To all the mods of games Rokk is in ...

[Truffle Shuffle]

Rokk will be away from the Realms for a while. He apologizes profusely, but he will need to be replaced.

Send him good vibes that things will be well.

[Silver Lantern]

Hope everything is ok! GL man.

[Wade Wilson]

Tell him Blue Lantern Corp...

[mbauers]

Hey Truffle, does this mean you will replace Rokk if needed in my HC mafia 2 since, you know, you didn't sign up and all that? :p

[Rokk_Krinn]

Tell him Blue Lantern Corp...

Thanks but needing a little more than Hope here folks. I don't traditionally ask this but if folks are the praying type we could really use some our way.

Admitted my spouse with an aggressive and unexpected Pauci immune disease /ANCA attack that has severly compromised and even outright destroyed, in some areas, various systems (eg - her renal system is 40% gone and short of miracle will not remain functioning). We're fighting back with what we can - immediately plunged her into plasmapheresis, administration of Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), etc. - but if things don't respond well in the next couple days, it's grim.

I'm losing my wife.

The kick in the teeth - she's pregnant and if things go even a little further South termination will have to incur. They are going to kill my child. May sound melodramatic to some of you but that's what it boils down to - losing my baby (and this is not a case of "Well, you can always have another go.")

So, yeah...sharing a bit here because I'm...I'm in need with no real control or options and it's unfamiliar and lousy and not what I normally believe in.

[Thawmus]

Dude....I am so...so so so sorry. :cry:

Definitely getting some prayers from this corner.

And I'm definitely going to suggest that you stay in contact to some degree with us. You need some social support for what you're going through. :disappointed:

If you want to talk or anything, let me know. I think you still have my number, but if not, I'll PM it to you.

[Melkhor]

I.... I don't know what to say other than... no. I really don't know what I can say... I'm sorry :(

You have my deepest sympathies my friend and every hope against hope that everything will somehow work out and tragedy be avoided.

Beyond that... I... well, you are my friend, and you always will be, so if you need anything whatsoever that I can possibly help with, you know how to reach me.

I'm here for you anyway I can be, which, of course, I realise isn't much at all, but it's the best I can do :(

Your friend
Anders

[Quebbster]

Thanks but needing a little more than Hope here folks. I don't traditionally ask this but if folks are the praying type we could really use some our way.

Admitted my spouse with an aggressive and unexpected Pauci immune disease /ANCA attack that has severly compromised and even outright destroyed, in some areas, various systems (eg - her renal system is 40% gone and short of miracle will not remain functioning). We're fighting back with what we can - immediately plunged her into plasmapheresis, administration of Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), etc. - but if things don't respond well in the next couple days, it's grim.

I'm losing my wife.

The kick in the teeth - she's pregnant and if things go even a little further South termination will have to incur. They are going to kill my child. May sound melodramatic to some of you but that's what it boils down to - losing my baby (and this is not a case of "Well, you can always have another go.")

So, yeah...sharing a bit here because I'm...I'm in need with no real control or options and it's unfamiliar and lousy and not what I normally believe in.
I'm not normally a praying man, but this situation requires an exception. I cannot begin to fathom what you are going through.

[Immortal_Raven]

I'm so sorry to hear that Rokk. We're all here for you. I live 60 miles down the road if you need anything.

Prayer is a powerful thing, and I will definitely be doing some on your behalf.

[malakim2099]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Rokk.

Hope is illogical, but it does have its uses. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts.

[Grinner]

Our prayers are with you, and as others have said, you know how to get a hold of me in RL if you need/want to.

[viciousbuddha]

like everyone else here on the realmes my heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this time.

[sstralkowski]

My thoughts are with you, man. Hang in there.

[SkyKushryd]

I know that it isn't much, but my thoughts and prayers are going out to you. :(

[deadshot042]

Words cannot suffice. You will be in my thoughts in the coming weeks.

I do hope that things are not as dark as they seem and that you will find strength in those close to you.

[incredible]

Thoughts and prayers sent your way.
Amen....

[EmperorNorton]

So, yeah...sharing a bit here because I'm...I'm in need with no real control or options and it's unfamiliar and lousy and not what I normally believe in.

I am very sorry, as worthless as that may be.
Should your need take any concrete form you can be sure everybody here will try their best to help.

[tyroman]

I'm so sorry for you Rokk. I'm praying for a Christmas miracle. I don't understand any of the medical stuff but get that its bad; I truly hope your wife pulls thru. :(

[KonanOrigamiUser]

Being religious myself I'll definitely have you in my prayers Rokk... I can't really say anything but that I sincerely believe that the best will happen.

[Peers]

Nobody should ever have to go through what you're going through... the fact you're still going shows how strong you are. We're all praying for a Christmas miracle for you, man.

