View Full Version : The HCRealms saloon fight game
Tomorrow, we are going to have a saloon fight. This is an extremely simple and unstructured game that probably won't actually make a lot of sense, but it should be fun.
You can sign up to take part by posting that you are using one of these three starting options:
1) At poker table--convinced that everyone else is cheating.
2) At the bar, getting plastered and proving to be an angry drunk.
3) Hitting on Miss Kitty and jealous of anyone else who does the same.
Everybody gets 100 fight points (FP) and 100 hit points (HP)
When you hit someone with your fist, you use up 1 FP and does 1 HP damage to victim
Hitting someone with a bottle: 2 FP and 2 HP damage to victim.
Hitting someone with a chair: 5 FP & 5 HP damage to victim.
Sliding someone down the bar: 5 FP & the victim loses a turn.
Throwing someone through a window: 10 FP, victim takes 3HP damage and loses a turn.
Jumping on bar/table and kicking someone in the face: 5 FP & does 5 HP damage.
Most damage is cumulative (if you're slugged by more than one person, you take the damage multiple times.) But you only take 1 attack worth of damage from being slid down the bar or thrown through the window regardless of how many people do that to you in one turn.
All attacks are simultaneous, regardless of whether this actually seems to make sense or not.
You are always able to attack any other player, even if they were just thrown through a window.
When you run out of HP, you're knocked out and out of the game.
When you run out of FP, you must forgo attacking for at least one turn (though you can still be attacked.) Each turn you skip regenerates 20 FP.
Everyone can make one attack per day. After I resolve the attacks, you can post your next attack.
Please sign up for the fight by posting your starting option. (The starting options, by the way, don't effect game play at all. They're just there to add some color to the game.)
Jackofhearts2005
04/07/2009, 16:33
I'll play and start by hitting on miss kitty.
JackAssterson
04/07/2009, 17:02
"Eight Aces" Assterson, second cousin to Bat Masterson will start at the poker table.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/07/2009, 17:11
I will play and hit on Miss Kitty. Mr. Missing Teeth over there can't have her to himself.
JKLantern
04/07/2009, 17:38
"Jack the Knife" Lantern'll be at the Poker Table. Five Kings!
Space Jawa
04/07/2009, 18:18
Ha! I knew you were cheating! Doesn't matter, though, seeing as I've got meself a Royal Flush!
JKLantern
04/07/2009, 19:19
Ha! I knew you were cheating! Doesn't matter, though, seeing as I've got meself a Royal Flush!
That toilet doesn't count as a Face Card!
St-Dumas
04/07/2009, 21:23
I'll be at the bar.
I so depressed...
JKLantern
04/07/2009, 22:41
I'll be at the bar.
I so depressed...
Because you drink alone? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysXMAOgEIq4)
JackAssterson
04/08/2009, 01:37
Ha! I knew you were cheating! Doesn't matter, though, seeing as I've got meself a Royal Flush!
Eight aces!
Beat that!
JKLantern
04/08/2009, 01:41
Eight aces!
Beat that!
Twelve Dancing Jokers!
spike1138
04/08/2009, 01:46
Barkeep! Another hair o' the dog that bit me here and a frilly sasparilla fer St-Dumas over thar!
St-Dumas
04/08/2009, 01:49
Twelve Dancing Jokers!
And a partridge in a pear tree?
Barkeep! Another hair o' the dog that bit me here and a frilly sasparilla fer St-Dumas over thar!
Thank ye kindly, good feller. Much obliged.
JKLantern
04/08/2009, 01:57
Barkeep! Another hair o' the dog that bit me here and a frilly sasparilla fer St-Dumas over thar!
Hey! While yer over there, get me three shots o' the Colonel! I need my liquid poker face!
JackAssterson
04/08/2009, 03:27
Hey! While yer over there, get me three shots o' the Colonel!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Sanders is down!
Jackofhearts2005
04/08/2009, 03:55
I will play and hit on Miss Kitty. Mr. Missing Teeth over there can't have her to himself.
She's mine ya hear? I seen er first!
Someone says the wrong thing at the wrong time and A FIGHT BREAKS OUT!!!!
THE FIGHT IS ON!!!!
At the bar:
St. Dumas
Spike1158
At the poker table:
JackAssterson
JKLantern
Space Jawa
with Miss Kitty:
JOH2005
Ignatz Mouse.
