I saw the Transformers movie last night. After sitting and thinking about what I saw, here are the conclusions I have drawn about the movie.

I think that the Autobots were not only perverts but also the bad guys of the movie.

Radical thinking, but lets see if you can follow.

The movie opens with the Decepticons waging an attack on a US military installation. After an awesome attack sequence that was frickin sweet it shows the Decepticons trying to hack a military network looking for information. When a small band of soldiers managed to snap a picture of the transformer and escape one of the Decepticons breaks off and persues them.

Well at this point you're left with the kneejerk reaction that the Decepticons are evil. However it's later revealed that they're looking for information on the whereabouts of not only their leader but also "The all spark."

To me that smacks more of a government military unit. The US Government was not only holding their leader captive but also holding a Decepticon WMD hostage. Now with any other weapon, there are always rogue terror units who either want it or don't want you to have it. Enter the Autobots or as I call them, Pervbots.

The first Pervbot we're introduced to is Bumblebee. When a young man buys his first car and it happens to be an old beat up yellow Camero IE Bumblebee. Well on the inagural drive of Bumblebee the young man manages to pick up a rather attractive young woman and Bumblebee attempts to make the conditions right for the young fella to get lucky IN THE CAR. Which has to be the human equivilant to asking someone to poop in your mouth for sexual gratification. Well as the movie progresses, the heroic Decepticons make contact with Sam (the young man) and attempt to secure information he has to the whereabouts of their leader AND/OR the all spark. Bumblebee, seeing his number one source of gratification being threatened, manages to abduct Sam from the Decepticon in question. This leads to an awesome chase/fight scene. Later after the rescue Bumblebee takes Sam to meet his fellow pervbots where fellow Pervbot, Ratchet, remarks about Sam's desire to mate with his female companion.

Meanwhile with the Decepticons second attempt to hack with the government computers Soundwave snuck abord Air Force One and attempted to do it from there. However he was once again stopped and he had to confront and defeat several secret service guys. He defeated them non-lethally I might add. Now if he really was evil he'd have gone right after the President for the information he needed.

Also the Decepticon that went after the platoon of troops confronted them in an attempt to keep their efforts on this planet hush hush. The troops managed to defeat it though and the first part of their mission was compromised.

Eventually the Government tracks down Sam and the Pervbots and detains him. And once again, the Pervbots, seeing their entertainment being threatened, rescued him. After yet another totally rad chase sequence the Pervbots got access to the map to the all spark Sam had and decided to allow Sam and Bumblebee to be captured.

It was at this time that the Government revealed that they not only had the All Spark but were also illegally detaining Megatron. Thank god for Soundwave as this hero decided to not only set free Megatron but also call for back-up from the other Decepticons. However it was too little, to late as Sam convinced the government to free Bumblebee and give them the all spark.

Ultimately this lead to a desperate and ultimately doomed struggle in a heavily populated area (Sams idea) as the Decepticons were picked off one by one, with Sam himself delivering the killing blow to not only Megatron but also the last hope Cybertron had.

The movie ends with Sam and his girl making love on the hood of Bumblebee while the other Pervbots sat around and watched, which to let you know how wrong that really is, here's a human equivilent. It's like watching two sheep make love on top of one of your buddies. Then Optimus Prime steals himself away from the "festivities" to send out a call to all surviving Pervbots that it's okay to occupy Earth since he destroyed any hope Cybertron had of ever being populatable again. He then scratched his butt, seriously, go back and look. He picks at the tires on the back of his leg, the human equivilant of butt scratching.

The end.

So in other words...Michael Bay is an idiot.

The lil' guy was Frenzy, not Soundwave.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:MovieFrenzy.png

He originally WAS supposed to be Soundwave, (as was the helicoptor) but the creators decided that wasn't a good role for him. Soundwave is now slated to debut in the sequel.

Dude, if it turns into a boombox then it's Soundwave. And that movie was NOT good enough to make a Sequel.

if you think the Decepticons were good and the Autobots are bad... well you did not understand the movie.

The decepticons want the All spark to create a new army and destroy the human race. Plain and Simple.

What Mick said. I'm thinking you thought up of all this just to have some fun with the movie but if not then you are clearly overanalyzing it. Megatron states himself that he wanted the allspark to conquer the universe, included wipping out earth.
Now for the whole Pervbots thing, I'm going to meet you halfway on that. Bumblebee was just trying to be a buddy to Sam and help him out. Wouldn't anyone of us do the same for a buddy of ours? But I was a tad vexed that while Sam was doing his thing, the other autobots were basically enjoying the show. Now that was somewhat pervish.

Man. True comedy is seriously lost on some people.


Loved the analysis freak! So funny, yet so true.....

But you forgot the Pervbots pissin on the government people. Totally anti-establishment there.....

Yeah I deliberately left that one out because I once peed on a crossing guard and it would be like the pot calling the kettle black if I said anything about that.

Don't worry, she asked me to pee on her. Well, okay, not really. But she made me late for work.

As for Bumblebee helping out his buddy, What buddy says to his other buddies, "Dude I'll help you get with that girl but you both have to go at it in my mouth." That's a pervert.

There is another element I left out as it might be construed as "racist" but if anyone REALLY needs to know what it is, feel free to contact me in a manner that General Realms population cannot see and I will explain it to you. I believe it relates back to an episode of Family Guy.

And as for the comments Megatron made. If a planet full of lesser life forms like say... rats... illegally held me hostage for decades, I'd be a little angry too. And as for controlling the universe, so? Speaking as an American I can say that America has been trying to do that for years. "We gotta be first on the moon." "We Gotta be first to Mars." "We gotta build a moon base." Any of this sounding familiar? Megatron's not evil. He's just a politician with an army.

Actually, what you seem to try and do, is make what you say your country does "ok" by saying it's ok for the Decepticons to do. If our political leaders ever found a giant robot, frozen some place like Megatron was, I do hope that they keep him frozen until they can find out everything they can about him. That's call taking care of those that elected you. They should also keep it secret to prevent any stupid terrorist or criminal from trying and bring it back alive.

I won't turn this into a politic thread, so I'll stop this part of the argument here.

Has for the Pervbot, Well, since the fifties, it seems that a car is the most popular place for teenagers to have sex so.... Bumble Bee just tries to be friendly with the guy, it's just that he won't care if they do it on him or in him because he is a car, a robot.

Hmm, well not to disagree with you but if the feds did have a giant robot, I'd apprieciate a heads up so that I could adjust my life accordingly. Like if they were keeping it in Middle America somewhere I might plan on living in Washington or Maine so I could lessen the risk of getting crushed under terrible gigantic metal feets. If some other country or terrorists want to risk screwing around with a giant robot I say they are welcome to it. That sort of weapon is notorious for backfiring and I'd rather it happen across the ocean then here.

Also, here's the thing. Bumblebee ISN'T A CAR. Oh sure he might have 4 tires and go vroom vroom but he's also a sentient being. And if you try to arrange friends to have sex inside an oriface on your body somewhere, it's a deviant activity. Unless Bumblebee married them or something but it's still the equivilant to watching sheep go at it, because the two humans are lesser life forms.

No one has taken note of my most important observation, Optimus Prime was picking at his butt. Why would they animate that?