[kontrol]

Words sometimes can't convey the depths of our emotions. I know when I was going through the bad times that Rokk always offered a friendly ear. It meant a lot to me to know that if I needed it I could talk to him or a number of other realmsers. I just want him to know I'll do no less and if he needs an ear, shoulder, whatever, in addition to prayer, my line is always open.

[Wade Wilson]

I am going to be honest here, I really don't know what to say. I guess I am just taken a back on this a bit. Seems a bit surreal, we like to think that everything is okay, especially around the holidays and we don't like having friends be hurt like this nor have bad things happen to them. I will keep you and yours in my thoughts. If you need anything feel free to ask, my PM box is always open as I am sure is everyone elses.

[CarlosMucha]

I so sorry Rokk. :( I really believe that miracles are posible and I will pray for that for you. We all will be thinking in You and your family.

[mbauers]

Hey Truffle, does this mean you will replace Rokk if needed in my HC mafia 2 since, you know, you didn't sign up and all that? :p

I just want to say that I posted this not knowing all the details--I just assumed Rokk was going to be busy with work or due to the holidays.

Now that I know the circumstances, I just want to say that I apologize for this post. It looks insensitive, but it was actually just from ignorance. I PMed Rokk saying this too.

I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your family, Rokk. You all are in my thoughts.

[VikingRS]

I don't know you except from the Secret Santa thing, but your in my thoughts. Good luck and I hope things work out! :)

[DarqFeonix]

Been in my thoughts all weekend, Rokk, hope things are going better. Not much more one can say than that...

[DocDoom187]

I'm sorry I didn't see this before.

Words really are just meaningless here. Just know we are all here for you. My sympathy goes out to you beyond anything I could articulate. Prayers are with you and I'll be leading an extra Psalm after daily prayers for your wife's speedy recovery.

We're here for you Rokk.

[Jackofhearts2005]

Praying for you, my friend.

[charlesx]

I'm probably the last one to hear about this, so my apologies for posting so late in the thread.

Your wife and baby will be in my family's prayers. I can't imagine what you are going through. You have my sincere wishes that hope remains strong and that all hardships eventually are overcome.

[tyroman]

do we have any update on Rokk's situation? pretty horrible thing to go through, esp at the holidays. :(

[kontrol]

do we have any update on Rokk's situation? pretty horrible thing to go through, esp at the holidays. :(

Yeah. I was just in contact with Rokk a couple hours ago and got an update. As some of you know he's going through a rough time right now. The prognosis has not gotten any better I'm sad to report. His wife is not responding to the treatments as the have hoped and her reaction to it is regressing. An extra layer to that is the pregnancy. She's not yet at 24 weeks (six months) and that has its own set of hurdles to overcome.

We all know Rokk is well like a rock, he's not going to give up and neither should we. Much like we all pulled together when Rokk was sick and showed him and his family how much we cared, we need to do the same now. I'd like to think that we are more than just a collection of gamers (Heroclix or Mafia), that we're a family. And one of our own needs us now in his time of need.

Bottom line is Rokk can use some well wishes and prayers.

Thanks.

[goodman]

Christ, am so so sorry Rokk, don't usually pray either but will be for you and your family, really hope things turn around for you

[KO Bossy]

I really wish I'd read this sooner. I know I haven't been around much here lately, but I still feel terrible. God...what this poor man has gone through. And during the holidays, to top it all off. I don't even know what to say. If there's anything you need, Rokk, I'll do my best to help you. You want prayers, you got 'em.

[dbauers]

Yeah. I was just in contact with Rokk a couple hours ago and got an update. As some of you know he's going through a rough time right now. The prognosis has not gotten any better I'm sad to report. His wife is not responding to the treatments as the have hoped and her reaction to it is regressing. An extra layer to that is the pregnancy. She's not yet at 24 weeks (six months) and that has its own set of hurdles to overcome.

We all know Rokk is well like a rock, he's not going to give up and neither should we. Much like we all pulled together when Rokk was sick and showed him and his family how much we cared, we need to do the same now. I'd like to think that we are more than just a collection of gamers (Heroclix or Mafia), that we're a family. And one of our own needs us now in his time of need.

Bottom line is Rokk can use some well wishes and prayers.

Thanks.

well said, sir. add my prayers to the mix.

[sstralkowski]

Yeah. I was just in contact with Rokk a couple hours ago and got an update. As some of you know he's going through a rough time right now. The prognosis has not gotten any better I'm sad to report. His wife is not responding to the treatments as the have hoped and her reaction to it is regressing. An extra layer to that is the pregnancy. She's not yet at 24 weeks (six months) and that has its own set of hurdles to overcome.