Everyone has 100 FP & 100 HP:
Please post who you are attacking and how you are attacking him.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/08/2009, 11:02
I'm throwing JOH through a window.
spike1138
04/08/2009, 13:15
I'm hitting Space Jawa over the head with a bottle.
Ah seen ya sneakin' an extra ace up yer sleeve, ya cheatin' varmint!
JackAssterson
04/08/2009, 13:18
I'll hit JKLantern with a chair.
Ah seen ya sneakin' my extra ace up yer sleeve, ya stealin' varmint!
JKLantern
04/08/2009, 13:33
I'm jumpin' on the table and Kickin' "Eight #######s" Assterson in the Face!
JackAssterson
04/08/2009, 13:42
My face! My beautiful face!
Space Jawa
04/08/2009, 14:22
Dag nabbit, spike1138! For that, I'm throwing you out the window!
Jackofhearts2005
04/08/2009, 14:48
Right before he throws me out the window, I'll hit Ignatz Mouse with a chair.
Antipathy
04/08/2009, 15:33
Ah, too late. Maybe the next one.
St-Dumas
04/08/2009, 21:27
Dag nabbit, spike1138! For that, I'm throwing you out the window!
Rassa frassin cheater! That kind feller bought me a drink!
Hit Space Jawa widda bottle!
The BoyBlunder
04/09/2009, 04:02
*continues to play the piano, hoping no one here is a Beastie Boys fan*
St-Dumas
04/09/2009, 04:16
*continues to play the piano, hoping no one here is a Beastie Boys fan*
Freebird!!
Several people get tossed through windows and a lot of glassware and furniture is broken:
St. Dumas: 100 HP/98 FP
Spike1158: 97 HP/98 FP (loses turn)
JackAssterson: 95 HP/95 FP
JKLantern: 95 HP / 95 FP
Space Jawa: 98 HP/90 FP
JOH2005: 97 HP / 95 FP (loses turn)
Ignatz Mouse: 95 HP/90 FP
THE BRUTALITY CONTINUES:
NEW RULE: No one can be forced to lose more than one turn in a row, so neither JOH nor Spike may be thrown through a window or slid down the bar this turn. They may still be attacked in any other way.
Post your next attack/victim any time.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/09/2009, 10:54
Hit JoH with a chair.
JKLantern
04/09/2009, 12:15
Attempt to hit Assterson with a chair, miss, and hit Dumas with a chair instead.
spike1138
04/09/2009, 12:46
Watches the little cartoon birds circle around my head... dadgumit.
Ah, too late. Maybe the next one.
Roundhouse kicks Antipathy back through the saloon's swinging doors.
(I'm not in the game either, but that ain't no reason we can't get in on the action.)
JackAssterson
04/09/2009, 13:31
Roundhouse kicks Antipathy back through the saloon's swinging doors.
(I'm not in the game either, but that ain't no reason we can't get in on the action.)
Why, lookey here, boys! It's onna them fancied up city slickers what wants to fly an airy-plane! Mr. JacinB, you may be Wright, but this is what happens to folk who step into this here saloon!
/attempts to hit JKLantern with bottle, misses and hits SpaceJawa
St-Dumas
04/09/2009, 14:34
Slide JackAssterson down the bar.
Jackofhearts2005
04/09/2009, 14:35
*dusts off the glass*
Space Jawa
04/09/2009, 16:24
Slide JackAssterson down the bar.
*Jumps up on the end of the bar and kicks JackAssterson in the face as he slides by.*
Wow. Jack gets kicked in the face two turns in a row!!!
Everyone's posted, so here's the results a little early.
St. Dumas: 95 HP/93 FP
Spike1158: 97 HP/98 FP
JackAssterson: 90 HP/93 FP (loses turn)
JKLantern: 95 HP / 90 FP
Space Jawa: 96 HP/85 FP
JOH2005: 92 HP / 95 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 95 HP/85 FP
Post your next attacks/victims anytime.
Jackofhearts2005
04/09/2009, 18:13
I'll kick that guy Spike in the face.
spike1138
04/09/2009, 18:33
I'm going to throw JKLantern through a window:
Ah seen that fifth king ya had hid up yer sleeve, yew yaller-bellied card cheat!
Ptwoo! (Spits out tobacky juice.)
Ignatz_Mouse
04/09/2009, 18:58
I will punch Spike.
JackAssterson
04/09/2009, 19:44
My beautiful face!!!
