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shin-goji
03/04/2003, 12:48
Gazziza, my Dilznoofus! Welcome to the first Hero-Lix sponsored figure review. This is not to compete with azs' excellent reviews, this is merely an excuse to write.

Today's review is of the previewed, unconfirmed stats for the X-Plosion Paramedic. Medics get a bad rap in Hero-Clix, mainly due to tactics used by the Firelord Yo-Yo Medic brigade. Medics, like them or not, are a necessary evil. While it's not a very superhero-like thing to do to have Thor dragging around a hapless SHIELD Medic as he goes toe to toe with assorted baddies of all factions, they are a part of the game, so deal with them. Some choose to ban medics from their games or call for massive revisionist history such as the Support power should mimic the Regeneration power. BUT, since it monkeys will sooner fly out of my butt, let's deal with the game as it was meant to be played: by the rules set down by the creators.

The X-Plosion Paramedic fills a badly needed gap to themed teams: factionless support. Having an all-Skrull team invade New York City to take over its bagel supply is all well and good. But how often can you see a SHIELD, Hydra or AIM Medic running along side the Super Skrull to heal injured aliens? Defending the X-Mansion from the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a fun scenario, but once again you're not going to find the facist Hydra or AIM aiding a bunch of mutants, and Nick Fury could give a flying fudge if Wolverine has a paper cut.

Hence, the need for the Paramedic. She can easy be fielded as a helpful Morlock for the X-Men, a part-time staffer on the Avenger's payroll, or a Skrull in disguise. I myself have been wanting a factionless support figure for as long as I have wanted to see a Skrull medic. But, since there's no way in hell we're gonna see a medic that has a one in six chance of not being hit, let's move on.

The rookie costs about 8 points, has 2 clicks of support, 0 damage, and has a lower than average attack of 7. You can easily replace that pesky, overcosted Thug with a helpful Paramedic. The experienced version hs 3 clicks of support, is 10 points, and has an average attack of 8, quickly declining to 7 and 6. Definitely better than average and a cheap replacement for the accuracy of an AIM Medic, who is the most useful medic in the game in my opinion. The veteran has 4 clicks of support, an 8-7-7-6 attack, and only costs 12 points. Again, a great cheap medic, without the extra cost of a team ability or damage. I don't often find myself throwing spitballs at Firelord with my SHIELD Medic.

This figure can be very useful in just about ANY team, and can be fielded with ease. Keep her in the back of the team and let your big bad bruisers and energy zakkers come whimpering home after they've taken a few hits, or stubbed their toes from critical misses. An 8 attack can hit a 13 or less on 5 or better and isn't all that bad of a roll. A gentle reminder that while Perplex is abundant in X-Plosion, it cannot b used to aid a healing roll in any way, as set down by the rules.

Juggernaut feeling down after that pesky Black Panther took away his Invulnerability while hiding in the bushes? Have him sign the waiver for the First Hebrew Medical Center of Magneto. Is Wolverine not really the best there is at what he does? Let Moria McTaggart put a band-aid on his boo-boo. Did Firelord just get targeted by everyone on the board? Let the Intergalactic Paramedic try and miss hitting a 9 defense.

I hope you've enjoyed this review. But if you are getting ready to sell your collection of Hero-Clix because of the massive cheese you foresee in X-Plosion breaking your game, you probably didn't.

napa
03/04/2003, 12:59
Cool reveiw man. now my skrull army can have a medic other than the little green lady(Hydra medic).

shin-goji
03/04/2003, 13:00
I would highly suggest even painting her skin green and give her the cheese grater chin.

IJIT
03/04/2003, 13:16
You, you, how could you, underestimate the power of the thug?
In our area thug is all seeing.....
All Powerful.....
All Wise....
and All knowing....

He can take out a sentinal in one hit!
Whenever you hit thug you take a retaliation of 5 clixs (unreduced by defensive powers)
When (ha ha) if ever you take a thug out every member on the board that was on his side gets full life back.
Thug has 22 defense versus anyone that isnt a thug.
And whenever a thug goes toe to toe with the big wussy firelord he gets plus 10 to damage and plus 10 to attack.

SO I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE SLAMS ON THE ALL POWERFUL THUG!!!!!!!!!!

shin-goji
03/04/2003, 13:38
Sounds like your thug needs a hug.

napa
03/04/2003, 13:43
because he found a bug in his mug.

CyberVenom
03/04/2003, 13:44
Great review, and excellent NewsRadio reference! I must now go read my copy of Macho Business Donkey Wrestler.

shin-goji
03/04/2003, 13:47
Fear my skills. I will make you sweat.
Donkey Donkey Donkey Donkey Donkey Donkey.