We all know Rokk is well like a rock, he's not going to give up and neither should we. Much like we all pulled together when Rokk was sick and showed him and his family how much we cared, we need to do the same now. I'd like to think that we are more than just a collection of gamers (Heroclix or Mafia), that we're a family. And one of our own needs us now in his time of need.

Bottom line is Rokk can use some well wishes and prayers.

Thanks.

Thanks for the update, man. It's appreciated. And anything you can think of that would lift his spirits, I'm in for.

[tyroman]

thanks for the update, kontrol, he's still in my thoughts and prayers. if there's anything more we can do let us know.

[Rokk_Krinn]

Thank you for the kind words but I guess sometimes prayer isn't enough. I thought about asking Kontrol or Truff or TAK to update but that's unfair on them. They've done enough and I thank them with unending gratitude but I need to be a man and do a few things myself.

Initial results held some promise but last few days we'd been seeing regression. Today's labs though were extremely bad - worse than when she entered the hospital.

Because of this the pregnancy has to come to an end. He - we know it's a boy - is still strong and healthy and damned if he doesn't look like me (at least from the features we can see during ultrasound). He is still in second trimester though - so close and yet so far to minimal viability - and will not survive the delivery. Yes, delivery. That is how it has to be done - inducing of labour. I get a precious few seconds with my son - the only one I will likely ever have as another pregnancy will not be possible even if Kristen makes it through the rest of the treatments alright.

I have always been a strong family person and the injustice seems particularly grotesque but I guess it's the path I walk. I guess it had to hit someone and maybe by me being on it that spares someone else - I don't know how that all works - but that's still going to be small consolation during those few seconds with my son.

There is still hope for Kristen though and I appreciate the prayers you've sent her way. She really needs them with what's to come.

[Melkhor]

I wish there was more I could say Rokk... and I wish even more there was anything I could do.

My thoughts and prayers (for what they'll be worth) are with you, always.

[DocDoom187]

I'm so sorry Rokk. There's just nothing to say. Praying for you.

[Quebbster]

Thank you for the kind words but I guess sometimes prayer isn't enough. I thought about asking Kontrol or Truff or TAK to update but that's unfair on them. They've done enough and I thank them with unending gratitude but I need to be a man and do a few things myself.

Initial results held some promise but last few days we'd been seeing regression. Today's labs though were extremely bad - worse than when she entered the hospital.

Because of this the pregnancy has to come to an end. He - we know it's a boy - is still strong and healthy and damned if he doesn't look like me (at least from the features we can see during ultrasound). He is still in second trimester though - so close and yet so far to minimal viability - and will not survive the delivery. Yes, delivery. That is how it has to be done - inducing of labour. I get a precious few seconds with my son - the only one I will likely ever have as another pregnancy will not be possible even if Kristen makes it through the rest of the treatments alright.

I have always been a strong family person and the injustice seems particularly grotesque but I guess it's the path I walk. I guess it had to hit someone and maybe by me being on it that spares someone else - I don't know how that all works - but that's still going to be small consolation during those few seconds with my son.

There is still hope for Kristen though and I appreciate the prayers you've sent her way. She really needs them with what's to come.
So very very sorry to hear this Rokk. I cannot even imagine how this must be for you.

[Rokk_Krinn]

I will ask though as, honestly, I don't feel like explaining twice, if someone could fill in the HCFL so they understand why I've got Kontrol as my draft proxy I would appreciate it (word reached me that a few folks were upset at the delay that it put on things). Thank you.

[CarlosMucha]

I'm so sorry Rokk, thank you for let us know, I wish we could do more, our thoughts will keep with you and the people you love.

[Thawmus]

I'm really sorry Rokk. I wish we could do something. Still in my thoughts and prayers. :(

[sstralkowski]

Hang in there, buddy. We're all pulling for you guys.

[Ouchmaker]

Yeah, can't really say much which already hasn't been said. My thoughts are with you.

[HavokAndChaos]

So sorry for you Rokk, my thoughts and prayers are still with you and your wife.

[Ignatz_Mouse]

So sorry Rokk-- you and your family are in my heart and thoughts.

[csi]

Thanks but needing a little more than Hope here folks. I don't traditionally ask this but if folks are the praying type we could really use some our way.

Admitted my spouse with an aggressive and unexpected Pauci immune disease /ANCA attack that has severly compromised and even outright destroyed, in some areas, various systems (eg - her renal system is 40% gone and short of miracle will not remain functioning). We're fighting back with what we can - immediately plunged her into plasmapheresis, administration of Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), etc. - but if things don't respond well in the next couple days, it's grim.

I'm losing my wife.

The kick in the teeth - she's pregnant and if things go even a little further South termination will have to incur. They are going to kill my child. May sound melodramatic to some of you but that's what it boils down to - losing my baby (and this is not a case of "Well, you can always have another go.")

