Mattsolo's Movie Review

[mattsolo]

I have always thought of myself as an avid movie goer. To the exstent of “if they got an exciting trailer my life is boring enough I’ll probably go see it”. I will be using the Star method of rating the movies.
0 Stars are for movies like Battle Field Earth that have no worth what so ever. I will very rarely give a movie 0 Stars if at all possible. 0 Stars = I want my $7 and 2 hours back please!
1 Star * is for movies I hated and had little to no redeeming qualities. A one star movie is most likely something my wife made me go see. Most chick flix are 1 Star movies are only worth enduring for the nookie you may receive as a reward after the show. Example Mean Girls. ACK!
2 Stars **Are for flix that just don’t do any thing for me. The dialog and plot may be weak, or just get board. Example Hidalgo.
3 Stars *** Decent flick but as I like to call them Renters. WAIT for video if you can. Example Walking Tall.
4 Stars **** Great movie but had some issues with plot or keeping my attention. Minor flaws. Movies you should catch at the Theater on the second or 3rd week after opening. Example Hellboy.
5 Stars ***** Best of the Best SIR! With honors! Great movies all around. Opening weekend types of flix. Examples LOTR!

So I hope you all like my reviews, try to keep the Flames to a minimum. I am merely giving my opinion as a Marvel Zombie and all around comic book nut. Feel free to disagree and voice you opinion by responding here but have intelligent reasons for your opinions before you post “that carp sux”. Thanks for reading 1st review coming soon!

[JacinB]

That carp sux!

Oh, wait ... :grin:

[Yeti]

Originally posted by mattsolo

1 Star * is for movies I hated and had little to no redeeming qualities. A one star movie is most likely something my wife made me go see. Most chick flix are 1 Star movies are only worth enduring for the nookie you may receive as a reward after the show. Example Mean Girls. ACK!


I think you should do Chick Flix as its own separate category. We know they automatically get * (1) rating but that is from the Male perspective, but I think you ought to rate them further from the female perspective based on how good the post-nookie was........

[JacinB]

Or, even better, you could rate them on how painful they were to sit through and how much post-movie nookie you should get for enduring such a movie.

:grin:

[mattsolo]

Troy ***** 5STARS!

1st review the Epic TROY! 200 Million dollar movie Starring Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Sean Bean, Orlando Bloom, Brian Cox (William Stryker in X2), and a bunch of really hot chicks!
Troy (as everyone who has had 10th grade English) is based on Homers Iliad. It all revolves around the quest for glory and power at any price. The short of it is Paris (Orlando Bloom a.k.a Legolas) steals Agamemnon’s brother’s wife Helen of Troy. The movie is about the War their love affair provokes.
Action Action Action. It starts with a battle that leads in to a battle that gives way to another battle that sets up the finally that is a (you guessed it) HUGE BATTLE!! YIPPY!!!
The movie starts real strong showing the awesome fighter that is Achilles. Man is he good! The fight scenes are the best I have ever seen. Most sword fighting battles (Star Wars included) get boring after the first couple of minutes. But Troy keeps things fresh from battle to battle using different styles and weapons in each fight.
The effects where top notch as well. The trailers showed the wide shot of the Trojan army sailing for Sparta in 1000 ships, but it’s one of those things you have to see on the big screen to really appreciate. Also the wide shots of the armies were as good if not better detailed than that of LOTR Return of the King.
The Actors where off the freeking chart! With so much talent crammed into 2 hours it was all I could do to keep up. Brad Pitt gives an Oscar worthy performance showing his depth as an actor reaching great highs and greater lows all in the span of about 9 seconds.
Plenty of mushy lovey dovey carp to keep the women satisfied as well.
Take your SO (Significant other) to see Troy ASAP. You will have a great time if you bladder holds out. Till Next time
Solo Out!

[WarHULK]

I think Troy was a decent movie. I really enjoyed both Bana and Pitt's work in this movie. I'd say you did an excellent job at reviewing it.

That said, this is one of those movie I will probably never need to see again. It was decent and I won't speak badly of it, but it wasn't so gripping that I *need* to watch it.

I went to see it at a drive-in with my girlfriend and it ended up becoming an episode of Mystery Theatre 3000. We couldn't help but pick at the movie, making fun of every little thing we could. One of our favorites were the armor suits with what looked like little "ring bell for service" bells on them. We imagined them playing their own battle theme music in their chest bells and "dinging" them after making a dramatic statement. The, of course, there was Hector's wife and the child we were certian was NOT Hector's.

Ah, it was good fun. Try watching this movie while in a silly mood for an entirely different movie experience!

[Heretic]

Troy was based on the Iliad like the captain america movie was based on the comic book. There were so many inconsistencies, it became a huge distraction while watching it. As a simple movie, it was alright, especially if you have never read the classic epic, but it was hard for me to watch. I wouold have to give it a max **.

[doctorfate77]

Mean Girls was *****!!! one of the better SNL films in years. Troy was Gladiator for Gay Men and less imaginative, *** (two extra stars for brad pitt's hotness).

[de4dp00l]

Troy was an OK film. The editing was choppy, and Achilles was pretty one-dimensional. Too much broodily staring off into nothingness.

It did have some really great action sequences, including what I think is the first one on one spear fight I've ever seen in a movie.

My biggest beef with the movie though is how dumbed down it was. Troy was not taken in less than a week, Achilles was not the only important Greek in the Iliad, and Odysseus is not a background player. I'm terrified that they're going to try and do the the Odyssey in the same fashion.

[mattsolo]

Deadpool I totaly agree with you. The Siege of Troy took 11 years! But my knowlage of the original tale did not take away from the exsperince at all.

As far as the Odyssey goes as long as Sean Bean is in it, I am there opening day!

