freakazoid_x
01/15/2004, 17:32
Superhero Mixer
“Mail Call!” with that cry the entire X-men team came running to the main room of Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. The team usually isn’t this excited over the mail but they were awaiting very special invitations. As the Beast distributed the mail Wolverine was first to announce the good word. “I got one, I got an invitation to the Super Hero annual summer party”. Eventually the mail had worked its way through all the X-men and the all got an invitation… but one. “Where is my invitation mon ami?” Gambit asked Beast. “I’m sure it just got lost in the mail” Beast replied. Rogue then spoke up. “Don’t worry sugah you can be my date.” Gambit breathed a sigh of relief that he was able to go.
Later that month the X-men went to the party. There were all kinds of food and beverages and the people that were in attendance! The room was full of superhero greats everyone from Superman to Spider-Man was there. Gambit decided that he’d work his way around the room and make small talk with his colleagues. He walked by a circle where the Justice Society of America was talking. “Hey guys” Gambit said to the hero’s of Yester-year. To which they all friendly replied back, but as Gambit walked off Doctor Midnight asked the group “who in the blue hell was that?” Then as Gambit got to the snack table he saw a 7-foot tall woman with the appearance of a goddess. “Wonder Woman” he gasped. Gambit was loyal to his date but he figured that if he needed to make a good impression on anyone in this room it was she. He sucked in his gut, as all guys do right before talking to a woman, and proudly strutted over to meet her.
“Hello Wonder Woman” he said as he held out his hand in friendship. As Wonder Woman took the hand she said, “excuse me, I haven’t had the pleasure, you are?” Gambit replied, “My name is Gambit, I’m a member of the X-men.” WW shot back “Still drawing a blank here, what’s your power?” “I throw kinetically charged playing cards at people” Gambit retorted. The former princess looked confused for a moment and then said “And… then what.” Gambit then said, “then they explode”. Wonder Woman looked at the man stunned for a moment, then thunderous laughter erupted from her lungs. She then hopped up on the table and made an announcement to the group. “Hey guys, this is Gambit, his power is he throws exploding playing cards at people.” The entire room erupted into laughter as Gambit tried to hide in his coat. However he couldn’t hide for long as Captain Marvel and Spawn grabbed him and escorted him to a small side room. “You got to understand” Captain Marvel said, “there is a level of prestige that each hero has to possess and quite frankly, you just don’t have it. But don’t worry we’re putting you in the room of misfit heroes until your date can claim you.”
Back at the party everyone was having a great time. Even the dark heroes were enjoying themselves in the rafters. “Oh great the dark people are on the ceiling again, someone get the stick” The Hulk said. Someone then handed the green giant a stick and he wiggled it around on the ceiling. Batman, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Spawn, Huntress, Nightwing, and Robin all came falling out of the rafters. Superman announced to the group, “All right everyone, it’s good to see you’re all drinking responsibly and choosing designated drivers, flyers, or what-have-you. However I still have to make a run for 10 more party kegs. Who wants to make the run with me? Captain Marvel, Spawn, Hulk, and Thor all went with Superman.
Meanwhile in the room of misfit heroes Gambit was still adjusting to the total darkness. Just then he heard an electric sounding voice saying, “Let me get a light hold on.” With that the room came to light and Gambit could see all the people inside. The voice then said “Oh you must be Gambit”. Gambit turned just in time for the introduction. “My name is Brainiac 5,” he said. “Who are these people?” Gambit asked. Braniac 5 then said, “Oh let me show you around.” Over there sitting on that bench are both of the Green Arrows, Speedy, and Archer Arrowette. Gambit asked, “Why are you guys here?” They all replied simultaneously “We Shoot Arrows.” “Oh” Gambit said “well is there food?” We Shoot Arrows” was all they said back. Brainiac then piped in, “the lights are on but uh there is nobody home. Over on another wall was Supergirl. Gambit asked her “Hey you are strong why are you here?” She then replied, “I slept with Lex Luthor.” Gambit then said “Oh… well I guess anyone can make that mistake once.” Supergirl then said, “I made it several times, sometimes while he was committing crimes. Superman said that my stupidity was a liability.” Gambit then turned to Brainiac and said, “Why are you here mon ami?” Brainiac 5 said that because he was a machine he didn’t care much for parties so he decided to make sure the mentally challenged Superhero’s didn’t try to escape.