JKLantern
04/09/2009, 20:37
I'm going to throw JKLantern through a window:
Ah seen that fifth king ya had hid up yer sleeve, yew yaller-bellied card cheat!
Ptwoo! (Spits out tobacky juice.)
This reminds me of the time EVERYONE was locked out of our house back east...except we opened the window first...
St-Dumas
04/10/2009, 16:16
Throw Space Jawa out de window!
Also, from now on I want all of you to call me Rocky Raccoon.
Space Jawa
04/10/2009, 18:52
Throwing St-Dumas Out the Window. If I'm flying outside, I'm taking him with me!
This reminds me of the time EVERYONE was locked out of our house back east...except we opened the window first...
Interesting story, but it doesn't tell me WHO THE HECK YOU ARE ATTACKING THIS ROUND!!!!!! :laugh:
JKLantern
04/12/2009, 00:18
Interesting story, but it doesn't tell me WHO THE HECK YOU ARE ATTACKING THIS ROUND!!!!!! :laugh:
My bad! Hit Space Jawa with a bottle!
Gee whiz, there can't be much intact window glass left in this saloon!!!
St. Dumas: 92 HP/83 FP (loses turn)
Spike1158: 91 HP/88 FP
JackAssterson: 90 HP/93 FP
JKLantern: 92 HP / 97 FP (loses turn)
Space Jawa: 91 HP/75 FP (loses turn)
JOH2005: 92 HP / 90 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 95 HP/84 FP
Continue your rampant violence by posting your next attack at your convenience.
JackAssterson
04/12/2009, 00:39
Ah'm kicking Dumas in the face! (after missing JKLantern)
spike1138
04/12/2009, 04:02
Ah'm kicking Ignatz Mouse in the face!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/12/2009, 10:24
Ah'm throwing Spike out the winder!
JKLantern
04/12/2009, 14:03
Ah'mma firin' mah lazer!
JackAssterson
04/12/2009, 14:04
Ah'mma firin' mah lazer!
If'n you fire that lazer, ah'm ridin' my dinosaur!
Jackofhearts2005
04/12/2009, 15:23
I'm throwing a chair out the window.
It lands on spike. :p
St-Dumas
04/12/2009, 16:36
Ah'mma firin' mah lazer!
Ah'mma punchin you inna face!
Wid a bottle!
St. Dumas: 87 HP/81 FP
Spike1158: 83 HP/83 FP (loses turn)
JackAssterson: 90 HP/88 FP
JKLantern: 90 HP / 97 FP
Space Jawa: 91 HP/75 FP
JOH2005: 92 HP / 85 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 90 HP/74 FP
SPECIAL ATTACK AVAILABLE FOR THIS ROUND ONLY: You may spend 20 FP to jump off a table/bar, grab a chandelier and swing with both feet into the face of an opponet. This does 50 HP damage if you hit. BUT there is a 50% chance of missing, accomplishing nothing this turn and looking silly while you hang uselessly from the chandelier.
All other normal attacks are still available.
JKLantern
04/13/2009, 13:05
Ah'm chandelierin' Dumas!
St-Dumas
04/13/2009, 13:20
Ah'mma dodgin that the shandy-leer and kick JK for trying such a thing!
spike1138
04/13/2009, 13:51
Watches the little cartoon birds circle around my head... again. Dadgumit.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/13/2009, 14:44
Chandelier Kick To Spike!
Jackofhearts2005
04/13/2009, 16:26
Chandelier kick to Dumas for the potential ko!
JKLantern
04/13/2009, 17:06
Chandelier kick to Dumas for the potential ko!
How many chandeliers does this saloon have, anyway?
Jackofhearts2005
04/13/2009, 17:17
I don't know. I can just hang onto your feet though.
We're both going to the same place.
There are infinite chandeliers--just as there are infinite bottles and chairs to break.
JackAssterson
04/13/2009, 17:32
Phantom of the Opera chandelier Attack on JoH! Go!
Space Jawa
04/13/2009, 18:22
Wait till JackAssterson lands and try to hit him with a chair - in the face. Then miss and hit JKLantern instead.
JKLantern
04/13/2009, 19:31
Wait till JackAssterson lands and try to hit him with a chair - in the face. Then miss and hit JKLantern instead.
*Blam* The wheels on the bus go round and round...