So, yeah...sharing a bit here because I'm...I'm in need with no real control or options and it's unfamiliar and lousy and not what I normally believe in.

You and your family are in mine and my family's prayers. I can't even imagine what your going through.

[ghosta]

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I will be praying for you.

[Truffle Shuffle]

Love, always.

[The BoyBlunder]

I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. All I can hope is that Joe has some good support on his end as well as here.

We are all praying for you and your family.

[goodman]

I'm so so sorry Rokk, my prayers are with you and your wife

[Rokk_Krinn]

Sorry to continue to be a downer but I've a serious question with which I need help as it's one of the toughest things to hit (this in a day where I have had to simultaneously begin preparations for the birth & baptism and then the "dispensation of the deceased").

They (the hospital) told me they would take care of moldings of the hands and feet...little clip of the hair..that stuff (which I know sounds horribly bizarre for those not walking this path). They told me though to think about what - if anything - I would like to do with my son for that way too brief time he will be with us. And that just shot my thought process...I feel like I should have a good answer and I've...nothing beyond "love him".

So I hate to ask this - I'm not a "beggar", despite recents - but I need help. If you had only a little time ever with your child what would you do? I know there are parent out there who may be more tuned but...anyone. Please. Really no one here I can ask - spoke to my father on the phone and he was of the thought I should just avoid it but I know if I miss this so very small window I will never forgive myself.

If you can think of anyone whom might have a good answer please don't hesitate to ask them for me.

I've got such a small chance and I don't want to fail my son.

Again, I am sorry if people consider this drama or anything but please forgive me for this.

[Rokk_Krinn]

PS - I don't normally do this (I tend to value my privacy) but I don't know how much I will be back so if folks want to text suggestions or such my phone number is available through Kontrol, TAK, Truff, Melkhor, etc - and they all have my permission to share it right now. Thought about just posting it but don't want it just floating for anyone who's not part of the Realms to just grab and abuse it.

[tenketsu]

Rokk you seem to be living through what I'm sure is many of our greatest nightmares. I can't even begin to conceive what it's like, and I'm pretty sure I'd regret it if I managed to. I really hope you and your wife come out of this ok, although I'm sure even in the best case that it'll take a long time to get back to 'normal'.

It's incredibly trivial in comparison, but I don't think anyone was upset at you in the League, people just always kid about those who don't have their picks in--I don't think anyone's ever been seriously annoyed about it.

It may not be much, but in your dark times, don't forget that even if your wife can't carry to term, you can still be a father. There's surrogate pregnancy, adoption, even just mentoring. There are still options for you.

[Ignatz_Mouse]

Rokk-- talk to your son. Not for him so much as for yourself. I would just talk.

[viciousbuddha]

Sorry to continue to be a downer but I've a serious question with which I need help as it's one of the toughest things to hit (this in a day where I have had to simultaneously begin preparations for the birth & baptism and then the "dispensation of the deceased").

They (the hospital) told me they would take care of moldings of the hands and feet...little clip of the hair..that stuff (which I know sounds horribly bizarre for those not walking this path). They told me though to think about what - if anything - I would like to do with my son for that way too brief time he will be with us. And that just shot my thought process...I feel like I should have a good answer and I've...nothing beyond "love him".

So I hate to ask this - I'm not a "beggar", despite recents - but I need help. If you had only a little time ever with your child what would you do? I know there are parent out there who may be more tuned but...anyone. Please. Really no one here I can ask - spoke to my father on the phone and he was of the thought I should just avoid it but I know if I miss this so very small window I will never forgive myself.

If you can think of anyone whom might have a good answer please don't hesitate to ask them for me.

I've got such a small chance and I don't want to fail my son.

Again, I am sorry if people consider this drama or anything but please forgive me for this.

As long as you love your son you will never fail him.
10 years ago I lost my daughter and it was something I thought I would never recover from. She was born early and with heart defects and I only had a very brief time with her. But I was by her side at the hospital everyday giving her the only thing I could - love.
Like Mouse said talk to your son. I was told this very thing and it helped me through the grieving process.
I know these are just words from some stranger but I hope it helps in some way. My throughts and prayers are with you and yours.

[vicious x]

I am deeply sorry, my heart and prayers are with you and your family Rokk.

if I had a limited time with my Children, I would spend the time hugging them. holding them, telling them how much I love them. your touch and voice will will comfort your son.

once again your family will be in my prayers.

[vicious x]

I wish there was more that we can do,....

[Space Jawa]

Again, I am sorry if people consider this drama or anything but please forgive me for this.

I'd say this is hardly "Drama or anything" at all.

It's a real life situation that's hitting you where it hurts. I think that what you're doing is the natural response - letting people know what's going on because you just need someone to talk to and listen to your problems. That you actually have people here who are this willing to listen and wanting to do what they can to help is that much better.

