View Full Version : Anybody interested in a B-17 thread under these conditions?
GroovyBoy
10/12/2009, 13:04
In other words, there’s a good chance you’ll all be dead by this time next week.
After playing this game a ton on my own, I can't believe the plane is still in the air!
I've been playing with the lofty goal of pulling a Memphis Belle (just getting a plane through 25 missions), and I haven't come close. My planes have bought the farm on the 9th, 12th, 6th, and 6th missions, with flak hits usually being the nail in the coffin (once they blew up the bombs in the bomb bay before we could drop them). I've left a trail of 21 POWs across occupied France.
Oddly enough, the one mission I went all the way to Kiel in Zone 8 to bomb U-Boats, I got there and back with nary a scratch. But God help me if I travel to nearby Abbeville, where two crew members die instantly, another three get wounded, and at least one gun gets knocked out (oh, and I miss the target on a perfectly fine day)...
After playing this game a ton on my own, I can't believe the plane is still in the air!
I've been playing with the lofty goal of pulling a Memphis Belle (just getting a plane through 25 missions), and I haven't come close. My planes have bought the farm on the 9th, 12th, 6th, and 6th missions, with flak hits usually being the nail in the coffin (once they blew up the bombs in the bomb bay before we could drop them). I've left a trail of 21 POWs across occupied France.
Oddly enough, the one mission I went all the way to Kiel in Zone 8 to bomb U-Boats, I got there and back with nary a scratch. But God help me if I travel to nearby Abbeville, where two crew members die instantly, another three get wounded, and at least one gun gets knocked out (oh, and I miss the target on a perfectly fine day)...
You'll find those results to be sadly typical in this game. Getting a single plane--or even a single crewman--through 25 missions intact is nigh impossible. You might want to cave in and just play through 25 missions, regardless of how many planes that takes, and call it a win if you have >50% successful missions.
We fly out this weekend to bomb the U-boat pens at Brest. Well--you guys are flying out. I'm back home bragging to the girls about how I got wounded saving the plane from certain doom. You guys, on the other hand, ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!
MISSON 11
Today, we head out on the dangerous mission of bombing the U-boat pens at Brest. We’ll be leaving our fighter escorts behind for much of this mission as we fly beyond their range.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Three FW 190s attack. The Spitfires chase away one. Of the remaining two, one of them scores some superficial hits on our nose, then comes around for another pass. It misses us this time and flies off.
Zone 4: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5: We leave the Spitfires behind at this point, but we’re incredibly lucky so far—still no enemy planes in sight.
Zone 6: Over the target and the weather is clear. A single ME 109 attacks us, but JKLantern rips him out of the sky with a burst from the Top Turret. JK now has four kills—one more and he’ll be an Ace.
We drop down for the bomb run. As expected, the flak is intense. Shrapnel hits several sections of the plane, but most of the damage is superficial. Charlesx in the Ball Turret is lightly wounded. The Rudder is damaged, but still operative. The worst damage is loss of the autopilot mechanism. Without this, lining the plane up for the bomb run is very difficult.
And, sadly, our bombs are off-target, splashing into the sea and accidentally sinking an American PT boat that was on patrol in the area.
We turn for home.
Zone 6: 2 ME 109s swoop in towards us. GroovyBoy tries to drive one off with an extended burst from the Port Waist gun, but the weapon jams. Despite his painful, um, upper thigh wound, Charlesx manages to damage the 109 and force it to limp home.
The other 109 avoids our defensive fire and scores some hits. Thawmus, at the Starboard Waist gun, is killed instantly. AlienFlanders’ heating unit is knocked out.
The 109 comes around for another pass and scores some superficial hits. As he whizzes past us, DocDoom187 damages him with a burst from the Tail guns, forcing him to retreat.
Zone 5: GroovyBoy tries to clear the jam in his gun, but the weapon breaks permanently. AlienFlanders moves back to the Starboard Waist position and plugs into the heating unit there. Thawmus, after all, no longer needs it.
No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 4: We’re back inside our fighter escort umbrella, but still no enemy planes appear.
Zone 3: No enemy planes.
Zone 2: No enemy planes. The Ratzis seem to be pretty lazy today.
Zone 1: Back home and the weather is terrible!!! But expert pilot BudPalmer brings us in safely.
Charlesx has his, um, upper thigh wound patched up and he returns to duty.
DarkCorsair is promoted from the reserves and takes over as Starboard Waist gunner.
Well, that wasn’t as bad as it could have been. (Though, come to think of it, it couldn’t have been much worse for Thawmus.) It’s getting a little embarrassing, though—we’ve only actually hit the target 4 times out of 11 missions.
But we’ll find out if our luck holds and our aim improves next time—we’re going out just as deep into occupied France to hit yet another heavily defended U-boat base: This time at St. Nazaire.
Pilot: BudPalmer (expert pilot)
Co-Pilot: Space Jawa
Bombardier: Grinner
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: JKLantern (4 kills)
Radio Operator:Shadow40
Ball Turret Gunner: Charlesx (1 kill)
Port Waist Gunner:GroovyBoy (1 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: DarkCorsair
Tail Gunner: DocDoom187 (1 kill)
RESERVES: CarBludgeon, J.C. Assterson, Sumwath, P-DiddyHub, Milton Mouse, hail sire, Gentlegamer
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 4
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 11
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21
we’ve only actually hit the target 4 times out of 11 missions.
We've only hit the official target 4 times.
I'm quite happy with the bonus pay from the OSS. For example, that was actually a Nazi boat painted like a US boat - I saved our brothers in the Navy. ;)
AlienFlanders
10/19/2009, 00:43
It's part of our mission, if we bomb where the Germans aren't, they're shocked when we actually do hit a target, witness our +90% hit earlier.
On a side note, I have recently been reading Messerschmitts over Sicily by Johannes Steinhoff, he was amazed that with all the carpet bombing by the US forces most of the airfields were easy to reinstate to flying condition within hours.
BudPalmer
10/19/2009, 09:49
Someone give Groovy a Rubix Cube or something so he'll stop playing with his "waist gun"!
:rolleyes:
BigDaddyHub
10/19/2009, 10:08
On a side note, I have recently been reading Messerschmitts over Sicily by Johannes Steinhoff, he was amazed that with all the carpet bombing by the US forces most of the airfields were easy to reinstate to flying condition within hours.
Yeah, it's not hard to pile the dirt back IN the hole.
Anyone else find it funny that the Nazis were all, "Myah, let's get them!" at first, and then once they killed me, they were all, "Meh, we killed Thawmus, let's go home. I'm hungry."
Yeah, me neither. :angry:
BudPalmer
10/19/2009, 11:47
Anyone else find it funny that the Nazis were all, "Myah, let's get them!" at first, and then once they killed me, they were all, "Meh, we killed Thawmus, let's go home. I'm hungry."
Yeah, me neither. :angry:
Now your Halloween costume sould be a dead airman! ;)
On a side note, I have recently been reading Messerschmitts over Sicily by Johannes Steinhoff, he was amazed that with all the carpet bombing by the US forces most of the airfields were easy to reinstate to flying condition within hours.
You just cost me 10 bucks. I looked that book up in our local public library, but they didn't have it. I checked Amazon and they did have it, but another book that came up was The Savage Sky about B-17 missions. I bought The Savage Sky for my Kindle (hence the 10 bucks) and I'll do a interlibrary loan to get Messerschmitts over Sicily.
GroovyBoy
10/19/2009, 17:06
Sometimes a man just has to be alone with his "waist gun"...
madslaust
10/19/2009, 17:23
Can I be added to the reserves?
AlienFlanders
10/19/2009, 17:49
You just cost me 10 bucks. I looked that book up in our local public library, but they didn't have it. I checked Amazon and they did have it, but another book that came up was The Savage Sky about B-17 missions. I bought The Savage Sky for my Kindle (hence the 10 bucks) and I'll do a interlibrary loan to get Messerschmitts over Sicily.
I'm probably going to be dead in a couple of missions, you can take it out of my footlocker...:laugh:
Just don't disturb the Brandy bottles, they are for my replacement who will be flying in shortly.
madslaust
10/19/2009, 18:41
I'm probably going to be dead in a couple of missions, you can take it out of my footlocker...:laugh:
Just don't disturb the Brandy bottles, they are for my replacement who will be flying in shortly.
In a couple? Pfft, we never last that long.
AbeSapien
10/19/2009, 22:06
On the off chance the plane lives long enough, could I get on the reserve list?
From: The Savage Sky: Life adn Death on a Bomber over Germany in 1944, by George Webster:
"Imagine being blasted by a 170-mile-per-hour gale at 53 degrees below zero. You are 30,000 feet above the earth--higher than Mount Everest--in an open airplane. An electrically heated suit and an oxygen mask keep you alive, but the ice formed by your breath clogs your oxygen maske and makes you gasp for air. Exposed skin freezes instantly. Altitude sickness threatens to suffocate you. Exertion at this altitude doubles you over with agonizing cramps. And someone is trying to kill you.
These were the perils faced by crews on B-17F bombers flying over Germany in World War II. The B-17F had open ports in its fuselage that allowed a below-zero gale to howl through much of the plane. Crew members froze to death or lost fingers, toes, feet and hands to freezing. Others died from lack of oxygen or from altitude sickness. Still others went insane from fear and the knowledge that they had little chance of survival. All of this occured before hordes of German fighter planes and barrages of antiaircraft shells killed or mutilated bomber crews by the hundreds."
This weekend, the B-17 heads out for another mission deep into occupied France to hit a heavily defended target--the U-boat pens at St. Nazaire.
BudPalmer
10/23/2009, 12:11
It's almost drunk o'clock everyone. Get your glasses!
madslaust
10/23/2009, 23:01
This weekend, the B-17 heads out for another mission deep into occupied France to hit a heavily defended target--the U-boat pens at St. Nazaire.
Yes, my chance for rapid promotion begins after this mission!
I am allowed in the reserves, right? Even though I'm mad to join willingly...
I am allowed in the reserves, right? Even though I'm mad to join willingly...
Yes, you are in the reserves. Be patient. Someone's bound to die soon and open a slot on the plane.
