View Full Version : R.I.P. Nick Fury
doctorfate77
05/12/2004, 20:23
OMG....
I flipped through channels tryin ta find somethin to watch until Smallville starts. Sci-fi channel decided to show Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
WTF!!!!!
If I werent already a DC enthusiast, this movie would drive me to to watch that #### JLA Live Action film on repeat!
BAAAAAAAAAD BAAAAAAAAAAAD BAAAAAAAAAAAAD. there is NOTHING redeeming in this film. I'm a big black gay guy, and i would be a MUUUCH better Nick Fury than David Hasslehoff. Did they intentionally TRY to make this movie ####?
Fury: "*sputter* what have you done...*cough*... to me..."
Viper: "Ive given you... a kiss.... of DEATH!!! BWAAHAHAHAHA!!!"
NO LIE! that is a LINE from the movie. it started off awful and then STILL bottomed out. do NOT watch this movie, blokes. I wouldnt let Hitler see this film.
I need to go watch Van Helsing again to get that bad movie out of my head. Then again, Thomas Jane was shirtless in the Punisher.....
freakazoid_x
05/12/2004, 20:27
It's not the worst movie to come out, it wasn't great but it wasn't as bad as Hulk. I'd watch the Nick Fury movie 9 times rather than having to sit through half of that wretched Hulk movie.
Numb Skrull
05/12/2004, 20:47
How can you compare the Hulk movie with the Nick Fury Movie. NO WAY is the Hulk movie as bad as the Nick Fury one. I try to pretend they never made that movie
Hasselhof stepped in large piles of **** and by some miracle it worked. This is not so for Nick Fury: Agent od S.H.I.E.L.D
I dunno, man. Admittedly, I decided to skip it when I saw who was in it, but I figure if you wouldn't let Hitler see it, it must be REALLY BAD...
what's worse? this or those capt. america movies? *shiver*
If they're going to make another Nick Fury movie I suggest they base it on the Nick Fury in Ultimates and let Samuel Jackson play him.
And Nick Fury was worse than the Hulk movie
the thing that kills me about that movie is how utterly satanic it is. seriously... someone who takes their promises to satan seriously wrote and/or directed that peice of crud. I was on the fence wondering whether I was imagining things or not... then one of the characters shouts out "Six...Six...SIX!!!" then in the end Baron Strucker comes back from hell to make a speech about evil. That movie is a strange peice of work.
Mr. Pilkington
05/14/2004, 01:47
Pity me. I told my TiVo to grab it once, figuring that it would be bad, but it was Derr Hasslehoff, so it would probably be bad to the point of funny. Well, it was mostly just bad.
Now at this point you must be thinking "Okay, so it was bad and you saw it... why do you deserve my pity, Mr. P.?". Well, see, TiVos remember what you record, and to be helpful they try to get you more stuff like it. But there isn't really much like that movie other than itself (no corresponding TV show or sequels). So I thought I would be okay. Not so. About a month and a half went by and Sci-fi decided to air the movie again. My TiVo looked in its little database of my preferences and said "I know! I'll record *this* for him! He *likes* it!!!". So my TiVo recorded it for me again.
At this point I think I've beaten that behavior out of my TiVo, but I still half worry that Nick Fury Agent of Baywatch will appear on my TiVo again some day. *shudder*
The Qwardian
05/14/2004, 03:09
Originally posted by doctorfate77
I wouldnt let Hitler see this film.
interesting fact, Hitler watched "The Great dictator" a film by Charlie Chaplin mocking Hitler. Hitler watched it twice!
Diggergig
05/14/2004, 03:23
People in power are drawn to satire concerning them - the want to see what others view as being their weakness of character.
coyotejack
05/14/2004, 19:00
You realize that after hearing how bad it is, I must see it. I pride myself in the torture of bad comic movies: the old Captain America movies, the newer Cap movie, the 1979 one hour Justice League specials (first was JLA vs. Sinestro, Grundy, etc..., the second was a Roast, yes you read that right), The 70's Dr. Strange movie (try digging that one up!), etc...
I haven't gotten to see a few of them out there yet like the '97 JLA movie, Nick Fury, Human Target, and the Corman Fantastic Four.