So you really shouldn't feel a need to apologize at all. Let it flow out, man. Let it out.

And may God be with you and your family in this difficult, trying time.

[Silver Lantern]

If someone can send me Rokk's email I would appreciate it. I just have some thoughts and suggestions I wanted to share with him.

[Quebbster]

Sorry to continue to be a downer but I've a serious question with which I need help as it's one of the toughest things to hit (this in a day where I have had to simultaneously begin preparations for the birth & baptism and then the "dispensation of the deceased").

They (the hospital) told me they would take care of moldings of the hands and feet...little clip of the hair..that stuff (which I know sounds horribly bizarre for those not walking this path). They told me though to think about what - if anything - I would like to do with my son for that way too brief time he will be with us. And that just shot my thought process...I feel like I should have a good answer and I've...nothing beyond "love him".

So I hate to ask this - I'm not a "beggar", despite recents - but I need help. If you had only a little time ever with your child what would you do? I know there are parent out there who may be more tuned but...anyone. Please. Really no one here I can ask - spoke to my father on the phone and he was of the thought I should just avoid it but I know if I miss this so very small window I will never forgive myself.

If you can think of anyone whom might have a good answer please don't hesitate to ask them for me.

I've got such a small chance and I don't want to fail my son.

Again, I am sorry if people consider this drama or anything but please forgive me for this.

Quite honestly I think you hit the nail on the head with your answer. Your love is what the boy will need - it's a basal need that no one else can fill. Make sure that he feels good in the small amount of time you get together - it's really all you can do.

[KO Bossy]

If you're allowed to, I'd just hold him. That's probably what I would do if I had kids. Just having him in your arms, it'll help both of you. For him, it'll show that even in his brief time in the world, he was loved beyond anything he could hope to comprehend. For you, it's a chance to physically interact with a human being, your son, that you've helped bring into this world. It'll give you the best chance to bond. I think that when this all ends, whenever you're sad, you'll still remember the feeling of that little head on your shoulder. You'll remember that even though you could only spend a small amount of time together, it was spent in the most loving way possible. And if it were me, that's a feeling that I'd never forget...That's something truly special.

Rokk, I gotta make a confession. Even though I am "Catholic", I'm not practicing. As a matter of fact, I have my own issues with the whole God thing. But in a time like this, I'm putting aside my issues with whatever higher power exists out there because this is way more important. I'll say some prayers tonight for you, my friend. I don't know what good it'll do, but at least know that you're in my, and everyone else's, thoughts.

We're all pulling for you.

[sstralkowski]

I think that all forms of sentient life can feel love to a certain extent. At the risk of sounding like a Green Lantern comic, love is like an aura. It surrounds you and encapsulated those near you. I remember feeling it from my parents even when they didn't say a word, and I can see that my kids feel it too. I'd say that talking to him and touching him are important, but even if those things don't pan out, be there. Be close. Be open. And let him feel your love.

[charlesx]

My heart is breaking from reading everything that you are going through, Rokk.

A very close friend of mine and his wife had to got through a similar situation during December 2009. She was carrying twins which came early at 25 weeks. One of the twins did not make it. What helped them deal with the loss was to spend some time alone with their baby, hold her, and make their farewells as lovingly as they could. The other twin survived, though she had to spend months in the NICU. This whole ordeal affected me greatly because the couple are dear friends of ours, practically family, and because their living baby daughter was named after me. Her name is Charlotte.

I can't imagine the grief of losing a child, especially under these circumstances. I am at a loss for words.

My family and I will continue keeping you in our prayers in the days and months to come.

[Truffle Shuffle]

I don't know that any of us who have never experienced this type of loss have ever really comprehended what it is actually like, to live it. I imagine some thoughts that people might have are, well, it isn't really that huge a deal. You haven't really had time to fall in love with your child; felt it's presence in your life. So the loss won't be as huge as say, someone who's lived some time with their child and then lost them. But what you've shared really shines a light on the realities of this type of situation, and I know from this day forward I will be a better friend to those around me for you having shared. I will never undervalue or shrug off the realities of a lost life, no matter how fleeting it was. Once again you have touched and changed a person for the better, even through your time of need.

Do not feel shame or regret for having shared your pain. Turns out you actually are human, and not just that Rokk, after all.

[kontrol]

Call him by his name, hold him (if possible) and share your favorite song with him. I know you're a Beatles fan and would want to share that magic with him. As a fellow music lover (albeit different genres), I think that sharing that part of you with him means so much. Music sung by the parents, even offkey, is incredibly soothing for babies.