Back at the party everything was going well with all the heavy hitters gone. When suddenly the Wall burst open and The General showed up and started shooting stuff. He was blathering on about how getting together for parties like this was a waste of government time and money. Before he could finish The Heroes jumped into the fray. They were putting up a pretty good fight but still Batman decided that more help was required. He ran to the room where the misfit heroes were being held. “Brainiac we’re going to need some help would you please bring the misfit heroes?” Brainiac then decided on it while Batman went back to the fight. When the misfit heroes finally got out there with Brainiac the intoxicated superheroes were all ready beaten. That didn’t stop these second stringers from jumping into it though. Gambit threw some exploding cards while the archers announced “We Shoot Arrows” and then opened fire on the General. Supergirl jumped into the fight but was quickly beat down by The General. Gambit, Brainiac 5, and all four archers stopped to watch Supergirl get pounded on again and again. Eventually they were cheering on The General. The intoxicated heroes all stood up and started cheering for The General to destroy Supergirl. Then the heavy hitters all returned from the beer run and made very quick work of The General. They then saw that it was just Supergirl that he was attacking. Superman then announced, “General for assaulting Supergirl you will be prosecuted the maximum sentence. However most states have lowered it to a 20 dollar fine.”
As the General angrily reached for his checkbook Wonder Woman released a primal scream, ran up to Supergirl, and started kicking her over and over again. The rest of the heroes, not caring about her reasons, joined in. They all kicked for hours and hours and into the morning until, finally, she was dead. Wonder Woman then paid the 20 dollar fine for initially starting the attack.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End
“Mail Call!” with that cry the entire X-men team came running to the main room of Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. The team usually isn’t this excited over the mail but they were awaiting very special invitations. As the Beast distributed the mail Wolverine was first to announce the good word. “I got one, I got an invitation to the Super Hero annual summer party”. Eventually the mail had worked its way through all the X-men and the all got an invitation… but one. “Where is my invitation mon ami?” Gambit asked Beast. “I’m sure it just got lost in the mail” Beast replied. Rogue then spoke up. “Don’t worry sugah you can be my date.” Gambit breathed a sigh of relief that he was able to go.
Later that month the X-men went to the party. There were all kinds of food and beverages and the people that were in attendance! The room was full of superhero greats everyone from Superman to Spider-Man was there. Gambit decided that he’d work his way around the room and make small talk with his colleagues. He walked by a circle where the Justice Society of America was talking. “Hey guys” Gambit said to the hero’s of Yester-year. To which they all friendly replied back, but as Gambit walked off Doctor Midnight asked the group “who in the blue hell was that?” Then as Gambit got to the snack table he saw a 7-foot tall woman with the appearance of a goddess. “Wonder Woman” he gasped. Gambit was loyal to his date but he figured that if he needed to make a good impression on anyone in this room it was she. He sucked in his gut, as all guys do right before talking to a woman, and proudly strutted over to meet her.
“Hello Wonder Woman” he said as he held out his hand in friendship. As Wonder Woman took the hand she said, “excuse me, I haven’t had the pleasure, you are?” Gambit replied, “My name is Gambit, I’m a member of the X-men.” WW shot back “Still drawing a blank here, what’s your power?” “I throw kinetically charged playing cards at people” Gambit retorted. The former princess looked confused for a moment and then said “And… then what.” Gambit then said, “then they explode”. Wonder Woman looked at the man stunned for a moment, then thunderous laughter erupted from her lungs. She then hopped up on the table and made an announcement to the group. “Hey guys, this is Gambit, his power is he throws exploding playing cards at people.” The entire room erupted into laughter as Gambit tried to hide in his coat. However he couldn’t hide for long as Captain Marvel and Spawn grabbed him and escorted him to a small side room. “You got to understand” Captain Marvel said, “there is a level of prestige that each hero has to possess and quite frankly, you just don’t have it. But don’t worry we’re putting you in the room of misfit heroes until your date can claim you.”