Diablo4485
05/14/2004, 19:09
I've seen most of it on Sci-Fi through a couple broken viewings and I didn't think it was that bad. Well, sure, it was BAD, but funny-bad. I think the difference was that I didn't expect it to be that good, so I wasn't let down. I have to say though, the actress who played Viper was a fox. (She also played Sonya in MK: Annihilation, another bad movie. Coincidence? LOL.) The Roger Corman Fantasic 4 was MUCH worse than this. I can deal with Derr Hasselhoff pretending to be an action hero for a couple hours, but not a comical Doctor Doom or a painfully blonde Invisible Girl. Just hain't right.
coyotejack
05/14/2004, 19:27
Kind of like my aversion to the "Italian Composer" Red Skull? ugh...that's just hideous.
There is another comic movie from several years ago that's slipping my mind and it's driving me crazy. I know I forgot to mention the Hulk movies (including one with Thor and one with Daredevil) so those aren't what I'm forgetting. Too many bad movies...so little time!
averykess
05/14/2004, 19:30
You should watch the Corman version of the Fantastic Four or the horrible Dr. Strange movie.
coyotejack
05/14/2004, 19:33
OMG! Someone else who's actually seen Dr. Strange! His fights with Morgana were the height of cheezy effects! :)
I really need to check out Corman's FF though. Any word on if a director is offically scheduled et for the new one?
daedalus25
05/14/2004, 19:46
I remember the Dr. Strange movie, and I remember liking it. You can't call it a bad movie because it doesn't meet today's standards. You have to remember what Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies were like in the 70's! Dr. Strange wasn't that bad considering what they had to work with.
I haven't seen Nick Fury though. Maybe one day I'll get around to it. If it's worse than the Hulk, though, I'll take my time.
coyotejack
05/14/2004, 20:09
Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean it was bad after comparing it to today's standards...it was just plain bad. lol But that's part of it's charm. I could even overlook the fact that they made Doc a Psychiatrist. Hey, at least they didn't just turn him into a moron like they did to Cap!
The Qwardian
05/15/2004, 00:30
Originally posted by averykess
You should watch the Corman version of the Fantastic Four
No one should be subjected to that torture!
Wyldstaar
05/15/2004, 00:54
How about the 70's Spider-Man live action series? I was only six or seven when that came on TV, and I still thought the FX were bad. I watched it anyway, but since I knew they were capable of decent FX due to Battlestar Galactica it was annoying. I didn't realize just how bad the show was until the episodes were compiled into movies and release on video as well as aired as TV movies on UHF channels ten years later.
Fantastic Four is the absolute worst though. Any movie that's SO bad that Marvel would actually buy the movie just to destroy it holds no redeeming value. The only thing worse than the FF movie is the Star Wars Holiday Special.
The costumes in the FF movie were really great, but that was its only redeeming feature. I've never gotten to see the Dr. Strange movie. I'd love to own it on DVD. I love the horrible cheesy movies. It makes me good to be informed enough to complain about them articulatly. I still havn't seen Hulk or Daredevil, but I expect its about time for me to pick them up cheap on DVD and watch them. I just don't want to reward them for bad movie making by giving them my 8.50 at the boxoffice.
the Star wars holiday special boasts the first Star Wars Animation, which is the first Place Boba Fett was seen. he was introduced there and appeared in the sequel; which is why he was such a fan favorite. every cloud has a silver lining, and that Animated short is so good; it would be worth having the Christmas special just to extract it. The costumes in Fantastic Four are like that. the Dr Doom and Thing costumes rocked hardcore.
Eric Rage
05/15/2004, 13:16
Alright, enough w/the "Fantastic Four" bashing. Of course the movie is bad; ALL Roger Corman movies are bad. That's his trademark.
Athough the movie is bad, however, it definitely isn't boring, and I'll forgive a movie for being bad as long as it's entertaining. There's a charm in "FF"s cheesiness and low-tech fx that makes it watchable, whereas "Hulk" is obviously very skillfully written, directed and acted, but is so freakin' slow and tedious that I'd rather gargle Ny-Quil than watch it again.
i must be the only person alive who liked the hulk.
granted i didn't like the hulk vs absorbing nolte fight at the end... but i thought the rest of the movie was good.