St. Dumas: 37 HP/76 FP
Spike1158: 33 HP/83 FP
JackAssterson: 85 HP/68 FP (hits chand. attack)
JKLantern: 85 HP / 77 FP (misses chandalier attack)
Space Jawa: 91 HP/70 FP
JOH2005: 42 HP / 65 FP (hits chand. attack)
Ignatz Mouse: 90 HP/54 FP (hits chand. attack)
Time for the next round.
SPECIAL ATTACK AVAILABLE FOR THIS TURN ONLY: A right cross--left jab--right cross--head butt--right uppercut--kick to belly combination. It costs 15 FP and does 25 HP damage. But there is a 50% chance of missing and hitting yourself for 5 HP.
spike1138
04/14/2009, 12:34
Special combo on Space Jawa!
I'll git yew, ya yaller-bellied varmint!
Jackofhearts2005
04/14/2009, 14:08
*tosses Jack out the window*
St-Dumas
04/14/2009, 15:05
Combo attack Jackie H.
That'll teach ya ter shandy-leer me, ya varmit!
JKLantern
04/14/2009, 15:09
Ahm gonna trah ta combo JackA. And miss, and hit Dumas instead!
JackAssterson
04/14/2009, 21:43
Ah'm gonna hit Spike with a bottle o' cheer.
After missing JK.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/14/2009, 23:27
Ah'm a gonna rest!
Jackofhearts2005
04/14/2009, 23:31
Ah'm a gonna rest!
Lookit Ignatz Mouse over thar. Takin a break like a sissy. Had enough ya varmit?
Ignatz_Mouse
04/14/2009, 23:34
Yew wanna go out the winder again, feller?
Space Jawa
04/15/2009, 00:21
Special combo on Space Jawa!
I'll git yew, ya yaller-bellied varmint!
Not if I get you first!
*Special Combo on Spike1138*
St. Dumas: 12 HP/61 FP (combo hits)
Spike1158: 26 HP/68 FP (combo fails)
JackAssterson: 82 HP/66 FP (loses turn)
JKLantern: 85 HP / 62 FP (combo hits)
Space Jawa: 86 HP/55 FP (combo fail)
JOH2005: 17 HP / 55 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 90 HP/74 FP
A couple of you are getting woozy.
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Pick up Miss Kitty and use her for a club. Costs 30 FP and does 30 HP damage. But there is a 50% chance that Miss Kitty will just slap the snot out of you for 10 HP damage.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/15/2009, 11:03
Throw JOH out the window!
JKLantern
04/15/2009, 11:27
Ah'mma gonna try to get that JackA feller a woman. But miss and club Spike with Miss Kitty instead.
Space Jawa
04/15/2009, 12:03
What kind of varment are you!?
*Gets up on bar and kicks JKLantern in the face*
spike1138
04/15/2009, 13:46
Ah'm a throwin' JKLantern out the window! Take that, yew rotten yaller-bellied varmint!
JKLantern
04/15/2009, 14:12
Ah'm a throwin' JKLantern out the window! Take that, yew rotten yaller-bellied varmint!
This could, theoretically, explain my lingering paranoia about my sister...
Jackofhearts2005
04/15/2009, 14:34
Come here, you purty thing.
See? Miss Kitty loves me.
Now I'll use her to hit Ignatz Mouse.
JKLantern
04/15/2009, 14:40
Come here, you purty thing.
See? Miss Kitty loves me.
Now I'll use her to hit Ignatz Mouse.
She sure gets around...
St-Dumas
04/15/2009, 16:10
Slide Ignatz down the bar.
Varmit!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/15/2009, 16:16
She sure gets around...
Jes' lahk yer mammy!
St. Dumas: 12 HP/56 FP
Spike1158: 26 HP/58 FP
JackAssterson: 82 HP/66 FP
JKLantern: 72 HP / 32 FP (loses turn) (M.K. attack fails)
Space Jawa: 86 HP/50 FP
JOH2005: 9 HP / 25 FP (lose turn) (M.K. attack fails)
Ignatz Mouse: 90 HP/64 FP (loses turn)
I've a feeling that several of you are going to be taking a nap soon!!!
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Pick up table and slam it into someone. Costs 30 FP and does 25 HP damage. But there is a 50% chance of simply straining your back for 5 HP damage when you try to pick the table up.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/16/2009, 11:36
Dagnabbit!!