:o
madslaust
10/24/2009, 18:47
Yes, you are in the reserves. Be patient. Someone's bound to die soon and open a slot on the plane.
:o
People die in war?
:o
MISSON 12
We’re after another U-boat pen—this time at St. Nazaire. We’re assigned to the lowest squadron today, making attacks by German fighters that much more likely.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: 2 FW 190s attack and no fighter escorts seem to be nearby. Our defensive fire misses and one of the 190s scores some hits. charlesx in the Ball Turret is badly wounded and put out of action. The control cables running from the pilot’s compartment to the rudder are damaged, but still operational. The Port Tailplane Root is hit—enough hits there and part of our tail will rip away.
The 190 comes around for another pass, but Grinner uses the Nose Gun to blast him from the sky.
Zone 4: 2 FW 190s join an ME 109 and an ME 110 in an attack on us. Some friendly escorts finally happen by and chase away two of these planes. AlienFlanders damages another with the Port Cheek Gun. We take no hits.
Zone 5: We’re beyond our fighter escort umbrella now, but no enemy fighters appear.
Zone 6: Over the target and the weather is clear. Two waves of enemy fighters swoop towards us.
The first wave consists of three ME 109s. We miss them and they miss us.
The second wave has four FW 190s. Groovyboy on the Port Waist Gun damages one of them, but another manages to rake us from stem to stern. Groovyboy is lightly wounded, as is Shadow40 in the Radio Room. The Rudder is damaged, but still operational.
The 190 comes in for another pass at us, but DocDoom187 on the Tail Guns damages him and sends him limping home.
We drop down for the bomb run. The flak is the heaviest we’ve seen so far and shrapnel rips into our #3 Fuel Tank. Fortunately, there’s no fire and the self-seal works. No serious harm is done.
Grinner plants 20% of the bombs on target, damaging docking facilities and blowing up a torpedo storage shed.
We turn for home.
Zone 6: Three waves of angry enemy fighters bite at us.
But our fellow B-17s do incredible work, driving off the first two waves of fighters before they reach us.
The last wave, consisting of 2 ME 109s and a ME 110, does get through. JKLantern in the Top Turret damages one. DarkCorsair on the Starboard Waist Gun tries to drive away another with an extended burst, but his gun jams.
One of the 109s scores some superficial damage on us and comes around for another pass. JKLantern damages him, but he scores another superficial hit before limping away.
Zone 5: DarkCorsair clears the jam on his gun, bringing it back into action. No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 4: We’re back inside our fighter escort umbrella, but there’s not a single Spitfire near us. Two ME 110s attack. Groovyboy’s Port Waist Gun jams as he blasts away at one. The other comes at us from behind. DocDoom187 misses the easiest shot a gunner can have and the 110 riddles the Tail Section repeatedly.
The Port Tailplane root takes another hit. That part of the tail is now hanging on with spit and chewing gum. The Starboard Tailplane root takes a hit as well.
The Tail Guns are knocked out of action and DocDoom187 is lightly wounded. His oxygen supply is damaged, but still works.
The 110 comes around for another pass, but misses.
A second wave of planes attack, this time consisting of two FW 190s. Both evade our defensive fire and one of them scores several hits.
The Port Cheek gun and Port Waist Gun are both knocked out of action.
Another hit to the tail kills DocDoom 187.
The 190 comes around for another pass, but is damaged by JKLantern in the Top Turret.
Zone 3: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 2: No enemy fighters.
Zone 1: Back home and the weather is good. We land safely. charlesx is rushed to the hospital and he’ll live, but it’s a million dollar wound that gets him sent home. Groovyboy and Shadow40 are patched up and returned to duty.
Two men are randomly chosen from the reserves as replacements. AbeSabien gets the Ball Turret gig while Gentlegamer takes over as Tail Gunner.
Next week—yet ANOTHER U-boat pen located just as far into Occupied France as the last two--this time at Lorient.
Pilot: BudPalmer (expert pilot)
Co-Pilot: Space Jawa
Bombardier: Grinner (1 kill)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: JKLantern (4 kills)
Radio Operator:Shadow40
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabian
Port Waist Gunner:GroovyBoy (1 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: DarkCorsair
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer
RESERVES: CarBludgeon, J.C. Assterson, Sumwath, P-DiddyHub, Milton Mouse, hail sire, Sumwath. madslaust
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 5
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 12
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx
Ignatz_Mouse
10/26/2009, 00:02
Gosh, that was riveting reading. I had to keep from skipping ahead, and I am shocked the plane landed safely with most of the crew intact.
BudPalmer
10/26/2009, 08:37
At least the mission wasn't a total waste. :grin:
Gentlegamer
10/26/2009, 08:53
Two men are randomly chosen from the reserves as replacements. AbeSabien gets the Ball Turret gig while Gentlegamer takes over as Tail Gunner.Alright boys! Your worries are over! You got an Ace coming with you next mission!
EmperorNorton
10/26/2009, 11:27
Alright boys! Your worries are over! You got an Ace coming with you next mission!
AceSapien.
Gentlegamer
10/26/2009, 12:24
AceSapien.Yours truly is also an ACE, all from a single mission: http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3530568&postcount=24
And all from the tailgunner position!
GroovyBoy
10/26/2009, 13:49
Maybe if someone would stop rolling a 1 for me when I fired long bursts.
Can I pretend my wound was worse than it was and get shipped home?
BudPalmer
10/26/2009, 13:51
Maybe if someone would stop rolling a 1 for me when I fired long bursts.
Can I pretend my wound was worse than it was and get shipped home?
Why don't you put as much time in figuring out your gun as you do trying to get out of this war, ya yellow so and so?
madslaust
10/26/2009, 13:59
Not bad. Only one killed and one sent home. Riveting write-up, by the way.
madslaust
10/26/2009, 14:05
Yours truly is also an ACE, all from a single mission: http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showpost.php?p=3530568&postcount=24
And all from the tailgunner position!
:eek:
Holy poop!
AbeSapien
10/26/2009, 14:17
Ball turret indeed!
Let's saddle up.
Ignatz_Mouse
10/26/2009, 14:43
Not bad. Only one killed and one sent home. Riveting write-up, by the way.
Complete mafia tell.
Lynch madslaust
madslaust
10/26/2009, 16:49
Complete mafia tell.
Lynch madslaust
But I'm a townie roleblocker!
:laugh:
We've off to bomb the U-boat pens at Lorient today. Each of our previous two attacks on U-boat facilities have left us with at least one dead crewman. Will this trend continue?
Gentlegamer
10/30/2009, 08:36
In honor of my return from retirement, permit me to share our fight song!
Iron Maiden - Aces High (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsJeK88nYSE&feature=related)
MISSON 13
Our third successive mission to bomb a heavily defended U-boat pen takes us Lorient. Fortunately, we’re assigned to the middle squadron, keeping us slightly safer from German fighters.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Still no enemy fighters
Zone 4: Three ME 109s attack and none of our escorts are in sight. They evade our defensive fire and one of them scores a hit. The control cables leading from the Pilot Compartment to the rudder are damaged, but remain operable.
The 109 comes around for another pass at us, but misses.
Zone 5: We’re beyond our fighter escort umbrella now, but other bombers in our formation drive away attacking bombers.
Zone 6: Over the target and—gosh darn it—the weather is bad!!! We’ve had the worst luck with weather since starting this campaign.
A single ME 110 comes up at us in a vertical climb, but AbeSabian in the Ball Turret damages it and sends it limping home.
We drop down for the bomb run. The flak is very heavy, but we’re lucky in that we take no hits. But the bad weather is enough to foil Grinner’s aim. The bombs miss the target and blow up Henri’s Toy and Candy Shop—which had been in business and run by the same family since 1352. Oh, well, he’s out of business now.
We turn for home.
Zone 6: Five FW 190s attack us from 5 different directions. Grinner on the Nose gun damages one of them, but three of the remaining planes score hits. Grinner is lightly wounded and radioman Shadow40 is seriously wounded. The bomb bay doors are jammed shut, but that is meaningless since the bombs have been dropped. Fortunately, the remaining hits we take are all superficial.
The three 190s come around again. Gentlegamer on the Tail guns blows one out of the sky. The other two miss us and fly off.
Zone 5: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 4: Other bombers in our formation drive off the attacking enemy fighters.
Zone 3: Four ME 109s attack. Escorting Spitfires drives away two of them. The remaining two evade our defensive fire, but miss us in turn.
Zone 2: No enemy fighters.
Zone 1: Back home and the weather HERE is lousy also. But the plane comes in for a safe landing regardless.
Grinner is patched up and returned to duty. Shadow40 is rushed to the hospital and saved, but he gets shipped home to recover. hail sire is randomly chosen from the Reserves to take over in the Radio Room.
Next week—a short mission that won’t take us beyond our fighter escorts—we’ll try again to hit the shipyard at Rotterdam.
Pilot: BudPalmer (expert pilot)
Co-Pilot: Space Jawa
Bombardier: Grinner (1 kill)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: JKLantern (4 kills)
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabian
Port Waist Gunner:GroovyBoy (1 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: DarkCorsair
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (1 kill)
RESERVES: CarBludgeon, J.C. Assterson, Sumwath, P-DiddyHub, Milton Mouse, Sumwath. madslaust
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 5
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 13
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40
CurBludgeon
11/01/2009, 20:06
The bombs miss the target and blow up Henri’s Toy and Candy Shop—which had been in business and run by the same family since 1352. Oh, well, he’s out of business now.
Eh, I'd been to that toy shop. They were always buying the chase figures from area stores and then jacking up the prices. I say Grinner did a good job.
Space Jawa
11/02/2009, 03:39
Zone 4: Other bombers in our formation drive off the attacking enemy fighters.
For some reason, I feel like I want to find out who were crewing those planes and send them a fruit basket as a thank-you or something. :ermm:
AlienFlanders
11/02/2009, 05:05
I remember when it was our evil twins piloting those ratzi fighters.
Gentlegamer
11/02/2009, 08:42
If I get to 5 kills again can I be a Double Ace? :)
It's harder for me to read these when nobody dies, or I'm not on the plane.