[Immortal_Raven]

Just hold him and talk to him. Little children, even the littlest children, know their parents' touch. It's something I can't describe, but I've seen it to be true. Almost every little baby I've seen has a contentedness from being held by their parents, a contentedness that a nurse or an aunt or uncle can't match.

So hold him and talk to him. Let him know that you're his dad and your wife is his mom. And even with his short time, he will know that he was, is, and will always be loved.

There is no shame is asking for prayers Rokk. This is not drama, this is not a conjured, artificial set of emotions that someone dreamt up. This is real, and I'm so sorry that it is. I'm still praying for you. God's speed and mercy be on you.

[Rokk_Krinn]

Call him by his name, hold him (if possible) and share your favorite song with him. I know you're a Beatles fan and would want to share that magic with him. As a fellow music lover (albeit different genres), I think that sharing that part of you with him means so much. Music sung by the parents, even offkey, is incredibly soothing for babies.

First, thank you everyone for both the kind words and the reassurances. While there was never any doubt I am going to hold and talk to and love him as long as he's here - and long after (I know myself well enough to know that I will "read books to him at night" or play the guitar for him, even though he won't physically be around) - I had an odd sort of concern that there was more I should do like make sure to have a tiny stuffed animal or a children's tale ready for him.

It's a funny thing about the music though. Just last night I was thinking of something rather unusual. Back on Christmas Eve some of Kristen's friends brought her by some presents. They also knew that while I had made sure - yeah, me and contingencies - to have brought up some of her Christmas presents I obviously hadn't packed any for me. So while they were shopping they came across a little handcrank music box that plays "Yellow Submarine" and bought it for me. It surprised them as they weren't at the sort of store which carried such things and no other one could be found - guess even pricing at checkout ended up "finagling" because the store didn't recognize it or have it inventoried. So, well, we just figured someone had purchased it at another store and then left it behind accidentally (it was still brand new condition). Thought nothing more of it until last night when - and please I know some of you will realize this is illogical and my brain is just trying to comfort itself, but allow me my brief illusion - I realized the music box wasn't left there for me but my son.

Thank you again for everything. I am not one who likes asking for things or laying such matters on others - despite what Truff assures me about being only human I cringe at the idea, I guess and, frankly, I'm used to looking after others, even on here, and feel selfish for these posts but I won't lie and say this hasn't been of help, especially this last 24 hours.

(I guess I should also forewarn that because this is an induced delivery - especially a very premature one, thus requiring more effort - it can take even longer than a normal one. Kristen is in absolute physical and mental misery so I again ask for her to be foremost in your thoughts of the situation. This is especially rotten as even after the child is gone, she's still not out of the woods.)

[Quebbster]

Thank you again for everything. I am not one who likes asking for things or laying such matters on others - despite what Truff assures me about being only human I cringe at the idea, I guess and, frankly, I'm used to looking after others, even on here, and feel selfish for these posts but I won't lie and say this hasn't been of help, especially this last 24 hours.
This thread alone should be proof that we are here for you and want to know what happens. Just look at how many people have posted here, and how many have viewed the thread - 900 views is a lot.
Bottom line: Everyone who looks at this thread and posts here wants to know what is happening, and more importantly, what we can do to help lessen your burden. Everyone needs support at one time or another.

[Truffle Shuffle]

I cannot begin to imagine what she's going through. It is heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you both.

[hail_eris]

(I guess I should also forewarn that because this is an induced delivery - especially a very premature one, thus requiring more effort - it can take even longer than a normal one. Kristen is in absolute physical and mental misery so I again ask for her to be foremost in your thoughts of the situation. This is especially rotten as even after the child is gone, she's still not out of the woods.)
My advice for you would be to try to share whatever time you have with both of them. The delivery room is going to be a maze of sterile fields and gloved hands doing all manner of things. She won't really remember the pushing or the effort (hormones will take care of that), but she'll never forget the moments after he's born. If you've got any special songs you've been singing to him throughout the pregnancy, that would be the time to share them.

[Silver Lantern]

God Rokk, this is one of the most heart breaking things I have ever read in my life. Just reading your posts on this tread makes my throat contract and my eyes water. Please don't get defensive or think that anyone here would ever dare to judge you because what you are going through right now has to be one of the most taxing and devastating things that anyone has ever been through.

Regarding the music box, I think we can all agree that if there is a divine creator he/she works in mysterious ways. My wife has a very strong faith and she always says that miracles happen ever day. You may want to have the music box with your there just in case, but I know that once you have that baby with you, you won't want to do anything but hold him or distract you from the short time you have together.

[Truffle Shuffle]

Things seem to have gone a little faster than expected (edit: though thinking about it, it was still long having started last night, yet, not as long as it could have been). I suppose that was a very, very small reprieve for Kristen. Hoping for her speedy recovery now.

Mourn, and let us do what we can to help mend your heart. *holds tight*

Please flood Joe with your love.