JKLantern
04/16/2009, 14:34
Ah don't feel loved, Miss Kitty!
spike1138
04/16/2009, 14:53
Special table slam fer "Eight Aces" Assterson, comin' raight up! Ah'm a git yew, yew possum stew-eatin' son uv an armadilla!
St-Dumas
04/16/2009, 18:55
Hit JKLantern with a table, ya varmit!
JKLantern
04/16/2009, 19:14
Hit JKLantern with a table, ya varmit!
Yet another thing that I'm reasonably sure has happened to me in real life...
I'm gonna wait a while before posted results for this round--to give Space Jawa and JackA a chance to post their attacks.
JackAssterson
04/17/2009, 11:38
Ah'm gonna hit Ignatz wiv a bottle.
Space Jawa
04/17/2009, 12:11
I'ma Resting!
spike1138
04/17/2009, 12:32
Barkeep! Another round of drinks fer me and the boys while we wait fer Kalel21!
JKLantern
04/17/2009, 13:13
Barkeep! Another round of drinks fer me and the boys while we wait fer Kalel21!
And another round of the Colonel for everyone!
St. Dumas: 7 HP/26 FP (table attack fails)
Spike1158: 26 HP/28 FP (table attack hits)
JackAssterson: 57 HP/64 FP
JKLantern: 72 HP / 32 FP
Space Jawa: 86 HP/70 FP
JOH2005: 9 HP / 25 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 88 HP/64 FP
No one knocked out yet!!!!
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Slam a spittoon over someone's head. 25 FP to make the attack and it does 20 HP of damage. But there is a 50% chance of the spittoon slipping out of your hands and bonking your own head for 5 HP damage.
JKLantern
04/17/2009, 13:17
Ah'ma gonna jump up on the table and try to hit Eight Aces Assterson wif my boot...and miss and hit Spike instead!
anonym0use
04/17/2009, 13:23
*plays Camptown races on the piano*
JackAssterson
04/17/2009, 14:46
Ah'm a gonna slam a spittoon on Spike's head (after missing JK) that cuss is lower than a snake's belly button in a wagon rut!
Prof. Aragorn
04/17/2009, 14:53
Can Sheriff Aragorn stride on in and have a drink at the bar? Or is it too late?
Can Sheriff Aragorn stride on in and have a drink at the bar? Or is it too late?
You can arrest the last man standing and fine him $2 for Disturbing the Peace.
Prof. Aragorn
04/17/2009, 15:23
2 whole dollars? Hope they struck gold.
Oh, and I'm gonna break a bottle over Anonymouse's head.
"I hate Camptown races"
Jackofhearts2005
04/17/2009, 15:33
I'll take a spitoon to Space Jawa.
Boy this fight is getting me all tuckered out.
spike1138
04/17/2009, 16:13
Ahm'a take this here spitoon and cuff Ignatz Mouse upside the head with it! Varmint!
(Spits in spitoon for good measure)
Space Jawa
04/17/2009, 16:27
I'll take a spitoon to Space Jawa.
Boy this fight is getting me all tuckered out.
Not as tuckered out as you'll be after I get on a table and use it to launch myself into a roundhouse kick against your face!
JKLantern
04/17/2009, 17:04
Not as tuckered out as you'll be after I get on a table and use it to launch myself into a roundhouse kick against your face!
Nobody told me Walker, Texas Ranger was in on this Saloon Fight!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/17/2009, 17:06
Ah'm gonna hit Swace Jawa with a chay-er.
St-Dumas
04/17/2009, 18:13
Bottle-smack JKLantern.
Varmit!
Boy, the spittoons in this place are apparently slippery. Not one Spittoon attack landed.
The combination of bashing himself with a spittoon and a kick in the head from Space Jawa finishes off JOH2005
St. Dumas: 7 HP/24 FP
Spike1158: 21 HP/3 FP (spit. attack fails)
JackAssterson: 47 HP/39 FP (spit. attack fails)
JKLantern: 70 HP / 27 FP
Space Jawa: 81 HP/65 FP
JOH2005: 0 HP / 0 FP (spit. attack fails) KNOCKED OUT
Ignatz Mouse: 88 HP/59 FP
The six remaining brawlers may post their attacks at any time.
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Pick up Beer Barrell and throw it at opponent. Costs 35 FP and does 40 HP damage. But there is a 50% chance of dropping it on your own foot for 5 HP damage.
JackAssterson
04/18/2009, 18:19
Ah'm a gonna kick Dumas in the face.