Quick, someone die! :devious:
BudPalmer
11/02/2009, 10:41
Any one have Hitler's address? I want to send him a thank-you card for putting me in the pilot's seat!
I'm sorry but I just doomed us all. :( I can't help myself!:cry:
This weekend, we're off to bomb the shipyard at Rotterdam. It's a fairly short mission, so nothing could possibly go wrong. :cheeky:
Space Jawa
11/06/2009, 12:41
This weekend, we're off to bomb the shipyard at Rotterdam. It's a fairly short mission, so nothing could possibly go wrong. :cheeky:
Oh, yeah, right, try to jinx it for us why don't ya?
Just because you got sent home alive is no reason to not care about our chances of survival. :cheeky:
madslaust
11/06/2009, 15:35
I'll be holding down my liq-- I mean, holding down my spot in the reserves without failure!
madslaust
11/06/2009, 15:36
Oh, yeah, right, try to jinx it for us why don't ya?
Just because you got sent home alive is no reason to not care about our chances of survival. :cheeky:
He does care. He's just being realistic.
Sorry, guys. I had a hectic weekend and didn't get the mission flown. It's a short one, so I should be able to get it in this week and get us back on schedule for next weekend.
BudPalmer
11/09/2009, 12:03
Drinks are on me until we go up!
Gentlegamer
11/09/2009, 12:05
Drinks are on me until we go up!I just realized what your avatar is. :confused: :classic:
BudPalmer
11/09/2009, 12:06
That's OK, late bloomer, we all get it eventually!
I just realized what your avatar is. :confused: :classic:
At first, my response to this was going to be: "It's Garfield...duh..."
Then....then....upon closer inspection...can't take my eyes off of it...I keep looking deep into his eyes....
madslaust
11/09/2009, 17:04
At first, my response to this was going to be: "It's Garfield...duh..."
Then....then....upon closer inspection...can't take my eyes off of it...I keep looking deep into his eyes....
Me too! I'm glad I'm not the only attentive person here!
:grin:
MISSON 14
We’re off to bomb the ship yard at Rotterdam.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: We’re jumped by two FW 190s. The Starboard Waist gun jams when DarkCorsair fires an extended burst in a failed attempt to drive one off. The 190s weave through the rest of our defensive fire, but miss themselves. As one of the enemy planes zips past us, Gentlegamer on the Tail Guns manages to damage one of them.
Zone 4: Over the target and the weather is good. The Starboard Waist gun remains jammed. Two waves of enemy fighters come up at us, though, and there aren’t many escorting Spitfires in sight.
The first wave consists of two ME 109s. Our defensive fire misses them and they miss us. Once again, Gentlegamer manages to damage one of the enemy fighters as it passes by us.
The second wave of fighters is driven off by other bombers in our formation.
We drop down for the bomb run. Anti-aircraft fire is intense and the plane is riddled with shrapnel. The control cables that lead from the Pilot’s compartment to the Rudder are damaged, as is the Rudder itself. The flap on the starboard wing is wrecked. Several hits to the Tail section knocks out the Tail Turret and damages Gentlegamer’s oxygen system (though it remains operational).
The jostling the plane takes ruins Grinner’s aim and the bombs miss the target, blowing up several passing dolphins in the nearby bay.
We turn for home.
Zone 4: The Starboard Waist gun breaks permanently. Two enemy planes (an FW 190 and an ME 110) attack, but our escorts finally put in an appearance and drive them off.
Zone 3: Once again, an FW 190 and an ME 110 attack, but our gunners really earn their pay today. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret sends the 110 crashing into the Channel, while JKLantern in the Top Turret turns the 190 into a fire ball. JK is now an ACE.
Zone 2: No enemy planes.
Zone 1: Back in England and we land safely. No one was hurt this time out.
BUT NEXT TIME—We’ll be making our first trip to Germany itself, bombing the aircraft factory at Bremen. This target is seven zones out—and it’s likely to be crawling with German planes every step of the way.
Pilot: BudPalmer (expert pilot)
Co-Pilot: Space Jawa
Bombardier: Grinner (1 kill)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: JKLantern (5 kills) (ACE)
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabian (1 kill)
Port Waist Gunner:GroovyBoy (1 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: DarkCorsair
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (1 kill)
RESERVES: CarBludgeon, J.C. Assterson, Sumwath, P-DiddyHub, Milton Mouse, Sumwath. madslaust
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 5
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 15
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40
AlienFlanders
11/09/2009, 23:04
Those dolphins were being trained to attach mines to allied ships.
AlienFlanders
11/09/2009, 23:50
Kalel, maybe you should beam some of those trekker recruits over to be reserves.
AbeSapien
11/10/2009, 15:56
I shall confound Jerry at every turn!
madslaust
11/10/2009, 16:49
Those dolphins were being trained to attach mines to allied ships.
I was about to note that. Good thing Grinner nipped that in the bud.
BudPalmer
11/10/2009, 17:06
He did what to me? :confused:
He did what to me? :confused:
Sorry, didn't mean to nip you, but your avatar distracted me :grin:
Those dolphins were being trained to attach mines to allied ships.
Are you reading my secret OSS orders?
Space Jawa
11/10/2009, 19:37
Those dolphins were being trained to attach mines to allied ships.
That has to be the only answer. Seriously, who ever heard of Dolphins in that part of the world? I know I never have.
madslaust
11/10/2009, 21:11
That has to be the only answer. Seriously, who ever heard of Dolphins in that part of the world? I know I never have.
If this site is to be believed, that is possible. (http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/bottlenose/habitat-&-distribution.htm)
BigDaddyHub
11/10/2009, 23:21
If this site is to be believed, that is possible. (http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/bottlenose/habitat-&-distribution.htm)
Nice Busch....
..... Gardens
AlienFlanders
11/11/2009, 00:32
Are you reading my secret OSS orders?
I thought you were with the Abwehr.
This weekend, we fly into GERMANY ITSELF to bomb the aircraft factory at Bremen. I'm anxious to see how this one will turn out, so I'll probably play through it tonight. So results (which will most likely be a lengthy list of dead and wounded) may be posted a little earlier than usual.
BigDaddyHub
11/13/2009, 12:13
P-diddyHub rubs hand in anticipation.
P-diddyHub rubs hand in anticipation.
....What is your other hand doing??
BudPalmer
11/13/2009, 12:15
I'll fly circles around that flack. Heck I don't even need a stabilizer to fly I'm so good!
Pilot: BudPalmer (expert pilot)
Nuff said!
:laugh:<jinx initiated>:o
hail_eris
11/13/2009, 12:30
:laugh:<jinx initiated>:o
I'll raise ya!
You know what the guys back home call me? Lucky hail_sire! That's right! A twister swept through my hometown of Cracker Jack, Arkansas, and lifted me clear up into the air. But I landed, safe and sound, in a big ol' bale of hay that was up the road a ways. Yep! Not a scratch on me. Say, want to see a picture of my sweetheart back home? Sally Mae is her name, and I'm gonna marry her someday. Even mailed my reserve chute back to the States so my ma could sew her a wedding dress with the silk. Figure I'm not gonna need it, 'cuz I've got my lucky rabbit foot to protect me. Paid a solid nickel for it at the state fair. Got me my first date with Sally Mae, and it's gonna get me home safe. Now what'd I do with it?
Gentlegamer
11/13/2009, 12:32
I thought hail_sire was British?
*kicks hail_sire out the bomb doors for luck and probably being a spy*
BudPalmer
11/13/2009, 12:35
That's some balls there!
MISSON 15
Our first visit to Germany for a bombing run on the aircraft factory at Bremen.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: 2 waves of enemy fighters attack.
The first wave consists of five ME 109s. Our escorts chase one away, while Gentlegamer on the Tail guns blows one out of the sky.
The remaining 3 109s all score hits. Incredibly, only superficial damage is done to the plane.
But the three enemy fighters come around for another pass. Again, all three get hits. AlienFlanders’ suit heater is knocked out.
The trio of annoying enemy planes comes around for one last pass at us. JKLantern shoots one down. The remaining two miss us.
The second wave of planes consist of one FW 190 and one ME 110. AbeSabian in the Ball Turret gets the 110. The 190, though, rakes us from stem to stern.
JKLantern is lightly wounded, as is hail sire in the Radio Room. Hits to the waist section leave GroovyBoy dead and DarkCorsair seriously wounded.
The 190 comes around for another pass, but misses us and flies away.
Zone 4: AlienFlanders moves back to the Port Waist Gunner’s position and plugs into the heating unit there. He can shift back and forth between the two waist guns, while Grinner can move between the guns in the Nose Compartment. But each of them can only fire one machine gun at a time, greatly reducing the amount of defensive fire we can put out.
In the meantime, a single ME 109 tries to attack us, but he’s chased away by a Spitfire.
Zone 5: We move outside the range of friendly fighters. Two waves of enemy fighters immediately attack us.
The first wave consists of four FW 190s. AlienFlanders drives one off with an extended burst from the Starboard Waist gun. JKLantern damages another. The enemy planes miss us and fly away.
The second wave consists of two ME 110s. AbeSapian in the Ball Turret damages one. Both enemy planes miss us.
Zone 6: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 7: Over the target and the weather is good. A single FW 190 avoids our defensive fire and scores a raking hit from our nose to our tail.
JKLantern receives another light wound. He’s now hurt badly enough to lose his status as an Ace.
The Ball Turret is knocked out of action.
The Autopilot is knocked out, which will make our bomb run less accurate.
But the most serious hit is to the Pilot Compartment. BudPalmer is seriously wounded, while Space Jawa is killed. There is now no trained pilot aboard.
JKLantern shoves Space Jawa’s riddled corpse aside and takes the co-pilot controls. As Flight Engineer, he’s the closest thing to a pilot we now have. AbeSapian leaves the now useless Ball Turret and takes over in the Top Turret.
We drop down for the bomb run. Flak is thick, but we take no hits. Despite the lack of an autopilot and JKLantern’s wobbly efforts to keep the plane steady, Grinner places 40% of the bombs on target, shattering assembly lines and blowing up the cafeteria snack machines.
We turn for home.
Zone 7: The Germans seem mad at us. Three waves of fighters attack.