I think Pitts great performance overshadowed the great protrails given by Bana and Bloom. Orlando played the scared selfish kid for once. A far cry from Pirates and Legolas both 5 star movies.

[hi im tom]

Hey, Mean Girls was awesome.

[Heretic]

If we are going to get into specifics regarding major errors in the movie Troy, then:
The portrayal of Agammemnon was quite off, he was a proud king, but considered a good man, not the jerk he was in the movie. He survived Troy and was slain when he arrived home.
Achilles died on the battlefield, in battle at the walls of Troy and never saw the end of the war, sacking of Troy, or the Trojan Horse.
Ajax survived Achilles and was a major fixture in the battles while Achilles sulked in his tent. He won portions of Achilles' armor in the funeral games, played after the death of Achilles.
The battle for troy lasted for 9 years prior to the dispute that caused Achilles to leave the battlefield, rather than the 1 day as portrayed in the movie.
The dispute was, Agammemnon took as a slave the daughter of one of Apollo's priests, Apollo insisted on her return and caused havok in the Argives( they never referred to themselves as greeks) untill she was surrendered. Achilles counseled Agamemnon to return the girl, and he did but then took Achilles' slave girl, not royalty, whom he was very fond of.
Achilles was never portrayed as a loose cannon, as in the movie.
Menelaus survived the war and was reunited w/ Helen after the sacking of Troy. He took her back, w/ some help from Aphrodite. He was the only hero to arrive home safely, w/ Ulysses getting home after 12 years of travelling.

[batfink]

****Spoiler****



















Heritic,
Are you impling Achilles isn't killed?
WTF??????????

[Heretic]

Go see the movie.

[batfink]

Go see the movie
No thanks. I'd rather watch something closer to its own source material, like Van Helsing.

[Yeti]

Originally posted by Heretic
If we are going to get into specifics regarding major errors in the movie Troy, then:


We weren't you were.

Personnally I loved the movie, I learned years and years ago that making a book into a movie is never going to make me happy, there just isn't the time and money to do everything the way it was in the book. The movie wasn't based on anything, it was inspired by. A subtle difference to be sure, but if they wanted to do the Iliad, then they would have called the movie that.

I also thought that Bana's portrayal of Hector far outshone Pitt's performance of Achilles. Maybe there was more to work with character-wise, but I think he did do a tremendous job of it. Although Pitt's ability to show the slow and deep emotional transformation of Achilles was excellent and as usual he showed that he can play anything, despite being a female eye candy (and some other Fate77;) ). You should respect him for not selling out to his adoring masses and doing any movie that closely resembles a chick flick.

[Maniac_nmt]

Troy, by itself could be a 3 star flick. However, when compared to the Illiad and other source material, no thanks. I was almost ready to leave when Menalaus was killed. That pretty much killed the whole purpose of the Trojan war, and the pretext for the movie/story.

If he's dead, what freaking difference does it make one way or the other.

20 days could have been forgiven if the rest had followed the plot. Minor snags are okay, but when you don't follow the plot any further then A kills B, beware greeks bearing gifts, sack the city, it kind of ruins it.

Did anyone else have lots of sound, and picture quality problems when they saw it? A number of times the color tone changed, and sound faded in and out when I saw it.

[ASpaceBoyDream]

I was gonna go see Troy, but I don't like guys in, y'know, that way. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Sandra Wu-San]

Originally posted by hi im tom
Hey, Mean Girls was awesome.
Here, here! I totally agree. Now what really stunk was "13 Going on 30!"

[mattsolo]

Shrek 2 *****5 Stars


Where do you start? Shrek 2 is one of the few sequels that has had the ability to equal and surpass the creative and comedic spark of the first movie.

The all star cast of Mike Meyers (as Shrek), Eddie Murphy (Donkey), Cameron Diaz (Princess Fiona) is back for this hilarious Animated comedy. The second installment of this Ogre tale starts off shortly after the Shreks honeymoon where the Mr and Mrs are invited to see Fiona’s parents who King and Queen of the Beverly Hill like Kingdome of Far Far Away. The rest of the movie is about the adventure that happens in Far Far Away as well as the new characters Shrek and Donkey encounter. The original cast is joined by John Clese ( as the King) Julie Andrews( the Queen) and the man who makes the movie Antonio Banderas ( playing Puss N Boots). Jennifer Andrews and Rupert Everett (2 people I have never heard of) round out the new cast as the Fairy Godmother and the Prince Charming.

This movie is a nonstop laugh a second witty comedy ride that will have you gripping your side while rolling in the isle. The oceans of “Sight Gags” and “In Jokes” pour from the screen while the dialog and story keeps you in stitches. I can’t think why someone would not enjoy every second of this delightful side splitting fairytale suitable for all ages. Too bad 5 Stars is all I can give this great flick, a must see.

Post movie Nookie? **** 4 stars. She will be in such a good mood there’s no telling how well you’ll do, especially if you give her the Puss N Boots eyes while doing you best Antonio Banderas voice.


That's it Solo Out!

[thugit]

I'm gonna pretend I didn't see you write "Puss" and "nookie" in the same paragraph.


All ages.

Pfft.

[batfink]

Jennifer Andrews is from "Absolutely Fabulous" a BBC comedy.She was the one that wasn't a "New Avenger."

[mattsolo]

Not ringing any bells batfink but thanks anyway.

[hypnotoad22]

shrek 2 was one of the best movies ever!! i absolutly loved it. pinnochio was my favorite. i completly agree with you solo.

[Supes]

Your unknown voice talents are british actors... hence a majority of our lack of knowledge of them.

I'm probably wrong but wasn't Rupert such and such that Mr. Lockheart guy in Harry Potter:2? And it was Larry King (that old radio guy) who was the voice of the stepmother.