CynthiaCM
05/14/2003, 14:25
Welcome once again to the Bottom of the Barrel, the column where I stat out some of the biggest yo-yos ever to show their mugs on a comicbook page.
Currently, I'm creating members of the Snack Cake Syndicate. So far, this collection of dolts consists of
The Hungry Battleaxe
Photoman
Hotshot
The Roller Disco Devils (with their leader "Boogie Oogie" McGee)
Now, look carefully at the roster in progress. Go ahead, think about what's missing.
cue up the Jeopardy music
Give up? Here's what you should've said: "What is a female."
Yep, the SCS has been completely void of the feminine touch, so to speak. Sure, Photoman may look kinda girlie and "Boogie Oogie" McGee's shirt does have cute lil' flowers, but there are no women. As of now, this is not the case!
Enter June Jitsu, the evil mistress of the martial arts! Despite her dopey name, this babe can kick some butt. Heck, she almost kicked Spidey's butt in this advertisement (http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess/spidman5.htm).
June Jitsu (Rookie)
Cost: 15
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 7, 6, 5, 4
Attack:
9, 8, 8, 7, 6
Defense:
15, 14, 14, 13, 12
Damage:
1, 1, 1, 1, 1
June Jitsu (Experienced)
Cost: 20
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 4
Attack:
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 6
Defense:
15, 15, 14, 13, 12, 12
Damage:
2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1
June Jitsu (Veteran)
Cost: 33
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 4
Attack:
10, 9, 9, 7, 6, 6
Defense:
16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 12
Damage:
2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1
Designer's Notes
She might have a silly gimmick, but I really wanted to make June Jitsu kind of tough. She really had Spider-Man on the ropes until he tossed her a couple Twinkies, so she must have been pretty competent.
The Rookie version has two slots of Flurry to show how fast she was smackin' the webhead. Unfortunately, with only 1 damage per hit, that may not do her much good against most superheroes and villains. Still, it can be handy. At a low cost of 15, it's hard to complain.
The Experienced version gets rid of one slot of Flurry, but her damage goes up in her first two slots. Even though she can't use Flurry on her second click, her punches and kicks are going to sting more! Plus, her initial Attack rating bumps up to 10 and she gains a slot of Super Senses, making her quite a handful in combat.
With the Veteran version, her stats go up somewhat, but the main boost is the addition of Perplex on her first slot. This adds a great deal of versatility to Ms. Jitsu and makes her a very team oriented fig.
Another edition of Bottom of the Barrel comes to a damp-eyed end. But worry not, for I'll return soon with plenty more ####py villains for your viewing pleasure. Or displeasure. Whatever's the case, just show back up and check out the next installment when we go to court with....The Legal Eagle!
Currently, I'm creating members of the Snack Cake Syndicate. So far, this collection of dolts consists of
The Hungry Battleaxe
Photoman
Hotshot
The Roller Disco Devils (with their leader "Boogie Oogie" McGee)
Now, look carefully at the roster in progress. Go ahead, think about what's missing.
cue up the Jeopardy music
Give up? Here's what you should've said: "What is a female."
Yep, the SCS has been completely void of the feminine touch, so to speak. Sure, Photoman may look kinda girlie and "Boogie Oogie" McGee's shirt does have cute lil' flowers, but there are no women. As of now, this is not the case!
Enter June Jitsu, the evil mistress of the martial arts! Despite her dopey name, this babe can kick some butt. Heck, she almost kicked Spidey's butt in this advertisement (http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess/spidman5.htm).
June Jitsu (Rookie)
Cost: 15
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 7, 6, 5, 4
Attack:
9, 8, 8, 7, 6
Defense:
15, 14, 14, 13, 12
Damage:
1, 1, 1, 1, 1
June Jitsu (Experienced)
Cost: 20
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 4
Attack:
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 6
Defense:
15, 15, 14, 13, 12, 12
Damage:
2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1
June Jitsu (Veteran)
Cost: 33
Move: Normal
Team: The Snack Cake Syndicate
Range: 0
Shots: 1
Speed:
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 4
Attack:
10, 9, 9, 7, 6, 6
Defense:
16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 12
Damage:
2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1
Designer's Notes
She might have a silly gimmick, but I really wanted to make June Jitsu kind of tough. She really had Spider-Man on the ropes until he tossed her a couple Twinkies, so she must have been pretty competent.
The Rookie version has two slots of Flurry to show how fast she was smackin' the webhead. Unfortunately, with only 1 damage per hit, that may not do her much good against most superheroes and villains. Still, it can be handy. At a low cost of 15, it's hard to complain.
The Experienced version gets rid of one slot of Flurry, but her damage goes up in her first two slots. Even though she can't use Flurry on her second click, her punches and kicks are going to sting more! Plus, her initial Attack rating bumps up to 10 and she gains a slot of Super Senses, making her quite a handful in combat.
With the Veteran version, her stats go up somewhat, but the main boost is the addition of Perplex on her first slot. This adds a great deal of versatility to Ms. Jitsu and makes her a very team oriented fig.
Another edition of Bottom of the Barrel comes to a damp-eyed end. But worry not, for I'll return soon with plenty more ####py villains for your viewing pleasure. Or displeasure. Whatever's the case, just show back up and check out the next installment when we go to court with....The Legal Eagle!