The first wave is an ME 109 and an ME 110. AlienFlanders, on the Starboard Waist Gun, damages the 109, while Grinner moves back to the Starboard Cheek Gun to damage the 110.
The second wave consists of three ME 110s. Gentegamer damages one with the Tail Guns, but all three enemy planes score hits against us.
Grinner is lightly wounded.
The three 110s come around for another pass, avoiding our defensive fire. Once again, all three score hits. BudPalmer, already unconscious from his earlier wound, is put out of his misery by a cannon shell through his chest cavity.
The planes attack again. This time, Gentlegamer blows one out of the sky. The remaining 110s score some superficial hits, then fly for home.
The third wave is—once again—three ME 110s. Gentlegamer gets another one, while Grinner, using the Port Cheek Gun, gets a second. The last one misses us and flies off.
Zone 6: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5: Two ME 109s attack. AlienFlanders jumps to the Port Waist Gun to drive one away with an extended burst. The other 109 misses us and flies off.
Zone 4: Back within range of our fighter escorts. Two waves of enemy fighters attack us.
The first wave is two ME 109s. Our escorts drive off one and the other misses us.
The second wave is a single FW 190. hail sire damages the 190 with the Radio Room Gun and it limps away.
Zone 3: No enemy fighters
Zone 2: No enemy fighters.
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is clear. But there is a dilemma. JKLantern doesn’t have the training to land the plane intact without an incredible amount of luck. Grinner, AlienFlanders, hail sire, AbeSabian, and Gentlegamer all bail out safely.
But the badly wounded DarkCorsair is unable to bail out. His only chance is for JKLantern to stay with the plane and bring it down safely. (This requires rolling a 12 one two die. Any other result kills DarkCorsair and most results would finish off JK as well.)
But BLAST THE ODDS. It’s just not cricket to leave a crewman behind. Gritting his teeth, JK tries to bring the plane down for a landing.
He doesn’t make it. The plane flips and cartwheels, ripping itself apart. Both DarkCorsair and JKLantern are killed.
Well, you all hit the target, so it actually counts as a successful mission. But five of you are dead and the plane—which flew 15 missions—is a hopeless wreck.
The upside is you get a brand-new plane next time, along with five brand-new replacements to fill in the open slots on the crew.
The crew randomly selected from the reserves are Sumwath as pilot, CarBludgeon as co-pilot, madslaust as Top Turret Gunner, Milton Mouse on the Port Waist Gun, and J.C. Assterson on the Starboard Waist gun.
And you have what should be an easy mission next time. You’ll be bombing the industrial facilities at Antwerp, a target within your fighter escort umbrella.
We’re running low on reserves if there are any more relatives of dead/wounded crewmen who would like to sign up.
By the way--one more missiona and Grinner becomes an expert Bombadier, getting a bonus to hit the target. (Presuming he lives, of course.)
Pilot: Sumwath
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kill)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: JKLantern (6 kills) (ACE)
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabian (2 kills)
Port Waist Gunner:GroovyBoy (1 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: DarkCorsair
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (4 kills)
RESERVES: P-DiddyHub
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 6
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 21
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40
AlienFlanders
11/14/2009, 00:20
We must have hit the really good soup machines to tick the ratzis off like that.
At least I remembered not to cut up and sell my parachute to make into stockings.
BigDaddyHub
11/14/2009, 00:24
Aw man! I am the only reserve left. P-DiddyHub goes to bar and sulks.
Space Jawa
11/14/2009, 01:41
Robo Jawa shall honor the memory of his dead cousin by enlisting for the reserves.
AbeSapien
11/14/2009, 09:42
23 skidoo! That was close.
I'm glad I could be such a help, but to be so young and yet now be one of the vets of the plane, brings me much sorrow.
Gentlegamer
11/14/2009, 10:17
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is clear. But there is a dilemma. JKLantern doesn’t have the training to land the plane intact without an incredible amount of luck. Grinner, AlienFlanders, hail sire, AbeSabian, and Gentlegamer all bail out safely.
hail_sire doesn't have a parachute, he cut it up to make a wedding dress for his girlfriend back home.
BudPalmer
11/14/2009, 10:49
Drat, this close to being an invalid back home!
Add BiffPalmer to the reserves. He'll avenge his brother!
Or die trying.
madslaust
11/14/2009, 11:01
Holy ####! Well, I'm in now.
Isn't the Pilot's name supposed to be "Sumwaht"?
madslaust
11/14/2009, 11:03
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is clear. But there is a dilemma. JKLantern doesn’t have the training to land the plane intact without an incredible amount of luck. Grinner, AlienFlanders, hail sire, AbeSabian, and Gentlegamer all bail out safely.
hail_sire doesn't have a parachute, he cut it up to make a wedding dress for his girlfriend back home.
Reserve chute. He still has one, right?
...
Maybe he went all Blackhawk on us. (http://www.superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1324:next-time-maybe-wear-a-parachute-just-in-case&catid=29:confounding-comic-covers-index&Itemid=32)
DarkCorsair
11/14/2009, 11:48
You know, I think the last time I died it's because everyone bailed out when I was seriously wounded and the plane was left to fly into a mountain, so thanks to JKL for trying to save me. :)
Also as before, my faithful manservant, JeevesCorsair, will sign up for the reserves.
Sumwaht takes off his mask, revealing the signature evil twin goatee.
"Don't worry boys....I'll get you home safe and sound...."
*etches a scorebox into his right arm with his knife*
"Safe.....and sound....."
:devious:
Holy ####! Well, I'm in now.
Isn't the Pilot's name supposed to be "Sumwaht"?
Madslaust is right.
hail_sire doesn't have a parachute, he cut it up to make a wedding dress for his girlfriend back home.
Well, it isn't like there weren't 5 parachutes that weren't being used :grin:
BTW, really liked the flavor of JK sticking around to try and beat all odds, and not bail on his crewmate.
Of course, it would have been funnier to have him bail, and tell DC to take the wheel. :laugh:
BudPalmer
11/14/2009, 14:50
Well, it isn't like there weren't 5 parachutes that weren't being used :grin:
Mine had a few holes in it.
hail_eris
11/15/2009, 00:14
Good thing I found that rabbit's foot before we went up! And yep, that was my reserve chute I sent home to ma. After all, they call me "Lucky hail_sire" back home, not "Suicidal hail_sire."
I realized that with this last mission--not only was the original plane trashed, but the last of the original crewmembers bought the farm. We'll have no 25-mission heroes this time around. :disappointed:
BudPalmer
11/17/2009, 13:45
Sorry I'm not bullet-proof everyone!
hail_eris
11/17/2009, 13:59
I realized that with this last mission--not only was the original plane trashed, but the last of the original crewmembers bought the farm. We'll have no 25-mission heroes this time around. :disappointed:
We also lost our 6-kill ace in the top turret. Having managed to only kill half the crew and completely destroy the plane with his last story, before the next mission, "Lucky hail_sire" will have to tell you all about the little house with the picket fence that Sally Mae has picked out for us back in Cracker Jack.
We may all be distracted by the new Heroclix set, but by golly-gosh, there's still a war to win!
We'll be flying a relative milk run to Antwerp this weekned.
We may all be distracted by the new Heroclix set, but by golly-gosh, there's still a war to win!
We'll be flying a relative milk run to Antwerp this weekned.
How relative??? :noid:
How relative??? :noid:
There's an excellent chance that no more than two or three of you will be killed or maimed.
hail_eris
11/20/2009, 13:36
There's an excellent chance that no more than two or three of you will be killed or maimed.
"Lucky hail_sire" likes those odds! I'm gonna write a letter to pa and tell him to change the sign out front of the feed store. Right now, it says "sire General Merchandise," but I'm gonna tell him to go ahead and make it "sire and Son." Yep. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me from gettin' home in one piece! Dang it, now where'd I put my rabbit's foot?
madslaust
11/20/2009, 21:59
There's an excellent chance that no more than two or three of you will be killed or maimed.
Well, I have a feeling one of 'em 'll be me.
Bottoms up!
BigDaddyHub
11/21/2009, 11:38
*P-DiddyHub Rubs hands in anticipation...*
Milk! Milk! Milk!
MISSON 16
We head off to Antwerp to bomb the industrial factories there. We are assigned to the Tail position in our squadron. That means that every wave of enemy fighters will include an extra ME 109 attacking us from 6 o’clock high.!
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Still no enemy fighters.
Zone 4: Over the target and the weather is good. But two waves of enemy fighters come up towards us.
The first wave consists of three FW 190s and an ME 109. But we have great fighter coverage from the RAF today and two of the enemy planes are chased away. J.C. Assterson jams the Starboard Waist gun attempting to drive off a 190 with an extended burst. But both the remaining enemy planes miss us and fly off.
The second wave includes one FW 190 and one ME 109, but the Spitfires drive both of them away.
We drop down for the bomb run. There’s a lot of flak, but we take no hits. Grinner plants 30% of the bombs on target, knocking over factory smokestacks like dominoes.
We turn for home.
Zone 4: J.C. Assterson attempts to clear the jam in the Starboard Waist gun, but fails to do so. In the meantime, SIX ME 109s attack us. But the RAF is still performing wonderfully, getting rid of three of the enemy planes.
Grinner damages a 109 with the Nose Gun. But one of the remaining 109s rakes us from tail to nose. The autopilot mechanism is knocked out (but that does no harm—it’s only needed for the bomb run).
More serious damage is the J.C. Assterson is seriously wounded. Our new pilot, Sawuht, is lightly wounded but remains able to perform his duties. Navigator AlienFlanders loses his suit heater, putting him in danger of frostbite.
The escorts drive away the remaining enemy planes before they can come around for another run at us.
We’re close to home and within our fighter escort umbrella, so Sawuht decides to drop out of formation to a lower altitude, to save AlienFlanders from frostbite.
Zone 3: Milton Mouse reaches over J.C. Assterson’s unconscious form to try to fix the Starboard Waist gun, but it breaks permanently.
Because of our low altitude, some anti-aircraft fire comes our way, but we take no hits.
Three ME 109s attack. The Spitfires drive off two of them and madslaust uses the Top Turret guns to damage the third.
