View Full Version : The Truth about Kalel21 and Thawmus
It is frickin' cold outside.
It has caused me to attempt to grow a beard.
Try using a magic marker to paint one on.
And make sure that you keep it as a goatee so that you can be your own evil self from the Mirror Universe.
:p
Oh no.....
Could this be the moment in time upon which I discover my powers to alter the timestream, and then go back in time to attempt to kill myself???
Is this the day that I cease to be the Alpha Thawmus? Or is this when I flip a coin, become two Thawmuses, and only one of us goes back in time to be killed by his past-self?
Wait, that last bit sounded good. I should flip a coin.
WHERE ARE ALL OF MY COINS????
I'll bet my past self spent them all! Well I'll teach him, I'm going to go back in time and kill him!
*vanishes*
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the true and shocking tale behind the secret origin of Kalel21. We can now disclose that Kalel21 is, in fact, Thawmus' future evil self from a Mirror Universe where the space/time continuum will experience a rift in its transdimensional molecular matrix, resulting in a crisis of infinite Thawmuses. You read it here first.
:cheeky:
It all makes sense now.
The constant threat of Kalel21.
His terrible writing ability.
His rise to Hegemony.
His really awful beard!
I think I'm going to go cry in the corner for a bit.
charlesx
01/12/2011, 10:39
I think I'm going to go cry in the corner for a bit.
Sorry, Thawmus, but people have a constitutional right to know these things.
On the bright side, it is your birthday today - so happy infinite 40th!!!:cool:
Always look on the bright side of life.
:cheeky:
Sorry, Thawmus, but people have a constitutional right to know these things.
On the bright side, it is your birthday today - so happy infinite 40th!!!:cool:
Always look on the bright side of life.
:cheeky:
What bright side? That I will eventually go back to Kalel's origin point and become him? Why did I stop there? Why was that the end of my time traveling?
Why is there a lion in my office, staring at me????
Gah....his life is bleeding over into mine already. Am I the Alpha Thawmus, or am I the Alpha Kalel21?
Or am I neither? Am I on a closed loop? Did my incessant coin flipping as a child cause me to be a doomed Thawmus? Or am I the only one that lived?
Space Jawa
01/12/2011, 10:49
What bright side? That I will eventually go back to Kalel's origin point and become him? Why did I stop there? Why was that the end of my time traveling?
Why is there a lion in my office, staring at me????
Gah....his life is bleeding over into mine already. Am I the Alpha Thawmus, or am I the Alpha Kalel21?
Or am I neither? Am I on a closed loop? Did my incessant coin flipping as a child cause me to be a doomed Thawmus? Or am I the only one that lived?
Trick Question! The real answer is...
*BUM, BUM, bum...*
You're both!
charlesx
01/12/2011, 12:33
This is the point where we need CarlosMucha Prime to punch the walls of reality and, by doing so, reset the Infinite Thawmuses.
jackstar7
01/12/2011, 12:47
No no! It'd be Thawmus Prime goaded on by Earth-3 Carlos!
charlesx
01/12/2011, 12:59
No no! It'd be Thawmus Prime goaded on by Earth-3 Carlos!
But Earth-3 was destroyed by the Anti-matter Wave at the beginning of the Crisis of Infinite Thawmii!!! How the heck did E-3 CarlosMucha survive, unless he secretly was Alexander Luthor's love child with Yolanda Montez (the new Wildcat)?? Jack, I with Earth-3 gone, there must be another viable option.
But Earth-3 was destroyed by the Anti-matter Wave at the beginning of the Crisis of Infinite Thawmii!!! How the heck did E-3 CarlosMucha survive, unless he secretly was Alexander Luthor's love child with Yolanda Montez (the new Wildcat)?? Jack, I with Earth-3 gone, there must be another viable option.
Thawmus Prime and Earth-3 Carlos just sat in a pocket universe, most likely.
I'll bet Thawmus Prime doesn't have a beard, too.
That factors into things somehow. I'll get back to you on that.
Ouchmaker
01/12/2011, 14:12
Thawmus Prime and Earth-3 Carlos just sat in a pocket universe, most likely.
I'll bet Thawmus Prime doesn't have a beard, too.
That factors into things somehow. I'll get back to you on that.