'Cause I missed JK.
St-Dumas
04/18/2009, 18:33
Ah'm a gonna kick Dumas in the face.
'Cause I missed JK.
You varmit!
Throw Jackie A. out the window.
Jackofhearts2005
04/18/2009, 18:59
*falls over into Miss Daisy*
JKLantern
04/18/2009, 21:15
Ah'm gonna hit Dumas widda bottle.
Cause I missed Jack A.
(Kinda reminds me of the saloon fight from the Great Race, starring Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk.)
spike1138
04/18/2009, 21:19
Slidin' JKLantern down the bar! Card-cheatin' varmint
Ignatz_Mouse
04/18/2009, 22:23
Throw Space Jawa out the winder!
Space Jawa
04/19/2009, 01:47
Doing a Donkey Kong to try to throw a Special Attack Beer Barrel at Ignatz_Mouse first.
JKLantern
04/19/2009, 02:14
Doing a Donkey Kong to try to throw a Special Attack Beer Barrel at Ignatz_Mouse first.
I wish I could rep you for that. Along with Luigi, DK is one of my favorite Mario associated characters.
St. Dumas: 0 HP/14 FP KNOCKED OUT
Spike1158: 21 HP/3 FP (insufficient fight points to perform designated attack)
JackAssterson: 44 HP/34 FP (loses turn)
JKLantern: 70 HP / 25 FP
Space Jawa: 78 HP/30 FP (barrel attack hits) (loses turn)
Ignatz Mouse: 58 HP/49 FP
A combination of a kick in the head and a bottle over the same head finishes off St. Dumas.
SPECIAL ATTACK THIS TURN ONLY: Lure an opponnet near the stage so that a dancing girl performing there kicks him in the teeth. 20 FP to perform and does 15 HP damage. But there's a 50% chance the girl kicks you instead for 10 HP.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/19/2009, 14:12
Hit SPace Jawa with a chair!
JKLantern
04/19/2009, 15:16
Ah'mma gonna swing my chair at JackA and miss. And hit Ignatz!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/19/2009, 16:46
Yew dirty rat!
JKLantern
04/19/2009, 17:46
Yew dirty rat!
Hey, I misplaced my glasses, and I totally can't see a thing without 'em except pretty much everything.
St-Dumas
04/19/2009, 17:58
Y'all are no good varmits!
AVENGE ME!!
spike1138
04/19/2009, 18:52
Hit Space Jawa with a bottle! Varmint!
St-Dumas
04/19/2009, 19:28
Is it varmit or varmint?
Spike1158: 21 HP/1 FP
JackAssterson: 44 HP/34 FP
JKLantern: 70 HP / 20 FP
Space Jawa: 71 HP/30 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/44 FP
(Since no one used it, the same special attack applies this turn.)
SPECIAL ATTACK THIS TURN ONLY: Lure an opponnet near the stage so that a dancing girl performing there kicks him in the teeth. 20 FP to perform and does 15 HP damage. But there's a 50% chance the girl kicks you instead for 10 HP.
JKLantern
04/20/2009, 13:07
Ahma gonna jump up on the table, and kick at Eight Aces Assterson. And miss. Because I drank a lot of the Colonel before coming in. Instead, it's gonna hit Spike!
spike1138
04/20/2009, 20:21
Ah'm plum outta FP. I reckon ah should skip a turn then. Dadgumit.
JackAssterson
04/21/2009, 12:22
Ah'm a gonna throw Space Jawa through a window.
After misssing JK.
Somehow.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/21/2009, 12:31
I'm gonna hit Space Jawa with a chair.
I won't be on-line for most of today, so I'll wait for tomorrow to post results (and give Space Jawa a chance to chime in).
Ignatz_Mouse
04/21/2009, 15:37
He already posted:
Do the special attack on JKLantern
No, not really. But I hope so.
Space Jawa
04/21/2009, 16:10
I'm going to rest.
Spike1158: 16 HP/21 FP
JackAssterson: 44 HP/24 FP
JKLantern: 70 HP / 15 FP
Space Jawa: 63 HP/50 FP (loses turn)
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/39 FP
(Since STILL no one used it, the same special attack applies this turn.)
SPECIAL ATTACK THIS TURN ONLY: Lure an opponnet near the stage so that a dancing girl performing there kicks him in the teeth. 20 FP to perform and does 15 HP damage. But there's a 50% chance the girl kicks you instead for 10 HP.