Zone 2: A ME 110 and an ME 109 attacks. Our escorts chase away the 109, while AbeSabien in the Ball Turret shoots down the 110.
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is bad. But Sawuht and Carbludgeon bring the plane down safely.
J.C. Assterson is rushed to the hospital and lives through the emergency operation. He’s invalided home, a survivor of just one mission before getting his medical discharge.
Sawuht is patched up and returned to duty.
Grinner is now an expert bombardier, which means he should be hitting the targets more frequently.
P-DiddyHub is brought up from the reserves to take over the Starboard Waist Gun position.
And we get another milk run next time. We’ll be going to Lille to bomb the factories there.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: madslaust
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (3 kills)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (4 kills)
RESERVES: Robo Jawa, BiffPalmer, JeevesCorsair
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 7
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 22
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson
CurBludgeon
11/23/2009, 00:06
Not another member of the Assterson clan!
Curse you, Jerry!!!
CurBludgeon
11/23/2009, 00:07
Stupid double post.
JackAssterson
11/23/2009, 02:11
Jack Hickenbottom Assterson for the reserves!
madslaust
11/23/2009, 17:36
Sweet, I made it through one!
We're flying off to bomb the factories at Lille this weekend. Since it's a four-day weekend for me, we might get an extra misson or two in before Monday.
BigDaddyHub
11/25/2009, 15:10
So I'll be an ace by Monday! I'll tell mom! I'll be home by Christmas!!!! Tie that yellow ribbon round that old oak tree. Let's give it to the hun!
P-DiddyHub
hail_eris
11/25/2009, 16:06
So I'll be an ace by Monday! I'll tell mom! I'll be home by Christmas!!!! Tie that yellow ribbon round that old oak tree. Let's give it to the hun!
P-DiddyHub
Dang. Looks like someone's trying to snatch the jinx crown from my head...
Time to break out my old letterman jacket. There it is! I was a receiver on my high school football squad. Yep, first string for the Cracker Jack Bullseyes. Got our team symbol right here on the back, and my lucky number 13 over here on the arm. Guys called me "the Magnet," because it seemed like you could throw anything into the air and it'd head straight towards me. Time to go scribble off a letter to Sallie Mae!
BigDaddyHub
11/25/2009, 16:47
"Dude..."
P-Diddy takes three steps AWAY from sire, acknowledging that there is a level of jinxing that a right-thinking human would never cross. The crown, sir, is ALL yours.
CurBludgeon
11/25/2009, 16:49
Hell, you're both due to finish your tours of duty in two weeks. Two weeks and you can retire and buy that boat you've been meaning to name the "Live Forever."
Stop worrying about those krauts. Retirement's just around the corner!
BudPalmer
11/25/2009, 16:51
Oh boy, two chances to get family back on a plane!
BigDaddyHub
11/25/2009, 16:57
I'm not dying above Germany. I have a little girl at home whom I have never seen and my wife is preggers. I hope I'm not standing by hail_sire, that guy is not coming back for sure, but I'm different.
I'm going to steer this plane into a mountain. I've decided that. There's really no point in trying to make it to the bomb site anymore. Mountain-side, it is.
CurBludgeon
11/25/2009, 17:02
*The co-pilot checks the seating again.* Radio operator and starboard waist gun.
Yep, staying far, far away.
EDIT: Oh. Mountain. Yeah. Mountain's good, too.
AlienFlanders
11/25/2009, 18:36
This plane is so weighed down with photos of girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/lovers/etc/et al I'm surprised it can takeoff at all.
BudPalmer
11/25/2009, 18:38
This plane is so weighed down with photos of girlfriends/**********/wives/lovers/etc/et al I'm surprised it can takeoff at all.
This is WWII, mister, there are some things we neither ask nor talk about!
I'm not dying above Germany. I have a little girl at home whom I have never seen and my wife is preggers. I hope I'm not standing by hail_sire, that guy is not coming back for sure, but I'm different.
If you haven't seen your little girl, then you left home before she was born.
Yet your wife is pregnant again?
Do the math. And file those divorce papers.
I know I said we might get extra missions in this weekend, but I've been sick as a dog the last two days, so we only flew one:
MISSON 17
A relative milk run to bomb the factories at Lille. What could possibly go wrong?
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Over the target and the weather is poor, making the target below harder to hit. Two waves of enemy fighters come up to meet us.
The first wave is driven off by other bombers in our formation.
The second wave consists of a single FW 190 and three ME 109s. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret manages to damage the 190 and drive it off. But two of the three 109s score hits to our Pilot Compartment.
One hit shatters the instrument panel, knocking out control to the ailerons. That will make landing the plane more difficult when we get home.
The more serious hit is to the Top Turret—a blast that both knocks out the Turret and kills madslaust, ending his brief career on the plane.
The two ME 109s come around for another pass. They both score some superficial hits, but one of them is damaged by Gentelgamer on the Tail guns as it whizzes past us.
The last 109 comes around for one more pass, but misses us.
We drop down for the bomb run. The anti-aircraft fire is light and we take no hits. Despite the poor weather, Grinner manages to place 20% of the bombs on target.
We turn for home.
Zone 3: Three ME 109s attack, but our escorting Spitfires finally earn their pay for the day by driving one of them off. P-DiddyHub on the Starboard Waist gun damages the remaining ME 109.
Zone 2: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is good. Despite the inoperable ailerons, the plane is brought in for a safe landing.
Well, so much for the “milk run.” Next time, we head deeper into occupied France to hit the heavily defended U Boat pens at Brest.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Robo Jawa
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (3 kills)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (4 kills)
RESERVES: BiffPalmer, JeevesCorsair, J.H.Assterson
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 8
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 22
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson
madslaust
11/29/2009, 20:39
Well, I have a feeling one of 'em 'll be me.
Bottoms up!
Looks like I was off by a mission.
:sleep:
In other news, maddy's cousin tsualsdam will join the reserves.
You guys are bombing Brest on your next mission.
That means if you break out some rations and have a snack during your bomb-run, you'll be "brest feeding."
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
EmperorNorton
12/01/2009, 16:15
That joke was well past its brest before date.
Ignatz_Mouse
12/01/2009, 16:21
This may be in bad taste, but does Emp get to fly one of the fighters attacking us?
This may be in bad taste, but does Emp get to fly one of the fighters attacking us?
He would probably like to, honestly.
EmperorNorton
12/01/2009, 16:26
I ain't gettin' on no plane.
I ain't gettin' on no plane.
Of course not. You get in the plane.
Don't worry, it's just like riding a bike! You lose your balance the first time and crash into the pavement! Only with more altitude before you drop, and explosive parts!
Gentlegamer
12/01/2009, 16:33
I canz shewt norton doun nao?
BudPalmer
12/01/2009, 16:52
I ain't gettin' on no plane.
Nobody switch their drinks with Norton. ;)
It'll be just like the A-Team.
"I Ain't getting on no plane, Hanibal!
Here, you eat my cheeseburger, I'll eat yours!"
You're off to bomb Brest this weekend.
Brest of luck to all of you.
I"m sure the mission will bring out the brest in all of you.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA--HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!
BigDaddyHub
12/04/2009, 10:49
*looks at BudPalmer's avatar.*
I think I can complete this mission from here, Kalel21.
Let's make this run the Brest one yet!
Gentlegamer
12/04/2009, 11:35
Concentrate, keep abrest of our mission goals.
I think Angelina Jolie has good brests, but I don't know if I would call them the brest brests. They are pretty good brests though.
Brests.
MISSON 18
We’re off to bomb the U-boat pens at Brest. U-Boat pens are always heavily guarded, but we are assigned to one of the middle squadrons, making us very slightly safer from enemy fighter planes.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Still no enemy fighters.
Zone 4: 3 FW 190s attack. Our escorting fighters drive away two of them. Milton Mouse on the Port Waist Gun damages the remaining enemy plane, then (as it whizzes past the B-17) Gentlegamer manages to finish it off with a quick blast from the Tail guns.
Zone 5: We’re outside our fighter escort umbrella, but no enemy planes attack.
Zone 6: Over the target and the weather is good. But we’re attacked by five FW 190s, coming at us from all directions. Fortunately, our gunners are really in form today. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret, AlienFlanders on the Port Cheek gun, and Robo Jawa in the Top Turret each damage an enemy plane.
But one of the damaged planes and the two that manage to avoid our defensive fire all manage to score hits on us. Most are superficial damage, but AlienFlanders is lightly wounded and the Navigator’s controls are knocked out. (That’s something that would only affect us if we have to leave the formation and find our way home alone.)
Finally, a hit to the tail knocks out the Starboard Elevator. That will make landing safely slightly more difficult.
The three FW 190s come around for another pass. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret damages another one. All of them miss us and fly away.
We drop down for the bomb run. Flak is heavy, but we take no hits. Grinner places 40% of the bombs on target, bringing the ceiling of a concrete sub pen crashing down onto the U-Boats inside.
We turn for home.
Zone 6: Two twin-engine ME 110s attack us. The Port Waist gun jams when Milton Mouse attempts to drive a 110 off with an extended burst. But AbeSabien manages to shoot that particular plane down anyways. Gentlegamer damages the other 110 and we take no damage.
Zone 5: The Port Waist gun breaks when Milton Mouse attempts to clear it. (Oh, wouldn’t his late daddy be embarrassed!!!)
Four ME 109s attack. Grinner damages one of them with the Nose gun. One of the remaining 109s gets a hit on us, inflicting a second light wound on AlienFlanders.
The 109 comes around for another pass, still evading our defensive fire. A hit to the Starboard Wing damages the wing root.
The enemy plane makes a third pass, but Gentlegamer manages to tag him with the Tail guns. Damaged, the 109 limps for home.
Zone 4: Back inside our fighter umbrella. Two ME 110s attack, but one is chased away by a Spitfire. Gentlegamer scores his second confirmed kill of the night by getting other 110.
Zone 3: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 2: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is good. We come in for a safe landing.
AlienFlanders is taken to the clinic, where his wounds are patched up. He returns to duty.
Gentlegamer is now an Ace (giving him a bonus against attacking fighters from now on.)