Oh please, Thawmus Prime is a whiny crybaby who only has power when he's DMing a D&D game that I...... have heard things about.
Wealthily yours, JackAssterson
Oh please, Thawmus Prime is a whiny crybaby who only has power when he's DMing a D&D game that I...... have heard things about.
Wealthily yours, JackAssterson
Jack! How dare you say such things about me! I am going to PM you immediately and tell you how much I am irritated by this horrendous slander!
PsychoHippie
01/12/2011, 21:06
Hi guys! What's new?
(reads)
:):nervous::surprised:eek::confused:
:noid::rolleyes:
(backs slowly and silently out of the thread...)
BudPalmer
01/12/2011, 21:11
I though this was going to be about an evil beard. Kinda like that Tick episode (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMZxm-EisrQ).
charlesx
01/14/2011, 14:25
Has anyone noticed that any time that an evil beard is mentioned BudPalmer shows up????
How does Bud factor into this earth shattering scenario (other than being both an imaginary person and a Skrull?) :laugh:
I sense Kalel21's nefarious and malevolent hand behind this whole mess.
eternalrage
01/15/2011, 06:41
How does Bud factor into this earth shattering scenario (other than being both an imaginary person and a Skrull?) :laugh:
He can't be imaginary. That would shatter the cosmos.
I've talked to him, charlesx.
A skrull I can understand.:classic:
BudPalmer
01/15/2011, 08:11
He can't be imaginary. That would shatter the cosmos.
I've talked to him, charlesx.
A skrull I can understand.:classic:
Puh-leeze! Charles has met me. He shook my hand and cursed me as I dropped a dollar on his table causing him to re-roll at clix for the cure.
Here's video of me! (http://sharing.theflip.com/session/ae15ab8918432efed1f8c0538cc7c64e/video/27644961) No one cans tell me I don't exist!
eternalrage
01/15/2011, 08:31
Puh-leeze! Charles has met me. He shook my hand and cursed me as I dropped a dollar on his table causing him to re-roll at clix for the cure.
Here's video of me! (http://sharing.theflip.com/session/ae15ab8918432efed1f8c0538cc7c64e/video/27644961) No one cans tell me I don't exist!
It appears that good times were had by all.
That settles it. A Skrull. Maybe, even a Super-Skrull.
BudPalmer
01/15/2011, 08:45
It appears that good times were had by all.
That settles it. A Skrull. Maybe, even a Super-Skrull.
There's no way I would have lost that game if I were a Super Skrull! ;)Then I suppose I could have just done it to throw you off.
Everyone is panicking over nothing.
Thawmus is an android I built in my lab, gone rogue due to a programming glitch.
I'm working on getting the self-destruct button up and running. It'll all work out soon.
Everyone is panicking over nothing.
Thawmus is an android I built in my lab, gone rogue due to a programming glitch.
I'm working on getting the self-destruct button up and running. It'll all work out soon.
Development idea: Locate your own self-destruct button.
Then you will know where mine should be.
Development idea: Locate your own self-destruct button.
Then you will know where mine should be.
Oh, please. My last sixteen rogue and insane prototype androids tried the same trick. If it didn't work then, it's not gonna work now.
Oh, please. My last sixteen rogue and insane prototype androids tried the same trick. If it didn't work then, it's not gonna work now.
But none of them had beards.
Look, I don't want to hear any back-talk from you. I have enough to deal with what with my therapist talking about repressed memories of another beardless life, time-travel accidents and dimensional shifts.
Oh, and by the way, BudPalmer isn't a Skrull. He's a human/white martian hybrid produced during one of my time-traveling jaunts. His mother is a White Martian named Nuuallaweevaieasa. His father is m.... m... m....
NO!!! I CAN'T SAY IT!!!!! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!!!!!
But none of them had beards.
The adventures of infinite Thawmii: http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-types/
If you actually grew all of those, though, I'm not sure how you'd manage to remember which one was the evil one (which may actually be the plan all along).
BudPalmer
01/18/2011, 11:09
You're still alive?
Look, I don't want to hear any back-talk from you. I have enough to deal with what with my therapist talking about repressed memories of another beardless life, time-travel accidents and dimensional shifts.