[charlesx]

Things seem to have gone a little faster than expected. I suppose that was a very, very small reprieve for Kristen. Hoping for her speedy recovery now.

Mourn, and let us do what we can to help mend your heart. *holds tight*

Truff, does this means that the delivery is complete?

I will keep Rokk, his wife, and their baby in my thoughts all throughout the rest of the week - and beyond.

[Truffle Shuffle]

Yes.

filler

[kontrol]

Truff, does this means that the delivery is complete?

I will keep Rokk, his wife, and their baby in my thoughts all throughout the rest of the week - and beyond.
I suspect yes.

[charlesx]

Yes.

filler

Understood, and thanks.

[Truffle Shuffle]

Rokk wanted to relay an update, but he doesn't have much time and, well, as I've mentioned elsewhere, he's having a hard day today. The update:

"Kristen is stable enough that being they can't do anyting too much for her - nothing in-patient at least - until the 20th (she's had too much toxin in her system and they need to wait that long for her safety) they are going to allow her out to get some rest at home. They feel that is more conducive than the hospital (and, I suspect, frees up a bed if there's nothing majour they can do beyond monitoring and pharm-stabilizing)."

[Wade Wilson]

Well, that's good that they feel she is good enough to go home for now :)

[readyeddy?]

I don't hang out on these mafia threads at all so I needed notification that this was going on.
I'm very sorry to hear about what your going through. I have no problem saying prayers though I've felt I was amazingly inept at the process.

[booleyb]

Some promising news. Take comfort in the home surroundings.

[Morpheousdr3am3r]

I'm so sorry Rokk, as little as that may actually offer. I have no possible way to understand what you're going through, and wish to offer anything and everything I can to help bolster your strength. You and your family are in the prayers of me and my family. I also greatly understand how you feel on reaching out like this, and as it's been said several times already it's more than warranted. Nothing helps more than the support of your friends, even over the internet. We're all here for you my friend, for what ever you may need.

[Truffle Shuffle]

For those of you who have placed candles in your avatars, I would request that you leave them there until at least the 18th, which is the day of his son's funeral.

As a quick update, Kristen is still struggling to recover and get things under control. It was thought that she might have to go back to the hospital before they were hoping, however as of this moment, she is still at home. She could still use our positive thoughts and prayers.

[Melkhor]

She's got both from me, for whatever little it might be worth.

[lensnart]

I don't visit this part of the realms often but have had the good fortune of crossing paths with Rokk many times on this site.

Stopping by here tonight and reading this thread I am heartbroken to read what your family has gone through and continues to deal with.

Please know that my thoughts are with you both.

[normalview]

I missed seeing this before since I don't spend much time in this particular sub-forum.

My deepest sympathies, Rokk. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

[tyroman]

thanks for the updates, Truffle.

[Truffle Shuffle]

Joe has been wanting to stop by to express his appreciation for everyone's support, but he's been rather busy dealing with funeral arrangements, which unfortunately, have not been going too well. Today he was informed that the coffin he had picked out would not work and had to argue with the director about finding an acceptable replacement. Just days before the funeral. It seems to be one hardship after the other for this poor man.

But he sincerely appreciates all the support and prayers.

[JRS4]

I just found out about this today.

Rokk, I am so sorry for your loss and for the ordeal that you are going through. I pray for your wifes recovery and that the precious little time you had with your son will be able to be remembered brightly.

I hope you don't mind but I would like to put your family on our prayer chain at church. The power of God's people focused in prayer is a powerful thing.

[tyroman]

any updates on rokk's wife, kristen? she still in trouble or stable and getting better?

[Truffle Shuffle]

They're still working out her meds. Her labs haven't been great. At one point worse than before. It's going to be a long, difficult road. Either she will respond to things and improve and regain a somewhat normal life, or things can continue to go wrong in which case it will continue to be a struggle. I'll let Joe give details if he so desires and if he ever gets around to stopping by again. I'm sure he'll be back at some point, but obviously and understandably the Realms are not top on his mind right now.

I tried talking him into joining a game, as a distraction, but I guess he wasn't up for it.

[tyroman]

thanks, Truffles, i'll keep my candle avatar for a while longer then. :( hope, things are getting for you.

[Rokk_Krinn]

So, figured it was time I came back and updated folks and checked in on everyone. Looks like Truff covered most of it pretty well, though.

I do want to say "Thank you" to everyone during all of this. I know there are a lot of people whom I need to call back or write and I'm sorry/ashamed it has taken this long. I've just been...swamped (and I should probably let people know I chose to take an official Leave of Absence from medical life - other than consulting - because splitting between that, my family businesses and my wife's health was too much of a division...you don't want to know my current "daily routine/schedule"...and that does mean I'll still probably be a bit less active around here).