JKLantern
04/22/2009, 12:24
Ahmma gonna aim a chair at Eight Aces Assterson...
And whack Space Jawa!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/22/2009, 12:32
Oh, what the heck! SPECIAL ATTACK on Space Jawa!
spike1138
04/22/2009, 14:20
Slidin' Ignatz_Mouse down the bar! Vermin!
I'll wait a bit before posting results in case JackA wants to chime in this turn.
JackAssterson
04/23/2009, 11:46
Ah'm gonna whack Spike wiv a bottle!
Spike1158: 14 HP/16 FP
JackAssterson: 44 HP/22 FP
JKLantern: 70 HP / 10 FP
Space Jawa: 43 HP/50 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/19 FP (loses turn) (SPECIAL ATTACK HITS)
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Knock someone through the railing and off the second floor balcony to smash through a table on the first floor. 20 FP to make the attack and it does 25 HP damage. But there's a 50% chance you'll miss and barely catch the railing to avoid falling off yourself--thus wrenching your shoulder for 5 HP damage.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/23/2009, 12:26
Wha? Where? Dagnabbit, how did I end up down here?
spike1138
04/23/2009, 13:37
Ahm feelin' woozy... but still ornery enough to slide Space Jawa down the bar!
JKLantern
04/23/2009, 15:59
Ahhma gonna do another table dance and try to hit Eight Aces!
And hit Spike instead!
Space Jawa
04/23/2009, 16:12
Ima usin' the special attack on JKLantern!
SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT:
ALL HP DAMAGE IS NOW DOUBLED!!!! FP cost for all attacks remain the same, but HP done by all regular attacks is doubled for the remainder of the game!!!!
(I'm doing this because I'm going to be on vacation starting in a couple of weeks, so I need to make sure we finish up before then.)
I'll post results about Noon eastern time to give Jack a chance to post a turn. Other players may post again to change their attack before then.
JackAssterson
04/24/2009, 12:38
Bottle on Spike!
Spike1158: 0 HP/11 FP KNOCKED OUT
JackAssterson: 44 HP/20 FP
JKLantern: 70 HP / 5 FP
Space Jawa: 38 HP/30 FP (loses turn) (special attack misses)
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/19 FP
Another one bits the dust.
No special attack this turn, but remember that all HP damage from attacks are doubled.
JackAssterson
04/24/2009, 13:45
Chair on Jawa, after missing JK, who only has 5 FP left, so he should be easy pickings soon!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/24/2009, 17:25
Resting!!!!
JackAssterson
04/24/2009, 17:50
You know, I completely forgot you could rest.
"Eight Aces" Assterson never sleeps!!!
JKLantern
04/24/2009, 18:16
"Eight Aces" Assterson never sleeps!!!
Neither does "Jack the Knife" Lantern, who is also going to attempt to swing a chair at Eight Aces, miss, and hit Space Jawa.
JackAssterson: 44 HP/15 FP
JKLantern: 70 HP / 0 FP
Space Jawa: 18 HP/30 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/39 FP
Special Attack for this turn only: Vault over the bar to land a double kick on someone. 15 FP to do this and it does 20 HP damage if it hits. But there is a 50% chance that your hands will slip in some spilled beer when you vault and you'll miss, then fall to the floor for 5 HP damage.
All regular attack damage still doubled.
JKLantern
04/25/2009, 20:46
Jack the Knife Lantern is going to throw up on Space Jawa and pass out in the corner!
JKLantern
04/25/2009, 20:46
(After missing throwing up on Eight Aces, of course.)
JackAssterson
04/26/2009, 15:15
Ah'm gonna rest.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/26/2009, 15:51
Ah'm gonna hit JKLantern with a chayer!
Space Jawa
04/26/2009, 17:12
After which I'll throw JKLantern out the window!
JKLantern
04/26/2009, 23:05
After which I'll throw JKLantern out the window!
At least I'm not covered in vomit!
JackAssterson: 44 HP/35 FP
JKLantern: 64 HP / 20 FP (loses turn)
Space Jawa: 18 HP/20 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/59 FP
Special Attack for this turn only: Vault over the bar to land a double kick on someone. 15 FP to do this and it does 20 HP damage if it hits. But there is a 50% chance that your hands will slip in some spilled beer when you vault and you'll miss, then fall to the floor for 5 HP damage.