AlgertMan
05/15/2004, 13:35
i think daredevil is the worst superhero movie
and yes, i've seen those junk movies all of you are talking about aswell
Manchine
05/15/2004, 13:41
For all you David Fans. Here's a link for you. (http://www.hellonetwork.com/demo/toysclub/video.asp?speed=hook300)
Manchine
05/15/2004, 13:44
PS
Push play and turn up the sound!
The Qwardian
05/16/2004, 01:32
That looked like it had less money put inot it then the wardrobe budget for baywatch.
doctorfate77
05/16/2004, 02:11
Manchine,
I just peed myself....
ROFL!!!
Diggergig
05/16/2004, 02:39
How have you been able to see that FF movie? I thought it had been obliterated.
Eric Rage
05/16/2004, 06:06
Originally posted by Diggergig
How have you been able to see that FF movie? I thought it had been obliterated.
It had, but you can find DVD bootlegs of it at pretty much every con in the world let alone eBay.
coyotejack
05/16/2004, 14:42
Perhaps it was the mellow mood I was in at the time, but I had watched the Hulk and actually enjoyed it. Now, I don't really look at it as a true "comic" movie. To me it was more of a slow drama that happened to have a comic character in it, and I think they could have done without the Absorbing Nolte but I found it interesting.
skeevo666
05/16/2004, 14:50
Originally posted by coyotejack
. . . I had watched the Hulk and actually enjoyed it. Now, I don't really look at it as a true "comic" movie.
That might be the best way to deal with the rapidly-approaching Halle Cat stinker . . .
darius_dax1
05/16/2004, 14:50
I liked the FF movie. I can't remember all of the Nick Fury movie.
There have been mostly bad comic book movies. Not many overall have been entertaining.
Wyldstaar
05/16/2004, 19:45
Originally posted by darius_dax1
I liked the FF movie. I can't remember all of the Nick Fury movie.
There have been mostly bad comic book movies. Not many overall have been entertaining.
Let me get this straight, just so there's no misunderstanding. You LIKED the Fantastic Four movie, yet you think that most comic book movies have been BAD?! FF is one of the worst movies ever made! I'll be the first to admit that there are plenty of stinkers out there of comic book characters, but none of them compare to the horror of the Roger Corman FF disaster.
There have been tons of excellent comic book films-
Blade
X-Men
X2
Spider-Man
The Fifth Element
Road To Perdition
From Hell
Batman
Batman Returns
Superman
Superman 2
The Crow
NickFury15
05/16/2004, 20:08
I actually liked the Fantastic Four movie (Corman). I didn't think it was so bad. Find me another person that looks more like Reed Richards than the guy that played him. Or a chick that looks more like Sue.
darius_dax1
05/16/2004, 22:54
Originally posted by Wyldstaar
Let me get this straight, just so there's no misunderstanding. You LIKED the Fantastic Four movie, yet you think that most comic book movies have been BAD?! FF is one of the worst movies ever made! I'll be the first to admit that there are plenty of stinkers out there of comic book characters, but none of them compare to the horror of the Roger Corman FF disaster. Yep I liked it but think most comic movies are bad. The FF as a comic movie, done on the budget they had with Corman as a director made it a viewable movie.
There have been tons of excellent comic book films-
Blade
X-Men
X2
Spider-Man
The Fifth Element was this a comic book movie???
Road To Perditionwas this a comic book movie???
From Hell
BatmanThis movie was barely good.
Batman ReturnsFF was better than this train wreck
Superman
Superman 2
The Crow
What about:
Tank Girl
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Hellboy
Supergirl
Spawn
WeRVenom
05/16/2004, 23:10
The FF movie is watchable. I'm still looking for the JLA movie on DVD though.
Wyldstaar
05/17/2004, 00:17
The Fifth Element was based on a European comic book that appeared in Heavy Metal magazine here in the states. If you've ever seen the original Heavy Metal movie, the first story is very loosely based on that comic as well. The only bits that remained in the Heavy Metal movie were the mysterious red head and the taxi driver.
Road to Perdition was based on the graphic novel by the same name.
I also forgot American Splendor.
coyotejack
05/17/2004, 03:21
It all boils down to personal choice. Not everyone is going to like everything...it would be pretty boring if that were the case. For me, I personally can't stand the Superman movies...any of them. I found them to be utterly boring while many people love them. My personal favorites include Spiderman, X-Men, Blade, The Crow (1st), and Hellboy. The first MIB was great but the second seemed basically like a bad re-hash of the first.