Again, though, thank you...and please forgive me if I don't get right back to you even though I'm "back".

[DarqFeonix]

Welcome back, J. Don't for a second think you need to apologize. Not a second. Hope your days get a little bit better.

[sstralkowski]

So, figured it was time I came back and updated folks and checked in on everyone. Looks like Truff covered most of it pretty well, though.

I do want to say "Thank you" to everyone during all of this. I know there are a lot of people whom I need to call back or write and I'm sorry/ashamed it has taken this long. I've just been...swamped (and I should probably let people know I chose to take an official Leave of Absence from medical life - other than consulting - because splitting between that, my family businesses and my wife's health was too much of a division...you don't want to know my current "daily routine/schedule"...and that does mean I'll still probably be a bit less active around here).

Again, though, thank you...and please forgive me if I don't get right back to you even though I'm "back".


Welcome back, man. We're still keeping you in our thoughts.

[Immortal_Raven]

Yeah, welcome back. No need to apologize for being a stand-up guy for your family. Just glad to hear from you.

[Quebbster]

It's good to see you back here. Hope everything works out.

[Thawmus]

So, figured it was time I came back and updated folks and checked in on everyone. Looks like Truff covered most of it pretty well, though.

I do want to say "Thank you" to everyone during all of this. I know there are a lot of people whom I need to call back or write and I'm sorry/ashamed it has taken this long. I've just been...swamped (and I should probably let people know I chose to take an official Leave of Absence from medical life - other than consulting - because splitting between that, my family businesses and my wife's health was too much of a division...you don't want to know my current "daily routine/schedule"...and that does mean I'll still probably be a bit less active around here).

Again, though, thank you...and please forgive me if I don't get right back to you even though I'm "back".

Don't worry about us, man. I just hope everything for you and your wife gets to a state of "almost normal" sometime soon.

I still don't really understand the actual problem Kristen is having, but it sounded incredibly serious, so I'm thankful that her recovery is still up in the air, rather than what sounded hopeless.

Still in my prayers.

[PaxZRake]

Miss ya Joe.

[Rokk_Krinn]

The delivery room is going to be a maze of sterile fields and gloved hands doing all manner of things. She won't really remember the pushing or the effort (hormones will take care of that), but she'll never forget the moments after he's born.

Oddly, it was quite the opposite, in some ways (re: the delivery room). As you know I've delivered so many babies I've lost track...and this was one of the least "maze" of delivery rooms in which I've ever been. Technically I was the only physician there (obviously not doing things - we had a nurse practitioner and an RN that was assigned to just us) as the on-call was unable to attend (long story). I very much wish it had been a normal delivery room chaos as it maybe would've made it less "surreal" but, in the end, I was happy for what we did have.

Thank you - and everyone else - for the advice/thoughts.

[Quebbster]

I still don't really understand the actual problem Kristen is having, but it sounded incredibly serious, so I'm thankful that her recovery is still up in the air, rather than what sounded hopeless.
I understand enough to know that it is in fact incredibly serious.

[Thawmus]

I understand enough to know that it is in fact incredibly serious.

Well, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was doubting that. More that my understanding of medicine and ailments is rather awful.

[Rokk_Krinn]

Well, I told her nephrologist today that I was going to start calling it "Schlessinger's Cat" (instead of Schroedinger's) because he told her that "Your kidneys are either healed or dead and we consider them as "both" until we look at them...which we can't do for a few more months." :p

Terrible as it sounds, her kidneys are one of the least concerns (albeit a very large one) as even if, say, she could get and retain a transplant, it doesn't get rid of the disease which will just start attacking new parts. Honestly, treatment hasn't been going as well as hoped.

[Thawmus]

Well, I told her nephrologist today that I was going to start calling it "Schlessinger's Cat" (instead of Schroedinger's) because he told her that "Your kidneys are either healed or dead and we consider them as "both" until we look at them...which we can't do for a few more months." :p

Terrible as it sounds, her kidneys are one of the least concerns (albeit a very large one) as even if, say, she could get and retain a transplant, it doesn't get rid of the disease which will just start attacking new parts. Honestly, treatment hasn't been going as well as hoped.

But better than feared, right?

Trying to look at the positive.

[get_1]

Happy Birthday, Joe. :classic:

[Rokk_Krinn]

Happy Birthday, Joe. :classic:

Thank you...though, uhm, it's not my birthday. :)

(But as long as you're around again there're a few things I've been meaning to catch-up with you on...so no disappearing again!)

[get_1]

uh...Happy Slightly Early Birthday!

:noid:

[Morpheousdr3am3r]

Glad to hear from you again Joe, you and your family will continue to be in my prayers. I look forward to having you around the realms again, no matter how limited it may be.