A Spitfire chases the 109 away before it can attack again.


Zone 2—No enemy activity.

Zone 1—Low on fuel, we arrive home. BobPalmer and Groovyboy manage to land the plane safely despite the inoperative aileron.

It was a short mission, but the plane come within an eyetooth of getting blown into atoms. We’ll have to see how it goes next time.



Pilot—Bobpalmer

Co-Pilot—Robo Jawa

Bombardier—Milton Mouse (1 kill)

Navigator—Groovyboy (1 kill)

Flight Engineer/Top Turret gunner— JacinB (2 kills)

Radio Operator—Charlesx Jr.

Ball Turret Gunner—St. Cuthbert

Starboard Waist Gunner—JOH2005’s Identical 2nd Cousin

Port Waist Gunner—BigDaddyHub

Tali Gunner—Alternate AlienFlanders (1 kill)


SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 7

POWS:

ENEMY PLANES SHOT DOWN: 15

KIA: Antipathy, CurBludgeon, Space Jawa, get 1, DarkCorsair, anonymOuse, batfink, charlesx, JackAssterson, Melkhor, Rokk Krinn, AlienFlanders, BudPalmer, Grinnner, Jackofhearts2005, theanalogkid, Yhtapitna, Ignatz Mouse.

POW:

INVALIDED HOME: Kalel21

RESERVES: Anonymoose, BurCludgeon, karate, JeevesCorsair, TIK, Frowner, Antipathy III, Count Sexula,

[Ignatz_Mouse]

I think I've found my calling as bombadier. Plus, I *still* got a kill!

[JacinB]

How and when did I make it back? I've been flying all this time and I didn't even realize it!

(Explains my lack of shootiness, eh?)

[Kalel21]

How and when did I make it back? I've been flying all this time and I didn't even realize it!

(Explains my lack of shootiness, eh?)

You and your fellow Stalag mates escaped just before Mission #13. (See the post on that missions for more details.)

[BigDaddyHub]

*crickets chirping*

[Kalel21]

*crickets chirping*

I know, I know. Sorry, guys, you all gotta be patient until Real Life gives me time to run another mission.

[get_1]

Count Sexula is chomping at the bit to jump in the flying death-trap!

[GroovyBoy]

Count Sexula is chomping at the bit to jump in the flying death-trap!

I vant your... vell, not blood, anyvay...

[Jackofhearts2005]

bump bump:p

[charlesx]

Darn, talk about thread necrophilia!

Hey, do you realize some of us are still lined up for our turns to go up and go out in a blaze of glory amidst the burning skies???

[BudPalmer]

It won't go down like that with BobPalmer at the stick. He's the bestest pilot ever!

[BigDaddyHub]

I forgot that there was even a war on!

[GroovyBoy]

I forgot that there was even a war on!

That can only happen in... AMERICA!!!

[BigDaddyHub]

Well, with Michael Jackson's death, everything has stopped. We have a two front war to win here boys!!!

[Kalel21]

I've started researching my next book, which cuts into my available time to run missions. I'm afraid we're going to stay grounded, guys.


Everybody gets a 48-hour pass, though.

[charlesx]

Hours seem like days... days seem like weeks....

[Ignatz_Mouse]

How many days will it take to fix the ship, if we go by the book?

[charlesx]

If we go by the book, hopefully less than 48 hours to fix the ship.

[hail_eris]

You're on to another book already? I just assumed oversight of EB's comics coverage and I had some manuscript review work that I wanted to send your way. We don't pay much (and my "not much," I mean "probably nothing, pending 09FY budget finalization"), but I could get you author credit on the stuff that you handle.

[Kalel21]

You're on to another book already? I just assumed oversight of EB's comics coverage and I had some manuscript review work that I wanted to send your way. We don't pay much (and my "not much," I mean "probably nothing, pending 09FY budget finalization"), but I could get you author credit on the stuff that you handle.

Let me know what you had in mind--I still might be able to do it.

[Jackofhearts2005]

That can only happen in... AMERICA!!!

You're not American. You're not even wearing a flag on your head.

[Kalel21]

Click HERE (http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=259958) for the new B-17 thread.