TheFreak
05/17/2004, 03:53
i can't believe we're forgetting the Generation X movie....it's been awhile since i've seen it, but i remember it being VERY annoying....the guy who played Banshee went WAY overboard with the accent...
but it's been awhile since i've seen it, so maybe i'm remembering it wrong, who knows?
malephoenix
05/17/2004, 04:25
My $.02:
Liked Hulk and Generation X. Go figure. Obviously, yes, they both could've been MUCH better, but I just got along fine with them.
And, for those of you who want more info (and some of the more entertaining - read: bad - photos I've seen in some time!) on some of the above movies, check out this link. You'll probably lose your appetite, though, so hope you've already eaten.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/f41.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.lethalwrestling.com/le/opinions/news_content.php%3FfileName%3D16&h=279&w=480&sz=30&tbnid=0tXCbYc2Z8EJ:&tbnh=73&tbnw=125&start=3&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522Fantastic%2BFour%2BMovie%2522%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8
coyotejack
05/17/2004, 13:02
Wasn't Max Headroom (sorry, can't think of the actor's name...lol) in Generation X? I haven't seen it, but I think I remember the commercials. Excellent memory there Freak! Now, could we consider the Conan movies in this list as well? The first Conan movie is one of my favorites, always has been...but the second one was dreadful. On that train of thought we also have Red Sonja and Sheena as well.
Wyldstaar
05/17/2004, 18:55
While there was a Conan comic book for years, I believe the great barbarian began his existance in novels.
darius_dax1
05/17/2004, 19:00
Conan was indeed novelized well before it was a comic book.
Basil Elks
05/17/2004, 19:05
Originally posted by doctorfate77
I wouldnt let Hitler see this film. You have control over what he watches?
P.S. I liked the Nick Fury made for TV movie. It was filmed in Surrey, BC.
freakazoid_x
05/17/2004, 19:12
No Hulk was way worse than Nick Fury. Hulk was just wretched. Nick Fury was no prize, but when compared to all other movies... not just comic movies but ALL movies, Holk reigns as the worst movie ever. Pure garbage.
Dr. Strange compared to Hulk, Supurb
Nick Hasselhof Agent of Shield compared to Hulk, Excellent
Fantastic Four (the original) compared to Hulk, pure movie goodness.
Nothing is worse than Hulk. I will stake my reputation on it. I do nothing but sit around and watch movies when I have the downtime to spare. I have yet to ever see a movie worse than Hulk.
That being said, the Nick Fury movie wasn't great, I saw it once... and once was enough.
Dude, why the you-on-Hulk violence? I really don't understand why everyone loathes it. It's a thinking movie, a rather deep reflection on existentialism and the nature of humanity vs the forced confines of society. Do you really wanna see a big dude mindlessly breaking stuff? Watch wrestling..... assuming you arent already. Not that theres anyhting wrong with that! I just cant help but feel that all the Hulk bashers simply didnt get it.
Although ya, Nolte and all that weirdness at the end was el stinko.
Wyldstaar
05/17/2004, 19:38
It's just not the same if you don't hear "HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS!" at least once. It's a moral imperative.
darius_dax1
05/17/2004, 19:40
Originally posted by Uberman
Do you really wanna see a big dude mindlessly breaking stuff?
When the movie is about the HULK it would make more sense.
Originally posted by Uberman
I just cant help but feel that all the Hulk bashers simply didnt get it.
I think we got it fine...we just didn't want it that way.
skeevo666
05/17/2004, 19:43
Originally posted by Uberman
I really don't understand why everyone loathes it. It's a thinking movie, a rather deep reflection on existentialism and the nature of humanity vs the forced confines of society.
Which would've been fine . . . if the comic was like that too. :(
But the more bad adaptions I see the more I enjoy a well-though out and interesting take on something, allowing for some deviation from the source. I want good quality old-school Hulk? I read the comic. I'm not saying the movie was gold, far from it. I liked it once, and it does not hold up well to multiple viewings because, for the most part, it takes itself too seriously. But I vastly prefer it to an adaption that is bad for its own reasons. Which is what I think this thread was about. I dont know if the movie missed th epoint of the Hulk, it was, instead, perhaps trying to ADD a point to a slightly pointless comic. (...To further upset people.)