Our overall success rate is now 50%. That means we stand a chance of actually winning the campaign (with requires at least 13 successful missions out of the 25 we will fly).
Well, we survived a potentially dangerous mission without losing anyone. The boys at Command might be thinking we need a rest, because the next mission is another milk run. We’ll be having another try at the industrial facilities at Lille, which lies within our fighter escort umbrella.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Robo Jawa
Radio Operator: hail sire
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (4 kills)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (6 kills) (ACE)
RESERVES: BiffPalmer, JeevesCorsair, J.H.Assterson, tsualsdam
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 9
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 25
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson
AlienFlanders
12/06/2009, 18:42
Well, we survived a potentially dangerous mission without losing anyone. The boys at Command might be thinking we need a rest, because the next mission is another milk run. We’ll be having another try at the industrial facilities at Lille, which lies within our fighter escort umbrella.
Word of all our photographs of wives/lovers all over the plane must have got back to Bomber Command.:laugh:
madslaust
12/07/2009, 17:19
Word of all our photographs of wives/lovers all over the plane must have got back to Bomber Command.:laugh:
Fiendish, simply fiendish!
hail_eris
12/07/2009, 17:36
Word of all our photographs of wives/lovers all over the plane must have got back to Bomber Command.:laugh:
Nah, they just realized that they're going to need a *lot* more Gold Stars and folded American flags than they have on hand. They're just buying themselves some time until the seamstresses catch up.
AlienFlanders
12/07/2009, 18:42
Actually, I think the "milk run" is where we will buy the farm.
We're well within our fighter escort the whole time, during this run! There's no way we could all die in a horrific plane crash!
GroovyBoy
12/08/2009, 00:00
You're screwed. It's gonna be a single flak hit...
Space Jawa
12/08/2009, 01:40
You're screwed. It's gonna be a single flak hit...
Through the window, off the pilots skull, into the co-pilots brain, back through the hull, out the tail-gunners eyeball, into and out of all the engines - Nothin' but death.
Gentlegamer
12/08/2009, 08:45
I thought the mission to Brest was the milk run . . .
Ignatz_Mouse
12/08/2009, 09:16
Is that the brest joke you can make?
madslaust
12/08/2009, 18:23
Is that the brest joke you can make?
It's brestter than I could ever do.
BudPalmer
12/08/2009, 19:34
You guys sure do spell best wrong a lot.
I'm reading a book called "Savage Sky," written by a guy who served as a radioman on a B-17. There's a great story about his gunnery training just after he finished his radio training. He blasted away at a target time and again with a .50 caliber machine gun, but never once scored a hit. In fact, the recoil from the gun often knocked him back on his butt.
He told his instructor "I don't think I hit a thing." His instructor told him it didn't matter--the radioman on a B-17 mans a single machine gun sticking up through the roof that can't hit a thing anyways, so he would be better off just leaving it alone during missions.
BigDaddyHub
12/09/2009, 14:21
I'm reading a book called "Savage Sky," written by a guy who served as a radioman on a B-17. There's a great story about his gunnery training just after he finished his radio training. He blasted away at a target time and again with a .50 caliber machine gun, but never once scored a hit. In fact, the recoil from the gun often knocked him back on his butt.
He told his instructor "I don't think I hit a thing." His instructor told him it didn't matter--the radioman on a B-17 mans a single machine gun sticking up through the roof that can't hit a thing anyways, so he would be better off just leaving it alone during missions.
I read that they actually did a study that said that the bombers (B-17, B-25, B-24, B-29s) would be more effective if they didn't have any MGs on them because the added speed and range of flying without the additional crewmembers and weight of the guns and ammo. They decided to leave the guns on for morale. I believe this was mentioned in Ambrose's Wild Blue.
No wonder we never kill anything!
I learned something else from the book "Savage Sky" that I didn't know. Before each mission (or at least before the long ones), each crewman was given a medication that would clog up his intestines, so he wouldn't have to go during the 7 - 10 hours they'd be flying. Apparently, soiling yourself wasn't an option, because even with the heated flight suits, the stuff would freeze instantly and maybe freeze off parts of you.
When the mission was over, everyone took a dose of castor oil to clean out their insides. There was, therefore, a rush to the latrines after each mission.
BudPalmer
12/10/2009, 13:55
HAHA! Gross!
Everyone guzzle down your constipation-inducing meds; you're all off to bomb the factories at Lille this weekend.
BigDaddyHub
12/11/2009, 10:21
P-DiddyHub has imbibed and is cramping really hard.
CurBludgeon
12/11/2009, 11:53
P-DiddyHub has imbibed and is cramping really hard.
That's what she said?
MISSON 19
Today’s mission is bombing the factories at Lille, just a hop, skip and a jump over the channel.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: Over the target and the weather is good. But there’s not a single Spitfire in sight when two waves of enemy fighters jump us.
The first wave consists of 4 ME 109s. They weave untouched through our defensive fire, but only one of them scores some superficial hits on us. When that 109 comes around for another pass at us, Gentlegamer damages him with a burst from the Tail guns, driving him off.
The second wave consists of a single ME 109. Gentlegamer shoots him down.
We drop down for the bomb run. Incredibly, there’s no flak at all. Grinner lines up the target in his sights and plants 30% of the bombs on target, leaving a ball bearing plant in flames.
We turn for home.
Zone 3: Three waves of enemy fighters attack.
The first wave contains a single FW 190, which misses us and flies off.
The second wave is driven off by other bombers in our formation.
The last wave contains one FW 190 and one ME 110. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret shoots down the 110, earning his status as an Ace. But the 190 scores a hit and seriously wounds radioman hail sire.
The 190 comes around for another try at us, but is damaged by Robo Jawa in the Top Turret.
Zone 2: Two ME 109s and an FW 190 attack. Our escorts finally put in an appearance and chase away one of the 109s. The 190 scores some superficial hits and comes around for another pass, but is damaged by Robo Jawa’s guns.
Zone 1: Back in England and the weather is good. We come in for a safe landing.
hail sire is rushed to the hospital and emergency surgery saves his life. But for him the war is over. He’s gotten a Million Dollar Wound.
There are now two Aces on the crew, as well as the expert bombardier.
But you’ll need all that expertise for next time, when you go deep into occupied France to bomb the heavily defended U-boat base at St. Naziare.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Robo Jawa
Radio Operator: BiffPalmer
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (5 kills) (ACE)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (7 kills) (ACE)
RESERVES: JeevesCorsair, J.H.Assterson, tsualsdam
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 10
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 27
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
Space Jawa
12/12/2009, 03:00
*Grumble, grumble* Stupid German pilots *Grumble, grumble*
*Grumble, grumble* Flying to safety after I hit them *Grumble, grumble*
BudPalmer
12/12/2009, 10:41
RADIO?!?
I don't get to poop for this?
Awww, man!
RADIO?!?
I don't get to poop for this?
Awww, man!
The book I just read was the memoir of a B-17 radioman. They did a lot of stuff that just doesn't figure into the mechanics of the game. They keep a log of everything, take pictures of the target with a camera installed in the deck of the plane and take notes of anything unusual they see on the ground during the trip to and from the target. Also, over the target, he would visually check to see that the bomb bay doors opened and that the bombs dropped. Also, while over the target, he would dump canisters of chaff (aluminum strips) out the plane to try to foul up the radar-guided sights of the anti-aircraft guns.
Anyway, the boys at Intelligence want you to take some nice, clear pictures whenever the plane happens to fly over Miss Collette's Finishing School for Young Girls. They weren't clear on why.
BigDaddyHub
12/12/2009, 23:28
I think they needed new avatars for their Realms accounts.
AbeSapien
12/12/2009, 23:50
Hey, look at me, I'm a World War II flying ace!
GroovyBoy
12/13/2009, 04:24
Hey, look at me, I'm a World War II flying ###!
Cleared that up for ya...
I think they needed new avatars for their Realms accounts.
I am very quickly becoming a fan of yours, sir. :laugh:
AbeSapien
12/13/2009, 23:18
Cleared that up for ya...
Is this gonna turn into a thing?
GroovyBoy
12/14/2009, 00:01
Is this gonna turn into a thing?
No, your thing is located on the other side...
AlienFlanders
12/14/2009, 00:32
Phil Harris found his thing washed up on the beach.
I hate things. They always turn into full-fledged nouns with enough time. :(
This weekend, you all fly deep into Occupied France to have a go at the heavily defended U-boat pens at St. Naziare.
In other words:
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!
This weekend, you all fly deep into Occupied France to have a go at the heavily defended U-boat pens at St. Naziare.
In other words:
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!
Not all. Just the rest of the crew.
*reveals brick and leather belt*
Someone else is flying the plane. :devious:
....
####, I forgot to put these things into place before they took off. Whoops.... :nervous:
GroovyBoy
12/18/2009, 19:17
I got great seats waiting for you guys in the Underworld...
AlienFlanders
12/19/2009, 02:22
Just setting the last switch on the dimensional stabiliser ready to bring another victi...er sucke...er crewman through to "Volunteer" for the mission after this one.
MISSON 20
Today’s mission sends you deep into occupied France to hit the U-boat pens at St. Nazaire. You are, unfortunately, assigned to the lowest squadron—making you more vulnerable to enemy fighter attacks.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: A single ME 110 approaches, but an escorting Spitfire chases him away.
Zone 4: 2 FW 190s attack and there’s not an escort in sight. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret and P-DiddyHub on the Starboard Waist gun both score hits on a 190, shooting it down and sharing credit for the kill.
The remaining 190 scores a hit on the radio room, destroying the radio. This only affects us if we are out of formation and forced to splash down in the Channel without being able to send out an S.O.S.
On its second pass, the 190 misses us. Gentlegamer in the Tail Turret damages him as he passes by.
Zone 5: We’re outside our fighter escort umbrella nw. Two waves of enemy fighters fly up to meet us.
The first wave consists of three FW 190s. Gentlegamer damages one of them and they score no hits on us.
The second wave is nasty—no less than five ME 109s. Our defensive fire is ineffectual and three of the 109s get hits on us. BiffPalmer in the Radio Room is lightly wounded. More seriously, the heat to the Ball Turret is knocked out. But dropping out of formation without a radio is unacceptable—AbeSabien will have to risk frostbite.