I hate that therapist. That's why we killed them. In the past. Well, our future, but also our past. Time travel.
The adventures of infinite Thawmii: http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-types/
If you actually grew all of those, though, I'm not sure how you'd manage to remember which one was the evil one (which may actually be the plan all along).
It's actually all of them. Clean-shaven Thawmus is the only good guy, and he's still a jerk. Just not a homicidal jerk.
Okay, the truth is this:
I was evil in the past--back when I didn't have a beard and used the identity "Thawmus." Then I grew the beard and traveled back in time to stop my earlier evil self.
So I'M the good guy and THAWMUS is the bad guy. Everyone got that straight? All Thawmus' from all times and dimensions are bad guys. All Kalel21s from all times and dimensions are good guys.
It's not really that hard to keep track of, people. :devious:
Then I grew the beard and traveled back in time to stop my earlier evil self.
Clearly false. Kirk and Spock taught us that beard/goatee = evil, alternate universe version.
Always trust Shatner.
Clearly false. Kirk and Spock taught us that beard/goatee = evil, alternate universe version.
Always trust Shatner.
A common misconception. It's ONLY the goatee that marks you as evil. A regular beard is good.
Remember, Riker had a beard. And ST:TNG didn't get halfway decent until he grew it.
Duh.
A common misconception. It's ONLY the goatee that marks you as evil. A regular beard is good.
Remember, Riker had a beard. And ST:TNG didn't get halfway decent until he grew it.
Duh.
That is a decent point, I suppose. And ST:DS9 got better after Sisko grew his goatee ...
However, those were both examples of people in the regular timestream or universe growing a beard or goatee, not someone from an alternate timestream or mirror universe with one.
charlesx
01/18/2011, 11:47
A common misconception. It's ONLY the goatee that marks you as evil. A regular beard is good.
Remember, Riker had a beard. And ST:TNG didn't get halfway decent until he grew it.
Duh.
AHA! You have just disproved your point - the bearded Riker was actually his evil twin, Thomas Riker, who was created as a result of a transporter accident and who was also a member of the Maquis.
Clearly, beards and goatees = evil.
QED
:cheeky:
AHA! You have just disproved your point - the bearded Riker was actually his evil twin, Thomas Riker, who was created as a result of a transporter accident and who was also a member of the Maquis.
Clearly, beards and goatees = evil.
QED
:cheeky:
Both Rikers had beards!!! And, besides, Thomas Riker was more of just a complete jerk than actually evil.
AHA! You have just disproved your point - the bearded Riker was actually his evil twin, Thomas Riker, who was created as a result of a transporter accident and who was also a member of the Maquis.
Clearly, beards and goatees = evil.
QED
:cheeky:
Didn't Thomas eventually trim the beard to just a goatee, though?
charlesx
01/18/2011, 11:54
Both Rikers had beards!!! And, besides, Thomas Riker was more of just a complete jerk than actually evil.
Stop trying to defend Tom Riker - he stole the Defiant. He was a terrorist. Terrorism = evil.
(Though in your parallel mirror universe, you probably have that backwards, also. :p)
charlesx
01/18/2011, 11:55
Didn't Thomas eventually trim the beard to just a goatee, though?
Facial hair is as facial hair does. Don't let Kalel21 get off on a technicality.
:laugh:
You Earthlings are so quaint--what with your primitive ideas of "good" and "evil."
I think I'll steal the Defiant and drop a barrage of Quantum torpedoes on you all. Watch you scurry around in panic like the ants you all obviously are.
Not that that makes me evil or anything. Thawmus is the evil one. Trust me on that.
Since I'm only 2.5 weeks into growing my beard, I'm going to call it a not-beard for the time being, and determine that it is not currently making me evil yet.
It's trying. Oh my is it trying. This morning I almost kicked a baby.
Almost.
I restrained, and gave it to a homeless man for food instead.
Because I'm a good person.
Space Jawa
01/18/2011, 13:03
Not that that makes me evil or anything. Thawmus is the evil one. Trust me on that.
Says the evil Kalel threatening to shoot us with high-powered explosives. :rolleyes:
Says the evil Kalel threatening to shoot us with high-powered explosives. :rolleyes:
However, he doesn't feed babies to homeless people.
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