Now if you want a movie that missed the point of the comic, look at LXG. Disgraceful!
Originally posted by Wyldstaar
It's just not the same if you don't hear "HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS!" at least once. It's a moral imperative.
while i do agree about the "hulk smash" part.
hulk did say "puny human".
and i liked hulk.... daredevil too.
:P hehe
freakazoid_x
05/17/2004, 19:52
Hulk wasn't a "thinking mans movie" it was opposite, it was mindless dreck that just went on and on for two hours, and time and again took scenes directly from other movies, slapped The Hulk or some other relevant character in them, and called it good.
Even if Hulk spoke the movie would have still been pure bull plop.
What was the symbolism when they had a Helicopter flying around on the movie screen for 5 minutes in three different panels? How about midway through the movie with the Hulk Dogs fight scene. It was so darkly animated that you couldn't tell what was going on. That scene was supposed to be the movies saving grace but the "symbolism" of not seeing what the heck was going on was just lost on me.
Not to start any fighting here, but I think your criticism that it was mindless seems to go against your other comments. My criticism is that it is trying too hard to be thoughful at the expense of what the crowd obviously wants, which is a big guy breaking things. You couldnt see the dogs getting smashed? Fair enough, I had that complaint too. But you being angry that it was lacking in some exploitational element is a slightly weak reason. Just like my friend who was mad because noone died. What is it ya want? Sheesh. It was boring, yes, but at least, if you chose to, you could think about it and maybe have something to say afterwards, beyond simply "Hulk looked cool, breaking stuff is fun, let's get a taco."
Unlike flippin' Daredevil which was not only terribly scripted and directed but totally asinine.
supergoblin
05/17/2004, 20:08
Originally posted by freakazoid_x
No Hulk was way worse than Nick Fury. Hulk was just wretched. Nick Fury was no prize, but when compared to all other movies... not just comic movies but ALL movies, Holk reigns as the worst movie ever. Pure garbage.
Dr. Strange compared to Hulk, Supurb
Nick Hasselhof Agent of Shield compared to Hulk, Excellent
Fantastic Four (the original) compared to Hulk, pure movie goodness.
Nothing is worse than Hulk. I will stake my reputation on it. I do nothing but sit around and watch movies when I have the downtime to spare. I have yet to ever see a movie worse than Hulk.
That being said, the Nick Fury movie wasn't great, I saw it once... and once was enough.
Ok so hulk was worse than Plan 9 From outer Space?
Well ya it was worse than Plan 9.... because Plan 9 was pure cinematic gold. Duh!
Wyldstaar
05/18/2004, 01:54
Originally posted by jedah_s
while i do agree about the "hulk smash" part.
hulk did say "puny human".
and i liked hulk.... daredevil too.
:P hehe
I only saw Hulk once and that was in the theatre on opening weekend, so my memory may be in error. Wasn't the "Puny human" quote from the dream sequence? I also seem to recall that it was rather quiet. The Hulk doesn't whisper. If people in the next county can't hear him declaring his intention to SMASH! Hulk isn't satisfied.
coyotejack
05/18/2004, 12:30
It was more of a growl...like a gutteral voice, almost like it was difficult for him to say.
I have to agree with uberman, I think the crowd didn't get it. Not that they couldn't get it, just that they were going in expecting one thing...and came out with another. No HULK SMASH, etc...
While I liked the movie, I did feel that some things dragged. The Absorbing Nolte was kind of odd...though the effect with his hand looked neat. I did feel they took more of the psychological route, the exploration of a man barely kept in check...and having something he knows is dangerous inside him, but actually likes the thought of letting it out. But then, maybe I was just impressed by Eric Bana. Put it this way, watching Hulk made me want to see Troy because of Bana...and he's excellent in both movies.
Daredevil...I was really let down. It was what I fear Catwoman will be: all eye-candy and bad scripting. It's not fair to lump Halle-cat there yet, but I just have that feeling about it.
Whoops, forgot to add: Yes, I know Conan was a novel first but I'm pretty sure most of the public wouldn't have see Conan because of the novels. The comic made him mainstream, that's why I consider it a "comic" movie.
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