On the second pass by the 109s, P-DiddyHub damages one. The others miss us.
Zone 6: Over the target and—gosh darn it—the weather is bad. The target is barely visible under thick cloud cover. Fortunately, AbeSabien manages to thus far avoid frostbite.
In the meantime, three waves of enemy fighters attack us.
The first wave consists of three FW 190s. All miss us.
The second wave contains FIVE 190s. Grinner damages one with the Nose gun. AbeSabien and Milton Mouse on the Port Waist gun score hits on another, sharing credit for the kill when it goes down in flames.
But one of the remaining 190s rakes us from stem to stern, scoring hits on every section of the plane. Fortunately, most of the hits are superficial, but the control cables (leading from the pilot compartment to the rudder) are damaged. Another hit to those and landing the aircraft will become a very difficult proposition.
Also, the Ball Turret is hit and the mechanism controlling it is jammed. The guns are out and AbeSabien is trapped inside. Now he can’t move to an operable heating unit even if a another spot opens up. Also, the Ball Turret can’t be retracted. If we lose the landing gear and have to make a belly landing---well….
The 190 that hit us comes around for another pass, but misses us.
The last wave of fighters is ANOTHER FIVE FW 190s. Gentlegamer damages one of them. In an incredible stroke of luck, the remaining fighters all miss us.
We drop down for the bomb run. Flak is heavy and some shrapnel rips through the Waist compartment, but hits nothing vital. Grinner, despite the jostling from the flak hit and the bad weather, spots a break in the cloud cover and plants thirty percent of the bombs on target. Concrete sub pens collapse and a sub tender sinks to the bottom of the bay.
We turn for home.
Zone 6: The cold finally gets to AbeSabien, huddled freezing and helpless in the Ball Turret. Frostbite sets in.
A single FW 190 and a pair of ME 109s attack us. All three score hits. Most are superficial, but the Starboard Wing Root is damaged. Too many hits there and our wing falls off.
Gentlegamer damages the 190 as it zips by us. The two 109s make another pass. They miss us and, as they pass by us, Gentlegamer blows one of them out of the sky.
Zone 5: Two FW 190s attack us. Grinner damages one of them with the Nose gun, but is scores a hit before flying off. Gentelgamer is lightly wounded.
Zone 4: Back within our escort umbrella, but no enemy fighters appear.
Zone 3: No enemy fighters.
Zone 2: Still nothin’.
Zone 1: Back home and the weather is good. The plane lands safely. BiffPalmer and Gentlegamer have their minor wounds patched up and are returned to duty. AbeSabien is rushed to the hospital, where it is discovered that his frostbite is relatively minor. He warms up again and is also returned to duty.
You were all incredibly lucky today. Your plane is full of bullet, cannon and shrapnel holes, but only a few of the hits did any serious damage.
Command is sending you out on a milk run next time. You’ll hit the ship yard at Rotterdam again—a target located within your fighter escort umbrella.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Robo Jawa
Radio Operator: BiffPalmer
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (6 kills) (ACE)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse (1/2 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub (1/2 kill)
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (9 kills) (ACE)
RESERVES: JeevesCorsair, J.H.Assterson, tsualsdam
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 11
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 31
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
Ignatz_Mouse
12/21/2009, 10:46
Wow!
As I was reading that, I was just ready for the "everybody dies in a bal of fire" ending that seemed inevitable!
hail_eris
12/21/2009, 10:54
Obviously, you underestimate the power of the rabbit's foot that "Lucky hail_sire" left behind on the plane. Yep, it's hanging right there on the radio, ready to bring you all the luck you need...
The remaining 190 scores a hit on the radio room, destroying the radio.
Aww, shucks. Y'all are gonna die.
Also, the Ball Turret is hit and the mechanism controlling it is jammed. The guns are out and AbeSabien is trapped inside. Now he can’t move to an operable heating unit even if a another spot opens up. Also, the Ball Turret can’t be retracted. If we lose the landing gear and have to make a belly landing---well….
That is, of course...unless Abe is a really good artist (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0511124/).
AlienFlanders
12/21/2009, 16:35
See, all the glue and sticky tape holding the pictures of our loved ones, and wives held the plane together...
AbeSapien
12/23/2009, 00:42
Ah, it'll take more than a little draft to knock me out of commission.
madslaust
12/26/2009, 18:07
Amazing that there were no fatalities!
Sorry about the long break between missions. I guess we all got Christmas leave.
With only five missions left, we'll probably go ahead and get them all flown over the next two weeks or so. Expect mission reports on random days from now on.
MISSION 21:
I didn't think it was possible, but we flew in a mission in which we weren't even SHOT AT!!!
We're off to bomb the ship yard at Rotterdam. We have good figther escort coverage there and back. The couple of times enemy planes appeared, the Spitfires chased them away. There was no flak over the target and Grinner puts 30% of the bombs on target.
We fly back without incident, with the Spitfires keeping the enemy planes away.
Not even shot at a single time--I don't think I've ever seen that happen in this game before. The gunners didn't have to expend a single round of ammunition.
BUT: The next mission will be the one that is literally the hardest in the game--we'll be hitting the U-boat pens at La Rochelle. The target is as deep into enemy territory (8 zones) as it is possible to get; there is likely to be a lot of fighter planes stalking us both there and back again; and it's expected that there will be heavy flak over the target.
Pilot: Sumwaht
Co-Pilot: CarBludgeon
Bombardier: Grinner (2 kills) (expert)
Navigator: AlienFlanders (1 kill)
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Robo Jawa
Radio Operator: BiffPalmer
Ball Turret Gunner: AbeSabien (6 kills) (ACE)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse (1/2 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: P-DiddyHub (1/2 kill)
Tail Gunner: Gentlegamer (9 kills) (ACE)
RESERVES: JeevesCorsair, J.H.Assterson, tsualsdam
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 12
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 31
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
BudPalmer
01/07/2010, 11:10
I was singing showtunes over the radio. They couldn't attack through their tears of joy.
I was singing showtunes over the radio. They couldn't attack through their tears of joy.
Well, there were tears involved...
We told the greatest joke ever. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Funniest_Joke_in_the_World)
MISSON 22
Today, we’re off to bomb the U-boat pens at La Rochelle, deep inside occupied France.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel. No enemy fighters encountered.
Zone 3: An FW 190 and an ME 110 approach us, but both are chased away by friendly Spitfires.
Zone 4: 2 waves of enemy fighters attack.
The first wave is driven off by other bombers in the formation.
Two FW 190s from the second wave attack us. Robo Jawa in the Top Turret damages one. The other misses us and flies off.
Zone 5: We’re outside our fighter escort umbrella and three FW 190s swoop in towards us. AbeSabien in the Ball Turret damages one of them, but another scores some hits, smashing the aileron on the Starboard Wing (making landing the plane a bit harder).
The 190 comes around for another pass at us. Machine gun bullets and cannon shell rip into our port wing and the outboard fuel tank bursts into flames!!!! Luckily, there’s no explosion, but our plane is doomed!
All the crew manage to bail out safely and our plane crashes and burns in a nearby onion field. But German troops are soon swarming the area. Eight of the crew are quickly captured. Soon, they find themselves prisoners in Stalag 13, under the eye of the dreaded Col. Klink. No one has ever escaped from Stalag 13, you know!!!
Only BiffPalmer and Milton Mouse manage to slip away and contact the French Underground.
After hiding for two weeks in the basement at Miss Collette’s Finishing School for Young Girls, the two are smuggled back to England.
Well, with three missions left to go, the three available reserves are randomly placed into open slots in the new plane. But there’s not enough reserves to go around. Will the campaign come to an ignoble end with a partially manned B-17 languishing on the runway?
Pilot: J.H.Assterson
Co-Pilot:
Bombardier: JeevesCorsair
Navigator:
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: tsualsdam
Radio Operator: BiffPalmer
Ball Turret Gunner:
Port Waist: Milton Mouse (1/2 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner:
Tail Gunner:
RESERVES:
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 11
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 31
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
POWs: Sumwaht, Carbludgeon, Grinner, AlienFlanders, Robo Jawa, AbeSabien,
P-DiddyHub, Gentlegamer
Ignatz_Mouse
01/13/2010, 09:56
We wouldn't want to lose that 1/2 kill experience!
Anyway, I'm sure our crew has a multitide of younger brothers, etc. to send to war.
With Thawmus dead and Sumwaht finally cashing in on that 5-year-traitor plan he worked out with Hitler, it falls to Romack to finally step up to the plate.
BudPalmer
01/13/2010, 10:37
Heh! No one can stop BiffPalmer.
Jinxed the hell out of myself on that one.
BigDaddyHub
01/13/2010, 11:06
HubDaddy-O has stepped up to the call. He rides for glory... and Eskimo Pies.
Space Jawa
01/13/2010, 12:33
Robo's younger brother Mecha Jawa will sign up to fight in his brothers place.
Grinner's Native American cousin Grinning Fox will step up
That's four new reserves. We need just one more.
hail_eris
01/13/2010, 14:27
Well, it seems that after he was invalided back to Cracker Jack, hail_sire just couldn't shut up about his exploits in the skies over Europe. Throngs of high school kids would flock to sire and Son general merchandise each day to hear his gripping tales of, err, staring at the radio for hours at a time. But, boy howdy, does he look fine in that bomber jacket! One young upstart, Jimmy Doolittle Rickenbacker, dashed off to the Army Air Forces recruiting station straight away...
We're crewed up and ready to go. We'll get another mission in this weekend.
AlienFlanders
01/13/2010, 16:51
Alien's twin Brother Ned will sign up for the reserves.
CurBludgeon
01/13/2010, 17:08
Sign up BurCludgeon for the reserves!
GroovyBoy
01/13/2010, 18:34
GroovyMan (not to be confused with Groovy Mann, lead singer of My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult) could not run to Canada fast enough to avoid the draft, and unfortunately is also a reserve...
GroovyMan (not to be confused with Groovy Mann, lead singer of My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult) could not run to Canada fast enough to avoid the draft, and unfortunately is also a reserve...