All regular attack damage still doubled.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/27/2009, 10:54
Special attack on JKLantern!
JKLantern
04/27/2009, 11:51
Special attack on JKLantern!
A fart on Ignatz Mouse! Aimed originally at Eight Aces Assterson, of course. Because schtick is schtick.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/27/2009, 11:57
Yew smell so awful, I cain't tell the diff'rence.
JackAssterson
04/27/2009, 14:35
Special attack on Space Jawa!
After missing JK!
Because shtick is shtick, and this shtick done shtuck.
Space Jawa
04/27/2009, 15:42
I'll take a gamble and rest!
After taking a couple spittoons and pouring the contents over JKLantern's head!
JackAssterson: 44 HP/20 FP (special attack hits)
JKLantern: 44 HP / 20 FP
Space Jawa: 0 HP/40 FP KNOCKED OUT
Ignatz Mouse: 53 HP/44 FP (special attack hits)
The herd is gettin' purty thin!!!!
SPECIAL ATTACK FOR THIS TURN ONLY: Eat some spinach, watch muscles pump up into the shape of hammer and anvils, then throw a wicked uppercut!!! 20 FP to do this--it does 25 HP if it hits. But there's a 50% chance that you'll turn out to be allergic to spinach and take 5 HP of damage while you choke on it.
JKLantern
04/27/2009, 16:14
I'mma gonna try to grab Eight Aces and throw 'im out the window...but instead grab Ignatz Mouse and do it!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/27/2009, 17:11
Ah'll hit JKLantrin wit' a chay-er agin!
JackAssterson
04/27/2009, 20:30
Ah'm gonna hit Ignatz wiv a bottle!
After missing JK!
JackAssterson: 44 HP/18 FP
JKLantern: 34 HP / 10 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 43 HP/39 FP (loses turn)
No Special Attack this turn--no one capable of attacking can afford to do one.
JKLantern
04/28/2009, 12:29
Swing my chair, round and round, try to knock Assterson to the ground, miss and clobber Ignatz Mouse, reach into my hair and grab that louse! Do si do!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/28/2009, 12:49
And I'll hit JKLantern *back* with a chair!
JKLantern
04/28/2009, 12:51
And I'll hit JKLantern *back* with a chair!
Can't. You've been windowed. :devious:
Ignatz_Mouse
04/28/2009, 12:54
Well then, I describe how I'm *going* to.
JKLantern
04/28/2009, 12:57
Well then, I describe how I'm *going* to.
Rolling fortitude save against pissing self. Roll fails. :noid:
JackAssterson: 44 HP/18 FP
JKLantern: 34 HP / 5 FP
Ignatz Mouse: 33 HP/39 FP
Guys, I'm heading off to Sudan in less than two weeks and will be very busy at work, so I'm afraid the sheriff is getting ready to arrive and bust up the fight.
But before that, you can all have one last chance to throw a knock-out punch. This costs 0 FP and knocks your opponent out if it hits. But there is a 50% chance of missing, stumbling, slamming into a wall and knocking yourself out.
Pick your target.
JackAssterson
04/29/2009, 10:50
Swing at JK!
Then miss and hit Ignatz!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/29/2009, 10:50
I'll knock out Jack!
JackAssterson
04/29/2009, 10:51
I'll knock out Jack!
What'd I ever do to you!
Wait...don't answer that.
JKLantern
04/29/2009, 11:15
Swing at Eight Aces, Miss, Hit Ignatz!
Ignatz_Mouse
04/29/2009, 11:18
Yowza! Two on one!
Jack hits Ignatz, knocking him out.
Ignatz, before he falls, missed Jack and slams into a wall--thus, he's doubly knocked out.
JKLantern smacks Ignatz as he falls for a triple knock-out.
Jack and JK are the only two fighters standing when Marshal Dillon bursts in and hauls everyone off to the jail to sleep it off.
Miss Kitty sighs and begins sweeping up, getting ready for the next night's business...
Congratulations to the winners.
Ignatz_Mouse
04/29/2009, 11:42
Dangnabbit! Flip the xor bit on yore randim nummer generatore!
JKLantern
04/29/2009, 12:16
If the game continued and Jack and I were the only ones left, I was going to try to subvert it for comedy purposes. Since our characters started fighting at the Poker Table, I thought it would be funny, after hitting each other once, we knocked everybody else out, and then went back to playing poker, or getting drinks, or something.
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