Back at the party everyone was having a great time. Even the dark heroes were enjoying themselves in the rafters. “Oh great the dark people are on the ceiling again, someone get the stick” The Hulk said. Someone then handed the green giant a stick and he wiggled it around on the ceiling. Batman, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Spawn, Huntress, Nightwing, and Robin all came falling out of the rafters. Superman announced to the group, “All right everyone, it’s good to see you’re all drinking responsibly and choosing designated drivers, flyers, or what-have-you. However I still have to make a run for 10 more party kegs. Who wants to make the run with me? Captain Marvel, Spawn, Hulk, and Thor all went with Superman.
Meanwhile in the room of misfit heroes Gambit was still adjusting to the total darkness. Just then he heard an electric sounding voice saying, “Let me get a light hold on.” With that the room came to light and Gambit could see all the people inside. The voice then said “Oh you must be Gambit”. Gambit turned just in time for the introduction. “My name is Brainiac 5,” he said. “Who are these people?” Gambit asked. Braniac 5 then said, “Oh let me show you around.” Over there sitting on that bench are both of the Green Arrows, Speedy, and Archer Arrowette. Gambit asked, “Why are you guys here?” They all replied simultaneously “We Shoot Arrows.” “Oh” Gambit said “well is there food?” We Shoot Arrows” was all they said back. Brainiac then piped in, “the lights are on but uh there is nobody home. Over on another wall was Supergirl. Gambit asked her “Hey you are strong why are you here?” She then replied, “I slept with Lex Luthor.” Gambit then said “Oh… well I guess anyone can make that mistake once.” Supergirl then said, “I made it several times, sometimes while he was committing crimes. Superman said that my stupidity was a liability.” Gambit then turned to Brainiac and said, “Why are you here mon ami?” Brainiac 5 said that because he was a machine he didn’t care much for parties so he decided to make sure the mentally challenged Superhero’s didn’t try to escape.
Back at the party everything was going well with all the heavy hitters gone. When suddenly the Wall burst open and The General showed up and started shooting stuff. He was blathering on about how getting together for parties like this was a waste of government time and money. Before he could finish The Heroes jumped into the fray. They were putting up a pretty good fight but still Batman decided that more help was required. He ran to the room where the misfit heroes were being held. “Brainiac we’re going to need some help would you please bring the misfit heroes?” Brainiac then decided on it while Batman went back to the fight. When the misfit heroes finally got out there with Brainiac the intoxicated superheroes were all ready beaten. That didn’t stop these second stringers from jumping into it though. Gambit threw some exploding cards while the archers announced “We Shoot Arrows” and then opened fire on the General. Supergirl jumped into the fight but was quickly beat down by The General. Gambit, Brainiac 5, and all four archers stopped to watch Supergirl get pounded on again and again. Eventually they were cheering on The General. The intoxicated heroes all stood up and started cheering for The General to destroy Supergirl. Then the heavy hitters all returned from the beer run and made very quick work of The General. They then saw that it was just Supergirl that he was attacking. Superman then announced, “General for assaulting Supergirl you will be prosecuted the maximum sentence. However most states have lowered it to a 20 dollar fine.”
As the General angrily reached for his checkbook Wonder Woman released a primal scream, ran up to Supergirl, and started kicking her over and over again. The rest of the heroes, not caring about her reasons, joined in. They all kicked for hours and hours and into the morning until, finally, she was dead. Wonder Woman then paid the 20 dollar fine for initially starting the attack.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End