It wouldn't have mattered if you made it to Canada. They were in WWII also and THEY would have drafted you!!!
GroovyBoy
01/14/2010, 15:01
It wouldn't have mattered if you made it to Canada. They were in WWII also and THEY would have drafted you!!!
Not if they didn't have any records of me, and I was hiding up in Great Slave...
Gentlegamer
01/15/2010, 13:05
Gentlegamer's younger, more high-strung brother, Brutalgamer, signs up as a reserve, hoping one day to get the chance to rescue his older brother.
Gentlegamer
01/15/2010, 13:08
POWs: Sumwaht, Carbludgeon, Grinner, AlienFlanders, Robo Jawa, AbeSabien,
P-DiddyHub, Gentlegamer
When does the GREAT ESCAPE campaign start?
When does the GREAT ESCAPE campaign start?
I do have a WWII POW escape game called "Escape from Colditz," but it doesn't work as a play-by-thread game.
Maybe I can come up with something.
I do have a WWII POW escape game called "Escape from Colditz," but it doesn't work as a play-by-thread game.
Maybe I can come up with something.
IIRC in the previous threads the POWs were eligible for the random roll when you were pulling reserves to fill empty slots on the plane. If they were rolled, they had escaped.
I remember this because while Grinner hasn't been killed or invalided home, he has ended up in a POW camp before.
True story:
Maynard H. Smith was a ball-turret gunner on an American B-17 bomber when his plane was hit by anti-aircraft shells and caught fire. Despite the flames that were closing in on him, Smith aided two wounded crewmembers, then began using a fire extinguisher on the flames. At that moment, two German planes attacked, so he took time out from his fire fighting to man one of the bomber’s machine guns. Then he began to throw burning ammunition boxes out of the plane. When he had used up the last fire extinguisher, he urinated on the flames and used his hands and feet to beat them out. For his actions, he was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.
GroovyBoy
01/19/2010, 15:53
I pee on things all the time (well, not all the time, but it occurs a lot when I'm on the town drinking), and I haven't won the CMH...
EmperorNorton
01/19/2010, 16:31
I pee on things all the time (well, not all the time, but it occurs a lot when I'm on the town drinking), and I haven't won the CMH...
That probably only works when peeing on really expensive military equipment. You should try that next time.
hail_eris
01/19/2010, 16:37
I think you're missing the second part of the equation. See, simply peeing on something isn't enough. You then have to follow it up by physically beating it into submission. That's what separates a misdemeanor for public urination from a Medal of Honor-worthy act.
GroovyBoy
01/19/2010, 16:45
Ah.
You know, back when I was in college, I peed on a Masonic Temple one night on my way home from the bars. I had just finished reading Holy Blood, Holy Grail and the Messianic Legacy by Baigent and Leigh, and I was totally paranoid the next day that the Mason were gonna find me and kill me...
hail_eris
01/19/2010, 17:12
I had just finished reading Holy Blood, Holy Grail and the Messianic Legacy by Baigent and Leigh, and I was totally paranoid the next day that the Mason were gonna find me and kill me...
If you took away one lesson from that book, it should have been that the Masons are a patient lot. They're just waiting for the right moment.
MISSON 23
Today, we’re going to Germany, to bomb the rail yards at Hamm.
Zone 1: We take off.
Zone 2: Over the Channel and the enemy hits us right away. Three FW 190s whiz past our escorts and attack us. Milton Mouse on the Port Waist gun damages one of them. Another scores some superficial hits to our starboard wing, then comes around for another pass. It misses us and flies off.
Zone 3: A pair of twin-engine ME 110s attack. Our escorting fighters chase one away. Grinning Fox in the Ball Turret damages the other, forcing it to limp home.
Zone 4: No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5: We’re outside our fighter escort umbrella and a pair of ME 109s attack us.
Milton Mouse damages one, but it manages to score some hits one us regardless. Bullets ripping through the plane’s Waist compartment lightly wound both Milton and Starboard Waist gunner J.D. Rickenbacker. Both remain in the fight, though.
The other 109 is hit by both Rickenbacker and tsualsdam in the Top Turret. They share credit for the kill.
Zone 6: No enemy fighters.
Zone 7: Over the target and the weather is poor! Despite the overcast, four ME 109s manage to spot us. Milton Mouse shoots one down. Another scores hits on our Starboard Wing, destroying the Aileron. It misses us on its next pass.
We drop down for the bomb run, managing to avoid any hits from the anti-aircraft fire. Despite the overcast, JeevesCorsair drops 5% of the bombs on target. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.
We turn for home.
Zone 7: Other bombers in our formation drive away the fighters.
Zone 6: We begin an incredible streak of luck. No enemy fighters appear.
Zone 5: No enemy fighters.
Zone 4: Back within range of our fighter cover, but still no enemy activity.
Zone 3: Three FW 190s attack us. Our escorts drive one off. Grinning Fox nails another. JeevesCorsair damages the last one with the Nose Gun.
Zone 2: No enemy fighters.
Zone 1: Back home and the weather is good. We land safely. The waist gunners are patched up and returned to duty.
Only two missions left. If at least one of them is successful (meaning we hit the target), then the campaign is considered a victorious one.
But we have to survive those missions to accomplish that. And the boys at Command have decided to send us back to Hamm for another go at the railroad there. We’re unlikely to be so lucky a second time as to avoid the enemy almost completely during the trip home.
Pilot: J.H.Assterson
Co-Pilot: Hubdaddy-O
Bombardier: JeevesCorsair
Navigator: Romack
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: tsualsdam (1/2 kill)
Radio Operator: BiffPalmer
Ball Turret Gunner: Grinning Fox (1 kill)
Port Waist: Milton Mouse (1 1/2 kill)
Starboard Waist Gunner: Jimmy Doolittle Rickenbacker (1/2 kill)
Tail Gunner: Mecha Jawa
RESERVES:
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 12
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 33
RESERVES: NedFlanders, BurCludgeon, GroovyMann, Brutalgamer
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
POWs: Sumwaht, Carbludgeon, Grinner, AlienFlanders, Robo Jawa, AbeSabien,
P-DiddyHub, Gentlegamer
Ignatz_Mouse
01/26/2010, 10:20
That's my boy! Get 'em, Milton!
madslaust
02/03/2010, 14:19
Didn't realize tsualsdam was in. Atta boy!
DarkCorsair
02/03/2010, 20:51
Yeah, I'm glad Jeeves got a small hit, but he's gotta follow through on the shooting! Follow-through, Jeeves! And more bombs on target!
MISSION 24
WORST MISSION EVER!!!!!
We take off to bomb the rail yards at Hamm. We encounter no enemy planes in Zones 2 & 3.
But in Zone 4, we get jumped by a single ME 109 and there are no protecting escorts nearby. Defensive fire from the Nose gun and the Top Turret miss. The 109 scores a hit on the Bomb Bay.
WHICH DETONATES THE BOMBS AND TURNS THE ENTIRE PLANE INTO FLAMING CONFETTI!!!!!
I'm afraid I got out of the habit of running this missions regularly over the Christmas break and I know that it's taken a lot of the momentum out of the campaign. Sorry about that. I think we'll take the violent deaths of the entire crew as an omen to bring this campaign to an end. I'll start fresh again some time in the future.
In the meantime, I'll turn to another solitaire game I own called Dinosaurs of the Lost World to see which of you will end up flowing through the intestines of a T-Rex. I'll start that thread later today.
Pilot:
Co-Pilot:
Bombardier:
Navigator:
Engineer/Top Turret Gunner:
Radio Operator:
Ball Turret Gunner:
Port Waist:
Starboard Waist Gunner:
Tail Gunner:
RESERVES:
SUCCESSFUL MISSIONS: 12
ENEMY FIGHTERS DOWN: 33
RESERVES: NedFlanders, BurCludgeon, GroovyMann, Brutalgamer
KIA: JOH2005, Ignatz Mouse, hail eris, JackAssterson, BigDaddyHub, Thawmus, DocDoom187, BudPalmer, Space Jawa, JKLantern, GroovyBoy, DarkCorsair, madslaust, J.H. Assterson, Hubdaddy-O, JeevesCorsair, Romack, tsualsdam, BiffPalmer, Grinning Fox, Milton Mouse, Jimmy Doolittle Rickenbacker, Mecha Jawa
INVALIDED HOME: CurBludgeon, Kalel21, Charlesx, Shadow40, J.C. Assterson, hail sire
POWs: Sumwaht, Carbludgeon, Grinner, AlienFlanders, Robo Jawa, AbeSabien,
P-DiddyHub, Gentlegamer
DarkCorsair
02/10/2010, 10:49
Oh... that didn't go so well at all.
Ignatz_Mouse
02/10/2010, 10:50
Did that really happen when we were only a couple of missions from being done? Dang!
Did that really happen when we were only a couple of missions from being done? Dang!
The ironies of war. It does kinda stink, doesn't it? I was actually tempted to cheat and re-roll the dice, but I couldn't make myself do it.
Ignatz_Mouse
02/10/2010, 10:55
That would ruin the point of it all.
Wow.
We've had planes crash and burn before, we've lost crew before, but I don't think we've EVER gotten that one before! :laugh:
I think it's even funnier that it was the first encounter and a lone enemy plane. But then again, I'm twisted that way :grin:
The Dinosaurs of the Lost World thread (http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269820) is up, if anyone wants to give that one a try.
GroovyBoy
02/10/2010, 17:05
Heck, my crew's plane blow up from bomb hits waaaaaaaay before the 24th mission...
I'm glad you didn't re-roll the dice, Kal. This was 10x funnier. :laugh:
BudPalmer
02/10/2010, 20:03
Biff's twin BartPalmer joins up.
If at first you don't succeed, get blown up again.
BigDaddyHub
02/14/2010, 22:03
Holy cow... Well. The B-17 thread sure went out with a bang!
hail_eris
02/16/2010, 15:45
In spite of our fiery deaths, if anyone would like more information about the Allied air campaign, there's a new episode of American Experience (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/bombing/) that examines both the bombers and the bombees.
There's a new B-17 thread up. (http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293810)
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